My Vagina Is Closed For Business.

So I got the first shot for the HPV vaccine the other day. I don’t really mind the gyno…except for when they ask you those amazingly awkward and uncomfortable questions face-to-face (i.e. “how many partners have you had? and “Have you ever given or received oral sex?”).

I mean, on the scale of slutty-ness, I’d have to say my ranking is very low…but for some reason, after being quizzed on my sexual past I’m always left feeling like a $2 hooker that hangs out on 42nd street.

The HPV vaccine seems too good to be true and yes, it only protects you from four strains of HPV (and there’s about 100) but I say that four is still better than zero, no? Anyway, they make you “talk” to the gynecologist before you get the first shot to make sure you’re a good candidate for the vaccine (must be 26 or younger, etc.).

The gyno asked me “when was the last time you were tested for AIDS and STD’s?”

Me: “About eight months ago”

Gyno: “No new partners since then?”

Me: “Err….ummm…no. I guess not…” Read More »