College Candy

Every year, I make New Year’s resolutions: “Get in shape,” “be more outgoing” and “don’t get arrested for drugging the neighbors’ neurotic Schnauzer.” And every year, they fall apart. I can never begin with plan and arrive at completion – I’m always stuck in a constant cycle of process, sort of like running on a treadmill, except that running on a treadmill sounds like one of those resolutions I won’t be able to stick to. So let’s say it’s like being stuck in a vat of macaroni and cheese. Yum!

So this year, I’m making a New Year’s resolution to complete my entire list of New Year’s resolutions. And this means that I’ll either have to drastically improve my self-control, dedication and work ethic – not on the list – or I’ll have to drastically lower my expectations. Resolution #0 is to avoid anything that sounds like work, so here goes: the list of resolutions I know I can pull off.

Resolution #1: Stand around inside a gym regularly

I can’t understand why people think this one’s so hard – going to the gym, I’ve discovered, is easy; as long as I don’t hit a deer on the way, I can get there about nine out of ten attempts. And I’ve developed plenty of useful exercises to fill out an hour-long cardio workout: pressing buttons on the treadmill, switching my iPod playlist, going to the water fountain and estimating how many of me would fit in that guy’s biceps. I’ve planned a pretty good mat routine, too, but I don’t think I’ll be able to handle either the push-up or the modified (”girl”) push-up. Instead, I’ve developed the “modified girl push-up,” which is where I watch girls do push-ups. Read More »

Boy cuts are all the rage…at least for Scientologists. First Katie Holmes chopped her locks and then Posh Spice followed suit. The new ‘do is rather hard to pull off, but both of these ladies are looking mighty glam with the drastic cut.

But which one does it better?

On my list of all-time most annoying things in the entire world, having long hair ranks right up there with people who purposely screech their fingernails on chalkboards and drivers who cut you off and then give you the finger.

I don’t mind long hair on other people (especially guys, ‘cuz that’s hot). I mind long hair on me. My hair is so unimaginably thick that any significant length just makes it fall flat and stick to my skull. I once tried to get a perm, but my hair was flat again within an hour. How screwed up is that?

Plus, I’m a low-maintenance kind of girl, and I just don’t have the patience for long hair. It takes forever to shampoo and condition, and brushing it in the morning takes 30 seconds that I could really spend doing something else (sadly, I’m serious).

So since about the age of 12, I’ve never had hair longer than shoulder-length. Too much work! I’ve known about Locks of Love for a while, but I just figured I’d never have hair long enough to be able to donate.

Locks of Love, for those of you not familiar with it, is a charity organization that uses hair donations to fashion cool hairpieces for children who are bald or losing their hair for a variety of medical reasons. It’s a great cause, and the kids really appreciate the hairpieces.

Unfortunately, you have to chop off at least 10 full inches of hair to donate. You can have layered hair with 10 inches being the length of the longest layer, but still, that’s a lot of hair.

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I was never really attached to my hair until I spent three years growing it out and discovered how amazing long hair can be. It’s versatile, insulating, attention-getting, and the perfect thing to hide behind when I want to take a quick nap in class.But, long hair demands a ton attention, guzzles shampoo and somehow becomes a receptacle for meals. The other week I almost had it when my eight inch ponytail got caught in a subway door. When your hair becomes hazardous to your health, it’s time to consider a cut.

Yesterday, I went and got my first (professional) haircut in six years. Yeah, no more dorm-room cuts from Celeste the hippie-hairdresser for me! I ponied up thirty bucks for this “trim,” and to my dismay, I ended up looking not like my old self — sans split ends, but resemling a local news anchorwoman. It’s pretty bad. My new, sculpted coif doesn’t exactly represent my personality and most definitely doesn’t go with my threadbare – and – holes themed wardrobe. Read More »

I’m not sure we need any more signs that Tom Cruise is officially off his rocker, but when I read this little tidbit, I had to pass it on. I don’t want to hate on Scientologists, but… alien souls in my being? Really? Tom Cruise going from hot fighter pilot to crazy tabloid staple? Something is certainly wrong here. And why, oh why give the crazy bug to baby Suri? This girl is going to have enough issues to begin with….

Turns out little baby Suri already has a weekly hair appointment. Now, maybe I’m just jealous since I can’t do this and have horrible roots down to my ears, but—she can’t have that much hair! I think it’s a toupee. Even stranger, says the tipster, is the fact that she is always naked and no one is allowed to speak in her presence.

Holy crazy people, Batman!

Read full story (and other interesting celeb goss) here.