Despite what Taylor Swift might sing.

Let’s not be blinded by St. Valentine himself. A few secret admirers are sprouting up these days and chocolates may end up in my mailbox on the 14^th of February, but I want to focus on the other 364 calendar days. Where did dinner at a nice restaurant go? Why are guys no longer lending a sweater when my arms get chilly? How come the term “first date” is becoming just as out-of-date as the Spice Girls’ famous “girl power” slogan?

Let’s face it: Chivalry is dead on college campuses. Feel free to send flowers because a guy is not about to.  The love letters that used to bear hearts and souls have been replaced by 140 character text messages. That first date is more likely to involve a grungy couch at 2a.m., not a romantically lit table for two. Gone are the days of sweaty palms and Cupid’s arrows. These days college courtship revolves around Facebook “pokes” and the highly anticipated changing of the status from “single” to “in a relationship”.

I hear tales all the time from my parents and extended family that involve sweet little love stories laced with flowers left on the doorstep and first dates where a guy actually met the parents. And he picked the girl up. And he actually took her somewhere that didn’t include Solo cups and a $5 cover charge.

Crazy, I know.

Guys are the first to be blamed and we girls are pretty merciless when it comes to pointing fingers on this topic. They are the ones who are “supposed” to ask the girls out on dates, pick up the tab and call for a second date. But speaking as a female, I know I am guilty of delivering a disgusted sigh at the thought of being put on a pedestal and treated like a damsel in distress. We are in an age of independence and the defenseless Rapunzel role doesn’t really help us out anymore.

Let’s face it: Both sexes are at fault here. And because of this look at what we are left with.

Scenes from “The Notebook” and “Titanic” are inching away from the category of classic romance and becoming more like mythology with each interaction. We have handed over the first few steps of courting to our T9 texting and Facebook accounts. We have settled for expressing those first few feelings over a screen rather than ever having the “relationship talk” face-to-face. We have smacked a smile on our faces over invites to theme parties and to free drinks at the bar. Some may call this a modernized form of chivalry but I just see it as ridiculous.

I want those old days back. I want to believe there is someone out there who will walk me back to my dorm room instead of inviting me back to his for the night. I would love the chance to actually talk to someone in a quiet setting instead of amidst the chugging of cheap beer.

Guys, would it ruin your reputation to take us out on one dinner date and learn our favorite color?
Girls, will our independence be critically bruised if we accept a pedestal for once and simply allow a guy to flatter us?

We need to meet somewhere in the middle. Until that crossroad comes, I will hold tightly to a thin strand of hope; maybe, just maybe, chivalry is not dead.

But it’s definitely in a deep coma.

So last week while talking to my male friend about red flags that send guys running, he touched on girls being crazy bitches. Because that is what all men say: they don’t like girls who are crazy bitches. I personally believe that guys think every girl is a crazy bitch (they throw the term and judgement around so easily), so I wanted to find out what this guy considered crazy.

Please note: I went a little crazy talking to him, so I apologize if I ruined it for the rest of you. I take full responsibility for my actions and am going to let all men know that I do not represent our entire gender. And, boys, I’m normally cool as a cucumber – when I’m medicated with caffiene and chocolate – so don’t run!

I don’t know if it was my tumultuous history with men that got me so emotional, or simply the pain of knowing that Matthew McConaughey will never be mine, but that movie gets me every time. And while I know that Kate Hudson’s character goes way over the top to push her man away, I really couldn’t stop wondering what kinds of things really send dudes running for the hills.

It is obvious I am doing something wrong – guys have been running away from me since we started playing playground tag in middle school. And now the game has long since been over, but I still can’t hold a man down…without the aid of handcuffs. But, let’s be real, that’s a whole different conversation.

I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting home alone with a chick flick for one more night so I turned to a guy to give me the answers: just what are ladies doing to send the boys packing?

We all know that women tend to be a little more emotional than men, but when it comes to break ups, shouldn’t everyone be a little hurt? Shouldn’t both parties be at least a little emotional?

Why then does it always seem like the guys are moving on so much faster? While we sit home and watch sad movies and listen to sad music as our friends force feed us, our guys are out at the bar with their friends picking up chicks and having a grand ole’ time.

How can they get over it so quickly? Are girls – even serious girlfriends – that disposable and easy to move on from? I asked one of my boys for the lowdown. His perspective may not make you feel better, but it does explain a lot.