Hey Dude,

So I’ve been hooking up with this guy for about two months. After about a month and a half he confronted me at a party that he needed more out of the relationship and wanted to “get to know me better.” For the next week things were great. Fast forward one week and I don’t hear from him at all. I text him a few times and don’t hear back. I asked him to talk and when he called me he got very defensive. He said that he was not a guy that will text me or call me during the week and then he couldn’t be in any sort of relationship. I then reminded him that I was not looking for a relationship and that he was the one who initiated the original conversation. He’s out of town for the next two weeks and we left it that we would see each other when he gets back. How can I salvage the hooking up part of the relationship without seeming like I want a relationship (because I don’t)? And why would he contradict himself like that?

-Confused College Girl Read More »

The title pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? I mean, this isn’t exactly rocket science, this is common f*cking sense. Which not everyone is born with or develops. A lot of guys out there are assholes. They are. Certainly EVERYONE has the potential to ACT like an asshole every once in a while. So the question becomes, how do you know if this is who he is or how he’s acting in the moment? There are tons of ways to tell, and it doesn’t take very long to discern. George Carlin claimed you could know within 5 minutes of talking to someone. Here are 11 signs he’s an asshole…

initiating the gallery...

And there you have it, Ladies, 11 signs he’s an a-hole. I’m positive I missed a ton. What do you agree with? Disagree with? Think should have been on the list? Do you have a Top 10 Signs list as well? Fire away in the comments below…oh, and for those of you who think I’m being bias by just singling out the boys…just you wait.

Only funny things are jokes to me,

The Dude

Guys, bless their hearts, can be quite clueless as most of you probably know. We love and hate them, and they’re so infuriating sometimes! While we like to play it off that we can read minds and know everything, the truth is we can’t always read dudes as well as we think. Sure, we’re intuitive and can generally guess what’s going on in their mind (usually sex), but when it comes down to how a guy really feels about us, we can get a little insecure.

If he’s spending time with you on a regular basis, that’s a good sign. If he’s taking you out at night and wants to see you in the daytime too, even better. But what happens when you’re at that awkward stand-still where you don’t know what’s going on with a possibly budding relationship? How do you ask a guy what he wants? Is it even okay to do that? We don’t want to seem crazy, but sometimes we just need reassurance that you like us. And if you don’t then we’d like to stop wasting our time.

[Lead image via The Vow/We Heart It]

It’s extremely fitting that the first official Glamour issue of 2012 (and the last one to hit newsstands in 2011) features the Kardashian sisters. Could they have been any more overexposed this year? The answer is probably yes, but I must admit that the Kardashian ladies are my not-so-secret, not-so-guilty pleasure. I am loving this vintage photo of the sisters. Khloe’s hair is out of this world, and it’s nice to see all of them look refreshingly silly and vibrant.
This month’s issue had even less substance than usual, which I’m totally cool with. Sometimes all you need in life is photos of pretty clothes and some interesting insight into what guys consider their dating deal breakers… Read More »

My jaw dropped within the first minute of me opening this “back to school” edition of Seventeen. Why are they suggesting $70 t-shirts and $100 shirts to their readers? I’m not sure who they think their demographic is, but I’m pretty sure it consists of girls who are more likely to shop at Forever 21 than French Connection. That said, I was totally loving their fashion spreads. I love how carefree, eclectic and vibrant it is, and I hope their readers are inspired by that.

When I got to the section on guys and relationships, I was pleasantly surprised by the article on what to say in tricky hookup situations. It was a great piece on openly communicating while still being sensitive and thoughtful. Very impressive. Naturally, it was followed by an article “decoding” guys. Always, always mockable.

Seventeen says: “What are you doing this weekend?”  = “I want to ask you out, but I’m too nervous to ask.”
Jasmine says: Or…he’s just curious about what you’re doing this weekend. While yes, it is possible that he is into you, this phrase is way too vague. Ridiculously uncool of Seventeen to encourage a new generation of girls to overanalyze a guy’s every. single. word. Read More »

When I first laid eyes on this month’s issue of Glamour, my attention immediately went to the “THE JEANS THAT MAKE YOU INSTANTLY LOOK SLIMMER” headline. Offensive, to say the least. Because you know, as women, we can’t just be content and proud of our bodies as-is. We have to constantly seek ways to look skinnier and hide our (completely socially-defined) flaws. Way to be empowering and encouraging, Glamour!

The other most offensive part of this cover is the fact that somehow, Heidi Klum, a professional supermodel, looks ridiculously plastic on the cover. Like, really, Heidi Klum has to be airbrushed to almost unrecognizability for the cover? I don’t think so. (Naturally, every inside photos looks phenomenal.) Already so much poor judgment and I’m not even 10 pages into the magazine yet. As I flip through, I’m bored by the mostly uninspired fashion advice – denim dresses are in no way sexy. Stop perpetrating lies. Eventually, I got to the column written by “Jake,” Glamour’s version of The Dude, and this month, he’s giving us insight to why guys have problems with commitment.

Glamour says: Need for newness.
Jasmine says: Or an immature perspective based on a childish need for your partner to be a distraction from your dull existence.

Glamour says: Fear of tears issues.
Jasmine says: I’m all about avoiding getting hurt/hurting others as much as possible. That said, actively blowing off someone you’ve been dating because you’re “scared of getting hurt” is cowardly. Incredibly disrespectful. Rude. Not to mention, hurtful to the person you’re dating.

Glamour says: Daddy issues.
Jasmine says: Obviously, our relationships with our parents play a huge role in shaping the kind of people we grow up to be as adults, and I’m sure that men who have extraordinarily wonderful or extraordinarily awful fathers are terrified of not living up to their father’s legacy, or following in their father’s neglectful footsteps. That said, we all have fears and baggage to overcome, and that is part of being a functional, fulfilled, happy adult who doesn’t cultivate a reputation for being terrible at relationships.

To see even more funny fun times from everyone’s favorite fashion/lifestyle magazine, click here!

Hey Dude,

So I am a student at Arizona State; that right there says it all. They should put somewhere before going to ASU “Don’t fall in love at this school.” Anyways, a little over a month ago I made the mistake of falling for a boy. We flirted over Facebook, his roommate dates my best friend at school, and he invited me out with him and his guy friends one night. We both had way too much to drink and I was feeling a little too good about myself, and well, long story short, we slept together.

Here I am thinking that I finally have a guy that could possibly like me, or want to pursue something and I mess it up by sleeping with him right away. I am a short blonde girl with features that guys usually notice before they get to know me. I DID NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN THIS TIME! We talked a couple more times after that and he visited me at the bar I work at. We had a short lunch one day so I could give him some study guides for a class, then four days later I left to go back home to New Jersey for the summer. And him… Well, he went home too. To CANADA!

Now I can’t stop thinking about him! He asked me to take a class with him in the fall, and we are both living in the same condo complex in the fall as well. We haven’t talked in a long time and I really do not want to lose contact with him. Better yet, for him to continue thinking I am just a girl to have sex with. I am royally confused and have no clue what to do. I know he has no idea of my feelings but I would feel like a weirdo telling him that I can not get him off of my mind. I highly doubt he thinks about me too, but from time to time he continues to like things on my Facebook page. I have never been in a serious relationship and really want to hopefully have one soon. I don’t want to continue screwing things up with this guy so I need help. What in the world would you want the girl to do, if anything?

Sincerely,
Desperate Hopeless Romantic Chick Read More »

Hey Dude,

So here’s the thing: I want to be friends with my ex-boyfriend.

I might be naive, and maybe it won’t work out, but I still want to do it. We dated for a really long time in high school (all four years), then went our separate ways for college. Then in college we did the whole hooking up thing for a bit, and now he has a new girlfriend and we are home for the summer. He says he wants to hang out.
Here’s my chance.

How do I do it? How can we really be just friends? I am not in love with him anymore, but he was my best friend for so long. Is there any hope of being real, genuine, friends?

– The Friendly Ex Read More »

Dear Dude,

I’m having some trouble figuring out what the guy I’m dating wants. We’ve been dating for a month now; he plays in my band and we met in February. He started flirting with me, chatting all the time and texting, until we finally kissed a month ago and we started dating. We go out 2 times a week and I already know all his friends. The problem is that he never had a serious relationship before, so he has no clue! He almost never texts, only for very specific things, and he makes me plan every date. Sometimes we don’t talk for 2 days until one of us finally talks, and I have no idea where is this going.

I really like him but I really don’t want to be played. He says he really likes me and I’m a very fun girl to be with, but that’s all. Is he into me, or just wants to be into my panties?

Thanks for listening! And greetings from Argentina!

— Tell Me What He Wants (What he Really, Really Wants) Read More »

Hi Dude,

I’m finishing up my sophomore year in college and I’m STILL a virgin. I’m not the prettiest pumpkin in the patch, but I’m not unattractive either. I’m confident and kind, and I’m not at all clingy. To be honest, I  haven’t had very many (zero) serious relationships. But also, I don’t want my first time to be a fairytale… A wham-bam-thankya-ma’am would be fine. Just, ANYTHING. But, I can’t, like, go out and act all slutty, go home with some guy and then be like, “Oh, by the way, I’m a virgin.” But I can’t not tell him either… because then what happens when he goes for it, things get all bloody, or I scream or something?

I need help, Dude. My gut tells me that I should chat up one of my guy friends and be like, “Hey, I’m tired of being a virgin, so, let’s f*ck.” Although, that could end horribly.

Bottom line, I want to get this over with so I can start having fun. Please, Dude, tell me how to go about this. (With hopefully as little drama as possible.)

Thank you!!!
- The Twenty Year Old Virgin Read More »