Today I sat down to think about all the reasons I thought men were sexy. Rough life, right? Well, it’s a little harder than you might think. Perhaps we don’t give guys enough credit around here, but it really is true — when they’re not saying or doing something stupid — we’re completely crazy about them and all their manly habits. Of course there are the easy answers, the physical things, but so much of that is subjective. I like tall guys with messy, dark hair; my best friend likes short, clean-cut gingers. Tomato to-mah-to. It’s hard to pinpoint one physical idea all women worship (no, I don’t find Skarsgard or Fassbender attractive…sorry).

Somewhat surprisingly, it’s easier to find common ground on those more nebulous characteristic — the personality traits, not the physical ones. When getting the opinion of my friends, I thought I’d be more alone on some of these things than it turned out. See what I think are the 10 sexiest things about guys, and let me know if I skipped one of your favorites! Read More »

Dear Guy-I’ve-Decided-I-Like-Enough-To-Introduce-to-My-Parents,

Congratulations, you’re the first boyfriend to officially make it this far. Sure, there was that one guy who met my mom by accident at a funeral and that other one who kinda ran into my dad at a tailgate, but those weren’t pre-planned situations. I was able to fake some extreme emotion — saddness and black-out-ness, respectively, in these instances — pulling myself and the guy in question away from the parentals before any serious meet-and-greet sh*t went down.

You see, the idea of having anyone meet my mother and father is one of the scariest things I can think of. As I write this I’m literally having a small panic attack, shaky hands and all. So, high fives to me for letting you cross this very real checkpoint in our relationship and a giant pat on the back to you for putting up with my crazy ass.

Just for the record, you shouldn’t be scared. It’s not that my parents are weird, it’s all me. They’re quite the opposite, actually; on the whole Richard and Phyllis are nice, normal, friendly people who will likely welcome you with open arms and homemade chocolate chip cookies. I’m the one who will be holding my breath the entire time while worst case scenarios run vividly through my mind.

To help me get through this, I’m going to need you to be calm. Like calmest you’ve ever been. Because I’m going to be a complete nervous wreck, and it’s up to you to keep me from running away. You see, I don’t just want my parents to like you. They like the mailman. They like the kid who bags our groceries at Shop Rite. “Like” is not good enough for me. I want them to be absolutely crazy about you, if simply for the fact that I’m absolutely crazy about you. Reach that lofty level of approval and any doubts I ever had about our relationship will magically vanish. Gaining their enthusiastic endorsement is your ultimate Get Out of Jail Free card.

So how do you win them over in a big way? If you can be confident and funny and charming, but also kinda humble and down-to-earth, too, that would be great. I have a really big extended family, and they’re a wild and loud bunch. Should you meet them as well, being able to engage their attention and hold your own is major. Don’t be intimidated. No one’s going to pull you into their bookshelf-lined study to grill you on your intentions, but chances are they will force-feed you more food than you’ve ever seen in your life. If you love me, you’ll be good and ask for seconds. Also, be sure to have a couple entertaining life stories up your sleeve. I’ve got an uncle who goes hunting in Alaska and Africa and far-off islands, another who is one of the country’s top surgeons, a little brother who once ran into Petey Pablo at Rite Aid. Needless to say, the men in my family are pretty cool. Be dazzling in your own right, and you’ll fit in just fine.

Above all else, relax and know it’s going to be okay. Remember, I’m freaking out more than you are, right? So let’s just get drunk and go find a spare bedroom to make out in.

Get ‘em, tiger. You’ve totally got this.

Click here to see what He Says about meeting his parents for the first time!

Alex loves rainbow sprinkles, retro bromances, and cultivating an iTunes library superior to yours. Most days, though, she just wishes she was Beyonce. Got something to say or a good conspiracy theory you’re just dying to share with someone? Follow her on twitter @AlexandraRane or on Tumblr.

Rember that scene from ‘The Sweetest Thing’ when Christina is dreaming about receiving oral sex every hour on the hour while eating mountains of ice cream void of any calories? Yeah, that’s pretty much paradise. It shouldn’t shock anyone to hear that girls enjoy oral sex just as much as guys. And you better believe girls will talk about any guy that’s really good (or really bad for that matter) under the sheets. I don’t think most girls would say oral sex is a deal breaker, but if a guy is good, it’s a definite bonus. And if he can take all the calories out of ice cream, he can marry me now.

Each woman’s body is different, and there is no Rosetta Stone of oral, but here are 4 pointers that shouldn’t offend too many ladies:

1. Tease her: Make your way down between her legs slowly. Kiss softly. Let her pantie line be the guide, and actually follow all the lines. Keep her panties on for a bit and kiss her on top of them. The warmth will give her chills and her anticipation will make her restless. You’ll feel her excitement when she has a hard time laying still. Wait til then to slide her panties off, but keep her wanting. Kiss all the same spots you just hit before the undies were gone.

2. Use your tongue: A slow build up is good, but merely kissing and breathing on our lady parts isn’t going to do much for us. Clitoral stimulation is just as important (for some ladies more important) as actual vaginal penetration. We don’t want anyone to be too rough, and super soft is a good as a teaser at first, but eventually there needs to be some pressure from your tongue. You’re doing the right thing if she’s clenching her thighs or thrusting her hips. Don’t be afraid to ask her for some direction. Faster? Softer? Harder? She’ll tell you.

3. And your fingers: you can stimulate her clitoris with your tongue while penetrating her with your fingers. This takes some coordination and rhythm, but I’m sure she won’t mind letting you practice for a while.

4. Be steady and consistent: if you keep sporadically jumping around and doing different things, it will be pretty difficult for her to get off. She needs a steady build up to climax. This doesn’t mean you should stick to one move the entire time. Make sure there’s a steady rhythm to whatever you’re doing and transition slowly to a new thing.

You should be able to tell when she’s close to finishing, and you can be sure she didn’t fake it if after the big moment, her vagina starts pulsing a bit. Let her just lay there for a good ten minutes, and I’m sure she’ll be more than willing to return the favor. And again, every girl is different, so ask her what she likes.

What do you think ladies? Give us your pointers below!

And don’t forget to see what He Said over at COEDMagazine.com

[lead image via hotflix.com

I’ve had my share of really good guy friends. You know what I’m talking about. The ones who sleep in your bed, who know your favorite beer and bring a six-pack over just because. The ones who text you when some random, funny thing happens and call you to rant when they’ve had a bad day. The two of you probably share the same taste in movies and music and the same sense of humor. You advise him on his haircuts, he helps you assemble your Ikea furniture (or, in my case, reach whatever’s on the top shelf).

But at the end of the day, you flirt with other guys at the bar, he dates some girl he met on the subway, and it all works out. You’re just friends. You don’t care where he’s sticking his P, and he has no rights to your V. Friends. Awesome, wonderful, totally-not-having-dirty-thoughts-when-he-looks-at-you-that-way friends. Isn’t it great?

Yeah right. Read More »

Anyone who tells you dating isn’t one big game is, if I may be blunt, completely full of sh*t. Dating is absolutely a game and, if you don’t play your cards right, you’re going to be striking out quite a bit. Luckily, there are rules in place to keep you from looking like a crazy desperado. And most of them sprout from common sense…which means that, with a little self-restrain and a fair amount of good judgment, they’re pretty easy to follow. I’ve rounded up a few of the most basic and important rules right here for you to get you on your merry dating way.

Texting…do it in moderation. I get so mad at my friends when, after trading numbers with a guy, they proceed to text him. That night. Literally five minutes after we left the bar. Three minutes after we left the dude in question. It’s not just a friendly, “Hey, had a great time tonight! It was fun meeting you!” It’s a cry of desperation that says you haven’t gotten laid in six months. Wait for him to break the initial post-meeting silence and, once he does, don’t act like a Stage Five Clinger. Texting him every five minutes and expecting an immediate reply is not attractive. Read More »

When it comes to judging guys, I’m not even going to pretend like I’m above the fray. Of course I notice what he’s wearing and how he looks and whether or not he uses winky faces in his texts. And guess what? If something he says or does is weird enough, I just might not want to continue getting to know him. The truth hurts, and you can hate me all you want, but I refuse to believe I’m alone in this. As a matter of fact, I know I’m not alone. Many nights out have ended with me and my friends laugh-crying on the floor because of a dude’s epic style fail or his proclivity for using the word “buzzkill.” Who says “buzzkill” with a straight face? I’ll tell you something, I certainly can’t hear it without being reduced to giggle fits.

Sure those are some of the more trivial elements on the judgement scale, but there really are some heavy-hitters to look out for. Without further ado… Read More »

Would you like a guy less if he’s slept with 25 girls? How about 40 girls? Or 70 girls? And at which point would you straight-up refuse to be his next conquest? All that counting and keeping track is enough to make your head spin, so I propose this: Maybe just keep the numbers to your respective selves. That’s been my rule from the start, and it’s worked out pretty fabulously.

So long as you’re up front about your sexual health history (yes, beyond the drunk/sarcastic, “You don’t have AIDS, right?”), there’s no need to disclose actual numbers. Frankly, I think it’s easier if you don’t. Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, there’s stress in knowing your partner has slept with a sh*t ton more people than you have, or vice-versa. Suddenly you’re the goody-two-shoes and he’s the man-whore. You’re the raging slut and he’s kinda prude. Why should it matter that you had a wild and crazy summer after you broke up with your boyfriend of five years? Who cares if he made more than a few female friends when he spent a semester in France? Maybe one or both of you simply likes having sex…whenever and wherever you can get it. Hey girl, live and let live! Read More »

When it comes to new boyfriends, there are a million thoughts and feelings rushing through our heads and hearts. We can’t eat, sleep, talk, breathe, etc. Sometimes falling for a new guy can feel like being drunk. You don’t act like yourself. You may not notice yourself turning into a complete crazy, but I can tell you that your friends will.

Your friends will tolerate you talking about this new said BF on the regular for only a few short moments. They are going to get annoyed. They are going to want to punch you in the face if you say “us” or “we” in a sentence pertaining to him one more time, but does this bother you? Do we care that much about what our friends think of our boyfriends? Is it a deal breaker if they don’t?

Sad but true fact: I have almost lost two of my closest and best friends because of a guy. I acted like a crazy person. When we first got together, I completely let them in the dust. I didn’t call, text, hang out with them—nothing. I seriously was on another planet. I did not care that they didn’t like my new guy. My mindset was that if they couldn’t be happy for me, then I didn’t need them in my life.  When I was 19, my friend’s opinion of my relationship and my boyfriend did not matter. Read More »

Let’s talk about getting back together with an ex, shall we? That wonderful, slippery slope I’m sure we’ve all tried to traverse at least once before. I’d ideally like to be writing this with a glass bottle of wine next to me, but — alas — I’m at my office desk and it’s only 11:20AM. Not the best of circumstances for day drinking and advice dispensing. But I do have an opinion on this matter, one that was honed through both observation and personal experience.

First things first, please understand that I am a glutton for punishment. My feelings don’t really get hurt. I’m stubborn. I think I know what’s best for myself and everyone else. I like to fix things. I’m a huge fan of sleepovers that end with brunch. What am I saying here? Basically, reentering a very broken relationship sounds, to me, like a fun adventure full of personal challenges, great make-up sex and guaranteed eggs benedict. What’s not to love!? Well, as I’ve learned the hard way (twice), a bunch of things. Read More »

There’s something about spending the night with someone that makes you feel so content and appreciated. Not just the sex, mind you. There doesn’t even have to be sex. But sleeping over? Late night pillow talk and a warm body pressed against you? Amazing. Well, if it’s done right. In order for it to be done right, both parties should at least adhere to the following sleeping over guidelines…

DON’T hog the bed.

Especially if you are the guest! Taking up 90% of your own bed with splayed limbs and spread out hair is perfectly fine (actually, it’s divine). But in someone else’s bed it’s not ideal. Even if it’s your own bed, relinquish a little space to your guest; there’s not much point in having them there otherwise. Same with blankets — leaving someone with an inch of blanket and nary a pillow is selfish! If you really need to, buy more pillows.

DO give warning if you have to leave early.

Dashing out of bed early in the morning and leaving while your bedfellow is still asleep is just plain rude. If you must leave early, let them know the night before so that they don’t immediately label you an asshat for loving and leaving. Read More »