As a member of a Greek organization, I’ve encountered various stereotypes about Greek Life since I first went through recruitment (also known as rush). These range from the understandable to the completely absurd, and I’ll get to those later. What really irks me is that many of these stereotypes are started and perpetuated by things such as the media or one person’s experience, things that can be radically different from what going Greek is really about. In my opinion, this fact can lead members of Greek life to subconsciously embody these stereotypes, simply because it seems like that’s what sorority and fraternity life is supposed to be.

House parties, mixers, hazing, drinking, sex…what seems to be forgotten are the positive facts about going Greek, and there are many. A whole article could be dedicated to someone’s opinion on why going Greek is amazing, but I’m not here to write specifically about that. What I am here to write about are the most common stereotypes that apply to sororities in particular and why these stereotypes are not always truth. (It’s also worth mentioning that  stereotypes can vary from campus-to-campus and person-to-person, depending on individual experiences.)

Also, I am by no means saying that being in a sorority makes for a better college experience. It’s a personal choice and really depends on the person. Sororities aren’t for everyone after all. With that said, let’s jump into it!

Stereotype #1: Joining a sorority means paying for friends.

This is the most common stereotype I hear. So where to start…how about with dues or membership fees? As with any organization, funds are required to keep a sorority up and running. Each sorority has a national executive office to whom we pay our dues. A breakdown of these payments would most commonly show housing payments (if the organization has one on campus) and membership payments, which cover chapter operations such as philanthropy events and sisterhood activities (rituals, etc.).

What dues do not cover is friendship. I know it seems that sorority girls become best friends right away, what with the cheers, t-shirts, etc. after rush.  I feel like this is due to the overall excitement that comes with joining. The new members are excited to join, and the older members are excited (and I mean excited) to have new sisters. We like to express that! Of course, you won’t automatically be best friends with everyone, but overall, you get out what you put into a sorority. If you never go to any events or make an effort to make friends, than you won’t have as many. Simple as that. In most cases, the friends you meet in a sorority are ultimately more valuable than any price you could pay.

Stereotype #2: Sorority girls are dumb/don’t care about class and doing well in school.

I’d say this one comes almost directly from the media (hello, Legally Blonde.) Girls in sororities are depicted as dumb bimbos who somehow scrape by to get a degree. It makes for a good movie, but in reality, there are often academic requirements that come with being part of a sorority. At many schools, you need a certain GPA in order to even sign up for rush. Once in a sorority, you must maintain a certain GPA (which varies between sororities), often higher than the one used for rush, or else you may lose certain privileges. Another common occurrence is the use of study hours. Based on your GPA at the beginning of the semester, you need to complete a certain number of study hours.

In my experience, these demands are just extra motivation to do well in school and not screw up, and many girls go above and beyond the minimum GPA requirement. Additionally, the all-sorority GPA on a campus is often equal to or higher than the overall collegiate GPA, and this fact is listed on many schools’ Greek life websites. Many famous politicians, authors, entrepreneurs and the like were a part of Greek Life in college, and hey — even Elle Woods got into Harvard Law!

Stereotype #3: Sorority girls party/sleep around excessively.

Ah, the media strikes again. I don’t think the average sorority girl parties more than any other college student. After all, they do have the same or similar academic commitments. I suppose it seems that sorority members party more based on the fact that there are often events such as Greek Week, in which there are mixers almost every day, and then date parties, formals, etc. These don’t happen every weekend though, and sorority life is composed of so much more than partying and mixers. The fact that events such as Greek Week are often advertised and talked about for weeks beforehand probably adds to the “party all the time” cliché, as well as the general publicity, for lack of a better word, that comes with wearing letters. For example, if someone sees you in class in your letters, and then sees you wasted at a party, your sorority will probably be one of the first things they remember about you.

As for the sleeping around…why sororities in particular? As we all know, college campuses can often be hotbeds of sexual activity for Greeks and non-Greeks alike. Again, I think this is a result of the “publicity” of Greek events, in which sororities and fraternities often mix. Combined with the sex-crazed frat bro stereotype, it only seems logical that all girls in Greek life fulfill the “sorostitute” role, right? Wrong. Like anyone else, sorority girls are capable of long-term relationships and restraint when it comes to sex. This is a matter of not letting a few select people affect how you view the much larger group they are a part of.

Stereotype #4: You can only be accepted into a sorority if you’re “pretty” or “hot.”

Contrary to popular belief, not all sorority girls are Lilly Pulitzer-clad Stepford wives. Of course, there are always going to be shallow girls who take away the true meaning of sisterhood and base it on superficial things, most often looks, and that to me is sad. However, what I hope someone reading this realizes is that it’s not the letters or the stereotypes about who is hottest that define a sorority; it’s the group of girls in it. Many girls going through rush will realize this and choose a sorority based on how they felt when meeting its sisters. Look past the letters, the shirts, and the stereotypes and you’ll see a diverse group of girls in all shapes, sizes, colors etc. (I’m talking on a large scale, not just one campus.) It might not be a Benetton ad, but it’s certainly not a Barbie dream house, either. Get to know some of us before assuming anything; you might be surprised!

Stereotype #5: Hazing

This, to me, is the most difficult stereotype to address. I am not a part of every sorority at every school, so I don’t know what actually goes on. I myself was never hazed, and I don’t feel the need to say that to protect my sorority or something, since I’m not affiliating myself with one in this article. We’ve all seen the articles and news stories about someone dying or a Greek organization getting kicked off campus because of hazing. But these stories do not represent Greek Life as a whole. Not every Greek organization hazes. And whether you are the one hazing or the one being hazed you can still get in trouble if you do not report the incident. It’s a simple matter of being a bystander.

Hazing distorts the true meaning of being a part of a sisterhood. If you have to do something unpleasant to become a member, then you don’t even want to be a part of that in the first place. It’s hard to stand up against your friends and organization if they support hazing, but it is the right thing to do and it is possible.

There is a saying amongst us sorority girls: “From the outside, you can never understand it. From the inside, you can never explain it.” I’ve tried my best to address and explain some stereotypes about sororities and hopefully changed some people’s minds about Greek Life.  My Greek Life experience has been amazing, and I hope that more girls out there will consider going Greek. After all, you never know until you try!

Isabel is a breaker of stereotypes and a hero to sorority women everywhere. When not creating ridiculously grandiose visions of herself, she studies English at the University of Delaware and enjoys spending time with her sorority sisters.

Hazing. It’s a touchy subject, and by “touchy” I mean one that we never want to touch on… or ever be a part of. I happen to come from a very anti-hazing chapter and university, both of which take ample precautions to eliminate hazing. Yet at colleges across the country, hazing still exists (and goes too far). And it exists in student groups and organizations that don’t have Greek letters in their names.

Why, then, are sorority and fraternity incidents the ones that are always making national news?

Most recently, two fraternities and one sorority at George Washington University were stripped of their houses on campus for hazing and underage drinking incidents. And of course, the story made it into the Washington Post. And this wasn’t the first time that’s happened.

In fact, it seems to me that the only time hazing stories get any media attention, they involve the Greek community. (It also seems that the only time the Greek community gets any media attention it’s for hazing, but that’s a whole different issue.) Should those who break the rules (and the law!) be punished for their actions? Absolutely. Should those who stand by and let it happen be punished too? Yes. But we all know that it’s not just the frat boys and sorority girls who partake in hazing rituals.

I’m not a finger-pointer, but I can’t ignore the severe hazing incidents that have nothing to do with fraternities and sororities. Why don’t we ever hear anything about high school and college sports teams that haze? And what are their punishments? Are entire teams getting suspended for entire seasons? Does the team get removed from the athletic roster like a fraternity or sorority gets kicked off campus?

And what about the other student groups? Oftentimes they too have strict rituals new students must partake in if they want to be a part of the group. But does anyone notice?

No and no.

I am not sitting here saying that many fraternities and sororities don’t haze. They do, as awful as that is, and that’s why there are strict no-hazing policies in place on most campuses. But the fact is, they’re not the only ones who do so and it’s unfair that we get all the negative (national) attention and repercussions when everyone else out there merely gets a slap on the wrist.

If hazing is such a big issue – and it is – then it’s time we treat everyone who does it the same whether they are a Greek house or a sports team that brings in millions of dollars for a university each year. Hazing is serious, it’s damaging and it needs to be stopped… no matter who is doing it.

And while we’re speaking Greek, maybe it’s time we start giving fraternities and sororities attention for the things they’re doing right; highlighting the chapters that don’t haze, the money Greek communities raise for charity, and all the other great things this large group of college students does every year.

Or is that just wishful thinking?

What do YOU think about the negative stigmas that are associated with Greeks? Do you think they’re treated unfairly? Sound off!

[Got a question for our sorority girl? Email her at submissions [at] collegecandy [dot] com. In the meantime, get the DL on Greek Life from the women who are living it right here.]

…is there a price?

For some, it could be drinking excessively to prove you can keep up with your pledge class. Or maybe it is participating in embarrassing or humiliating acts around campus, to show your dedication to a new group. Kidnappings and road trips? Sure. Taking nude pictures? Alright, if you say so.

It’s true. This semester, new sorority girls at schools across the Southeast found themselves targeted on Facebook by a Lexie Hillbrenner, an alum of their chapter who handpicked them as potential future leaders of their sororities – what great news for any new pledge!

After hours of chatting about majors and backgrounds, Lexie felt as welcoming and friendly as any other sister…so when she asked girls to complete random tasks ranging from reporting the distance between their dorm and the sorority house to what color underwear they were wearing, it didn’t hit too far from home. It’s college and they probably thought, “we’re Greek, and this is just part of getting into the house!”

When Lexie started asking for nude pictures and replying to any objections with threats,  some girls went to campus police. But according to university policies, hazing of any kind is illegal, and people say it doesn’t happen at all. So why didn’t the girls come forward earlier? It’s as if hazing occurs so often that undergraduates can barely recognize it anymore.

“We want to be a part of something and we’re not fully accepted yet – perfect target,” said one of the victims who contacted police at Lexie’s forward request after mentioning it to her mother. But how many new and impressionable freshmen didn’t call home those days and hosted photo shoots with their webcams instead, for the sake of some promise of belonging? With Facebook, there’s no way to tell – even Lexie is “virtually untraceable” according to police officials at Florida State University.

Hazing happens, more often then not – even outside the sorority house and on athletic teams and student clubs.

A red flag shouldn’t go up simply because these students were asked to participate in sexually explicit acts, but because they thought they were being subjected to standard forms of initiation required to “pass the test.”

For future reference, there is no test. Ever.

Get the facts before you participate in any hazing rituals.

What is hazing? By definition, hazing is “”any activity expected of someone joining a group that 
humiliates, degrades, abuses or endangers, regardless of the person’s willingness to participate. This does not include activities such as rookies carrying the balls, team parties with community games, or going out with your teammates, unless an atmosphere of humiliation, degradation, abuse or danger arises.”

Hazing can be as simple as withholding rights, or as severe and serious as burning, assaulting, or drugging another person. And while the more innocent forms of hazing may seem inconsequential, these are often considered misdemeanors – even if the victim is consenting. The power structure of hazing is dangerous in and of itself; a younger person or someone who is a position of inferiority often feels too threatened by possible punishments to speak out, so even if someone doesn’t seem bothered by your actions, it’s still considered hazing.

The reason these rules are in place is simple: nobody means to kill or seriously harm the person who is being hazed, but these situations often spiral out of control. Take the 2002 Cal State Los Angeles hazing that left two girls dead: after being made to perform exercises on the beach for hours, Kenitha Saafir and Kristin High were told to walk backwards into the ocean. Saafir went along with the task even though she couldn’t swim, and when the tide carried her away, her fellow pledge went after her. Both girls drowned. Clearly this was not the sorority’s intention, but when hazing is involved, these things happen and those that initiated the activity are held accountable.

The number people who have ruined their own lives by hazing others is remarkable. Without even meaning to harm anyone, initiators can leave others seriously injured or even dead – and if the possibility of living with that guilt isn’t enough of a reason not to haze, the legal repercussions should be. In the past, those who have hazed to death have been convicted of manslaughter – whether or not they wanted things to get so far out of hand.

So be smart – avoid hazing at all costs, even if it makes you look or feel like you’re going against the group. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it. In my opinion, belonging to a group is never worth taking such a serious risk.

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Not suprisingly, this “hilarious” initiation has caused quite a ruckus on campus. The president of the fraternity, Jordan Forney, apologized about the incident, claiming it was a “lapse of judgment.”

To me, it seems more like a “lapse of maturity, intelligence or respect for themselves or women.”

As a recent Lemondrop article mentions, it’s highly unlikely that this incident was a game-time decision. The older fraternity brothers knew exactly what they were doing and where they wanted to do it.

The extraordinarily degrading and misogynistic chants are irksome and naturally arouse disgust amongst females nationwide, but particularly to those on Yale’s campus. The Yale Women’s Center is calling for disciplinary action to be taken against the fraternity. My fingers are crossed that their pleas will be heard.

I guess, at the end of the day, the main shocker is that this event occurred at Yale University, one of the most prestigious Ivy League schools in America. These kids are supposed to be the cream of the crop, the shining new generation of U.S. leaders. Instead, the school has housed a group of chauvinistic men who find something as revolting as rape funny.

Turns out scoring perfectly on the SATs won’t keep you from scoring perfectly on the “I’m a Tool” scale. Let’s hope Yale holds this chapter of Delta Kappa Epsilon accountable for their disgraceful and demeaning acts.

What do you think? If this had happened on your campus, how would you want it to be solved?

[We scoured the country to find the ultimate sorority girl to share her expertise with you. After reading through tons of applications followed by hours Facebook-stalking all the candidates (which proved difficult thanks to FB's privacy settings....), we found her. And now, with sorority recruitment under way at many schools across the country, she's getting down to business and sharing everything you want/need to know about going from scared rushee to enthusiastic active sister.]

To protect the traditions and longstanding process, sorority rush is inherently shrouded in secrecy. Every chapter keeps their plans hush hush, current members can’t talk to potential new members, and everything – from rush songs to what snacks they’ll be serving – is kept on total lock down.

And to a nervous rushee with no idea what is about to happen, it can all be quite overwhelming.

To ease your minds a bit (and stop all the rumors about fat circling….), I’m going to open the doors of those palatial sorority houses and let you see things from the other side. So here it is: what every girl about to go through rush wants to know.

Question: I heard all the sororities release girls that aren’t pretty on the first day!
Answer: Common thought? Of course! But total BS. If you get released from a chapter on the first day it was for one of two reasons: A) your GPA or B) there was no chemistry in the conversation.

A) Most if not ALL chapters have a pretty standard GPA cut off for new members that is set by their nationals and their individual chapter. If your grades don’t make the cut, neither do you. BUT don’t let this intimidate you – every chapter has different GPA standards so no matter your grades, you can still get into a great house!

B) As funny as it may sound, sorority women think of recruitment like a date. Some of us even go as far as calling it ‘PNM flirting.’ Members want to make a connection with YOU so that YOU want a ‘second date’… make sense? So, it doesn’t matter if you were dressed to the nines and flirted so hard you expected her to hand you a bid on the spot (side note: offering a bid like that is illegal; members aren’t going to offer you one before all bids are distributed, so stop holding your breath), if there was no connection and, in her experience with the other members of the house, she didn’t see you fitting in….Adios muchacha!

Question: When my rusher greeted me she knew everything about me down to my ex- boyfriend’s mother’s maiden name? Is this normal?
Answer: OK, not to that extent… but YES! Just like in an interview the members want to impress you! Again, it’s all about that ‘second date’… we want YOU to come back for the next round of recruitment! When you register for recruitment you fill out a bio that we use to pair you with a member who has something in common with you and can make you feel comfortable so you can be yourself!

Question: You can only get into a sorority if your mom, grandmother or sister is a member of a sorority.
Answer: Total BS. I registered for recruitment knowing I was the first person in ANY part of my family to go Greek. I was a nervous wreck that I wasn’t going to get into a sorority because I didn’t know anyone Greek, or know anything about the Greek community. But I was wrong. It turns out legacies (siblings or daughters of women already members of a certain sorority) only have a small advantage.

It varies for each sorority, but most sororities will carry a legacy PNM through the first round; after that, she’s on her own just like a non-legacy. This gesture is just out of respect for graduated sisters.

Question: Joining a sorority is WAY too expensive for me…
Answer: A little bit of truth and a little BS, too. I am actually debating whether or not I am going to live in or out of my chapter house next year. I did some research and found its actually CHEAPER to live in the house when it comes to room and board. The only thing that might cost more in a sorority versus an apartment or dorm are the chapter dues. Each year members pay dues to nationals and/or their local chapter. That covers everything from national membership to sorority mixers and events. SO living in a sorority is NOT as expensive as you may think.

Also, a lot of chapters have payment plans. Just like paying rent, you can pay your room and board in installments. This leaves more money in your pocket for extracurriculars, AKA the bars (did I mention that I turned 21 this weekend?!)

Question: If I join a sorority, am I going to get hazed?
Answer: For sororities who play by the rules, hazing is a personal foul. (SO corny… but the Colts are on, and I’m lovin’ it!) In all seriousness, though, most universities have strict no-hazing policies, so this should NEVER be an issue. In fact, this week is National Hazing Prevention Week where fraternities and sororities raise awareness about hazing prevention and we mean business. To learn more about hazing prevention you should visit www.gordie.org.

OK, that’s all I got for now and I know there is NO WAY this answered all your questions. What else do YOU want to know about behind the scenes at sorority rush?

Photo and girls involved totally unrelated to story.

What is the meaning of a sorority exactly?

As an outsider, a self proclaimed anti-sorostitute, I’ve never really understood the purpose.  It’s a “special bond” they tell me.  A “sisterhood” they say.  Here is what I know:  I have a sister, and I have never struck her with a paddle 201 times in one week.  She has never been at the hospital with blood clots and welts on her ass that somehow symbolize our “loyalty” to each other.  I have not forced her to endure this pain to prove to me that she is worthy of being my sister.

Unfortunately, an anonymous Sigma Gamma Rho pledge at Rutgers University cannot say the same.  When she began to pledge the sorority, she was told that they do not condone hazing.  It took her one whole week, until she couldn’t even sit down, to finally go to the hospital and turn in the girls who had been beating her endlessly during the duration of her “non-hazing.”  Six girls were arrested and charged with aggravated hazing.

We are all thinking the same thing: how could these girls do this to her and the other pledges? It is cruel, evil, and outrageous.  But here is the bigger question: how could the pledges allow this happen to themselves? Joining a sorority is an elective activity.  No one forced these girls to pledge.  It was their choice.  Even though they were told that hazing was not condoned, why didn’t they opt to leave once they saw a paddle?  And even if they were too afraid to leave, why the hell did they go back for day two, three, four, etc? 

I understand the feeling of wanting to belong to a group, of having instant friends, and wanting to be a part of something.  However, if I were in a situation where girls were going to physically harm me in order for me to be a part of this group, my response would most likely be “you’re out of your f**king mind.”  I’d be out of that room so fast and the door would not hit my untouched ass on the way out.  The concept is really bizarre to me.  They allow themselves to be hazed, beaten, humiliated, and whatever it takes to be accepted into this so-called “sisterhood,” and then one month later they’re supposed to be BFFs with the people who tortured them. “Hey! Remember that time I beat your ass with a paddle and you couldn’t even walk? HAHA GOOD TIMES GIRL!”

Yeah….sounds like it?

I know that it is important for hazing rules and regulations to be implemented within the Greek system, but I truly feel that hazing will continue as long as there are people who are willing to be hazed.  Think about it:  Sororities and Fraternities haze because they know that there are so many Greek hopefuls who will do whatever it takes to be in that certain house.  If a couple dropout, there will always be more, and the select few will make it until the end.  But what if there were no willing participants?  What if every desperate freshman decided to suddenly respect themselves and not take part in anything so outrageous?  It would have to end, wouldn’t it?

So, ask yourself: how far would YOU go to fit in?

According to StopHazing.org, hazing is defined as “any activity expected of someone joining a group (or to maintain full status in a group) that humiliates, degrades or risks emotional and/or physical harm, regardless of the person’s willingness to participate.” That can include everything from going to an event in costume to being thrown off a roof between two matresses (and yes, that did happen at my school).

In its original form, hazing was used to create a bond between a group of people. Basically, older members would put their new recruits through obstacles in attempts to force them to band together against their oppressors. And in theory it works – how many times during middle school did you and your classmates band together when faced with an evil teacher or, better, a sub?

The problem is that it has gone too far. Students are getting injured and sometimes even killed during acts of hazing. ABC recently did a study on this where they brought hazing out into the open to see if people would step up and stop the cruel acts. And what happened?

Well, when men were being hazed most people stepped in to stop it. When women were being hazed, however, most people stood by and watched, letting the poor girls be humiliated and hurt. It was a spectacle and people wanted to see what happened next.

It was horrifying and difficult to watch, but it made me realize that I have done this many times. Not only was I hazed as a freshman (mostly benign things like dressing up or being an older girl’s “slave”), but I knew about many other kids being hazed and never did anything about it. I wrote it off as just another thing that “everyone goes through” and let it continue. Yes, even when it was happening in front of me.

Campuses have cracked down on hazing recently, but it has not stopped. Could this be because we, the people closest to it, allow it to go on?

Every college student has encountered hazing in some way, so I’d like to know: would you stop hazing if you saw it? If not, why? Let it all out in the comments.

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