So if you’re like me, part of the fun of being a girl is getting all beautified and purtied up. I mean, beyond the fun that is playing with makeup, what’s the point of putting together a cute outfit if your skin looks dry, your hair looks flat and you smell like a thrift store?

Obviously, my all-time favorite one-stop-shop for all my beauty needs is Sephora. That place has it all… not to mention you can pop in there while you’re shopping and freshen up with their variety of samples. (Confession: sometimes I’ll make Sephora my last stop so I can use all their expensive makeup to get ready for the night!) The sad fact is, beauty products are muy expensive-o and can quickly add up.

Good thing Sephora has a nice stock of too-good-to-be-true goodies for under $20. Let the beautification begin!

Nothing says winter like peppermint hot cocoa and marshmallows, and this Philosophy set helps ya carry that smell around all day. And considering Philosophy’s usual prices, this is quite a steal! Holiday Bonus: The boys’ll find your scent irresistible.

I bought this set a few weeks ago and it’s totally perfect for beauty on-the-go. It comes with a gorgeous palette of eye shadow colors, a blush and 4 choices of lip gloss.  For under $20, you really can’t go wrong.

If there’s one guy out there who knows hair, it is Frederick Fekkai. He’s got tons of products to get your hair lookin’ its best and this spray is by far the most fun. It adds a nice golden shimmer to your hair that’s perfect for holiday parties and New Year’s Eve. Healthy, shiny hair? Yes please.

Perfume rollerballs are a great way to carry around a fragrance for those long days when you need to re-apply. (Like after that 100 question exam that left you sweatin’.)  I love this Stella McCartney scent, but they have a whole lot of options to choose from if Stella isn’t your girl.

Everyday essentials by Bare Escentuals? That are 100% natural? That will make you look perfect without making you break out? I can’t think of anything more heavenly.

If you’re a big Diet Coke/coffee drinker, these Go Smile Touch Up sticks are for you. You just pop one open and it will freshen your breath (because coffee breath is rank) and prevent stains from forming on those pearly whites (because yellow teeth are ranker…)

Bliss creams are. the. best. OMG. I can’t say it enough. This stuff rocks. It smells good, it absorbs quickly, it keeps your hands soft and it’s small enough to fit in your bag.

And for those days when you’re surrounded by snow, stuck in the library and all you can think about is a tropical vacation, try this lovely scent. It’ll take you to Hawaii…for under $20.

One more thing: If you aren’t already a member, be sure to sign up for the Sephora Insider Pass. It’s a free club that gives you points with every purchase and sends you awesome perks (like free $15 gift cards, birthday gifts and more). Yay, Sephora!

Ok, now correct me if I’m wrong, but Brody did come out of his hotel room in Hawaii and tell all the boys that he cheated on Jayde, right? (And what the hell kind of stripper name is Jayde, really?!) Does Brody consider sitting up all night talking about his GF with another girl cheating or was he just trying to impress his friends by telling them that he cheated?

Because this week we learn that he didn’t hook up with Audrina at all and they just slept – yes, slept – in the same bed. Being an adult woman, I do consider that inappropriate for someone in a relationship, but I wouldn’t call that cheating. And if it were my boyfriend, I wouldn’t get my trashy, Playmate entourage to stick their fake press-on nails in that poor girl’s face.

It’s not that big a deal. And my friends don’t wear fake nails.

I felt really bad for Audrina. Yes, it seems like girls in L.A. don’t understand the boundaries of liking men who are committed to someone else (See: Stacie…. if you consider Spencer to be a man), but Brody totally led that girl on. And then left her out to dry as his tranny-looking GF attacked her. I swear, if Audrina stuck around a little longer Jayde was gonna knock her out with the empty Jager bottle.

If Jayde was really so mad, she should take a break from Brody. But no – she can’t do that. Her career already peaked when she got naked for Playboy, so she’s gotta keep Brody around so she can get another 15 minutes of un-earned fame. Too bad having her back means taking a trip down Speidi path where he is going to alienate all of his friends just to have sex with a Playmate.

Seriously, if people attempted to learn about relationships from this show they’d walk away thinking that people in love make stupid decisions and end up losing all their friends. WTF, MTV?

I mean, look at Spencer and Heidi. They totally moved to Spray Tan/Blonde Hair Island and no one else was invited. Now they are in “therapy” dealing with the fact that they only have eachother…and it’s not that great. I could have told them that, you know, if I cared to see them in a happy relationship. But I didn’t and now they are spending their Saturday afternoons with a therapist instead of chasing the paparazzi through Hollywood and fake making out.

Gosh, I just hope they make it work. I really don’t know how it’s all going to turn out for them. Will they take that walk down the aisle? Will Heidi wear a Monique Lhullier dress and 1 million dollars in borrowed diamonds? Will Stephanie and Holly be the bridesmaids? Will LC show up? What about Kristen Cavillari? And will there be a weird pandemic of some dangerous flu that comes out of Mexico forcing Speidi to shorten their honeymoon and makeout in the airport wearing surgical masks?

I just don’t know. And we’re going to have to wait and find out. Ah! The suspense is going to kill me!!

Even though I know full and well that The Hills is all a crock of reality sh*t, I still spend a good chunk of each episode pulling out the proof. For example, if the show were real, then there would be no way Lauren would get to take time off from her internship last minute to jet-set to Hawaii.  And if the show were real, that Bible in Spencer’s hand would have been real….and would have burned at his touch.

Because there is no way the devil can hold the word of God in his hands and walk away unscathed, right?

All that aside, though, I have never been as entertained by this show as I was when watching Speidi hold bible study in their den of sin with Heidi’s ex boyfriend and his current tranny girlfriend. I know, I know; those two Crested Butte kids are good people and I shouldn’t hate, but when that girl walked into dinner, I really thought she was a man. In an old man’s Hawaiian shirt.

But I did warm up to her pretty quickly; the “girl” had me at, “you look so different. You don’t even look like the same person.”

Thank you for saying what everyone else on earth has ignored for 5 seasons, Christian Tranny! Everyone else seems to ignore the 412 plastic surgery/Botox injections Heidi has had, which, I might add, only prove that she didn’t like the way God made her and took matters into her own hands. Where are those Christian values, Heids?

Not everyone spent their week talking to Jesus (though I imagine Brody and Audrina spoke to him at some point during their trip. Ayooooo); on an island across the ocean, LC, Lo, Stephanie and Audrina decided to surprise the boys in Hawaii. Because showing up where you aren’t invited is always a good idea. While there, the girls hold a secret contest to see who can wear the biggest sunglasses. My congrats go out to Stephanie Pratt for covering nearly 2/3rds of that Pratt Mug with her oversized choice.

But that wasn’t enough for Steph; she also needed to create some un-needed drama by pushing Audrina to hook up with Brody. Now, I know there was some serious sexual tension there (the dude nearly humped her in her monokini), and I know what it’s like to want to get back at an ex, but Brody has a girlfriend. A girlfriend they all know. No matter how horny you are, there has got to be boundaries, women! Respect! SOMETHING.

Not that it matters. Things heat up, people get drunk and Brody finds Audrina on his bed talking to dirty boy, JB.

They talk, she bats her eyelashes and he says, “And if we decide to one night – nobody around, late night… – feelings are feelings.”

Swoon. I’m pretty sure he’s the only dude who can come up with that line and not come across as a skeezy d-bag. In fact, I went to be last night hoping he’d show up in my bedroom and say the same thing. And then do a little strip tease….

Sorry, got lost in my thoughts for a moment. Anyways, no one knows what really happened in that bungalow of love…. oh wait; yes they do. Because Brody saunters out in the morning and announces it to the cameras. Still, he doesn’t want it getting back to Jade and trusts Audrina  is not going to tell anyone about it.

Pfft. Yeah right, Brodes. You think you know women?  Even if Audrina wanted to keep this little hump sesh hush hush, she wouldn’t have a chance. When she walks out of her bedroom she’s walking into a pit with hungry (yet slighty rexi) lions who won’t let her out until they take in every. last. juicy. detail.

That sh*t will be back in LA before they land. And Lord knows I can’t wait. In fact, last night, inspired by Spencer’s newfound love for Jesus, I whipped out my bible and prayed for it.

Tonight was a pretty stellar night. First, I worked out next to a total hottie on the elliptical (but didn’t muster up the courage in my sweaty ‘beater to say anything), then I came home and watched an AMAZING episode of Gossip Girl while eating an ice cream sandwich, and then Spencer and Heidi went to therapy.

When I die, I hope heaven is this good.

A lot of little things happened on tonight’s episode of The Hills. There was the budding romance between Audrina and Brody, or, more likely, MTV trying to make it seem like some big thing that will ultimately end with nothing ever happening. There was Stephanie being a giant moron at People’s Revolution where we learn she can’t answer phones and she doodles when people yell at her (probably because she can’t turn to coke and heroin anymore).

But those were only an appetizer to the delicious drama that was served up next.

Like Jusin Bobby making a return to the scene with a new shorter ‘do and bushier beard. What’s not new: his obsession with ugly hats. Oh and his deep life lessons: “Do you know how quick our life is here on earth?”
I’m not really sure how that made any sense in the context of the “you don’t treat me well” conversation with Audrina, but I guess I never expect that dirtball to make any sense. Audrina, on the other hand, falls right into dirty-finger-nailed grasp and is immediately taken with him again.

I just don’t get it. Besides the fact that this kid is awful and disgusting and dirty, Audrina literally goes from “It would never work” chat with Sleazy T to “I’m crazy in love with you” with JB. Seriously, all she did was turn her head. I know the girl isn’t the brighest bulb, but is it possible that turning her head shook her brain clean like an Etch-a-Sketch? One minute she’s all about being single, then – shake, shake, shake – she just wants Justin back.

Maybe those two just need a little extra nudge. No, not from Brody; from Speidi’s couples therapist!

Not that I understand why a couple of 25-year-olds really need a therapist. I always thought that couple therapy was for old married couples that just don’t have that spark anymore, not for people still making money off of a teen drama on MTV. At this point in our lives, if your relationship isn’t working, you don’t get a therapist, you just break up, get drunk and hook up with other people, then realize how much you miss the other person and go back.

And even if that wouldn’t work for Speidi, it’s not like this woman could. She’s a therapist, not a de-douch-bagger. There is nothing on this planet that will change Spencer – not even a Beverly Hills therapist.

We’ll just have to wait and see how that all turns out.
Who knows? Maybe the entire crew will be sitting on that couch next week after the girls crash the Hawaii surf party. That would just be icing on my (fat-free) Hills cake.

If you can travel…

Hey, if you’ve got the funds, lucky you. Hit up another country and see how they do New Years. You don’t regret it. If you’re still underage, Canadian cities can be quite the hotspot (take it from someone who spent her last <21 New Years in Montreal, after a 10-hour road strip). If you’re loaded despite being in college during the recession, head on over to Europe. Hate the cold? Sing Auld Lang Syne in Puerto Rico or the Dominican Republic.

Okay, those are nice ideas in a fantasy world… but let’s move onto options for those of us who can’t cough up the money for airfare.

If you want to travel but can’t afford it…

Throw a Chinese New Year’s party. Okay, so technically the CNY kicks off February 1, but who cares? Cater your party with Egg Rolls and Fortune Cookies (way cheaper than many food options), decorate with paper dragons, and serve Sake till the last Geisha’s standing.

Create Your Own Times Square. NYC is pretty much insane on New Year’s anyway. Hang a disco ball from the ceiling and buy skyscraper cut-outs for the walls. Have everyone dress up (because in college, the land of hoodies and sweatshirts, you can never have too many fancy-dress parties), and broadcast the Manhattan festivities on your TV in the background. It’ll be warmer than Times Square, and you probably won’t have any bums hitting you up for spare change on the way home.

Throw a Hotel Party…in the Next Town Over. Grab a room at the Best Western or the HoJo, and pretend you’re at the Ritz Carlton. Nobody will have to drive, you won’t have to clean up, and maybe you can work it so you share a queen bed with your crush.

If you really don’t care about traveling, and just want to have a good time:

Throw a “My Tie” party. If you can make a large quantity of Mai Tais in a punch bowl, more power to you. But encourage everyone to dress business-casual, and when the men arrive, have them remove their ties and throw them in a basket. The ladies then choose a tie, and the man who belongs to that piece of neckwear is her date for the night. Takes the pressure off of finding a kiss at Midnight.

New Year’s Resolutions parties can also be fun, because we all have them, and none of us stick to them. Wear a necklace made of empty Marlboro boxes if you plan to quit smoking, or wear some hot spandex if you vow to go to the gym more regularly. Things can get pretty effing creative here. Not into costumes? Have everyone throw their resolution into a hat, and try to guess who is giving up what this year.

Have a Blind Date. They say the way you ring in the new year is a prediction of how the next 365 days will unfold. Plan a girl’s night and go Speed Dating as a group, or see if any bachelors have posted on CrazyBlindDate.com. The key is to get your friends involved, so that at the very least, you can have a laugh. New Year’s Eve is all about letting loose isn’t it?

If you really don’t care about getting smashed…

Check out your city’s First Night. There’s bound to be fireworks, free live music, and tons of street vendors. Many cities across the US host First Night celebrations, and they are quite lucrative.

Host a Best-Of 2008 Movie Marathon. Curl up with some take-out and a stash of DVDs – just be sure to press pause for the Ball Drop at midnight!

Make Some Money. I’ve had my share of insane NYE celebrations. So last year, I opted to wait tables, since every weekend for me is as crazy as the novice’s New Year. The tips were good, and I was still out by midnight. And I made up for missing the big party by having several “No Reason” celebrations. Scour Craigslist and you’ll see tons of opportunities to work at private parties on the 31st. You never know what kind of adventure will actually unravel.

1. The Full House Remake

You weren’t a child of the ’90s unless you watched “Full House” (and if you didn’t, you seriously missed out on some major TGIF action). You knew the Tanner family. You still catch reruns when you stumble upon them flipping through the channels. You pause, you catch a Kimmy Gibbler cameo and laugh, and you remember how things were. And that’s how it should be. Now that John “Uncle Jesse” Stamos is proposing a Full House remake show, all our classic memories may be tainted. Seeing the aged DJ and Steph and the rest of the gang is just going to make me feel like an old fart. And the next thing you know, people are going to start making covers of good ’90s songs, and I’m going to start thinking to myself, “the original ‘Quit Playin Games With My Heart’ was so much better,” and then I will have turned into my mother, and this can’t happen during my 20s.

2. The Obama Citizenship Scandal

I don’t quite follow why this is happening (for all practical purposes, the presidential transition is already underway, and the last thing this country needs is more divisive action), but someone is suing Barack Obama, disputing his US citizenship and thus his claim to the presidency. For the record, Obama was born on August 4, 1961 in Hawaii, which became a member of the Union in 1959. Now what’s the problem? (And let’s not forget that former-rival John McCain was born in Panama on US-zoned territory).

3. Being Born In December

My 21st birthday was this week. That’s right- no more of those nasty “underage” check marks on my hands when I go to concerts, no more ugly red print on my driver’s license and, oh yeah, I can go where I want, whenever I want! Ballin’! Except, there was no proper way for me to celebrate this momentous occasion because (uuugh) I just so happened to have entered the world during the worst week on the calendar: the last week of classes. My time management skills aside, I still have a buttload of reading to do, and all of my friends are handcuffed to their laptops writing end-of-semester papers. So even if I was truly free-as-a-bird, my list of drinking buddies was nil. I guess the only sobering (ha!) wisdom I accrued with this coming of age was that your rights don’t come without responsibilities. Hmph.

4. Ungrateful Bosses

This didn’t happen to me, but I am equally as pissed about it: my roommate, who is a senior applying to graduate school at the moment, recently asked her boss for a recommendation letter. She has worked for years at the same campus job, which is relevant to her career interests and graduate studies. But her boss refused to write her a letter, simply because she wasn’t available to work during a particularly busy time of year. First of all, she is a student, and she took a campus job with the mutual understanding between herself and her employer that her studies came first. Second of all, she has worked there all throughout her undergraduate career, and shouldn’t her loyalty count for something? And third of all, why is it so difficult for this man, who has known my roommate for three years, to write her a one-page recommendation? For Pete’s sake, she just wants to go to grad school, and she’s been doing b*tch work for years to get there. Help a sista out.

5. Snow

I love it, really I do, just not when I am trying to walk home from the bar in my cutest pair of flats.

Has anything similar to the above happened to you/pissed you off? What’s eating you this week? Seriously ladies, let it out – mama’s here for you!

Virginia voters have definitely heard to the call to get up and out, as many registration booths have been “overwhelmed” by the amount of people trying to insure their say in this election.  According to the Los Angeles Times;

“Virginia has logged more than 300,000 new voters since the year began. The state does not record party affiliation, but it says that 41% of the new registrants are under the age of 25, and an additional 20% are between the ages of 25 and 34.

The influx of young voters, a core part of Obama’s voting coalition, is an encouraging sign for the Democratic nominee in a state that has not picked a Democrat for president in more than 40 years .”

It’s always encouraging when young people put down their ipods and blackberrys and decide to take responsibility for a nation they’ll soon be controlling, and it’s even more encouraging that a Democratic candidate unlike any other is the one that gets them fired up.

No matter what party you affiliate yourself with, it’s got to make you happy that someone has finally (seemingly) lit the fire under the ass of America’s youth.

Oh how very wrong I was. It’s not that sunburn is all that different when you’re black, it’s just way more embarrassing. And way less attractive.

The first time I got burned by my hated enemy the sun was in Hawaii. Proof that you should screen up even on cloudy overcast days. The day albeit warm, was gray — but those wicked rays got me anyway. I didn’t know what it was at first. My shoulders itched and burned. I thought I was having some allergic reaction to something in the Hawaiian air. My mom took one look and said, “Ha! You got sunburned!”

The second time it happened I was in Africa and that was even more unbearable for different reasons. After that I decided that the sun and I just aren’t friends.

The point of this isn’t about my own embarrassing stories or the beginnings of my war with the orb of fire. Just to point out some differences. Although a sunburn is pretty much the same in all races (pain, redness, itching, burning, and peeling) that end part is kinda different. See, when you get to the peeling bit it’s alright because like 75% of the people on the beach are suffering from the same thing. But when you’re black it’s like they’ve never seen that before and people start asking you what’s wrong with your skin.

Or if it’s really bad like my sister is prone to get on her face, then the new skin that comes up isn’t exactly the same color. In fact it’s more pink, less brownish. Very unattractive. And it stays that way. For weeks.

Sunburn can ruin your whole bare shoulder summer, black friends. It really, really can. It’s like our dirty, dirty secret that I’m telling you here.

Black people totally burn.

It’s as vivid today as it was when it happened five years ago: Chris and I bodysurfing on an abandoned beach just outside of Acapulco and Stephanie looking at us with wonder from the shore. He and I would get slammed, and slammed again, then come up smiling from sand-filled ear to water-logged ear. Just before going in, we looked out into the vast horizon. The sky was clear blue. There were no clouds in sight. The ocean held us in its wake. Suddenly, we both gasped at the same time: a flying stingray briefly jumped out of the water just fifteen feet away.

“Did you see that?” he asked me.

“That was so cool,” I said.

Christopher Cady was my best friend’s boyfriend. He and Stephanie — like myself — had a real case of wanderlust. With no one else could I share my travel stories and feel completely understood. Only they understood why I would want to attend college in Maine, a continent and ocean away from my home in Hawaii: for the pure challenge and unpredictability.

Steph and I lived vicariously through each other, traversing the globe and telling each other tale after wondrous tale. Their travels brought them from Maine to Mexico to Taos to Central America to Boston, but culminated abruptly in Chamonix one fateful afternoon in January 2004. Chris had prepared an engagement ring before their trip. He didn’t get a chance to give it to her because, despite the storm that was brewing that late afternoon, he took an off-piste route and went missing.

Later that month, a memorial service was held in Boston — his body still not found. “Christopher,” Stephanie spoke in the eulogy, “I love you with everything that I am, and I can’t wait until the day I see you again.” Her chin lowered as she held back painful tears and backed away from the podium. Her black hourglass slinked back into the chair in the front row. Chris’s body wasn’t found until the snow thawed in May, but our suspicions were correct: he was killed in an avalanche.

Resilient, she is. Stephanie picked up the pieces so quickly that by the fall of the same year she met the man she was going to marry and by July 2005 she was pregnant. By November, she was married; by April 2006, with newborn son. And despite knowing she had dealt with a tremendous loss, I was dealing with my own. Steph had lost a lover and, now, after trading in her adventurous ways for a stable life with husband and child, I felt like I was losing a true confidante.

As Stephanie entered this new phase in her life, I discovered freedom in global exploration, traveling to India and Mediterranean Europe. It seems our lives have diverted in different directions. Fulfillment arrived in the form of new love and companionship for Steph; I found it through international travel.

Recently, when Steph found out I would be visiting Asia, she immediately put me in touch with Rick, her husband’s best friend from high school. Rick had been living in Vientiane (Laos) for nearly a decade and directing a village-focused NGO. I figured, if Stephanie can’t travel across the Pacific to meet her friend, then I will do it for her.

Rick and I met over lunch at his wife’s Full Moon Café. He taught me how to eat laap with sticky rice and told me about Colebrook, Stephanie’s new baby, whom I have yet to meet. When he described life as an ex-patriot, it resonated for me in a way that foretells my own direction in life. We talked about the ease of life outside America. There is a freshness to it experienced only when removed from the bubble. From my travels through Laos, I shared with Rick my observation of its growing popularity as a tourist destination. Vang Vieng, in particular, is trying to accommodate for its tourist boom by building guesthouses along its tubing route.

“Things aren’t like they used to be,” Rick told me. “What you see now is not how it will be tomorrow.”

Now, I’m thinking of Chris. Instead of reading an email about he and Steph’s adventure in South America I am reading descriptions of Colebrooks’s first words, first steps, or first Halloween costume (he was a lion). I don’t think it would have been better one way or the other, but somehow I have come to accept things the way they are. Yet, I’ve decided that when I return to Acapulco or Laos, I won’t go back to the same places. They just wouldn’t be the “same same” — they’d be different.

“You have to be careful of the undertow,” Chris had warned me before we both ventured into the Acapulco water. “The waves are stronger than you think.”

I dove through a 4-footer and popped out the other side. Chris and I waded a while just beyond the breaking waves, bobbing to water that seemed so alive–like a big belly breathing. We didn’t say anything for some time; we just took in the moment.

“I’m thinking,” I finally said as the ocean rose and exhaled, “can you be truly happy with life if you haven’t experienced something like this?”

“Or,” Chris said, “can you truly enjoy it if you don’t have someone to share it with?” He looked longingly to shore, where Stephanie was watching us from the shade of a thatched beach umbrella.

“Experiencing it… Sharing it… Which one’s more important?” I asked.

“Definitely a little bit of both.”

I am now experiencing and sharing life in ways I never would have — and, strange as it may seem, I credit Christopher Cady, by best friend’s boyfriend, for helping me understand life’s more profound mysteries. If it weren’t for Chris, I wouldn’t have bodysurfed in Acapulco. I wouldn’t have married Stephanie off to another man. I wouldn’t have met Rick in Vientiane. If it weren’t for Chris, I wouldn’t have experienced a lot of the things that have put the joy of life, heartbreak of death, and discovery of traveling into utterly ironic perspective.

Why then, are so many people interested in breaking down celebrities who aren’t frighteningly thin?

Jennifer Love Hewitt is the most recent victim of badly angled paparazzi photos, and I have to say, I feel every inch of her pain. Sure, the girl isn’t skinny, but she’s not fat.

So there are a few instances of cellulite. So she has a waist thicker than a pencil. So she’s not wearing a ton of make-up at the beach. How many average women does this describe?

I’m happy that JLW isn’t thin. Even though I don’t watch her show (I mean, if we’re being honest here…it’s totally boring), I think she’s a good role model for girls all over the country who have boobs and an ass.

She’s on TV and she’s not a size 0. There’s hope for us all.

Like most women who see unflattering pictures of themselves posted online, JLW is pissed off that the photos are being used to cut her down.

“What I should be doing is celebrating some of the best days of my life and my engagement to the man of my dreams, instead of having to deal with photographers taking invasive pictures from bad angles.” She posts on her website. “I know what I look like, and so do my friends and family. And like all women out there should, I love my body.”

“To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini — put it on and stay strong.”

Bad angles or not, I’m glad she allowed herself to human and hurt by public scrutiny, and was brave enough to post something online.

It’s an old, tired, worn-out argument, but why being a size 2 or lower is so important to our society still doesn’t make sense to me. Aspiring to be fat isn’t something we teach our kids, so why does it work the other way around?

What do you think? Are you on JLW’s side? Or is being skinny really the only way to go?