"Ok, so I'm on top. What do I do now!?"

Losing your virginity is huge. It’s been built up since the birds and the bees talk, and everyone you know gives you a different description of what it’s actually going to be like.

Grandma preaches about how she waited for marriage and how the only man she ever slept with was your grandfather, which kept her from getting those dirty diseases the youngsters are getting these days. Your parents just beg you to wait for college when you’re out of their house, and protect yourself so you aren’t bringing home their grandchildren on your winter break. Then there’s your slutty friend who boasted about how great it was and had all the boys following her through the halls of high school.

But when we sit down and look back on how it actually was when we decided to lose our virginity, it isn’t easily summed up into one simple tip or anecdote. It was more like a 30-minute (if you were one of the lucky ones) progression into womanhood.

After reading The Frisky’s perspective on the stages men go through when losing their virginity, I was not only enlightened (seriously, who knew guys thought so much?!), but it got me thinking of my own first time and the stages I went through as it was all goin’ down.

Perhaps you can relate… Read More »

Guys tell me all the time…

“You know, if you wanted to have sex, all you have to do is….go have it.”

Over the years, I have learned that these guys are telling me the truth. As a reasonably attractive female who works out and eats right and has a body to show for it, finding a guy to have sex with hasn’t ever really been tough. Throw in the fact that I’m more intelligent than a lot of girls I meet and definitely more laid back…and lets just say that the sex in my life should be plentiful. But it’s not.

A friend was asking me about this yesterday. He finally came to a conclusion:

“You know what? You just don’t give a f*ck. Cause if you gave a f*ck, you’d be having sex.”

And I realized, just like that, that he was right. I keep complaining about the fact that I’m not meeting guys who I want to be physical with, but lets face it, I’m probably not trying.

And if you’re a reasonably attractive and intelligent girl out there feeling a little unlucky with sex lately, the deal is probably the same for you. I hate to say it ladies, but guys don’t have a lot of standards about who they’ll sleep with. If you’re not getting laid, you probably just don’t want to — at least with the prospects you currently have.

He wants to do me.

He wants to do me not.

He wants to do me…

…Then never call again, do me, then tell all of his friends, do me, then flip out about my guy friends…the list goes on. If only the “He wants to do me” sentence could exist without the predictable post sex behavior, I would be living in a much more sexually satisfying world.

The problem with most guys who I have encountered is this: They really believe that if they have intercourse with a girl, she will flip out and suddenly be in love. Maybe all of the guys I know have simply given themselves too much credit because I’m always recycling the same kind of guy over and over again: Artsy and ARROGANT.

I suppose that, for me, there’s a degree of truth to this. But at the end of the day, I don’t want to be in love with anyone. Being in love is a shamefully painful experience to me, honestly. I’d rather be in the casual sex club…but the older I get..the harder it is to stay a member of that club. Read More »

I woke up this morning, came to work, started surfing the internet…and now I have a few very important questions:

Who is J.R. Rotem? (besides a second rate music producer)

Why is he having sex with Britney Spears? (other than for drugs or money)

And most importantly, how is Britney’s drug-addled, sleep deprived, mess of a body carrying a third child?

Call me harsh if you want, but this isn’t about talking trash for the hell of it.

This is straight up sad. Tragic. Infuriating.

Not only because Britney’s life is in shambles and she doesn’t seem to notice, but because when it all come down to it…the girl is not on this planet.

Had Britney not been the most popular girl on the planet 7 years ago, she’d be on Maury, crying her eyes out backstage while the crowd booed her and Maury assured her that he’d help her find the real father.

But here is where my ranting ends because when it comes to addicts and the people who enable them (ahem…Rotem…) there is no getting through to them. Read More »

As I write this I am sitting at my boyfriends house, hanging out with his roommates dog and watching Weeds onDemand while he is in class. I’m also wearing his sweatpants.

This wouldn’t be such an uncommon scenario if he didn’t live 1,000 miles away, if kissing him didn’t cost two hundred dollars and seeing him didn’t require vacation time.

But it does. And for that reason, the LDR (or the Long Distance Relationship) is a lot of work. And you have to work at it. While it is wonderful, the LDR sucks so you should be completely and totally sure its right for you. I don’t advocate them.

And we all know our guy blogger Andrew really doesn’t advise them.

In fact, I never imagined I would be in one. But we were right together and right for each other and I couldn’t imagine not being with him.

So, we’re together even when we aren’t together. Seeing each other every five weeks does not a relationship make, which is why even though we should be in our “honeymoon phase”, having sex and wanting to spend every moment together, we’re already having to work on the relationship.

The good folks at CNN also saw the problems that lie within the long distance relationship. In this article, they provided some good (if not a bit obvious) advice that help make the LDR work.

Communicate

Ugh, communication. Sometimes it sucks talking on the phone ALL the time. So many times I would rather just sit next to him and watch a movie rather than sitting on the phone talking to him about it. Despite the fact that I feel like we talk all the time (which I don’t really mind) it helps because I feel like I’m a part of his day-to-day life even if I’m not there every day. Just saying hi in the morning helps me make it through my day. Read More »

Starting college is arguably the best thing ever. So many new people, new classes, new ideas—it’s like an ocean of new things that you can’t wait to experience. It’s awesome.

But with all these new, exciting things, you are bound to get caught up in the fervor of college before you realize—FUCK, maybe I shouldn’t have done that. Fuck, I’ve screwed up. Fuck, I am sooo stupid.

Which is why, my dears, I am going to tell you all the things that made me drop the f-bomb time after time in hopes that perhaps you can learn from my many, many mistakes:

Don’t drink the punch. Read More »

When I was a virgin, and apparently a huge (and at that moment tipsy) bitch, I called one of my best friends a slut. And it wasn’t a friendly “Hey, Slut!” but more like “Hey, you’re kind of a slut.” Heinous, I know. But at that moment, in my pre-sex virginal delusion, I had no idea. No idea what it was like to have sex, to not find the right person, to experience something amazing and really want to try it again.

Of course, now I understand. I understand why she was so angry and why I was so out of line. Now that my number far exceeds hers (and it has for a while), I wonder what—besides my obvious sexual frustration—made me think I had any right to judge her number.

I know my friends could rightly call me a slut, and in a way they wouldn’t be wrong. I have done my fair share of sleeping around and I can’t deny it. The funny thing is, I judge, or have judged people on their own sexual statistics. Read More »