[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Hey Dude,

What is the best way to meet good guy friends? I’m not talking boyfriend prospects, just good friends. I recently transferred to a new university and have always been “one of the guys”…how do I get a good group without being asked out on dates?

Best,

Girl Looking For A Boy Friend

Dear Girl Looking For A Boy Friend

Have you tried not having a vagina?

That’s about the only way to guarantee not being asked out by a straight guy. Otherwise, I can’t offer much in the way of guaran-damn-tees. If a guy’s interested, he’s interested. In fact, most guys are interested-at one point or another-in their female friends. That’s actually how a lot of guys get female friends. It’s a wrong turn down a one-way street to the Friend Zone. You’re just looking for a way to quicken the journey for him.

You’re at a new university and consider yourself one of the guys, get involved in things that a lot of the guys are going to get into. Maybe it’s a sports club, a film club, hang around a frat house during the day, go to a lecture and chat up a guy, and if you want it to remain platonic just make it clear: talk about your exes, past relationships, ask if there are other guys’ relationship status, or you could always try the honest approach and say, “I’m looking for a friend, not a hook up.”

I could give you all kinds of cliché advice: burp in public, cuss, don’t wear make-up, don’t wear clothes that show off your body, and so on. All of those things have a common denominator: you trying to create a persona rather than just being yourself. That’s why I’m not going to give you those suggestions.

Be you. Act like you. Do things that interest you and when doing so involves you crossing paths with a group of guys, go up to them and say, “Mind if I join you?” One or two might be interested but that’s not something you can control.

Friends can be found most readily in places you feel welcome and are willing to welcome others.

“Avengers Assemble!”

Captain Dude

Can guys and girls be “just friends”? Ah, the age old question that has plagued us for years. Some say, “Of course!” Some say, “Absolutely not.” I like to take the cop-out answer and say, “It depends.” Though it’s possible to be friendly with a male friend, there seems to always be some sort of flirtation and attraction that is hard to ignore with at least one of our guy pals.

We all have that one guy that has always been more than just a friend, whether we like to admit it or not. We’re in denial. We can’t admit our feelings because if we do — things get complicated. Hanging out and getting a cup of coffee suddenly turns into a panic stricken “IS THIS A DATE?” crisis, and we no longer feel comfortable around a guy we’ve known for years as our friend. So if you’re in Friend Zone denial, I’m here to help you. Here’s six clear signs that you may have romantic feelings for the alleged platonic man in your life. Read More »

Once a key to success, wingmen have become so commonplace (there are even books about their rules and various codes) that even the women preyed on by bros and their wingmen know their lingo and their tactics, making their hard work a big waste of time. If guys want to improve their game and up their chances of wooing a lady, they are gonna need to change up their Bro Strategy.

Enter: the Wingwoman.

Wingwomen are the future. Whereas most women are hip to the movements of wingmen, wingwomen are the stealth operation of the “game,” and the key to successful mingling between the sexes. And not just for the guy we might be wingin’ for; for ourselves, too!

For all of you skeptics out there, I have here for you, the five reasons that wingwomen rock:

1) We are better with the grenades. So let’s say that this skanky girl is chasing your guy friend around the bar and he can’t seem to shake her loose. Trying to pawn her off on one of his bros has proved futile, either because she only has eyes for him or because even they won’t take that hit. What’s a bro to do? With the wingwoman in their arsenal they need not do anything at all. She just stands near him, performs a simple neck stroke or arm-around-the-waist maneuver and that hippo knows this guy is not for the taking. Read More »

Your college experience flies by so fast that you’re often stuck standing in line for graduation wondering where the past four years went. You vaguely remember meeting your best friend when she held your hair back after your first frat party and you kinda remember that all-nighter you pulled to get 3 term papers done in one night. But the rest is a blur of theme parties, walks of shame, and begging your older sister for her fake ID.

Before you know it, you’re out in the real world, working a real job alongside real people, wondering what happened to no-class Friday and $3 pitchers. And trust me, it ain’t fun.

It gets pretty easy to get caught up in it all and forget to be young and crazy. That’s why, with only a little way’s to go until I hit the big 2-5, I’ve put together the ultimate list of everything we, as fun-loving and fearless women, need to accomplish before we turn 25. Read More »

Continuing its industry-leading efforts to provide strong role models to its female readers, Seventeen once again chose a winner for this month’s cover: Barbados’ own marijuana maven, Rihanna. Nothing like trashing hotel rooms and smoking illicit substances to inspire girls to be their best and make their dreams a reality. But aside from sharing “The Awesome Reason She’s So Happy Now,” Seventeen also provided us with an excess of tear-out pages designed to get us in gear for the school year.

From three foot wide “Ultimate Jeans Guide!” to the overly-complicated six-week workout plan in “Get Your Best Body for Back-to-School,” it seemed like the brains behind the Seventeen operation did their best to inspire readers to destroy the latest issue in a vain attempt to neatly tear through the delicate magazine paper. But fear not, dear readers, for the juicy insider secrets and advice within the magazine itself was brilliant as ever.

As usual, I skipped over the fashion stories (who knew denim would be big this fall?) and headed straight to the Love Life section. In “Dude Drama,” Nadia shared the story of her ill-fated tryst with an Internet lover. It began as all great romances do: “When I was 15, I fell in love with a guy I met online.” That didn’t work out well? Shocker. We were also treated to the “real MySpace breakup convo” between 16-year-old Jessie and her sleazy boyfriend. Honey, I feel for you, but MySpace? Really?

“The Wild Stuff He Says Behind Your Back” contained some of the usual anti-sexting propaganda (but really, high school students: stop sending naked photos to your bf), along with some other “surprises”: Sometimes guys rank girls! Sometimes guys exaggerate! Sometimes guys…turn to their older guy friends for kissing tutorials? (Although, to be fair, that “over the shoulder makeout maneuver” is the closest Seventeen‘s ever gotten to publishing anything remotely sexy, albeit neck-pain inducing.) Read More »

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (like, am I being a tease?) over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Hey Dude,

I have a question about the supposed unwritten rule that guys can’t go after their friend’s exes. While me and my boyfriend were dating, I became really close with his best  friend, developing into a friendship some might call an “emotional affair.”

Anyways, for unrelated reasons, a few weeks ago, me and the boyfriend split amicably. I stayed close with his friend though, and not surprisingly, almost immediately, we jumped on each other. In fact, we’ve been spending time together as if we’re dating. We always had chemistry and since we had become so close emotionally, it feels like slipping right into an established relationship. Although we were always fairly honest about our friendship, we’ve kept this quiet.

We both feel pretty guilty about the situation (which is why we’ve held off on sex), but when we talk about how we should proceed, I get completely mixed signals. We both agree that we value our friendship, and want to continue to be close even if hooking up is totally off the table (and we are able to enjoying talking and spending time together without sex factoring in). Read More »

While spending some much needed time with my guy friends, I’ve noticed something rather peculiar about them lately.  Besides learning that I will be physically removed from the room if I utter a word during episodes of Lost, I have come face to face with their overly homoerotic relationships they hold with one another.

OK, they’re not making out, but they’re getting pretty damn close. In one example (true story) I witnessed a group of hockey guys actually doing body shots off of one another. Yes. Whipped cream and all.  Talk about a physically pursued bromance.  In other examples, I have been exposed to drunken snuggle fests (including fights for big spoon), long embraces, and the occasional butt slap.

Like dudes, whoa, save it for the locker room.

Was this some sort of sociological discovery? Were guys actually more intimate and emotional with one another than we had all thought? Was I going to be honored with some sort of Nobel Prize for my “research” in gender studies?

Hm, maybe not. While guys may hug it out from time to time, they’re still not sharing any sort of feelings. At all. In fact, two of the very same guy friends who have weekly Bro Dates built into their schedules were hooking up with the same girl at the same time and had no idea.

How could that be? Considering how much time they spend together, how could that never come up? What the hell are guys talking about? Read More »

[Got a Dude itch you just can't scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Dear Dude,
For the first time since 8th grade, I’m single. This is great right? It gives me a chance to explore, experiment and really get to know myself and it turns out I’m pretty cool.

Awesome, except all of my guy friends seem to think that I should experiment with them. And it extends beyond that; guys I meet at in class, at parties or even at work all only want to date or hook up. When I explain that I just want to be friends (and mean it!) they basically stop talking to me.

Is it me? Am I only interesting when sex is on the table? After eight years of being someone or another’s girlfriend, I would really like to just be me. Does this mean I have to sacrifice guy friends to avoid a boyfriend?

Signed,
Single and Staying That Way Read More »

Yes, we're even better than Barney.

The wingman: a legendary tool of bros worldwide.

Once a key to success, wingmen have become so commonplace (there are even books about their rules and various codes) that even the women preyed on by bros and their wingmen know their lingo and their tactics, making their hard work a big waste of time. If guys want to improve their game and up their chances of wooing a lady, then, they are gonna need to change up their Bro Strategy.

Enter, the Wingwoman.

Wingwomen are the future.  Whereas most women are hip to the movements of wingmen, wingwomen are the stealth operation of the “game,” and the key to successful mingling between the sexes. And not just for the guy we might be wingin’ for; for ourselves, too!

For all of you skeptics out there, I have here for you, the five reasons that wingwomen rock:

1)   We are better with the grenades. So let’s say that this skanky girl is chasing your guy friend around the bar and he can’t seem to shake her loose.  Trying to pawn her off on one of his bros has proved futile, either because she only has eyes for him or because even they won’t take that hit.  What’s a bro to do?  With the wingwoman in their arsenal they need not do anything at all. She just stands near him performs a simple neck stroke or arm-around-the-waist maneuver and that hippo knows this guy is not for the taking. Read More »

I miss my boys. Sigh.

I’m girly to the core.

I love pink (even though no one in New York wears it; what the hell?), I’m fussy about what shampoo I use and, if I had the option, I would wear dresses every single day. I’ve never had brothers and even my dog is a girly girl, but I have always found myself being happiest around the dudes. My best friends are guys, and I definitely prefer nights watching them scream at the TV while playing Call of Duty to sipping cosmos and having Sex-and-the-City-esque discussions with the ladies.

I lived with guys for a year and I loved every second of it. I’m not sure why, but recently I moved in with a girl. And it’s been… different. Sure, it’s nice to have someone tidy and not stinky who DVRs The Bachelor religiously, but I miss my guys. Why? Well, why don’t I just give you 10 lovely reasons. Read More »