You know what talk I’m talking about. The one where your mom (or even worse, dad) sits you down and then doesn’t know what to say for about five minutes. So there’s this super awkward lead-in and in your 12-year-old mind you’re saying, “What the hell? I just want some chicken nuggets.” And then it hits you. Your mom is talking about sex. Your mom is talking about sex! To you! WTF. You just had your first sex ed class like, two months ago. You hardly even know what all of this means! Stop, Mom, just stop.

But she didn’t stop. You had to suffer through a stilted and shameful speech about the birds and the bees and how you should wait until you love someone and how sometimes you will have really strong feelings for another person but if you act on those feelings you will get pregnant. And die. Blah blah blah.

So after all of this terribleness, you most likely walked away and completely forgot everything that was said (if you even had the courtesy to listen in the first place.) Right? From what I remember, this moment was only a flicker in my early teenage years that was sufficiently awkward and then deftly ignored by all parties involved.

I mean, why do parents think that middle/high school kids are going to listen to ANYTHING they say? If this technique worked, 16 and Pregnant wouldn’t exist. But alas, it does, showing parents across the world that kids basically give “the talk” the finger and toss their v-cards at 14.

But I guess everyone has to get the talk at some point in their lives because it makes parents feel like they are doing their job. Even Bieber has a story to tell about this one. It’s just a part of growing up–without the talk, some kids might not even know about the magical world of sex in the first place, and how terrible would that be? Knowledge is power, mom and dad!

How did your mom or dad approach giving you “the talk?” Were you scarred for life afterwards? Was it the most awkward moment of your life? Tell us all the horrific details!

Me and my ex lying in bed discussing spring break.

He said, “So I’d be ok with not hooking up with anyone while I’m in the Bahamas. Would you hook up with anyone in South Carolina?”

I said, “Is that your way of asking me if we’re exclusive?”

He said, “Maybe.”

I said, “Ok then, we’re exclusive.”

And from then on, we were boyfriend/girlfriend.

Ok, so that was college — where your friends play just as vital a role in setting the status of your coupledom as you and your significant other do with their mocking “Oh you guys are totally a couple” or “where’s your boyyyyfriend” comments at which point you take a cue from them and give each other the appropriate title.

But in the real world, it seems this whole defining thing is much harder to do.

I’ve been dating this guy for over a month. We’ve hung out almost every Saturday night, talk a few nights a week, hook up sober and not only did he make us dinner reservations for V-Day without any discussion of it beforehand, but he had a dozen roses delivered to my apartment. (I know, so cute!)

If all of these things don’t signal he’s into me and considers us exclusive, then I don’t know what does.

However, I’m a girl, hence I don’t really like this gray area. I have this urge to establish that we’re a couple. And since I don’t want to seem too aggressive or pushy, I haven’t brought it up. But I can’t help but wonder and ask every one of my friends, when is the right time to have that conversation?

Should I wait another month? Should I wait for him to say something? Should wait til I’m nice and liquored up and blurt it out?

What’s your advice??