Ever since her role in Juno, I’ve had an unhealthy crush on Ellen Page.

While she’s not as mainstream as our past girl crushes, this doesn’t make her any less deserving of the title.  In fact, it makes me love her more. My fellow Canuck obviously has talent – she was, after all, nominated for an Oscar.  She may not have won, but she was the fourth youngest actress to be nominated for the role, and that in itself is pretty darn impressive.

And the movie was awesome. I don’t know one person who can say they saw Juno and didn’t fall instantly in love with it. Ellen played the main character perfectly and even showcased her vocal skills on the soundtrack, which is as good (if not better) than the movie. Sure, the movie sparked controversy – being all pro-teen pregnancy and all – but that’s not Ellen’s fault. Maybe people should teach their kids about sex before they let them watch movies like this. Or watch Bristol Palin on TV.

But I digress. Back to my love, Ellen Page.

Surprisingly, this isn’t the first or only movie Ellen has been in.  She totally kicked ass AND saved the day in X-Men: The Last Stand before she took on her dad’s new girlfriend while acing her SATs in Smart People.  She’s also been in Hard Candy, The Tracey Fragments, and An American Crime. Her next project is Whip-It, which is directed by Drew Barrymore. Two power girls on one project? Sounds like a winner to me.

While she may be an amazing actress, there are many other reasons why I love Ellen Page.  A self-proclaimed tomboy, Ellen usually plays it safe with basic-black on the red carpet. She’s not fashion forward, but that’s even more crush-worthy. If you’re forced to dress up when you’d rather be wearing a pair of Connies, why try and be a fashionista? She knows her style and she does it right.

Oh and did-you-know (say it fast 10x) she is hilarious? Ok, I guess everyone knows that. I mean, she was Juno. But she’s funny in real life too. And she makes it look so easy. Ellen’s just the kind of cool girl that you’d wanna kick back and have a beer (or 3) with. And I’m totally crushing.

Ellen, if you’re out there, call me! I’ll bring the guitar.

Fall is finally here, and that means the end of bathing suit season! What better way is there to celebrate than with chocolate? And caramel? And peanuts? And popcorn? Exactly–there isn’t.

So light some pumpkin scented candles, throw open your windows and kick off fall with some delicious, sinful goo-goo clusters, and smile smugly about the fact that you can guiltlessly eat three (or four) without worrying about string bikini jiggle.

You will need:

1 bag of classic caramel squares (not the hard candy)

3 Tbsp. butter

2 Tbsp. water

2 bags light butter microwave popcorn

1 cup peanuts, lightly salted

1 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

Cinnamon, to taste

Get Poppin’

1. Set your oven to 300 degrees.

2. In a large pot, heat caramel, butter and water on low to medium until melted, stirring occasionally, until smooth. The mixture will be smooth and drizzly (mmm) when it’s ready. Tip: peel all your caramels BEFORE you turn the stove on…I learned the hard way, and ended up with burnt caramel.

3. While your caramel melts, start popping your popcorn.

4. When caramel is melted, turn heat to low.

5. Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil. On it, combine your pop corn with the peanuts and chocolate chips. The chips will turn slightly gooey (in a completely delicious and mouthwatering way), so fight the urge to eat it all immediately.

6. Drizzle your caramel mixture over the entire mixture with a spoon, occasionally stirring the mixture to make sure it’s evenly coated.

7. Sprinkle the whole mixture with cinnamon, then pop the baking sheet into your oven (it should be done pre-heating) and set the timer for 15 minutes.

8. Your entire apartment, at this point, will smell like heaven, chocolate, magic, David Beckham’s pillow (at least what I think it smells like) and sweet, sweet caramel. I give you permission to peek in on your concoction every few minutes to make sure when it’s ready.

9. When the chocolate is evenly melted, take the sheet out of the oven. Make sure it’s totally cooled for about 10 minutes (agonizing, I know) then break into small clusters and spread out on another sheet of aluminum, or wax paper if you have it handy. Let it cool for about 5 more minutes.

And voila! You have perfect caramel popcorn goo-goo clusters to enjoy!

I figured this was a bad idea, so I meandered over to health and beauty, where I knew I could find something to occupy myself with. And then I saw it– a Smashbox Picture Perfect Kit with eyeshadow quad, mini lip gloss trio (with pink leather mirrored case!), mascara, and face highlighter– for $19.99!! The kit came with detailed instructions on how to apply the makeup, much like other cosmetics brands that are now taking the guesswork out of makeup application . I snatched it, threw it inconspicuously into Mom’s cart and tore it open as soon as we were in the car.

Opening up the new makeup kit felt exactly the same way it did that very first time. My Grandma (against my mother’s desperate pleas not to) bought me a GIANT pink and purple kit full of awful pink lipsticks, hooker-blue eye shadow, fake mascara, fucshia blush and glitter, glitter, sweet glitter when I was three. It was then that I fell in love with makeup. I put on all of my face decorations, just like mommy did, every day before I left my house. I sometimes had loaded my face so full of makeup that it couldn’t take anymore, and, consequently, I applied some to my helpless baby brother.

Which brings me to my point.

Baby bro is now 16, with a healthy thirst for revenge. So to let him get back at me, I’ve enlisted his help in testing the “anyone can be a makeup artist!” attitude that so many companies (Almay, Smashbox, Hard Candy) have adopted. The kits come with fool proof instructions that are pretty straightforward. I sacrifice my body in the name of science, to determine whether these How To quads give you enough bang for your buck, or if you’re better off buying a regular set and playing around with trial and error.

Step 1: Apply lightest shade from corner of inner eye to brow bone.

Brother took brow bone very literally; I ended up with very pale eyebrows. He also neglected “inner eye” completely.

Step 1 Modification: Sweep lightest shade from inner corner of your eye to just under your brow in an arch the length of your eyebrow.

Step 2: Apply neutral shade from crease to brow.

This phase went fairly smoothly, although little bro didn’t apply enough pressure, so you can’t really tell I’m wearing any.

Step 2 Modification: Apply neutral from lash line to just under your first color. I like to add this extra step as a base for my darker colors, it just makes them pop more.

Step 3: Apply Second darkest shade from lash line to just above crease.

Again, little bro got it right! He did give up on using brushes at this point, but he blended the sparkly coal color into the neutral very nicely.

Step 3 Modifications: Use an angled brush to apply just above and below your crease. The brush allows for more even color distribution, and skipping the extra layer on your lower lid will keep if from looking cakey.

Step 4: Apply the darkest color from your lash line to just under your crease.

Brother used verrry little of the dark color (I think this may be that male fear of too much makeup kicking in), but managed not to make me look like I got into a fight. There was a little excess powder underneath my eyes, making it look like I was more than ready for nap time.

Step 4 Modification: Use a precision brush to slowly layer your darkest shade. You can always add more, but if you go too dark, you’ll ruin all of your hard work by removing it. Apply the darkest colors only to the outer third of your eyelid, to keep your eyes from looking small. And if you do catch a few flakes underneath your eye, use a fan brush to gently sweep them away, or very lightly use a tissue to sweep ‘em away.

Final Result: Not bad! A 16 year old boy, I think I can safely say, is the most inexperienced you can get when it comes to makeup (although I can think of a few 20 year old girlfriends of mine who would argue…) And if he can follow those directions, I have faith that even the most make up challenged can follow the guidelines in these idiot proof makeup kits.

[Photos courtesy of Smashbox.com and Neutrogena.com]

Now, here’s the good news. Though they’re not easy to come by, great female characters do exist: tough, smart, funny, complicated women, who give normal girls something to shoot for, or at least allow us to indulge in some quality couch time without sacrificing our souls to the dark altar of the Chick Flick.

Here, a roundup of recent favorites.

4. Veronica Mars, Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars – the sharp, sarcastic teen detective at the center of the WB’s much-beloved (and cancelled) series by the same name – triumphed over her show’s painfully cute premise to become one of the best female characters in recent years, due in large part to a fantastic performance by Kristin Bell. The writing didn’t hurt, either; Veronica worked several startlingly dark cases, including her own date rape, but she was never portrayed as a victim, and the show’s witty, self-aware dialogue kept it from dissolving into melodrama.

3. Lee Holloway, Secretary

At first glance, a woman who lets her boss slap her around doesn’t seem like a feminist role model. As always, however, it’s the thought that counts. Lee Holloway likes to be slapped – a lot – and she won’t take no for an answer. At its heart, Secretary is a story about a girl coming to terms with her sexuality: as she enters into an S/M affair with her boss, a closeted and guilt-drenched sadist, Lee becomes ever more determined to get off in the way that suits her best, social conventions be damned. What’s not to admire in that?

2. Hayley Stark, Hard Candy

Female rage is taboo. Angry women – particularly angry women with power – threaten the existing social order so profoundly that they’re rarely tolerated in life, and almost never permitted to triumph in fiction. However, what with women being human and all, we do occasionally get a mite peeved, and many of us have a soft spot for girls who get away with murder.

For a demonstration, measure your friends’ reactions to Hayley’s gory revenge against her pedophile stalker in Hard Candy. Men, in my experience, tend to react with horror and thinly veiled pity. Women have a different reaction: a hard-edged smile, laughter, and a quietly muttered “oh, hell yeah.”

1. Starbuck, Battlestar Galactica

In the 1978 series Battlestar Galactica, Starbuck was a tough, reckless, cigar-chomping fighter pilot. In the updated remake (which enters its final season this year), Starbuck is a tough, reckless, cigar-chomping fighter pilot who also happens to be a girl. Therein lies the charm.

Kara Thrace breaks all of the unspoken rules about female characters in television. She drinks grown men under the table. She starts (and wins) fistfights. She hooks up with guys to blow off steam, and she does not stick around to cuddle. The best – and most subversive – thing about all of this is the fact that she’s never, ever defined, punished, or limited by her gender. In most shows, Starbuck would be a lone female trying to make it in a boys’ club. In Battlestar Galactica, the boys are in Starbuck’s club – and if they want to compete with her, they’ll have to catch up.

[Have any of your own favorite female characters? Let's hear 'em!]

However, animals and makeup do have a connection, and a very unfortunate and sick one at that, as animals continue to be used to test the makeup millions of us wear. And just as I say I love animals, yet I cannot resist coming home from a night of partying and scarfing down a Big Mac, I feel like such a hypocrite by stocking up on tons of makeup every month, knowing about all the animal testing that goes on behind the scenes.

Mollygood.com features a thought-provoking blog called “Breakup with Makeup” that shows actress Elisha Cuthbert, fresh-faced and makeup-free, to show that beauty is more than possible without a trace of cosmetics, all in the name of animal rights.

I think this is totally respectable, and although I was already a fan of Elisha (did you know she used to be on Are You Afraid of the Dark? – Midnight Society, hollaaaa) I like her even more now.

However, I don’t want to breakup with makeup, and I will never breakup with makeup. Ever!

I need makeup. A lot of us women need makeup. Hell, a lot of men seem to need it, too (as ridiculous as it may be). As superficial as it sounds, I think many of us would have a pretty tough time landing a guy, a job, a part in a play or top prize in a beauty contest if makeup wasn’t involved. Without loading it on in nasty layers and globs, makeup can be a nice confidence booster that I see nothing wrong with – with the exception of animal testing, that is.

Plus, not everyone looks like Elisha Cuthbert without it, and instead, looks like something along the lines of these celebs here. Yikes.

(Side note…as one blogger noted beneath Elisha’s pictures, doesn’t it look like she’s wearing very, very subtle makeup? Subtle, but still makeup, nonetheless.)

Anyway, I think the best solution, if you care as much about animals as I do, is to look into the issue of animal testing. There are many lines out there that don’t use animals and are still quality. Companies like Hard Candy and Urban Decay take part in LeapingBunny.org, a fabulous organization that ensures the non-usage of animal testing in their products.

Break up with your makeup altogether if you want to, or keep it hot and heavy; I’m gonna take the middle route and just cool things down a bit. We can definitely stay friends.