Everyone knows that the Halloween spirit isn’t just confined to October 31st – it’s more like an entire two-week span that culminates with a huge, costume-filled celebration. (Editor’s Note: Two weeks? I’ve been planning my costume since last November!) That being said, the best place to celebrate the earlier part of the world’s scariest holiday is… on the couch.

Major TV networks often dedicate time slots (or entire days) to Halloween-themed episodes, specials, and movies… and I love every scary second of it. True, the power players at Fox suck and deemed the World Series more important than Halloween (RUDE!), but even though the annual Simpsons Halloween extravaganza has been postponed to November, there are plenty of sweet Halloween events on TV.

Check below for some of the best Halloween celebrations that don’t require a costume (but may require an adult diaper): Read More »

I know that a lot of people like horror movies. I know this because a lot of people tell me they like horror movies, and also because Saw V is just about to hit theaters (the 5th installment of a plot that basically consists of scary machines and blood). There’s something about watching other humans scream in agony that a lot of people can’t get enough of — but I am not one of those people. I’ve never been one of those people. Since I came out of the womb, I have been scared to freaking death of horror movies.

Here are the Top 5 Reasons Why.

5) When Things Pop Out In An Attempt To Scare, I Always Get Scared

I know that it’s like, part of the fun, or whatever, when the music suddenly swells and a creepy things pop up all creepy, or someone is grabbed ,or a face appears in a mirror, but that sh*t gives me a heart attack every time. I lose my breath and my heart flips out and then I get really violently angry. Like I want to punch the TV for doing that to me. I get scared and then I get pissed and then my whole day is ruined.

4) Weird Noises Always Happen Afterwards

Whether I’m back at my childhood home, in a dorm, or at my apartment, after watching (or accidentally watching) a horror movie, weird noises will keep me awake all night. It never ceases to amaze me that it happens every single time. The wood creaks, my closet door won’t shut all the way, something scurries across the floor…my bedroom isn’t haunted until I watch a scary movie. Then it’s haunted. Totally, Ghostbusterly, haunted. Read More »