[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“…So they broke up, and that’s fine – but you know what, lots of people break up! Lots of people get dumped! He’s been moping about her for longer than they were going out! I don’t want to have to fall back on gender stereotypes to make my point here, but if this doesn’t stop I am going to buy him a vibrator for his birthday! For his vagina!”

Two boys and a girl in a pizza restaurant:

Boy 1: “I like your sweater.”

Boy 2: “Oh, thanks! I like my sweater too.”

Boy 1: “Y’know, it’d look really good if you wore a white tank top under that, pulled the collar down a bit – just so a bit of the tank top’s visible.”

Girl: “Bob? Why are you talking about this?”

Boy 1: “Hey, I love fashion and I think it’s something I have the authority to speak on!”

Girl: “Listen, Bob, if you want to have sex with my boyfriend, just do it, okay? It’s fine.” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“So this sandwich – portabello and provolone, I mean, it should have been good — but I mean, it was, like, a slab of provolone. Like, exactly a blob. Like I was trying to eat a brick. And so then I ate it, and I went back to my room, and I threw it up, and it was like ‘Yup, now I get to have dinner again’.”

“My mom, you know, she’s pretty, but she’s not that pretty.”

“Yesterday, I did that thing where – you know? You’re, like, Wal-mart, and you’re Halloween shopping, but you end up in that weird kinda retail fog. And so you go, hey, furniture, maybe I want a … futon, and hey, mechanical stuff… I want some turpentine, and then you walk around some more and then you’re outside and it turns out all you bought was an industrial size thing of Cheez-Puffs.” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“I hated the f**king noodle dance! I don’t need to do a dance when I get an idea – f**k you! That’s why you’re otters! If you were smarter, you’d be a more highly evolved mammal! And you wouldn’t need to break sh*t on your stomachs to eat it!”

“So we’re gonna put the thing there.”

“No, we can’t put the thing there, you a**holes!”

“Why are we a**holes, Steve, why are we a**holes? You think we’re a**holes because we can’t put the thing where you want.”

“Dude, it’s the f**king thing! It has to go there! A**hole.”

“That’s not a deer, that’s an ingénue!”

“Yo, Team Food Butthole stinks. Team Food A**hole is Awesome!” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

A girl outside a dorm room, in the hallway:

“Hey, so can I come in yet? Are you done painting diamonds on your ass?”

A cluster of people are smoking outside a dorm. Another guy runs up to them, carrying some bulky bags.

“Guys! I just kicked a squirrel. Like, I was walking, and then I felt this, like, weight on my foot, and then I just saw this squirrel flying up in front of me.”

“I can’t remember anything more! My brain’s full! If I remember anything else, I’m going to forget something incredibly important!” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]Four guys talking over Saturday breakfast:

One guy: “Man, I’m f—ing hungry. I’m gonna slam so much sausage into my mouth.”

Second guy: “Yeah, dude. You do that.”

After a pause:

First guy: “What did I say?”

“RuPaul, singing Little Drummer Boy, on a 45? Worst record ever.”

“I made them a nipple-straw.” Read More »