Today I sat down to think about all the reasons I thought men were sexy. Rough life, right? Well, it’s a little harder than you might think. Perhaps we don’t give guys enough credit around here, but it really is true — when they’re not saying or doing something stupid — we’re completely crazy about them and all their manly habits. Of course there are the easy answers, the physical things, but so much of that is subjective. I like tall guys with messy, dark hair; my best friend likes short, clean-cut gingers. Tomato to-mah-to. It’s hard to pinpoint one physical idea all women worship (no, I don’t find Skarsgard or Fassbender attractive…sorry).

Somewhat surprisingly, it’s easier to find common ground on those more nebulous characteristic — the personality traits, not the physical ones. When getting the opinion of my friends, I thought I’d be more alone on some of these things than it turned out. See what I think are the 10 sexiest things about guys, and let me know if I skipped one of your favorites! Read More »

I’ve had my share of really good guy friends. You know what I’m talking about. The ones who sleep in your bed, who know your favorite beer and bring a six-pack over just because. The ones who text you when some random, funny thing happens and call you to rant when they’ve had a bad day. The two of you probably share the same taste in movies and music and the same sense of humor. You advise him on his haircuts, he helps you assemble your Ikea furniture (or, in my case, reach whatever’s on the top shelf).

But at the end of the day, you flirt with other guys at the bar, he dates some girl he met on the subway, and it all works out. You’re just friends. You don’t care where he’s sticking his P, and he has no rights to your V. Friends. Awesome, wonderful, totally-not-having-dirty-thoughts-when-he-looks-at-you-that-way friends. Isn’t it great?

Yeah right. Read More »

Anyone who tells you dating isn’t one big game is, if I may be blunt, completely full of sh*t. Dating is absolutely a game and, if you don’t play your cards right, you’re going to be striking out quite a bit. Luckily, there are rules in place to keep you from looking like a crazy desperado. And most of them sprout from common sense…which means that, with a little self-restrain and a fair amount of good judgment, they’re pretty easy to follow. I’ve rounded up a few of the most basic and important rules right here for you to get you on your merry dating way.

Texting…do it in moderation. I get so mad at my friends when, after trading numbers with a guy, they proceed to text him. That night. Literally five minutes after we left the bar. Three minutes after we left the dude in question. It’s not just a friendly, “Hey, had a great time tonight! It was fun meeting you!” It’s a cry of desperation that says you haven’t gotten laid in six months. Wait for him to break the initial post-meeting silence and, once he does, don’t act like a Stage Five Clinger. Texting him every five minutes and expecting an immediate reply is not attractive. Read More »

The wild success of 50 Shades of Grey has inspired this week’s He Said/She Said topic. The “mommy porn” book, which I admittedly have not read, features more than a few steamy sex scenes. Word on the street is that there’s a lot of spanking and hair pulling and chains and whips and excitement. Rihanna would be proud, to say the least. Since everyone and their mother (literally) is reading this page-turner, it’s no surprise that talk of kinky sex has been circulating among groups of friends all over the country. As a matter of fact, we were discussing this very matter in the CollegeCandy/COED offices today.

One major point of contention arose when the subject of spanking was brought up. Some people think it’s degrading, others think it’s a harmless turn-on. Honestly, I don’t see where the problem lies. If I’m in a respectful, mature relationship and my boyfriend/hookup makes moves to smack my butt, I’m going to green-light it. In my opinion, when it comes to the extra bells and whistles — or handcuffs — everything can be good in moderation. After all, you don’t need to be a dominatrix to get in touch with your more adventurous side; just put your game face on and make sure you’re not taking on more than you can handle. Read More »

When it comes to judging guys, I’m not even going to pretend like I’m above the fray. Of course I notice what he’s wearing and how he looks and whether or not he uses winky faces in his texts. And guess what? If something he says or does is weird enough, I just might not want to continue getting to know him. The truth hurts, and you can hate me all you want, but I refuse to believe I’m alone in this. As a matter of fact, I know I’m not alone. Many nights out have ended with me and my friends laugh-crying on the floor because of a dude’s epic style fail or his proclivity for using the word “buzzkill.” Who says “buzzkill” with a straight face? I’ll tell you something, I certainly can’t hear it without being reduced to giggle fits.

Sure those are some of the more trivial elements on the judgement scale, but there really are some heavy-hitters to look out for. Without further ado… Read More »

Would you like a guy less if he’s slept with 25 girls? How about 40 girls? Or 70 girls? And at which point would you straight-up refuse to be his next conquest? All that counting and keeping track is enough to make your head spin, so I propose this: Maybe just keep the numbers to your respective selves. That’s been my rule from the start, and it’s worked out pretty fabulously.

So long as you’re up front about your sexual health history (yes, beyond the drunk/sarcastic, “You don’t have AIDS, right?”), there’s no need to disclose actual numbers. Frankly, I think it’s easier if you don’t. Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, there’s stress in knowing your partner has slept with a sh*t ton more people than you have, or vice-versa. Suddenly you’re the goody-two-shoes and he’s the man-whore. You’re the raging slut and he’s kinda prude. Why should it matter that you had a wild and crazy summer after you broke up with your boyfriend of five years? Who cares if he made more than a few female friends when he spent a semester in France? Maybe one or both of you simply likes having sex…whenever and wherever you can get it. Hey girl, live and let live! Read More »

When it comes to new boyfriends, there are a million thoughts and feelings rushing through our heads and hearts. We can’t eat, sleep, talk, breathe, etc. Sometimes falling for a new guy can feel like being drunk. You don’t act like yourself. You may not notice yourself turning into a complete crazy, but I can tell you that your friends will.

Your friends will tolerate you talking about this new said BF on the regular for only a few short moments. They are going to get annoyed. They are going to want to punch you in the face if you say “us” or “we” in a sentence pertaining to him one more time, but does this bother you? Do we care that much about what our friends think of our boyfriends? Is it a deal breaker if they don’t?

Sad but true fact: I have almost lost two of my closest and best friends because of a guy. I acted like a crazy person. When we first got together, I completely let them in the dust. I didn’t call, text, hang out with them—nothing. I seriously was on another planet. I did not care that they didn’t like my new guy. My mindset was that if they couldn’t be happy for me, then I didn’t need them in my life.  When I was 19, my friend’s opinion of my relationship and my boyfriend did not matter. Read More »

Let’s talk about getting back together with an ex, shall we? That wonderful, slippery slope I’m sure we’ve all tried to traverse at least once before. I’d ideally like to be writing this with a glass bottle of wine next to me, but — alas — I’m at my office desk and it’s only 11:20AM. Not the best of circumstances for day drinking and advice dispensing. But I do have an opinion on this matter, one that was honed through both observation and personal experience.

First things first, please understand that I am a glutton for punishment. My feelings don’t really get hurt. I’m stubborn. I think I know what’s best for myself and everyone else. I like to fix things. I’m a huge fan of sleepovers that end with brunch. What am I saying here? Basically, reentering a very broken relationship sounds, to me, like a fun adventure full of personal challenges, great make-up sex and guaranteed eggs benedict. What’s not to love!? Well, as I’ve learned the hard way (twice), a bunch of things. Read More »

There’s something about spending the night with someone that makes you feel so content and appreciated. Not just the sex, mind you. There doesn’t even have to be sex. But sleeping over? Late night pillow talk and a warm body pressed against you? Amazing. Well, if it’s done right. In order for it to be done right, both parties should at least adhere to the following sleeping over guidelines…

DON’T hog the bed.

Especially if you are the guest! Taking up 90% of your own bed with splayed limbs and spread out hair is perfectly fine (actually, it’s divine). But in someone else’s bed it’s not ideal. Even if it’s your own bed, relinquish a little space to your guest; there’s not much point in having them there otherwise. Same with blankets — leaving someone with an inch of blanket and nary a pillow is selfish! If you really need to, buy more pillows.

DO give warning if you have to leave early.

Dashing out of bed early in the morning and leaving while your bedfellow is still asleep is just plain rude. If you must leave early, let them know the night before so that they don’t immediately label you an asshat for loving and leaving. Read More »

As wonderful as men are, I can’t help but bring up a few…areas for improvement, shall we say…in the bedroom. Guys, I know it’s not easy guessing what your partner may or may not like — it’s not easy for us girls either. But, here I will suggest a few things that we would like less of. Now before you get your knickers in a twist, a few caveats: no, not all men do these things all the time – but there are some guys out there giving the rest of them a bad name. And secondly, no, not all women will agree with these suggestions, so really you’ll have to apply these on a case-by-case basis. Cool? Let’s continue then.

Less of the Axe deodorant.

You are not 14 anymore. As long as you shower regularly (and if you don’t, you should), there’s absolutely no need to drench yourself in that noxious gas which, despite what the ads may tell you, will not entice hoards of ridiculously beautiful women to throw themselves prostrate at your balls. Read More »