Dear Tuffy Luv,

My roommate forced me to get an account on plentyoffish.com, where I actually met a really nice guy, Ryan.  We started talking and I found out that we went to the same high school, and graduated the same year (coincidence!).  We talked on Plenty of Fish for a few days and then I gave him my phone number (we did go to high school together, after all).

Everything was going GREAT and we really hit it off.  He’s Catholic, I’m Catholic. He’s a Republican, I’m a Republican.   He works construction, and he seems like a really nice person.  We have a lot in common and we remember each other from high school, kind of.

Here’s the PROBLEM. Every time we make plans to hangout, he ALWAYS backs out.  I mean I talk to the guy for at least an hour a day (texting, calling, Facebook, etc) and he won’t meet up.  He asked me out on a date once and I said sure and then we decided to meet at this concert we both wanted to go to. I told him to bring a friend, and I brought a friend…he never showed.

He always asks me out and asks me to hangout with him but then when we plan on meeting somewhere he stands me up or complains because he doesn’t want to meet my friends because it would be “awkward.”  YES of course it will be awkward at first, but have a few drinks, loosen up!

I think it would be awkward if we met just the two of us for the first time (since high school) without friends or at least alcohol present.  Am I wrong?  Should I meet him for lunch just the two of us, or should he just grow some BALLS and suck it up…meet my friends and ME?

I have a feeling that he might be the one…just from what we talk about and everything, but if we never meet, how can we have a relationship? Do I stop talking to him? On the other hand if I pass him up, I might regret it for the rest of my life. Opinion pleasee?!

-Stood up and Shot down.

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Got something to ask Tuffy Luv? Email her at tuffy@collegecandy.com and hold onto your hat. Because it’s windy out here.

PS Tuffy’s column will now appear every other Tuesday! So write in lots!!!

Dearest Tuffy Luv,

I have been dating a gentleman, “Bob”, for well over a year now. I left my boyfriend of five years to be with Bob. In the past few months, Bob has lied on several occasions about where he is, who he’s with, etc. He deletes phone calls and text messages because he’s scared I might “get upset over nothing”. I’m leaving for college in a week and will be two hours away. This past week, I found out he kissed one of his former student athletes (he was a swim coach). He begged me to take him back and I caved. This is the second time he’s cheated on me but I can’t seem to hold him accountable. How do I just make myself cut the ties when he makes me happy outside the lies?

Sincerely,

A woman scorned

Dear Woman Scorned,

I think you just blew my mind.

Seriously. Do you honestly believe him that he’s just scared you’ll, what was the term he used, “get upset over nothing?” My guess is, you don’t. Because otherwise you wouldn’t have written in. Read More »

To get your question answered, email Tuffy at tuffy@collegecandy.com Ain’t no question too big or too small–but keep your question down to a paragraph or three tops, yes?

[Confidential to Paulina: Stay away from that loser. He's obviously still seeing his ex (or at least hooking up with her) and you so don't need that. Like you said, there never was a friendship--why start one now?]

All right, on with today’s question:

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m having a big weird problem with my friend, let’s call her “Kate.” Kate has been my friend since third grade and we hang out with all the same people. I thought we were close.

But I was having coffee with her last week (I’m still in college but she graduated last year) and I noticed she had a ring on her ring finger. When I asked her about it it, she said, “Oh yeah, me and “Jake” eloped.” Tuffy, she’s only been dating Jake for 5 months! Also, she didn’t even tell me it happened! I said, “Oh my god, when did you elope?” And she said, “Like a month ago.”

What the hell?! Was she ever going to tell me? Apparently none of our other friends know. I feel like she totally left me (and our other friends) out of one of the most important parts of her life. I just can’t get over feeling hurt by her. What should I do?

-Elizabeth Read More »

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Hey tuffy! I send this to Ryan, but i’m not sure on what’s his status whether he still gives advice or not, so just to be sure since this is driving me nuts i’ll send it to you!

Here’s my prob!

There’s this guy i initially met during training at work who instantly I knew was attracted to me by the little things he did (constantly looking, his friends trying to bring up his name in a conversation/leaving us when we’re together..blah blah blah). After a month or so, the feelings became mutual and our occasional waves when we saw each other turned into him walking me to my car after work, us exchanging numbers (which resulted into convos that lasted in the the early AM), sitting together at breaks, and texting non-stop as well as him telling me personal things about himself.

It’s to the point where everyone think’s we’re together. I kept wondering why he hadn’t asked me out yet, and then finally had to ask the question if he had a girlfriend. With my luck, the answer was ‘Yes’. I found it incredibly odd because he would never mention her, even after he gave me my answer it was almost like she was invisible. Instantly I said to myself I would only keep our conversations at a friendly level, thinking it would get easier since I switched shifts and would not see him as often. I even went as far to tell him that I would not be calling him because I found it disrespectful to call another woman’s boyfriend. Read More »

[To ask Tuffs a question, shoot her an e-mail at tuffy@collegecandy.com]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Hi!

Okay, here’s my question: This year is the first election for president that I can vote in. My parents support McCain but I dont think I agree. How can I decide who to vote for? Sorry if this is a stupid question!

– Confused Voter

Dear Confused Voter,

First of all, can I please just congratulate you on making an effort to be an informed voter? Yeah? Thanks. Congratulations!

So many people (sadly, often including lil’ ol’ Tuffs) just vote based on party without bothering to research the stuff that’s actually important to them (education, reproductive rights, etc.).

And before supes left-wing Tuffy goes on, I just wanna give a little shout out to Senator John McCain, who was totally freaking adorable on SNL this week. SO adorable.

That said, honey, the only way to really know what’s going on is to read the news. A lot of it. From all different sources. Read More »

[To ask Tuffs a question, shoot her an e- at tuffy@collegecandy.com, you dig?]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

By reading your entries on CC, I saw that you studied abroad! I’m a few weeks away from the end of my semester abroad (London, to be exact). I have had a blast spending the last few months travelling around Europe, being surrounded by cute british accents, fabulous shopping and all wonderful things European.

I’m really excited to go back home and reunite with friends, family, etc, but I’ve heard a lot about “reverse culture shock” and that sometimes it can be a mess going home after being away for so long. Any advice on what to do when I get home? Would it be easier to jump right into home life again, maybe take a few days of solitude to sort my life out again? Ugh, how bittersweet to be leaving.

Love,

a fellow study abroad-er

Dear Study Abroad-er,

Definitely give yourself a few days off.

It’s so freaking hard to readjust to your old life after getting back from a great adventure. You figure you’ll just be like, hey, I’m home, cool! But for some reason, your body is like, where’s the food I’ve been eating for the last five months? Where are the superintense new friends? Read More »