“It makes me full.”
“I don’t like the taste.”

As the ever eloquent Ke$ha would say, “Just stop stop talking that blah blah blah.”

Personally, I couldn’t have a more conflicting viewpoint. I mean, who needs dinner when I can have a couple pitchers of Natty Light all to myself? As for the taste, I don’t really know how to calmly and rationally respond to this to a group of people who instead choose to solely take straight shots of Svedka.

I’ve tried and I’ve tried but I just can’t seem to convince them of the marvel of beer. Perhaps this new report commissioned by the Beer Academy (totally unbiased, right?) that says beer may be one of the healthiest alcoholic drinks available for both body and mind (when consumed in moderation) will finally change their minds.

So here’s the dillyo:

1. Beer contains minerals such as silicon, which may help to lower your risk of osteoporosis.

2. Beer’s a rich source of antioxidants, vitamins, and fiber.

3. Beer has a relatively low calorific value compared with many other alcoholic beverages.

Of course, these benefits only apply when beer is consumed in moderation and not when drinking out of filthy Solo cups filled with floating fuzzies from the ping pong ball that fell into them. The report also fails to analyze the omnipresent threat of beer goggles and/or beer bellies but it’s whateva.

Beer’s officially good for you and I’m stickin’ to my story…. and raising a bottle of Bud to the people who invented it.

If you’re a better person than I (and you probably are), you probably go running and do exercise and whatnot.  When you finish said aerobic activities, you probably feel exhausted, drained, and thirsty.  What should you reach for when you need to rehydrate? BEER!

According to a new (and awesome) study, beer hydrates slightly better than water.  Well…hell yeah!  I’m totally on board with this.  As much as I love water, an ice-cold beer is just much more satisfying when you’re hot and dripping sweat (from all kinds of activities…).  I even think that beer can provide more than merely enhanced hydration.  Here are four other benefits of drinking beer:

Increased Guy Cred – Dudes are constantly saying how much they want a woman who isn’t high maintenance and who will just be cool with chilling out at a BBQ or at the local dive bar with the guys.  Beer will instantly give the illusion that you’re just one of the guys…albeit a really hot one with silky hair and great breasts.

Hunger Control – Beer is fizzy and pretty packed with carbs, so it’s pretty much an awesome meal replacement (not that I condone this in any way).  160 calories as compared to 300-500 calories?  Great success.

Good For Your Health: Studies prove that a beer a day can reduce your risk of stroke, heart and vascular disease. Imagine what a keg stand can do for that body of yours!

Sweet Deliciousness -  Mmm, beer.  Screw the image and the other stuff: beer is just straight up delicious and refreshing.  Cheers, homies.