College Candy

And we only love him more for it.

Would you let Avril Lavigne dress your children?

The future of the Jonas Brothers.

Holly Montag – almost as awful as her sis?

OMG, Lady Gaga is getting even weirder.

10 intimate sex tips from a man.

And we hate the thought of Speidi children.

Wanna win some sexy toys?

Just dance, Katie Holmes!

Irritating moves dudes make on Facebook.

Scary celebrity dolls.

The Britney comeback continues.

The E! Network is done with the Pratts.

Mmm. Smell like a brand new book.

Low alcohol wine. Good or bad idea?

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are dunzo.

I’d rather die than move…

The most obnoxious karaoke songs of all time.

We have a newfound love and respect for Al Roker.

Guys look hotter with a little ink.

10 things your dad taught you about sex.

Sweat proof makeup for summer!

Palin’s people want Letterman fired?

Macho movie men in humiliating costumes.

Donald Trump gives Miss California the heave ho.

Dating red flags men look for.

Megan Fox loves the pot.

Yummy iced tea cocktails!

Pepsi attempts green vending machines.

This is what Heidi Montag really sounds like.

My god. The weeks are just flying by, aren’t they? We’re afraid to sleep, lest we wake up and it’s time to head back to school. Summer is our favorite time of year, even if it’s pretty disastrous for our hair and makeup. When else can you enjoy delicious frozen treats or have endless time to hop on a plane and take an awesome vacation?

Ok, so maybe vacations are out for most of us, but at least we still have cable TV!  And what’s wrong with a little staycation action? We can always just hit up a guy for some free food and – if things go well – maybe practice a new kind of birth control.  That is, assuming we don’t get our dating tips from listening to Taylor Swift or watching Disney movies.

Of course summer isn’t complete perfection, as we learned this week. But the good news is that it’s okay to cry when big changes happen in life, like graduating or attempting to cut some sweet bangs and ending up looking like one of my Barbie dolls from second grade (the year my dreams of being a hair stylist died).  Yes, even if dudes frown upon it and think it’s on of the many reasons we can’t be good leaders.

At least we have Heidi Montag to cheer us up!

It seems that every celebrity tries their hand at the retail business. Jennifer Lopez, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Beyonce, and more, put out random clothing lines and perfumes every month.

Instead of trusting the business intuition of people who made it big on their ability to look pretty and stand on cue (really – who needs another celebrity perfume??), we decided to make our own list of celebrity products that are more appropriate to the celebrities themselves:

Angelina Jolie Fertility Drugs – When one (or two, or eight) just isn’t enough…

Amy Winhouse Coke Mirrors – Because no one knows lines like Amy.

Britney Spears Electric Razors – Nothing but the best will do to shave your head.

Michael Jackson Boys Underwear – Choosy mothers choose MJ’s (backless) Boys Underwear.

Tom Cruise Couches – Now with sturdier construction and more durable fabric for those days when you just feel like jumping around!

Zac Efron Hair Extensions – The sexy side-swept look will drive the ladies wild!

Kanye West Earplugs – Because people say a lot of stupid sh*t. Read More »

So, it’s only Tuesday, but we’re already tired and cranky and ready for a nap. We were contemplating coffee for an afternoon pick-me-up, but then we saw this. And it totally did the trick.

We’re feeling instantly better.

This is the latest photo of Heidi Mongtag Pratt on the set of her newest show, “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.” Is her face…melting? I swear it’s melting. Either that, or they have a major makeup budget over at MTV to cover up this hot mess.

Seriously, this is frightening. But not in that “OMG I CAN’T LOOK!” sorta way; more of a “OMG THIS IS SO UNBELIEVABLE AND I CAN’T LOOK AWAY” sorta sitch.

I feel so much better about myself right now. Alas, Heidi is finally good for something.

Anyone else forget that it was Monday yesterday? I spent my day BBQing with friends (or eating whatever they BBQed while I sat on the couch watching tv) only to come home, turn on my TV and realize I was halfway through The Hills. I was devastated (”SPENCER IS SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE TONIGHT!!”), but then I realized that MTV was showing the episode 12 more times over the course of the evening.

When I finally did get to watch it, though, I was a little disappointed. I’ve said this before, but I know this show isn’t really real. I think anyone with half a brain and access to Us Weekly would know that. But I hate when MTV is careless with their editing, making it completely impossible for viewers to suspend their common sense and believe that this all might be real.

Case in point: Heidi gets engaged one night and asks Steph (presumably the next day) to invite Lauren. At the same time, Audrina and Lo have already received actual invitations. One might say, “Well, Lauren, that could have been shot months later.” Well, other people, I call bullsh*t, because then they pan back to Heidi and Lauren both talking to Steph about losing her job like it was only yesterday. I don’t know much about weddings (beyond the fact that I probably won’t have one until I’m 40), but I do know that it takes months to plan one and invitations do not just come out the next day.

But whatever. That’s not the point of this post. Read More »

Upon meeting Heidi’s dad on last night’s episode of The Hills, I expected a little more from MTV. For instance, I expected a scene out of some sort of Western movie where Mr. Montag walks through swinging saloon doors, gives Spencer a look and then does some fancy moves with the gun in his holster as a tumbleweed blows by.

Instead I got some BS brunch at a Hollywood eatery where Spencer tripped over his words as he attempted to impress the Cowboy. Words that Heidi’s dad most definitely did not understand. So, Cowboy Montag, if you are reading this right now, I’d like to take this opportunity to translate that mumbo jumbo that came out of Pretty Boy Pratt’s mouth so maybe you can stop this wedding before it happens. Oh wait…. Well, at least you’ll know what he was talking about. Read More »