Sorry for the tardiness of my post. I would like to say that I was out doing something fabulous Monday night that kept me away from both MTV and my computer, but I can’t lie.
In all reality, 3 days of drinking and 3 days of tanning really wreaked havoc on my body and left me completely passed out in my bed at 9PM last night.
Thankfully, I have DVR.
Which is amazing because, otherwise, I would have missed out on some really big things happening with our friends on The Hills.
Like the new beard Spencer is sporting, causing him to look like some new species of preppy mountain man. I really didn’t know anyone could grow facial hair that fluffy and scary looking.
Perhaps it is a cover for his homosexual feelings for Brody? I mean, after all, he was acting like a total bitch during the big break up convo. Which, by the way, reminded me of high school math.
If A = B and B= C, then A = C, right?
Well, in Spencer’s world it goes a little something like this: Read More »
Okay, Justin-Bobby, if that is even your real name, let’s talk. You don’t like me because I don’t like you. But, I can’t help it; when you wear swim shorts and a pair of army boots, what choice do I have?
When you ignore the obvious plight of your hair, what do you expect me to do? Sit back and let you believe girls like those greasy locks?
Maybe I could have let it go if you weren’t such an asshole. Maybe if you didn’t just say all those nice-ish (in your own special way) things to Audrina and then leave her at the party.
No goodbye. No explanation. Just a helmet. On a couch.
Fuck you.
But enough about you. There are much bigger things to discuss this week.
Namely: Spencer’s visit to Colorado and Brody’s Beach Partayy.
Visiting Mount Butt: Am I alone in this? Did everyone but me know that Heidi comes from a farm? Like a real farm! Not just a small town; there were ANIMALS at her house. How could a family that raises horses produce that bleached blonde, fake boobed bimbo? I just don’t understand it. Read More »
It is sad when the most exciting thing to happen on an episode of The Hills is watching Heidi do some manual labor. But, seriously, watching Heidi paint that wall was totally the pinnacle of the show. Especially how she used the whole wall situation to discuss a larger relationship issue with Spencer: making decisions together.
Oh, wait. No.
Heidi isn’t that deep! Her issue wasn’t with sharing and making decisions as one; she basically painted the wall because she was pissed that he bought all that boy stuff for the apartment. As much as I hate Spencer, though, even I understand the beauty of an 80’s video game.
But the wall was hideous.
Anyways, since there isn’t much to really discuss from the episode I like to call “30 Minutes of Nothing” I will take what little time I have to discuss the creature they call, Justin-Bobby. Read More »
After months of waiting – and an amazingly saucy lesbian version of Engaged and Underage – season three of The Hills finally premiered. I had no doubts that the show was going to be top notch, but after watching such a ridiculous ep of Engaged and Underage (full of lesbian fights, make out scenes and a whole lotta white dresses), I really didn’t know if my show could live up to all of my original expectations.
Well, my friends, did it ever!
Let the recap begin! And there is no better place to star than at the beginning.
Like with Whitney (shockingly!!!) getting a full time job at Teen Vogue. Oh, and LC returning for her third consecutive year as an intern…because everyone gets a three year internship! I mean, one semester isn’t standard or anything. All huge fashion mags invite their not-famous-at-all interns back for a few more years. Read More »
If reading all about the personal lives of Lauren, Heidi, Spencer, Whitney, and whoever else thinks appearing on The Hills is a smart career move hasn’t been enough for you these last few months, you can stop wondering what they’ve been up to on August 13th!
Is Lauren really not talking to Heidi? Is Whitney’s job really a job? Does Spencer really love Heidi or did he brainwash her? How’s it going with Lauren and her brand new best friend/roommate?
MTV has you covered, so spend the rest of your precious summer vacation following the lives of these people.
Every time I watch a horror story on tv about botched boob jobs, I always wonder why someone would choose to put foreign substances like silicone in their body. Regardless, the FDA has officially approved silicone-filled gel implants for breast augmentations. Is it just me or do all the scary stories that end with boobs looking more like lumpy tumors than actual breasts always involve silicone being the culprit?
It’s possible that I simply don’t understand the angst of flat-chested women and why someone would take the risk because I have rocked a solid C since sophomore year of high school.
Well maybe our dear Heidi Montag from The Hills could explain a thing or two to me. Yes, it’s official: Heidi decided to do something about her itty bitty titties. She recently underwent surgery for breast implants in Beverly Hills.
According to usmagazine.com, “Heidi just doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it,” says a source. “She did this for herself, and she’s hoping to keep it as private as possible.”
Oh Heidi, I’m sure the new twins will be kept “very private” when splashed across the screen of your next reality show venture.
I have a lot of friends that – unlike perfect little me – have some flaws. One of my friends is a huge slut. Another of my friends is impossible to argue with. Yet, they are my best friends so I look past their minor flaws and enjoy them for the amazing friends/wing women/shopping partners a girl can ask for.
I suppose I feel the same way about the people over at MTV.
My love for The Hills is so deep that, just like with my skanky friend, I will look past the blatantly obvious and totally unrealistic moments and dive into the deep depths of drama that fill the 30 minute (actually, 12 minutes after the extended MTV commercial breaks) episodes each week.
This week was no different. Despite the fact that:
a) Heidi decided to move in with Spencer, packed all her shit, rented a U-Haul and settled in with her man all in one day
b) Audrina decided to move in with LC, packed all her shit, unpacked most of her shit and settled in with Lauren and a pizza and champagne dinner all in one day
c) We caught a perfect reflection of Heidi in the side view mirror of the UHaul as she dramatically pulled away from the Villas with her (douche-baggy) man – I still loved every. last. second. Read More »
While my own life reflects Lauren’s in many ways (my name is Lauren…oh wait, that’s it) it is nice to avoid the ridiculous drama in my own life and kick back and watch it in hers. And boy does it.
This season has put the “rama” in drama. But as good as the entire season has been, last night really did it for me. Namely, Lauren’s surprise birthday party.
Now, I totally hate Heidi, but I really had to give it to her for throwing Lauren the bomb.com surprise party for her 21st birthday. And the best moment of the night? Definitely Spencer’s speech. Read More »
Sorry for the tardiness of my post. I would like to say that I was out doing something fabulous Monday night that kept me away from both MTV and my computer, but I can’t lie.
Okay, Justin-Bobby, if that is even your real name, let’s talk. You don’t like me because I don’t like you. But, I can’t help it; when you wear swim shorts and a pair of army boots, what choice do I have?
Every time I watch a horror story on tv about botched boob jobs, I always wonder why someone would choose to put foreign substances like silicone in their body. Regardless, the FDA has 
I have a lot of friends that – unlike perfect little me – have some flaws. One of my friends is a huge slut. Another of my friends is impossible to argue with. Yet, they are my best friends so I look past their minor flaws and enjoy them for the amazing friends/wing women/shopping partners a girl can ask for.
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