That’s It. The World Is Doomed.

After a ragin’ CollegeCandy party last night, at which I stopped counting my drinks after my fifth Mojito (or was that #6..), I woke up this morning feeling like I was run over by a truck. Turns out, it wasn’t a truck that hit me, but a revolving door. When I walked into it. With my face.

Needless to say, I’m not feeling well right now. Even my morning-after bagel sandwich isn’t helping, and that always helps! The eggs, the cheese, the carby deliciousness….

Know what else isn’t helping? This picture. Of Heidi Montag. Holding baby clothes.

Please, dear God, I know you already hooked me up after I pleaded with you not to let me hurl on the floor last night, but if you could just do me one more favor this week…. do not. let. Speidi. reproduce! Please let this photo be a joke, a publicity stunt (shocker), or maybe just a snapshot of Heidi looking for a baby tee…for herself. ANYTHING but proof that there is a bun in that bleach blonde oven.