I hate you, Jack Daniel.

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – yes, even that – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I don’t know if you’ll know this but I was wondering if you had any advice for curing a hangover? I always feel super crappy for days after a long night out and I don’t know what I can do to feel better. I drink a lot of water and try to get a lot of sleep but nothing helps!

You know bodies – do you have any ideas?

A: Oh, I hear you. We’ve all been there. Unfortunately, there is no magic home remedy (although I can tell you that hungover medical students have been known to hook themselves up to bags of IV fluid, which I’ve been told works wonders!).  To some degree, a hangover is just par for the course – one of those lessons the Universe likes to teach us to keep us out of trouble. But assuming the deed is done, what can you do to minimize your suffering? Here are a few tips: Read More »

College is full of trial and error. And sadly we find ourselves running into a lot more error than we desire. Being stood up by that guy who we thought was really into us rings a bell. As does spending an entire night and next morning (okay and maybe the afternoon too) puking our guts out.

Eventually, we get a hang of things, but it would’ve been really nice to have some basic knowledge under our belts before we started. And since we are so caring, and so pissed off that no one did it for us, we’ve decided to let the next generation of college girls in on some scared knowledge that will save them a lot of trouble, and in some cases embarrassment, come freshman year and beyond. Read More »

"WHY DIDN'T I SAVE THAT?!"

Did you know that college was all about academics?

Yeah, we didn’t get that memo either. We spent more time researching easy professors, building a schedule that didn’t require waking up before noon/at all on Fridays, and playing Kings, than actually studying. And now that we’re out of school and forced to use what we “learned” in college to survive, we’re kinda regretting opting for that easy American Culture class over a much more useful economics section.

Other big regrets: getting drunk before a giant presentation on St. Patrick’s Day, skipping discussion sections to snuggle with the BF, and taking that 1-credit “blow off” that actually had two 10-page papers and a final exam. Who knew one stupid credit could wreak such havoc on your GPA?

It’s obvious that most of us have made some poor decisions in college (and I’m not talking about the time I double fisted a fifth of Captain’s and a 2-liter of Diet Coke); it’s hard to think of academics, learning and our futures when there are football games to attend and beds to sleep in. This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their biggest academic regrets. Maybe you can learn from them. Maybe you can relate to them. And I know you definitely have some of your own to share. Read More »

It was a couple days after Christmas and my sister and I were at my parents’ cherished retirement pad in Florida. I was hungover and menstruating, so basically my mouth and vagina tasted like cat piss and pennies. We decided mimosas were in order… until I had a sip, remembered single handedly slamming a bottle of bubbly the night before and replaced the champagne with vodka. My mother came home two hours later, and was not happy that A. I had broken into her emergency alcohol supply (this actually exists) and B. that we had decided to get drunk before noon rather than returning/exchanging Christmas presents for her like we said we would three days in a row now.

The two man party kept going until 7 p.m., eight hours later, and somehow we convinced our dad to drive us to a local bar to watch a highly anticipated NFL game. In exchange, we would let him have our McFlurries that were in the freezer. (Also, true.)

The first thing I did when I walked into the bar was buy a waitress’ entire tray of Jell-O shots. The following things also happened at the bar that night: My sister, 21, made out with a 60 year old bartender for a free bag of Jay’s potato chips, I face planted in front of a young family having dinner and the mother says to her daughter “do not talk to that woman”, and as my father pulls in to pick us up I have my pants around my ankles (definitely on the rag), pissing in the parking lot terrace and using the hands of two old geezers to balance myself. (Apparently I had called my dad to tell him he couldn’t eat my McFlurry afterall and spoke like “someone had stapled my tongue to my chin” therefore, he felt compelled to come get us. A**hole.). Meanwhile, my sister is sitting Indian style in a handicap parking spot across from a child who couldn’t be older than twelve, ripping menthol cigarettes and telling him about the Christmas presents she got. Read More »

Mmmm. Irish Coffee should fix this right up!

It’s no secret that much of the college social life revolves around drinking. We drink to celebrate, mourn, express loyalty to our football teams, to ease boredom, hell,  some people drink to make homework a little more interesting (no, no one else does that?).  Well, all that super fun drinking  sometimes results in not-so-fun consequences: mysterious bruises, ruined shoes, hours’ worth of un-tagging on Facebook, that dude lying next to you, and the raging, horrific hangover trying to escape your brain by splitting it open.

What’s a girl to do? Your mind jumps to Gatorade (don’t have any), Egg McMuffins (dammit, it’s past 10:30!) and water (your Brita pitcher is full of hunch punch) before remembering that bottle of Bloody Mary mix in the back of the fridge. Should you suck it up, stir in some vodka and take a hair of the dog that bit you?

Nope. Read More »

I have been in a relationship for an undisclosed amount of years. It began way before college and I am entering my senior year, so you do the math. The point is: my sloppy nights have never resulted in a stranger’s face in my bed the next morning. Lucky? Probably. Boring? Maybe to some people. Safe? Most def.

I have never dealt with a disease scare or the overall fright that comes with waking up in an unfamiliar location with someone you never remember meeting. That’s not to say that I haven’t had my share of embarrassing moments. Or mornings when I looked in the mirror and asked, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Only a recent graduate of the underage club, the majority of my nights out have consisted of shimmying up my skirt to woo a bouncer, or settling for a dive bar in the middle of nowhere. On this particular night, I believe it was a Tuesday – a night when I shouldn’t have been out in the first place since I had class the next morning -  the former had not worked out and so we ended up at the latter, which in this case was a very tiny, very sketchy, Mexican food place on the Lower East Side. Read More »

Every week I write a weekly top ten list (what up, Letterman?) about the hard hitting issues. The tough. The real deal. You know, like stupid celebrities and things that piss me off on Facebook. But this week I want to take things to another level.

For the past four weeks I have stopped drinking. Like, completely. I know – scary. Especially for a girl like me who loves to pair a drink with every time of the day. 9:30 AM? Bloody Mary. 11:45 AM? Margarita. 12:00 PM? Vodka Cran. 1:30 PM? Harpoon Summer Ale. 6:00 PM? Dirty Martini. Make that porn star dirty. You get the picture. I am definitely no lightweight.

But, several weeks ago after a rough night at an infamous Times Square watering home, which may or may not have involved shots of tequila…that I drank while dancing on the bar… I decided to slam on the brakes until my birthday (September 28th. Feel free to send presents), which totals over two months of stone cold sobriety.

This decision has sparked a lot of controversy, but I’ve remained strong and haven’t slipped up once. When I commit, I commit all the way. I still go out to the bar at least twice a week and, yes, still have a phenomenal time. This month has made me realize one very important thing that not many college students realize:

Sobriety is nice.
And here are a few (well, 10) of the things I love: Read More »

I don’t really say this all the time, but, seriously, TGI-freakin’-F!

School is slowly creeping up and I’m planning on enjoying every single weekend until I’m back on library lockdown. This week has been full of stupid back to school stuff. Well, most of it was stupid. I did thoroughly enjoy using my creative genius to play interior decorator for my new dorm room, and Momma finally decided it was time for her baby to get a new computer, since my current P.O.S likes to make weird noises and shut down at its own leisure.

But other than that…mostly stupid stuff.

I’m actually kinda looking forward to school this year. It’s time to tell that stupid summer crush buh-bye (he prolly learned about dating on here), and jump into school single and ready to mingle! I do love summer, but there is something about the first week back that has me super excited!  Mostly that first weekend when me and the girls make our grand debut and meet all the eligible hotties (and some less than desirable men that will inevitably the topic o’ convo during the next morning’s…er…afternoon’s breakfast). Ugh, I’m so excited I don’t even care about the inevitable hangover I’ll have for the first day of classes. Mostly because I have discovered the ultimate cure.

Yup, this year is gonna be a good one and I just want to get it started!
School, here. I. come.

I learned more my first week at college than I did in my entire life. And I don’t mean academically. I mean socially, financially, emotionally and drunk-ly. Some things took longer to figure out than others (that I should visit the ATM before I get to the bar, to avoid extra fees and my tendency to tipsily make it rain) and other things took mere minutes (don’t eat dining hall hot dogs).

But there are 5 things that every freshman should figure out their very first week on campus. Consider this College Life 101: Intro To The Best 4 Years of Your Life.

The go-to hangover breakfast spot: For those mornings when a Gatorade and toast just won’t do the trick, you need to find the most happening breakfast place near campus. This is not only important for the mornings when you need to take things to-go (back to your bed where you can lie in the dark while watching Daisy of Love marathons), but also for the social aspect of morning-after breakfast. Because everyone knows, after the party it’s the after party…and after that and the hotel lobby… it’s IHOP.

So, on those mornings when your inner monologue sounds like “Hahalalala definitely still drunk and my hair and makeup still look great!” you’ll know where you and your girls can go to re-cap last night’s madness while chowing on carby goodness and watching people walk in wearing their clothes from the night before. Read More »

Hangovers. Woof. I feel like every time my mom calls me at noon on a Sunday she gets the same response:

Mom: Hi Honey! How are you?
Me: Erghhhhhhhjbakbbllahhh what time is it?
Mom: (Loud sigh) …Melanie Joy. It’s 12 o’clock. It is beautiful outside. Are you seriously still asleep?
Me: No, no I’m fine. I’m awake.
Mom: Really?
Me: No. Call me back on Monday after work.
Click.

She must’ve gotten the hint because this Saturday when I stumbled out of bed at around 1:30 PM after a long night of $2 shots, beer pong and poor choices involving dancing on the bar to “Get Low” by Lil Jon, instead of a typical “U Awake?” text message or overly chipper voicemail as my wake up call, I had a package sitting on my counter. Sweet! I love care packages!

I ripped it open and found a large colorful box with “THE AMAZING BOX O BOX: The World’s Greatest Care Package!” emblazoned on the front. I tore the box open, anticipating cookies, sweaters and the typical stuff from home.

Not so much.
What was it? Detox-O-Box, the ultimate hangover cure. Hilarious, mom.

My irritation and pounding headache were overcome by my curiosity. I opened the box and I felt like I was opening the lost Ark.

The box was chock full of goodies! Here’s the rundown: Read More »