During a visit to ‘On Air with Ryan Seacrest’ on Monday, Heidi Montag explained the ramifications of her extensive plastic surgery: the ‘Hills’ star says her newly large chest is too big for jogging… and hugging is a thing of the past. “I’m very weird about hugging people now — [my body] is very fragile,” Montag announced on the radio show, according to Us Weekly.

Montag listed nose, cheekbone and chin jobs, eyebrow lift, breast enlargement, fat injections — and told Seacrest, “I had my back scooped.” When the host asked for clarification, Montag admitted, “I actually didn’t know. I might be the first one to try it. It carves out your back a little bit.”

And, uh, she’s got the entire thing on film. Read the rest of Heidi’s interview right here.

Hey, Kristin: apology NOT accepted!

Lady Gaga…before she got all kinds of crazy.

Back-to-school fashion at its finest.

Oh you know. Rihanna looking fabu as always.

Now THOSE are some lashes.

Wear your perfume. Literally.

Every week, I write CollegeCandy’s Weekly Ten on whatever hard-hitting issue I find relevant. It doesn’t get more hard-hitting than CollegeCandy, people. Stay with me.

Always entertained by the fantastic “Celebretard Showdowns,” I was inspired to write a top ten list of the celebs that I (and hopefully you) love to hate. We hate them, we want them out of our lives, but we can’t stop reading, blogging and talking about these trainwrecks.

10. Paris Hilton
Is there anyone more entertaining than Miss Hilton? From her sex tape to the Simple Life, we can’t get enough of her. Her prison scandal was a headliner on CNN, MSNBC, FOX News and all other news outlets. Even though her vocabulary consists of about thirty words and phrases, similar to a talking doll, her vapid, gangly bottle blonde self still draws the attention of millions. Now that’s hot.

9. Kanye West
[kahn-yay west] noun
1. The next Michael Jackson
2. See Douchebag.
Kanye will forever be remembered for some of his famous quotes. My personal favorite, “I’m the closest that Hip Hop is getting to God. In some situations I’m like ghetto Pope.”

Well played, Mr. West. Well played.

8. Miley Cyrus
It’s Miley! Aw, what a nugget of future trainwreck. I can’t wait to see how she grows up. I smell a Very Mischa Future for her.

7. Lindsay Lohan
I love Lindsay. I love everything about her, from the Adderall to the showing up at her ex’s house drunkenly to the insane dad to the alleged theft. Can’t get enough of her. She certainly puts my mistakes into perspective, and I thank her for that. Read More »

After a ragin’ CollegeCandy party last night, at which I stopped counting my drinks after my fifth Mojito (or was that #6..), I woke up this morning feeling like I was run over by a truck. Turns out, it wasn’t a truck that hit me, but a revolving door. When I walked into it. With my face.

Needless to say, I’m not feeling well right now. Even my morning-after bagel sandwich isn’t helping, and that always helps! The eggs, the cheese, the carby deliciousness….

Know what else isn’t helping? This picture. Of Heidi Montag. Holding baby clothes.

Please, dear God, I know you already hooked me up after I pleaded with you not to let me hurl on the floor last night, but if you could just do me one more favor this week…. do not. let. Speidi. reproduce! Please let this photo be a joke, a publicity stunt (shocker), or maybe just a snapshot of Heidi looking for a baby tee…for herself. ANYTHING but proof that there is a bun in that bleach blonde oven.

Is K-Fed bulking up to become a reality star?

Lily Allen sings, drinks and designs jewelry.

So we won’t be seeing Heidi Montag Pratt naked any time soon.

Want to win $1,000 to BeBe?

Tony Romo wants Jessica far, far away.

The top 20 high protein foods.

The E! Network is done with the Pratts.

Mmm. Smell like a brand new book.

Low alcohol wine. Good or bad idea?

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are dunzo.

I’d rather die than move…

The most obnoxious karaoke songs of all time.

We have a newfound love and respect for Al Roker.

Guys look hotter with a little ink.

10 things your dad taught you about sex.

Sweat proof makeup for summer!

Palin’s people want Letterman fired?

Macho movie men in humiliating costumes.

So, it’s only Tuesday, but we’re already tired and cranky and ready for a nap. We were contemplating coffee for an afternoon pick-me-up, but then we saw this. And it totally did the trick.

We’re feeling instantly better.

This is the latest photo of Heidi Mongtag Pratt on the set of her newest show, “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.” Is her face…melting? I swear it’s melting. Either that, or they have a major makeup budget over at MTV to cover up this hot mess.

Seriously, this is frightening. But not in that “OMG I CAN’T LOOK!” sorta way; more of a “OMG THIS IS SO UNBELIEVABLE AND I CAN’T LOOK AWAY” sorta sitch.

I feel so much better about myself right now. Alas, Heidi is finally good for something.

Anyone else forget that it was Monday yesterday? I spent my day BBQing with friends (or eating whatever they BBQed while I sat on the couch watching tv) only to come home, turn on my TV and realize I was halfway through The Hills. I was devastated (“SPENCER IS SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE TONIGHT!!”), but then I realized that MTV was showing the episode 12 more times over the course of the evening.

When I finally did get to watch it, though, I was a little disappointed. I’ve said this before, but I know this show isn’t really real. I think anyone with half a brain and access to Us Weekly would know that. But I hate when MTV is careless with their editing, making it completely impossible for viewers to suspend their common sense and believe that this all might be real.

Case in point: Heidi gets engaged one night and asks Steph (presumably the next day) to invite Lauren. At the same time, Audrina and Lo have already received actual invitations. One might say, “Well, Lauren, that could have been shot months later.” Well, other people, I call bullsh*t, because then they pan back to Heidi and Lauren both talking to Steph about losing her job like it was only yesterday. I don’t know much about weddings (beyond the fact that I probably won’t have one until I’m 40), but I do know that it takes months to plan one and invitations do not just come out the next day.

But whatever. That’s not the point of this post. Read More »