We talk a lot about birth control around here (a natural progression from our daily musings about sex). We think its ability to stop babies is pretty badass, but many of us aren’t sure if that is worth all the crappy side effects: headaches, bloat, moodiness, debilitating cramps….We seriously thought we had it pretty bad until we found out that all of our suffering was nothing compared to those unlucky ladies who opted for the birth control patch.

While it was marketed as every woman’s dream birth control option (“Lower estrogen! Lasts all month! No need to remember those pesky daily pills!”), it has recently become every woman’s worst nightmare.

“The patch actually delivered much higher doses of estrogen than the pill; Johnson & Johnson failed to reveal this to the public for six years. At least fifty deaths have been attributed to the patch because of this, with thousands more women reporting alarming symptoms.”

The people behind the patch have been dealing with major lawsuits from patch users who experienced blood clots, strokes and heart attacks!

We love our ability to enjoy sex without the worry of havin’ a baby (and getting those awful stretch marks), but really? Stroke? Death? Does Johnson & Johnson really think women are willing to risk their lives for a little no-strings-attached booty?

If you are on the patch, get off of it NOW. There are plenty of other options for you: the pill, the Nuva Ring, an IUD, condoms, or, the tastiest option, Diet Coke? Just tear that thing off and call your doc. Fo realz.

The biggest reason I’m tired of my Ortho Lo is because whenever I miss two pills in a row, no matter what freaking color they are, I don’t just get spotting — I get my period for two whole weeks. It’s just about the opposite of fun, and it happens a lot. Oh yeah, and additionally? Sometimes even when I don’t miss a pill, I’ll get my period early. No warning. Just BAM, welcome to cramps and have a great day!!!

I haven’t had a long term relationship for a while and I’m really over my hook-up days, so the only reason I’m still on BC is to keep my periods regular and short, and if that isn’t really happening…why the crap am I even bothering?

After doing a little research online, it seems like getting off birth control can be a tricky thing. It can throw your body wayyy out of wack, give you headaches, and possibly cause your face to break out — something I am never ever going through again.

So here I am, stuck at work, pissed off that my period is almost 2.5 weeks early, but scared to actually do anything about it. This is where you come in, lovely readers. Are any of you going through this? Have you gone through this in the past? Do you recommend taking a break from birth control?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to satisfy my second chocolate craving in three weeks.