I like hanging with the guys; so what?

Growing up I was always a tomboy. I never wore anything remotely girly, played sports, and even had short hair (though that one was totally my mom’s doing). So it came as no surprise that the majority of my closest friends were of the male variety.

When college came around, I’d finally gotten out of that awkward tomboy phase and I was meeting guys who just saw me as a cute girl, not the girl who used to beat them up on the playground. I knew that if I was going to date in college it had to be with a guy who was OK with the fact that a lot of my close friends were male. I didn’t want a boyfriend who would get jealous if I went out with my best friend without him. Fortunately, I struck gold with my boyfriend, Matt. He got stuck in the friend zone a lot in high school, too, and his best friend happens to be a girl. He totally understands where I’m coming from and doesn’t get jealous when I go see movies with Luke, or go have dinner with Andrew, or go for a run with Steven.

But while he’s A-OK with me hanging out with other guys, it seems that no one else is. Especially my girl friends. Whenever I mention hanging out with other guys who are not my boyfriend, I get some really strange looks. Here’s how it usually goes down: Read More »

Men are tricky creatures. As much as we may wish we could read their minds, it just isn’t possible (yet… come on, science!). But don’t worry, I have discovered a trick to help us understand them a little more.

We all know guys that have picked up Cosmo from time-to-time (or have a monthly subscription) to help them figure out what their women are thinking. Hell, I bet a bunch of guys are reading CollegeCandy right now to try and figure something out about their girlfriends. Well ladies, we can do the same thing! Taking a peek at the kind of dating and relationship advice guys are being fed is a great way to get into the mind of a dude and see why he acts the way he does. Every Wednesday I’ll be doing just that. Hopefully, this will explain a few things…

This Week’s Article: Her Best Friend Is A Guy by askmen.com.

As someone who has a lot of close platonic male friends in her life, this article particularly irked me. And by “irked,” I mean “pissed me the hell off.”

The boys (they are not men) over at AskMen refuses to believe that a male and female can truly ever be good friends. As they say, “we’re operating under the assumption that heterosexual men and women cannot be best friends; sex always gets in the way.” I know many people may believe this, but I am living testament to the fact that it is not true. I would never dream of sleeping with my best guy friends, who I absolutely adore, and I know they feel the same way about me. In fact, the mere thought of it all makes me puke in my mouth a little.

Moving on… Read More »

When I was a freshman I was fortunate to meet my best friends in the world right there in my hall. We were all randomly placed there, but it took no time to realize that fate had put us there together. The 8 of us hit it off immediately and began spending every moment together.

As we went through our 4 years of college and all of the experiences that come with it, we turned to one another for advice, feedback and any information the others might have to shed light on our situation. And yes, to this day, that includes the juicy details of our late-night (or midafternoon!) exploits.

As soon as a guy would leave the room, my best friends and I would gather to dish it all out. Every. last. bit. From the quality of the hookup to the size of his….friend….. we’d let it all out. I knew everything (and I mean everything) that went on between my friends and their boys between the sheets. More than those boys would ever want to know about.

But after a particularly juicy recap recently I started to wonder if guys do the same thing. Do guys sit around and give a play by play (or blow by blow….) of their late night trysts? I know they like to add the notches to their bedposts, but do they share the deets like my friends do? I asked a guy. Here’s the skinny: Read More »

The next day, Chuck and I went out to dinner after work, as we often did. This time, however, something was different: we were quiet, awkward even…not like our usual selves. The whole day had been a mess really–I didn’t think it was appropriate for us to be holding hands or kissing in front of our co-workers, so instead we had avoided each other like the plague. Flirting, which had previously come naturally to us, seemed inappropriate, as though at any moment someone would figure us out.

After dinner we kissed quickly and went our separate ways. Ugh.

I went back to our mutual friend for some back-up. “What the hell is going on? I thought Chuck liked me!”

“Do you like him?”

“Um. Of course I do! He is the nicest boy I’ve ever met, and he always treats me so well.”

“Maybe you only like him because he likes you.”

OK, fine, maybe part of the appeal was knowing I wouldn’t be rejected, but when I thought about it long and hard, I really cared about Chuck, and I wanted him to be happy.

“Do you think maybe you kissed him because you knew it meant so much to him?” Read More »

We all know him. We all have one: the best guy friend who secretly has a crush on you, and has always had a crush on you, but has sat idly by while you date total assholes. He’s there when you get your heart broken, and he never takes advantage of your vulnerability.

Then, in the movies, you wake up one day and realize that he’s the perfect guy, and that you are madly in love with him. You tell him, preferably outside when it’s raining, and you both live happily ever after.

If only.

The summer after my Freshman year, I was working your typical slave-labor job and licking my wounds after breaking up with my first real boyfriend. To comfort myself, I started dating this total asshole; he didn’t really care about me, but loved leading me on.

My best friend from work, lets call him Chuck, tried to give me advice on the situation, since I always seemed to be upset. “We got in a huge fight last night, and he kicked me out of his car!” I would whine, and he would tell me I was too good for that guy, that I should just move on.

It was obvious to everyone (besides me, of course) that Chuck was falling for me big time, and every time I talked to him about my asshole rebound boy, I was just making things worse. I was clueless. Read More »

While I was prepping for job interviews in undergrad, stressed beyond coherence, my guy friends’ consistent argument was that I should just land a sugar daddy and stop being such an agist. If that didn’t work out, though, I should somehow support a trophy husband and show the world what feminism was all about.

Truthfully, I would be lost without my guy friends. I actually probably wouldn’t have found my way home from the bar some nights without their assistance, but mostly they help to keep me from taking myself too seriously. I lived with some of my favorite guys senior year of college, and after tearfully moving out, I wondered how I could live without them being just downstairs. Read More »