Halloween in college is a big deal.  Major, really.  You may have thought you hit your trick-or-treating peak in the 3^rd grade when you wrapped yourself in tinfoil and went out as leftovers, but think again.  Unlike Christmas, the 4^th of July, and Thanksgiving, everyone’s on campus for this most hallowed of evenings and the booze will absolutely be flowing (perhaps in cauldrons).

From fog machines to technicolor jello shots, there’s a lot of stimuli to process and as a freshman it’s easy to get overwhelmed.  But novice or otherwise, you’ve got to keep your head, wigged or otherwise, in the game.  Here’s what you can expect as your favorite bars and frat houses become unrecognizable with silly string…

A General Lack of Pants
From dozens of Risky Business-era Tom Cruises to sexy cats/bees/fairies/mice, there will be maximum leggage come October 31^st.  I’m not sure what it is about “everyone dress up crazy” that translates to things being purely pants-optional, but it’s a fact: ass cheeks will show, cellulite will be on parade, hairy man thighs will make a one-night-only appearance.

Dry Ice
Is it edible?  Will it kill you?  Why did those stupid pledges have to go stick it in the jungle juice and ruin a perfectly good concoction?  No, it doesn’t look like witches’ brew.  And the fact that he’s 22 and just drew that connection makes you question his sanity.

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I’ve talked about American Apparel before. Those ads that look like porn with bad lighting? Those models who may or may not be underage but who are definitely bored and affected?Well, it gets better.

A contributor for Jezebel (one of the funniest gossip sites out there) recently wrote about her experience working at the enigma that is A. Apparel, proving that it’s not just their ads that are pretensions and strange.

“I thought cocaine was kind of scandalous when I started working at American Apparel. And so I naturally found it kind of scandalous that a major coke dealer actually served as a kind of informal HR chief for many of the American Apparel stores in New York.” The Jezebel story begins, going on to explain about the monstrosity that is Dov Charney—the Canadian founder of A.A. Read More »