Shopping for elementary school supplies was so much more fun – you got to stock up on your favorite Lisa Frank supplies and you begged your mom to buy you a few gel pens because everyone was using them.

This year, instead of making a quick pit-stop at Staples on the way to school and buying a few notebooks and black pens, why not bring some of that grade school excitement back with fun school supplies?

Remember how excited you were to use those gel pens to fill out worksheets in the first couple weeks of school? How cool it was to start a brand new notebook? Here are some funky school supplies that will make you want to head to class, take some notes, and do some hardcore studying. Or at least they will help you make friends by serving as a good conversation starter for the girl sitting next to you.

This stuff puts the “cool” back in school. Yeah…I went there.

Calculator – You will probably need to bring one of those nerdy graphing calculators to your Advanced Stats class, but why not buy one of those enormous & brightly colored calculators for when you just need to add, subtract, multiply, or divide? Math sucks, but bright pink makes everything better.

Staplers - The pink one is pretty (who doesn’t love sparkles?!) and the fist shaped one will bring some humor into the situation when you’re trying SO hard to smash that staple into your 12 page paper or 40 pages of reading that you had to print yourself.

Planner – You probably usually buy one of those cheap, boring planners that you throw away every year. Like that will motivate you to stay organized. Invest in a nice planner, preferably a leather one, that you can buy new inserts for each year. It is sturdier, cuter and will help you keep track of your crazy life!

Laptop Accessories – You’ll probably bring your laptop to class a lot because Solitaire definitely helps the time pass quicker (erm, I mean so you can take notes faster!). Just throwing it in your bag is definitely a bad idea; you don’t want it to get scratched, bumped or ruined when that bottle of Diet Coke explodes.

Protect that little guy with a case, just not one of those nerdy shoulder bags your parents will try to make you buy. This case is cute and functional, but if the dots are too much for you there are tons of cases out there in a variety of colors and designs. Check out the Apple store or Best Buy for a huge selection.

Also, a cute mouse isn’t a must, but how could you not love this fuzzy blue one?

Paper clips - Instead of plain silver ones, clip important papers together with hearts, circles, or these adorable little animals! A lot of craft/gift shops (Hallmark, for example) sell unique clips. Nothing makes a 30 page paper look better than a cute little pig.

Maybe by now you’re thinking, “OK, only a whack job would waste their money on this pointless crap,” but the whole point is to express yourself! Buy school supplies that are going to motivate you and express who you are. Maybe you’ll use them to bring some humor to that stressful study group, or as an icebreaker with the people sitting next to you in class. And if you already spent all your money on posters, you could always decorate your own stuff (if you’re into that kind of thing).

Good luck this year and happy back to school shopping!

This is not a weekend.

This is a Wednesday night.

It seems the time has come to prune some extraneous leaves on the branches of my social tree. My phonebook now includes some names to which I cannot even match the slightest hint of a face.

I have now reached the stage where I can answer the question, “So what are you up to tonight?” with, “Oh nothing,” and invariably end up somewhere loud at three in the morning stumbling into a dirty bathroom and incessantly repeating the line that never fails to impress: “I have work in the morning! I can’t believe that I am out doing this!”

Someone always calls at the last minute with something just a little too exciting for me to pass up and stay responsibly home on the couch. It’s rarely the same person two nights in a row.

I don’t even have time for myself anymore. My yoga DVD’s are gathering dust in front of the TV. My library books are a week overdue because I refuse to return then until I’ve finished reading them, but I just can’t seem to find a corner in my schedule to curl up with one. I’m too busy tossing clothes out of my closet getting ready to go to someone else’s birthday party.

My little black book is more like a little black binder by now.

The dishes are piling up in the sink. The clothes are piling up on the floor. My list of things to do is piling up in my mind.

It’s not that I don’t love to go out. I do. It’s not that I don’t love seeing these people. I do. The problem is that there are just too many people to see and so little time in which to see them. I don’t even think this is healthy anymore.

At which point do we just have too many friends? Acquaintances? What are we even calling them these days? You’d think with all the little booklets by Hallmark we’d know what a friend is by now.

And how to decide which “friends” to hang out with and which ones to let go of? Is it even moral to choose between people like that?

The upshot of all this is that if I ever need anything, I’ll be able to make more than one phone call.

I spent twenty five minutes in the greeting card aisle of CVS last night. I literally picked up and restocked every single card in the entire store before leaving in a frustrated huff with a card that was far from appropriate for the situation at hand.

It is not that the folks over at CVS don’t have a wide enough selection of cards – they have like 10,000! – it is just that there are some occasions that just don’t quite fit into the limited card categories that exist. Sometimes people may want to buy a card for something a little more specific than a generic birthday/thanks/anniversary/holiday/sympathy/etc/ card.

You know; like when you want to thank your guy for respecting you. Or a good friend for being there when you need her most. Or for a situation when you just can’t seem to find the right words.

When Hallmark can’t seem to get your point across clearly, someecards.com is the place to go. It is a one-stop shop for all your card-giving needs. And since it has so many fabulous and hilarious cards to look through, this site is also the perfect procrastination alternative to good ole Facebook.

But I would have wrongly insulted you, because Kevin is certainly turning out to be the best thing his kids can hope for.

A few days ago, K-Dawg began serving papers to a few close acquaintances of Britney, cousin Alli Sims being one of them. The horrible rapper’s lawyers claim many more “acquaintances” of Spears will be served, body guards and nannies most likely included.

After hearing the bad news, Britney went out and did what any certifiably insane person would do; cruised a drugstore for cheap candles and a $12.95 Hallmark gift book entitled “50 Truths Worth Knowing”.

Here’s a truth worth knowing for you, Brit. Salvation ain’t gonna come in mass produced volume of crap. Get outta the drugstore and into rehab before your lame ex-husband becomes less lame than you.