As a serial crush-haver, I know how much it sucks to like someone and have him “friend-zone” you. It happens all too often and I always wish I had realized it before I got so involved. Trust me, it hurts much less if you notice the signs ahead of time. If you know it’s happening sooner rather than later, you’ll have time to move on to the next guy without heartbreak. Think about it like adding a new guy to your repertoire of guy friends.

Here’s a list of ten indicators that you’ve been friend-zoned. Read it. Memorize it. Use it. Read More »

Hi Dude,

I just wanted to know what your thoughts are on the whole ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ phenomenon. I should start by saying that I’ve read the book, and a lot of what it says makes sense in theory… But, here’s the thing: There is this guy at work that I’ve only bumped into like 3 or 4 times, but he’s really cute and we seem to have fun talking to each other.

He’s always really nice, and he’s complimented me once or twice. He remembered my name after the first time he met me even though it was a few weeks before he saw me again. But…one time when he was talking about how he’s always out and around the building, I told him he should come visit me some time and he never did. I decided to go visit him a few weeks later. He seemed happy to see me, but had to go to a meeting. There hasn’t been anything since.

Sidenote: There has been one or two signs that make me think he may be interested, but he has never actually asked me out. The ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ guy says that there is no ‘shy’ guy, that if he actually liked you he would have asked you out by now. Is this true?

Thanks,
Ali Read More »

We’ve all done it, slipped a little white lie in when talking to a friend. Your hair looks fine. Of course he’ll call you back. You are absolutely right.

It’s not like you meant to be dishonest, but the words tumbled out of your mouth before you even had the chance to think about them. You’re not lying; you’re sparing her feelings. Does she really need to know that you think she completely overreacted or that no, you don’t think the reason he didn’t call was because he got run over by a truck? You’re just trying to be a good friend. But are you really? Not according to Lori Gottlieb, who believes that being one another’s “yes women” is turning our BFFs into our worst enemies.

I pride myself on always telling the truth, in friendships, in relationships, and at work. Always. Honesty is not only important; it’s necessary. It builds trust, gains respect, and keeps things simple. There is not a single situation that could possibly be made less complicated by lying. At least, that’s what I strive for, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I too have caved to the pressure of being a “yes women” on more than one occasion.

According to Gottlieb a “yes women” is a friend who tells you exactly what you want to hear. She reiterates your opinion right back to you, squashing your fears and reaffirming your beliefs. She makes you feel better about yourself, while also making herself feel better. If you’re right, then so is she. There’s safety in numbers. Misery loves company. We’re just helping each out, right?

Wrong. We think that by lying to our friends we’re helping them, when we’re actually doing just the opposite. Honesty is the best policy. It’s a tried and true cliché for a reason. Wouldn’t you want to know the truth? Isn’t it better that you have a BFF who cares enough to withstand your rage when she disagrees about your new boyfriend? Sometimes, the truth hurts. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable. Read More »

So I met this guy right before break. We hit it off immediately, joking in the library’s coffee shop line despite the fact that I dropped my huge Econ textbook on his toe. He seemed to be nice enough, and funny too. We even had a few mutual friends, so I ran into him in the cafeteria for lunch one day.

He texted me every once in a while, and sometimes we would chat on Facebook; you know the drill. I saw him again at the bank; he offered to proofread my paper, invited me to a party, yadda, yadda, yadda. (Insert obnoxious movie montage of cute bonding scenes here.) We even kept in touch over winter break.

It wasn’t a head-over-heels situation, but the boy was nice enough. I enjoyed talking to him, I looked forward to seeing him when I got back to school, and it was just nice to have a guy pursuing me. Every girl loves that.

But then, as soon as I got back to school, he just disappeared. Like completely. He stopped texting me and chatting online with me. I never even ran into him on campus anymore. No matter how hard I suddenly started to try.

And then I began obsessing. I’d log onto Facebook 20 times a day (as opposed to my usual 10) and check to see if he’d been on. Or added new photos. Or had some new girl writing on his wall. I’d keep my cell phone on uber loud and jump across the room when it blared, feeling my heart sink when it was just a text from my mom. I even went back to that same coffee shop in the library on the same day of the week when we met, hoping he might be there. And he was not. Read More »

A few weeks ago I was set up with a boy. We chatted for a bit, made some small talk. He was sarcastically funny and he was tall, and in my book, those two things will warrant a first date. (Let’s face it – Jewish boys are usually not tall, and even less so if you buzz down that J- fro.)

So he got my number and told me he would call.
He waited 3 days.
Annoying, but expected.

I was at work when TFB (Tall Funny Boy) called. And being the world’s worst phone person that I am, I didn’t call him back right away. Work got crazy and before I knew it two days had passed and I still had not called the boy back. Rude? A bit. But also a total honest mistake. I made a mental note to call him that night and carried on with my day.

But here’s the kicker: as I was leaving work, I noticed a missed call on my phone and a voicemail message in my inbox.

“Hey it’s ****. Just calling again to see what’s up. Give me a call when you get a chance.”

And then, before I even had the chance to park my car and head back into my house, he called me AGAIN.

I know, I know – I should’ve been overjoyed. I can’t count on all my fingers, toes and every other extremity how many times a guy has told me he’d call and then didn’t. Which my friends reminded me as I shared my annoyance with them. Read More »

He's not worth that smeared lipstick, girlfriend!

It all happens so quickly.

You are out a bar/party with your girls, looking amazing, because, honestly, what CollegeCandy girl doesn’t look amazing? You see him, he sees you and – boom – you start talking. Talking turns into flirting, flirting turns into so-bad-they’re-cute pick up lines and soon he’s buying you a drink. Maybe it’s the vodka, maybe it’s the way he keeps finding an excuse to touch you’re arm, but you’re smitten and your night just got a whole lot better. The number exchange comes next and the cute-textathon begins.

He’s sweet and witty and you look forward to the daily flirtation and then – out of nowhere -  it just stops. No more morning musings. No more responses to your adorable messages. Nada.

Turns out, homeboy just isn’t that into you.

After that lovely realization comes the packages of Oreo cookies, the Friends marathons, the comfy pajama pants, and the over- analyzing.  It doesn’t matter that nothing ever really came from this; getting rejected sucks and it hurts and you really thought this guy was gonna be the guy. But you were wrong. And now you’re 3lbs heavier, lonely and hating yourself.

While getting over a guy should be as easy as getting into him, it never is. But you deserve more than nights spent alone in front of the mirror wondering what’s wrong with you. Because there’s nothing wrong with you. Remind yourself of that and follow these 5 little steps and you’ll be over that turd in no time. Read More »

When I read He’s Just Not That Into You, I loved it except for one thing: so many of the scenarios aren’t applicable to college girls. I mean, just because a guy isn’t asking to marry us right now does not necessarily mean he has no interest in us!

So here’s my gift to you: He’s Just Not That Into You: The College Edition. Use this and figure out if he’s really into you, or just really into getting in your pants.

He’s just not that into you if: he’s “too busy for a girlfriend.” Um, we’re in college. We’re all really busy. I have to go to classes, do homework, attend meetings, hang out with friends, write for this here publication, the list goes on. But when I like someone, you can bet your pretty little face I’ll make some time to hang out with them, and eventually date them if I like them enough. Boys, as weird as they may be, will do the same.

He’s just not that into you if: he doesn’t ask you questions about yourself. I use this one to do a little test to see if a guy actually likes me. I’ll mention something about myself when it fits with the conversation we’re having. Like, if we’re talking about blogs I’ll say “Oh, I write for an awesome website.” If the guy just nods then rambles about some blog he frequents, I’ve got a huge hint as to his feelings about me. If he asks which fabulous site I write for, what I write about, etc. then I assume he actually cares. (And then I edit what I write about him on the site…. he’s gonna be reading it now, after all!) Read More »

Hey Dude,
Could you clue me into “boy world”? I have been told (thank you He’s Just Not That Into You and pretty much every romance book and movie out there) that the guy needs to do the asking. So we very impatient girls need to give out our numbers and take theirs and then not call them.

This is so, so hard to do. Say you meet a guy and dance, hook up, and talk to him. He seems majorly into you, you exchange numbers and then doesn’t call. Yes, I know that he’s probably just not that into me, but is it really wrong to call or text him? And the three day rule – do guys actually know and abide by it or are all of these things that girls made up?

Thanks so much!
-Danielle Read More »

Let’s be real, dating can be an absolute nightmare. And how many times have we sent a “this just isn’t going anywhere” text, wishing that we hadn’t just wasted two months of our precious time on this guy? Time we could have spent hanging out with the girls, reading Texts From Last Night, or shaving our bikini lines.

One too many.

And that is why we’re going to help you girls out. Men are very simple creatures, so simple in fact, that they can be neatly organized into a Venn diagram with pretty colors like the ones we used to color in elementary school.

This little ditty sums up the male gender in very simple terms, making it effortless for us girls to identify what sort of person our new prospect actually is, without the wasted month of dating to find out.

And it’s 100% accurate.

If your guy is hot (mmmm!) and he’s nice, he’s dumb. The end.
If he’s nice and knows all the answers in history class? He’s a nerd.
And if he’s answering all those questions while tossing back that gorgeous hair and flexing his muscles, he’s an ass.

Of course there are varying degrees of the above types. Your gorgeous, nice boy may be able to form coherent sentences, but after three weeks of him dying all his whites pink (“Why can’t I just throw in my red boxers?”), the diagram has proved correct. Read More »