Today I sat down to think about all the reasons I thought men were sexy. Rough life, right? Well, it’s a little harder than you might think. Perhaps we don’t give guys enough credit around here, but it really is true — when they’re not saying or doing something stupid — we’re completely crazy about them and all their manly habits. Of course there are the easy answers, the physical things, but so much of that is subjective. I like tall guys with messy, dark hair; my best friend likes short, clean-cut gingers. Tomato to-mah-to. It’s hard to pinpoint one physical idea all women worship (no, I don’t find Skarsgard or Fassbender attractive…sorry).

Somewhat surprisingly, it’s easier to find common ground on those more nebulous characteristic — the personality traits, not the physical ones. When getting the opinion of my friends, I thought I’d be more alone on some of these things than it turned out. See what I think are the 10 sexiest things about guys, and let me know if I skipped one of your favorites!

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And don’t forget to see what He Said are the 10 sexiest things about women!

Dear Guy-I’ve-Decided-I-Like-Enough-To-Introduce-to-My-Parents,

Congratulations, you’re the first boyfriend to officially make it this far. Sure, there was that one guy who met my mom by accident at a funeral and that other one who kinda ran into my dad at a tailgate, but those weren’t pre-planned situations. I was able to fake some extreme emotion — saddness and black-out-ness, respectively, in these instances — pulling myself and the guy in question away from the parentals before any serious meet-and-greet sh*t went down.

You see, the idea of having anyone meet my mother and father is one of the scariest things I can think of. As I write this I’m literally having a small panic attack, shaky hands and all. So, high fives to me for letting you cross this very real checkpoint in our relationship and a giant pat on the back to you for putting up with my crazy ass.

Just for the record, you shouldn’t be scared. It’s not that my parents are weird, it’s all me. They’re quite the opposite, actually; on the whole Richard and Phyllis are nice, normal, friendly people who will likely welcome you with open arms and homemade chocolate chip cookies. I’m the one who will be holding my breath the entire time while worst case scenarios run vividly through my mind.

To help me get through this, I’m going to need you to be calm. Like calmest you’ve ever been. Because I’m going to be a complete nervous wreck, and it’s up to you to keep me from running away. You see, I don’t just want my parents to like you. They like the mailman. They like the kid who bags our groceries at Shop Rite. “Like” is not good enough for me. I want them to be absolutely crazy about you, if simply for the fact that I’m absolutely crazy about you. Reach that lofty level of approval and any doubts I ever had about our relationship will magically vanish. Gaining their enthusiastic endorsement is your ultimate Get Out of Jail Free card.

So how do you win them over in a big way? If you can be confident and funny and charming, but also kinda humble and down-to-earth, too, that would be great. I have a really big extended family, and they’re a wild and loud bunch. Should you meet them as well, being able to engage their attention and hold your own is major. Don’t be intimidated. No one’s going to pull you into their bookshelf-lined study to grill you on your intentions, but chances are they will force-feed you more food than you’ve ever seen in your life. If you love me, you’ll be good and ask for seconds. Also, be sure to have a couple entertaining life stories up your sleeve. I’ve got an uncle who goes hunting in Alaska and Africa and far-off islands, another who is one of the country’s top surgeons, a little brother who once ran into Petey Pablo at Rite Aid. Needless to say, the men in my family are pretty cool. Be dazzling in your own right, and you’ll fit in just fine.

Above all else, relax and know it’s going to be okay. Remember, I’m freaking out more than you are, right? So let’s just get drunk and go find a spare bedroom to make out in.

Get ‘em, tiger. You’ve totally got this.

Click here to see what He Says about meeting his parents for the first time!

Alex loves rainbow sprinkles, retro bromances, and cultivating an iTunes library superior to yours. Most days, though, she just wishes she was Beyonce. Got something to say or a good conspiracy theory you’re just dying to share with someone? Follow her on twitter @AlexandraRane or on Tumblr.

Rember that scene from ‘The Sweetest Thing’ when Christina is dreaming about receiving oral sex every hour on the hour while eating mountains of ice cream void of any calories? Yeah, that’s pretty much paradise. It shouldn’t shock anyone to hear that girls enjoy oral sex just as much as guys. And you better believe girls will talk about any guy that’s really good (or really bad for that matter) under the sheets. I don’t think most girls would say oral sex is a deal breaker, but if a guy is good, it’s a definite bonus. And if he can take all the calories out of ice cream, he can marry me now.

Each woman’s body is different, and there is no Rosetta Stone of oral, but here are 4 pointers that shouldn’t offend too many ladies:

1. Tease her: Make your way down between her legs slowly. Kiss softly. Let her pantie line be the guide, and actually follow all the lines. Keep her panties on for a bit and kiss her on top of them. The warmth will give her chills and her anticipation will make her restless. You’ll feel her excitement when she has a hard time laying still. Wait til then to slide her panties off, but keep her wanting. Kiss all the same spots you just hit before the undies were gone.

2. Use your tongue: A slow build up is good, but merely kissing and breathing on our lady parts isn’t going to do much for us. Clitoral stimulation is just as important (for some ladies more important) as actual vaginal penetration. We don’t want anyone to be too rough, and super soft is a good as a teaser at first, but eventually there needs to be some pressure from your tongue. You’re doing the right thing if she’s clenching her thighs or thrusting her hips. Don’t be afraid to ask her for some direction. Faster? Softer? Harder? She’ll tell you.

3. And your fingers: you can stimulate her clitoris with your tongue while penetrating her with your fingers. This takes some coordination and rhythm, but I’m sure she won’t mind letting you practice for a while.

4. Be steady and consistent: if you keep sporadically jumping around and doing different things, it will be pretty difficult for her to get off. She needs a steady build up to climax. This doesn’t mean you should stick to one move the entire time. Make sure there’s a steady rhythm to whatever you’re doing and transition slowly to a new thing.

You should be able to tell when she’s close to finishing, and you can be sure she didn’t fake it if after the big moment, her vagina starts pulsing a bit. Let her just lay there for a good ten minutes, and I’m sure she’ll be more than willing to return the favor. And again, every girl is different, so ask her what she likes.

What do you think ladies? Give us your pointers below!

And don’t forget to see what He Said over at COEDMagazine.com

[lead image via hotflix.com

I’ve had my share of really good guy friends. You know what I’m talking about. The ones who sleep in your bed, who know your favorite beer and bring a six-pack over just because. The ones who text you when some random, funny thing happens and call you to rant when they’ve had a bad day. The two of you probably share the same taste in movies and music and the same sense of humor. You advise him on his haircuts, he helps you assemble your Ikea furniture (or, in my case, reach whatever’s on the top shelf).

But at the end of the day, you flirt with other guys at the bar, he dates some girl he met on the subway, and it all works out. You’re just friends. You don’t care where he’s sticking his P, and he has no rights to your V. Friends. Awesome, wonderful, totally-not-having-dirty-thoughts-when-he-looks-at-you-that-way friends. Isn’t it great?

Yeah right.

You can tell yourself it’s platonic. That neither of you has feelings for the other. And at first it might be true; it can definitely work…for a while. But all that time spent sharing beds and jokes and take-out boxes of vegetable fried rice are bound to amount to something. Feelings.

Drunk feelings are the first sign that your happy friendship is sinking. One night after you’ve both taken 73 shots to the face and sang your hearts out to the timeless Jagged Edge hit, “Let’s Get Married,” one of you will most certainly toss out the idea of getting hitched for realsies. This will be followed by the phrase, “Can I tell you something? No, I’m being serious. Stop laughing. You’re still laughing. We need to talk.” Then, before you know it, you’re in the back of a cab and someone is pouring their heart out, claiming they loved you all along and their face is inching closer to yours and, to quote Xtina, your body’s saying “Let’s go!” but your heart is saying “No!” So what happens? You get to second base in a yellow Ford Taurus speeding down 2nd Ave. While the fallout may prove to be irreparable, at least the experience makes for a good story should you one day write a post like this one.

The next scenario you’re likely to encounter with your “just friend” is the jealous significant other. Those are some angry feelings bubbling, let me tell you. How exactly do you explain to your boyfriend or girlfriend that you have another boy friend or girl friend (note the spaces)…except when you share a bed with them, it’s just for a snuggle sesh? No one wants to know that the person they’re exclusively dating is kinda-sorta emotionally cheating. Fights will ensue, hearts will break, perfectly good things will go very bad. Bottom line: You can’t have your cake and be BFFs with another cake, too.

Now, brace yourselves for this one. The last potential outcome is probably the worst one here: You’re the one with the feelings, but you don’t say anything. Pleading the 5th, playing the bud and watching him go through girlfriends and hookups is probably the worst experience ever. If you’re like me — a girl in possession of a big mouth and sub-par communication skills — just run in the opposite direction. You’ll blurt out some partially-formed sentiment at the exact wrong moment and live to eat your words. Trust me. Been there, not fun. Lots of stuttering and backpedaling involved. I get that emotions are scary, and you have this mental image of confessing your love only to be met with a long silence, followed by him saying, “So don’t take this the wrong way, but I just don’t think of you as more than a friend…” To tell you the truth, that’s probably how it will play out. #ForeverAlone

In summation, men and women cannot be friends. Not for very long, at least. Someone’s eventually gonna wanna tap that. End of argument.

Agree? Disagree? Have a totally platonic guy friend? How’s that working out for you?

And don’t forget to see what He Said over at COEDMagazine.com! (For the record, we’re totally not friends.)

[Lead image via Yuri Arcurs/Shutterstock]

Anyone who tells you dating isn’t one big game is, if I may be blunt, completely full of sh*t. Dating is absolutely a game and, if you don’t play your cards right, you’re going to be striking out quite a bit. Luckily, there are rules in place to keep you from looking like a crazy desperado. And most of them sprout from common sense…which means that, with a little self-restrain and a fair amount of good judgment, they’re pretty easy to follow. I’ve rounded up a few of the most basic and important rules right here for you to get you on your merry dating way.

Texting…do it in moderation. I get so mad at my friends when, after trading numbers with a guy, they proceed to text him. That night. Literally five minutes after we left the bar. Three minutes after we left the dude in question. It’s not just a friendly, “Hey, had a great time tonight! It was fun meeting you!” It’s a cry of desperation that says you haven’t gotten laid in six months. Wait for him to break the initial post-meeting silence and, once he does, don’t act like a Stage Five Clinger. Texting him every five minutes and expecting an immediate reply is not attractive.

On that note, Be Nice. While you’re busy being cool and aloof, he’s probably talking to some other girl who’s funny and nice and charming. There’s a fine line between playing slightly hard to get and being a complete ice queen. And guess which girl he’d rather spend his Saturday night with?

Hide your crazy alcoholic alter-ego. Pregaming your date + drinking on your date + potential overtime date drinking = unhappy ending. The first time a dude sees you on your knees shouldn’t be when you’re hunched over a toilet puking your brains out. Let it be a lesson to us all!!

Don’t talk about your ex or ask about his. At least not for a while. Exes should by NO means be first (or fifth) date conversation, especially if things ended badly. There are good kinds of TMI (“Sometimes I get really horny when watching HGTV. Do you think that’s weird?”) and there are bad kinds of TMI (basically anything to do with your period). Exes are the bad kind until you know someone really well.

Keep an open mind, but not too open. Your mom used to say that you can’t dislike carrots if you’ve never had them. I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t refuse to date bankers/brunettes/etc. if you’ve never dated one. That sentiment, while wise, does come with a three date clause. The clause says that if by the third date you’re still feeling only lukewarm about the guy (or if you flinch every time he touches you) by all means end things. In observing this rule, you can figure out for certain what turns you off while  taking the chance on something that might actually –surprisingly — work out.

Want to know what rules He Said he plays by when it comes to dating? Go to COEDMagazine.com to find out!

Alex loves rainbow sprinkles, retro bromances, and cultivating an iTunes library superior to yours. Most days, though, she just wishes she was Beyonce. Got something to say or a good conspiracy theory you’re just dying to share with someone? Follow her on twitter @AlexandraRane or on Tumblr.

[Lead image via AISPIX by Image Source /Shutterstock]

When it comes to judging guys, I’m not even going to pretend like I’m above the fray. Of course I notice what he’s wearing and how he looks and whether or not he uses winky faces in his texts. And guess what? If something he says or does is weird enough, I just might not want to continue getting to know him. The truth hurts, and you can hate me all you want, but I refuse to believe I’m alone in this. As a matter of fact, I know I’m not alone. Many nights out have ended with me and my friends laugh-crying on the floor because of a dude’s epic style fail or his proclivity for using the word “buzzkill.” Who says “buzzkill” with a straight face? I’ll tell you something, I certainly can’t hear it without being reduced to giggle fits.

Sure those are some of the more trivial elements on the judgement scale, but there really are some heavy-hitters to look out for. Without further ado…

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Wanna see what He Says he judges about you? Take a look over at COEDMagazine.com for all the deets!

Alex loves rainbow sprinkles, retro bromances, and cultivating an iTunes library superior to yours. Most days, though, she just wishes she was Beyonce. Got something to say or a good conspiracy theory you’re just dying to share with someone? Follow her on twitter @AlexandraRane or on Tumblr.

Would you like a guy less if he’s slept with 25 girls? How about 40 girls? Or 70 girls? And at which point would you straight-up refuse to be his next conquest? All that counting and keeping track is enough to make your head spin, so I propose this: Maybe just keep the numbers to your respective selves. That’s been my rule from the start, and it’s worked out pretty fabulously.

So long as you’re up front about your sexual health history (yes, beyond the drunk/sarcastic, “You don’t have AIDS, right?”), there’s no need to disclose actual numbers. Frankly, I think it’s easier if you don’t. Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, there’s stress in knowing your partner has slept with a sh*t ton more people than you have, or vice-versa. Suddenly you’re the goody-two-shoes and he’s the man-whore. You’re the raging slut and he’s kinda prude. Why should it matter that you had a wild and crazy summer after you broke up with your boyfriend of five years? Who cares if he made more than a few female friends when he spent a semester in France? Maybe one or both of you simply likes having sex…whenever and wherever you can get it. Hey girl, live and let live!

If you happen to be one of those people, though, who simply needs to know all the gritty details what will inevitably cause you to over-think your relationship, that’s okay. I’m still here for you. After all, if you’re sleeping with someone, you’re really allowed to ask whatever the heck you want…just be prepared to answer anything they want to know, too. It’s only fair.

If you’re going to go there, please note that the “How many people have you slept with?” conversation is typically best brought up sober. That’s not to say it needs to be the most serious conversation of your life, or that you even need to pencil out a specific time to have the discussion. Just make sure you haven’t mainlined 73 shots before asking the tough questions.

What do you think of my Don’t Ask/Don’t tell policy? Am I crazy? Got some better advice to share? Share your opinion in the comments below!

And don’t forget to see what He Said over at COEDMagazine.com!

Alex loves rainbow sprinkles, retro bromances, and cultivating an iTunes library superior to yours. Most days, though, she just wishes she was Beyonce. Got something to say or a good conspiracy theory you’re just dying to share with someone? Follow her on twitter @AlexandraRane or on Tumblr.

When it comes to new boyfriends, there are a million thoughts and feelings rushing through our heads and hearts. We can’t eat, sleep, talk, breathe, etc. Sometimes falling for a new guy can feel like being drunk. You don’t act like yourself. You may not notice yourself turning into a complete crazy, but I can tell you that your friends will.

Your friends will tolerate you talking about this new said BF on the regular for only a few short moments. They are going to get annoyed. They are going to want to punch you in the face if you say “us” or “we” in a sentence pertaining to him one more time, but does this bother you? Do we care that much about what our friends think of our boyfriends? Is it a deal breaker if they don’t?

Sad but true fact: I have almost lost two of my closest and best friends because of a guy. I acted like a crazy person. When we first got together, I completely let them in the dust. I didn’t call, text, hang out with them—nothing. I seriously was on another planet. I did not care that they didn’t like my new guy. My mindset was that if they couldn’t be happy for me, then I didn’t need them in my life.  When I was 19, my friend’s opinion of my relationship and my boyfriend did not matter.

Fast forward to now–I’m in my twenties, and I have a completely different view. After a horrible break-up and breakdown with this guy, I was pretty alone. All I kept thinking about was how I could have done this to my friends, and how much they truly mattered to me. I never even knew if they didn’t like him or not, all I knew is that they didn’t like how I was behaving. I was so wrapped up in my guy, that I automatically assumed they didn’t like him and hated our relationship, when really I just never gave them the chance.

When it comes to relationships, yes, it does boil down to the two of you at the end of the day, but your friends matter. To me personally, if my friends aren’t keen on the guy I’m dating, it matters. I know that they don’t have these feelings due to jealously or hate, they have them because they love and care about me. This is something I had to learn the hard way when I was younger, but now I know that guys come and go, but friends last a lifetime. Don’t lose your friends because of a guy.

Curious to see what He Said? Head on over to COEDMagazine.com!

[Lead image via Hasloo Group Production Studio/Shutterstock]

Let’s talk about getting back together with an ex, shall we? That wonderful, slippery slope I’m sure we’ve all tried to traverse at least once before. I’d ideally like to be writing this with a glass bottle of wine next to me, but — alas — I’m at my office desk and it’s only 11:20AM. Not the best of circumstances for day drinking and advice dispensing. But I do have an opinion on this matter, one that was honed through both observation and personal experience.

First things first, please understand that I am a glutton for punishment. My feelings don’t really get hurt. I’m stubborn. I think I know what’s best for myself and everyone else. I like to fix things. I’m a huge fan of sleepovers that end with brunch. What am I saying here? Basically, reentering a very broken relationship sounds, to me, like a fun adventure full of personal challenges, great make-up sex and guaranteed eggs benedict. What’s not to love!? Well, as I’ve learned the hard way (twice), a bunch of things.

Don’t forget that you broke up for a reason.

It is so, so easy to look back on a past relationship with rose-colored glasses. You romanticize your fights (“We were both just so young and passionate!”), his faults (“The drunk tirades were charming!”) and the way he drove you completely insane (“He was just trying to add spontaneity to the relationship!”). The truth is, sadly, this is not the case. The old problems will likely still exist, it’s now a question of whether or not you’ve both had enough time apart to manage your issues better than the last time.

People change. And not always in the way you’d like them to.

You won’t be picking up right where you left off. You’ve both had some time to yourselves to experience life separately and grow as individuals and date around and sleep with strangers and do all those things single people do. As you grow up, you change. And it’s wonderful! There’s no one holding a gun to your head saying you must always love bubble gum ice cream, Jonathan Taylor Thomas’ boyish grin and the gentle melodies of Nick Lachey’s solo career. Your tastes and needs and wants evolve. Same goes for your ex-boyfriend. (Though I hope for your sake he was never into any of the aforementioned.)

It’s easy to fall back into old fights, insecurities and bad habits.

It should really go without saying, but if your ex cheated on you last time, you shouldn’t take a chance on him again. Not necessarily because he’ll cheat a second time (though he might), but rather because your old suspicions will bubble up as new insecurities. The clean slate that typically comes with a new boyfriend isn’t really applicable when you get back together with your ex. Bro still chews his food too loudly and kisses with too much tongue. And you’ll still hate it. If you want new habits to deal with, go find a new man.

But sometimes, it really does work.

Now that I’ve convinced you that getting back together with an ex will never work, I’m going to be super contradictory tell you that in some instances it actually can work. One great example is if a neutral outside force caused you guys to break up. For instance if you broke up because it became a long distance relationship, if one of you graduated or someone was dealing with too much on their plate like school and sports and 100 other things. In these cases it wasn’t necessarily anything that someone outright did that caused the split. It was just bad timing and inconvenient logistics.

Another really good reason to get back with someone: because you both want to, and you’ll forever wonder “What If” if you don’t just go and freakin’ find out for yourself. Not everything you do needs to be a good idea. Can we all just embrace that mistakes are okay? I’ve entered situations so many times where I was 99% sure things would end badly. But I was curious about that mystery 1% and I just needed to be sure before writing someone or something off for good.

So here’s what I’ll leave you with. No, it’s probably not a good idea to get back with your ex. But who cares? Before you set that bridge ablaze, go ahead and test it out one last time. What have you got to lose?

What’s your advice for getting back with an ex? Do you think it’s worth even trying to repair a relationship and start over? Can it ever work out? Let me know in the comments and be sure to check out what He Said over at COEDMagazine.com!

[Lead image via auremar/Shutterstock]

lex loves rainbow sprinkles, retro bromances, and cultivating an iTunes library superior to yours. Most days, though, she just wishes she was Courtney Stodden. Got something to say or a good conspiracy theory you’re just dying to share with someone? Follow her on twitter @AlexandraRane or on Tumblr.

There’s something about spending the night with someone that makes you feel so content and appreciated. Not just the sex, mind you. There doesn’t even have to be sex. But sleeping over? Late night pillow talk and a warm body pressed against you? Amazing. Well, if it’s done right. In order for it to be done right, both parties should at least adhere to the following sleeping over guidelines…

DON’T hog the bed.

Especially if you are the guest! Taking up 90% of your own bed with splayed limbs and spread out hair is perfectly fine (actually, it’s divine). But in someone else’s bed it’s not ideal. Even if it’s your own bed, relinquish a little space to your guest; there’s not much point in having them there otherwise. Same with blankets — leaving someone with an inch of blanket and nary a pillow is selfish! If you really need to, buy more pillows.

DO give warning if you have to leave early.

Dashing out of bed early in the morning and leaving while your bedfellow is still asleep is just plain rude. If you must leave early, let them know the night before so that they don’t immediately label you an asshat for loving and leaving.

DON’T cuddle when it’s sleepy time.

Cuddles are amazing. Spooning is fantastic. But when I’m trying to sleep, you’re too damn hot! When it’s time to get some actual sleeping done, move away and let sleep be had.

DO clean up after yourself.

Yes, throw out the condoms, tissues, lube and other miscellany that are scattered around. Pick up your knickers and don’t leave you’re shoes lying right where I’m going to trip over them. If you’re the last person out of the bed, make it. Maybe I’m just a neat freak, but tidiness shows respect in my opinion.

DON’T fart in bed.

Unless you’re a very comfortable couple, farting in bed is unacceptable. I know, I know, it’s natural and all that jazz, but unless you guys are in proper relationship territory, it’s nice to maintain the illusion a little. Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.

DO know when to shut up.

I like talking to you, yes. Murmuring quietly to each other in the dark is nice. But when my replies become nondescript “mmmmm”s, it’s time to be quiet because I’m probably mostly asleep.

DON’T snore.

Easier said than done if you’re a snorer, but at least make an effort. If you have a cold or sinus issues, apologise in advance and try to sleep on your side. Tell your bedfellow to wake you up if it’s bothering them – even if they don’t, they’ll appreciate you inviting them to do so.

In short, when it comes to sleeping over, it’s good to be a considerate, polite house guest. I’d not be best pleased if any bed buddy of mine exhibited any of these selfish behaviours, so keep good manners in mind. By the way, bonus points for making coffee and/or breakfast in the morning!

Wanna hear what He Said are the Dos and Don’ts of an adult sleepover?  Check it out at COEDMagazine.com!

[Lead image via Yeko Photo Studio/Shutterstock]