Fact: There is nothing more intimate than having sex with another person. After all, you’re completely naked and vulnerable, and everything is out in plain sight. So unless you’re that old, beer-bellied guy that is always alone and naked at the nude beach, that level of intimacy is going to make you a little nervous.

And then there’s the whole “performance” aspect (Are you doing it right? Does it feel right? Is that face sexy or creepy?), which gets enhanced ten-fold when oral sex is involved. Oral is pretty uncomfortable for everyone (mentally, hopefully not physically), but can get extremely nerve-wracking for most women. I get it; who wouldn’t be self conscious and wonder what her guy is thinking when he is up close and personal with her most private of areas? But all that thinking can really ruin a marvelous experience, and what’s the point of us putting in all that work if you’re not going to enjoy it?

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As college students, we endure challenging classes like calculus, metaphysics and organic chemistry. However, what may be the most challenging subject isn’t even an actual course: the art of trying to understand guys. It’s true, trying to get to the bottom of what’s going on in the male brain can be one of the most confusing, exhausting and emotionally trying tasks that we attempt on a regular basis. The truth of the matter is guys find us just as confusing as we find them, and we won’t likely ever fully understand one another. GuySpeak, however, is helping us move one step closer towards understanding the other sex.

GuySpeak is an online portal where women can ask real guys for answers to their most confusing, intimate, and embarrassing relationship questions. GuySpeak offers up a six different male voices, each with their own unique point of view: Funny Guy, Chic Geek, Wise Ass, Reformed Player, Wise-ass and the Mystery Man.

Have a burning question you want answered? Just head to the site and click on”Ask a Question.” From there, type your question and choose a guy to ask it to. You can add your name, if you wish, or you may choose to leave it anonymous (if it’s especially embarrassing). Then just click “send” and wait for your answer!

And GuySpeak isn’t just for answering your questions about guy behavior (although about 90% of the questions on there are). Sometimes, you just need a guy’s point of view on something, whether it’s what to wear on an interview or what movie you should go see — whatever’s on your mind!

So the next time you have a question that only a guy can answer and there’s none around to ask directly, give GuySpeak a try!

It’s happened to the best of us. We go on two or three seemingly perfect dates with the guy we’ve been obsessing over for the longest time, and then…nothing. No phone call, no texts, no anything! All communication ceases, and we’re left wondering what the hell happened? Automatically we switch into it-must-be-my-fault mode. “Was there something in my teeth?” “Maybe he didn’t like what I was wearing?” “Is it because I ate like a slob at dinner?” “Am I a bad kisser?”

Then we turn to our best friend for advice, and of course she proceeds to ask you the very same questions you asked yourself. As the cycle of self-incrimination continues, we realize we’ve taken the guessing game way too far, far to a point where we almost don’t even remember what the guy in question even looks like anymore.

Then one day, I got sick and tired of the blame game and decided to come up with my own reasons for why guys don’t call us back.

1. You know what they say, girls mature faster than guys do. So in this case, he prematurely assumed that I was looking for a wedding ring and an indefinite life commitment that sent him running scared.

2. He’s a jerk.

Okay so maybe my list is a bit premature. This guy seems to have all the answers though! He’s a dating and relationship coach who has finally revealed all the reasons why guys fall flat on the communication tip. With all of us girls playing Guesstures all the time, it’s refreshing to hear what a guy has to say about why they won’t call back. Read his thoughts here.

It’s 8 o’clock on a Friday night. While the majority of campus males are chugging beers and pulling dirty t-shirts out of the hamper, most of us girls are raiding our roommates’ wardrobes.  We’re primping in front of the mirror, doing our hair, applying our make-up, choosing that perfect outfit that will make us appear sexy, but in a “I-don’t try too hard” kind of way.

Then comes the finishing touches: the shoes.

We dig through our closets to find the perfect pair that will compliment our outfits. Having to walk across campus to get to the party, you would think that our eyes would lead us straight to the comfy flats.  But of course this is never the case. We want to make a statement, so instead we choose the high-heeled pumps that may leave us blistered and bruised, but hey, they’re cute. So we limp to the party while cursing our footwear choice. Determined to make the night a success, we dance with the guy who sits behind us in bio. Our toes may feel as if we’re two-stepping on glass, but hey, he’s cute.

After 3 ½ years of college, and many nights like this, I have come to the conclusion that guys are like shoes: we always want the cute ones even though we know they will probably end up hurting us in the end.

Think about it…

So we all know that lately pop culture has been a little bit obsessed with vampires. True Blood. Twilight. The Vampire Diaries. It’s everywhere we look and a part of everything we do. But we’re not just obsessed with vampires. We’re obsessed with vampire boyfriends. Edward Cullen in particular. An as someone who spends way too much time in the fictional world I have to step back, and ask…really? I mean come on!

Edward Cullen is not the best fictional boyfriend out there. He’s obsessive, overbearing, and would find great satisfaction in tearing open his girlfriend’s veins and drinking her blood. This is the guy that makes you swoon? Well not me. He’s not my idea of the best fictional boyfriend out there. He’s not even close. Who is, you ask? Well I’ve compiled a list to answer just that question (and put off any of the more important tasks I have yet to accomplish today). Below are my top ten fictional boyfriends, all of whom are real flesh and blood, albeit fictional, men that don’t sparkle in the sunlight.

10. Mike Chang. You know, Tina’s boyfriend from Glee. Not only is he a football player but he has swoon worthy dance moves and even swoon worthier abs.

9. Flynn Rider. The last Disney prince. The one from Tangled. Yes I’ve seen Tangled. What’ is it to you? A little sarcastic, a little funny, and very much the reluctant hero. He’s definitely not as boring as the Disney princes before him and so for that reason alone he makes the list.

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

With three words I’ve probably caused every single reader to groan in frustration. You’re probably trying to forget this day exists, aren’t you? Trying to pretend this is just a normal Monday.

Well it’s not. Today is Valentine’s Day. And single or coupled, or complicated, Valentine’s Day is a day worth celebrating. (Hello, we spent an entire week trying to get that point across!) You cannot escape the mayhem that surrounds this day. You cannot ignore it. You cannot hide from it. So you might as well embrace it. And here’s why…

10. Those valentines you used to get as a little kid. You know what I’m talking about. You probably have a whole bunch of them saved somewhere. The ones that have your favorite cartoon characters on them. The ones with too much lace and cheesy sayings. The ones you loved then and still love now.

9. Chocolate. Not only is it delicious, but apparently it’s also good for you. And Valentine’s Day is one of very few holidays when you can eat an entire box of chocolate truffles without getting strange looks, whether you bought them for yourself or they’re a gift from your beau. Read More »

Beer Goggles. Unfortunately, anyone who’s ever gone to bed with Justin Timberlake and woken up next to Jesse Eisenberg knows the curse of beer goggles all to well. But did you know that we’re not the only ones who sport them as our number one accessory on a Saturday night? Yeah, turns out, guys are falling victim to their powers of evil, too…

When it comes to themselves.

Yup, a study has surfaced that shows that the drunker a guy gets, the sexier he thinks he is. And after reading the results of this study, I have to say, it all makes perfect sense. Just think about the last time you were around a group of drunk dudes; (Wait…this morning? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?) I’m sure you noticed them all getting a little more…er…comfortable with themselves as the night went on.

Too drunk to pay attention? Don’t worry, I’ve got a handy little guide to help you understand just how thick those goggles are:

0 drinks: The guy causally bumps into you and catches your eye when you turn around. An adorably natural smile ensues.

1-2 drinks: As you shove through the crowd to order a round of drinks for your girls, the guy gives you the “eye” across from the bar. And holds it. A little too long.

2-3 drinks: The guy saddles up next to the bar, arms casually splayed behind him. As anyone with ladyparts gets anywhere near him, he puffs out his chest, introduces himself, then throws out every Anchorman quote he knows.

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What’s the deal, Glamour? Is it “your thing” to make all the beautiful women you snag for your covers look stilted, crazy, and/or completely confused? Kim Kardashian is no exception and, truth be told, it took me about 5 minutes of staring at this magazine to even realize it was her. Home girl looks like she just had all of her Louboutins confiscated. Not a good look. (Though I am completely swooning over that La Perla bra and pajama set. SWOON.)

I was stoked to read this month’s issue because, as the cover so loudly proclaims, it’s all about sex, love, and guys, so I knew that this was bound to be a big old hot mess. And Glamour did not disappoint. A solid 90 percent of this whole issue is about what guys think…of everything. Of sex. Of makeup. Of hairstyles. Of relationships. I mean, seriously, can women do anything without thinking about what a man’s opinion is? Honestly, I don’t give a fig what my boyfriend thinks of how I wear my hair, and I don’t think any other woman should either. Sure, receiving lusty gazes from dudes is fun, but it’s even more fun when it happens on your terms, not because you read in a lame magazine that dudes like every single other kind of hairstyle except for the one that you feel sexiest rocking.

However, since Glamour was kind enough to present me with tons of mockable male opinions, it seems only courteous that I tear them apart offer my opinion. Read More »

The following is a guest post by professional funny man and CollegeCandy friend, Aaron Karo. Read, laugh, learn a few things.

I’m often referred to as a “guy’s guy.” I like drinking and sports and hanging with the fellas. My third book, which is about being single when all your friends are couples, is entitled I’m Having More Fun Than You and features me on the cover with five models. This Friday, November 19th, Comedy Central is premiering my first one-hour stand-up special, AARON KARO: THE REST IS HISTORY (with an album by the same name dropping November 20th). My show is all about the glory of bachelorhood and sleeping around. You know, guy stuff. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret: the majority of my fans are female.

That’s right, roughly 65-70% of my audience members and mailing list subscribers are girls. Why? Because I tell it like it is. I don’t pull punches. I reveal what’s really going on inside the pea-size brain of the common man. And so that’s what I’m going to do today: drop a little knowledge for you, the very lovely readers of CollegeCandy. Here’s what’s gonna happen. First, read my Top Ten Misconceptions About Guys. Then, watch my Comedy Central Special (November 19th) and buy my album (November 20th). After all that, you’ll be prepared for anything. Here we go…

Top Ten Misconceptions About Guys, by Aaron Karo

1. We’re beer experts.
You know when you walk into one of those bars that has, like, six hundred beers on tap and your boyfriend squints his eyes while he reviews them all and nods knowingly as the bartender rattles of a list of vaguely German-sounding ales until he confidently choose one? He has no f**king clue what he’s talking about. He’s just trying to impress you and hopes what he picked tastes like Coors Light.

2. We’re knowledgeable about your menstrual cycle.
In order to fend off his advances, a girl once told my buddy she had her period three different times within a month. It actually worked. Read More »

Who the hell is "Mikey Hot Pants"?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in college, it’s that half of the contacts in my phone are people I don’t know. I may have known them for the length of a drink or a line outside my favorite bar, but memory fades with last call.

In any case, what makes the randoms in my phone stand out is how they’re entered as a contact… affectionately re-named, if you will.

We all do it, and I really do lament my memory slipping, but as I was going through my contacts list the other day, I couldn’t help but crack up at some of the best names I found in my phone. After which I was reminded of some of the better names and numbers taken down by some of my friends.

With no further ado, the best contacts I completely forgot about, and you likely have in your phone too: Read More »