Or, that’s what I would be saying if I was a dude upon learning about rubbot.com and their plans to design a revolutionary new sex toy aimed at men.

Hands-free orgasms! It’s like having a girlfriend — minus the girl! Which, depending on who you ask, isn’t always a bad thing.

The design kind of reminds me of those water snakes I had as a kid. They fold into themselves and move very fluidly…much like…genitals? Perfect! This is called the “Inch Worm Effect” and is effective at getting dudes off. And fast.

The guys behind Rubbot are looking for beta-testers too! Know a guy who’s in a rut? Be a pal and send the info along…at least you won’t have to hear about he’s not getting any for awhile.

Now, I’m not here telling you girls about this miraculous invention because your boyfriend needs one (although if you want to buy one for the two of you…more power to you!). At the risk of sounding like a brain-dead sex obsessive, I just feel that, much like taking a look though your guy’s porn collection, it’s important to know what makes him happy when you’re not around.

So when you are? He’s a little more than happy.