Hey Dude,
Could you clue me into “boy world”? I have been told (thank you He’s Just Not That Into You and pretty much every romance book and movie out there) that the guy needs to do the asking. So we very impatient girls need to give out our numbers and take theirs and then not call them.

This is so, so hard to do. Say you meet a guy and dance, hook up, and talk to him. He seems majorly into you, you exchange numbers and then doesn’t call. Yes, I know that he’s probably just not that into me, but is it really wrong to call or text him? And the three day rule – do guys actually know and abide by it or are all of these things that girls made up?

Thanks so much!
-Danielle Read More »

Let’s be real, dating can be an absolute nightmare. And how many times have we sent a “this just isn’t going anywhere” text, wishing that we hadn’t just wasted two months of our precious time on this guy? Time we could have spent hanging out with the girls, reading Texts From Last Night, or shaving our bikini lines.

One too many.

And that is why we’re going to help you girls out. Men are very simple creatures, so simple in fact, that they can be neatly organized into a Venn diagram with pretty colors like the ones we used to color in elementary school.

This little ditty sums up the male gender in very simple terms, making it effortless for us girls to identify what sort of person our new prospect actually is, without the wasted month of dating to find out.

And it’s 100% accurate.

If your guy is hot (mmmm!) and he’s nice, he’s dumb. The end.
If he’s nice and knows all the answers in history class? He’s a nerd.
And if he’s answering all those questions while tossing back that gorgeous hair and flexing his muscles, he’s an ass.

Of course there are varying degrees of the above types. Your gorgeous, nice boy may be able to form coherent sentences, but after three weeks of him dying all his whites pink (“Why can’t I just throw in my red boxers?”), the diagram has proved correct. Read More »

"So....maybe we could go out sometime?"

Sometimes I like to think I’m David Letterman, only with better teeth and less wrinkles. So, every week I write a top ten list of things that are super duper relevant and important. Like staying sober…and those celebs we love to hate.

This week, I’m breakin’ it down for the boys out there. Myself, and many CollegeCandies are not big fans of He’s Just Not That Into You. I do think the book has some valid points, but it’s way too over the top. So I’ve decided to write a rebuttal and tackle the ten signs that She’s Just Not That Into You.

Guys, take note! Read More »

Let’s be honest here for a second: books like “He’s Just Not That Into You” exist for a reason. And that reason is that women, as a collective, are really good at convincing ourselves of feelings and relationships that just aren’t there. We get so caught up in luuuurve that we don’t let ourselves see what’s really going on.

You know you’ve been there. You get a drunk text from a guy you heart at 3am and think, “Awww, he’s thinking about me!” You’re giddy and excited (and secretly start planning his birthday gift) and when you don’t get a text the next day (or 3 days after that…) you reason that he’s busy, he’s stressed out, or he has a knack for flushing his phone down the toilet when he’s drunk and he did party pretty hard last night. And your friends totally agree.

But, no matter how delusional we get (and, home girl, you know you get delusional), there comes a time when the signs are bright and flashing and undeniable: this kid is over it. Done. Dunzo. See ya never, biatch.

For me, it was when I made plans to go camping with my boyfriend, only to meet him at his house and see him leaving with another chick. (Yeah, it was rough, but I had the can opener, so I’d like to see how that turned out for him!) Or the guy who told me he was moving home for the summer…and then I saw him at the bar later that week.

For the CollegeCandy writers, there were equally obvious signs: Read More »

This week was pretty rad, what with so much geek flying all over the place.  The new Harry Potter movie is out and I’m extremely excited (I may not be the only one).  I’m almost to the point where I want to don a cape, grab a wand and do my best English accent (best = horrific).  Instead of going out to buy a brand new cape, I’ll stick with what I have in my closet…and that’s leggings.  Luckily, they go with everything.  Even capes.

Crocs, however, go with nothing and I’m happy to see they’re dying a quick death.  What will we do, now that Crocs are dying and we have space in our closet for more fabulous accessories?  Well, get a vagina wig, of course!  Those things are incredible.  I’m even considering getting one specially made (complete with sequins and bright pink faux fur) for the College Candy party later this month.  We’ll see…

As excited as I am about the fabulousness that will be the College Candy party, I’m nervous about bringing a date.  Every time I start seeing a guy, I get all tangled up in cryptic text messages.  And that stupid (GLORIOUS) book/movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, has apparently ruined me for life, so even if I had hope before, I’ll talk myself out of it now.  Maybe some well-timed Harry Potter pick-up lines can save me!  Or, in the case of Jessica Simpson, maybe not.

Maybe I should just give up sex entirely and take a platonic guy bestie.  Then I can use him as a wing man/drink server.  You never know when a guy friend can turn into a boyfriend.  Either way, I’ll have a good time!

I remember when my best friend handed me a well-worn copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. I had been dealing with a rather strange relationship involving a boy who loved to spoon and cuddle, but had zero interest in trying to jam his tongue down my throat.

“Just read it,” she urged.

And I did. In fact, I spent the next 6 hours curled up in my papasan chair having aha moment after aha moment. I realized at long last that there are so many obvious signals guys were sending that I just refused to acknowledge. And now that I had, I was able to move on to greener pastures…or boys who liked to snuggle AND see me naked.

Four years and a film adaptation later, I sit here – still single – wondering if instead of fixing my dating ways, He’s Just Not That Into You has totally effed up my ability to find or maintain a relationship.

As we all know, the purpose of the book was to remind women that guys are simple creatures and if they are into you, they will let you know. If they aren’t introducing you to their parents, they aren’t into you. If they aren’t calling you back after you hook up, they aren’t into you. You get the gist.

And while all of that makes sense, it seems (to me, at least) a little too black and white for real life. I get that guys are really easy to read, but I have come to see that this book is just pushing women to reject men before the men reject them.

Men that probably don’t want to reject them, mind you.

The book sets the bar so high that it is almost impossible for guys to make the grade. Yes, guys should call right away when they are into you, but not all of them do. Some of them get busy, some of them don’t know if you are into them, and some of them just prefer to poke you on Facebook. Yet, when he doesn’t call or text immediately (or take you home for Thanksgiving after dating for 3 months) we freak out, hit the bottle (hard), cry a little bit (to the sounds of John Hiatt blaring from iTunes), and write that bastard off.

“I don’t need to sit around and wait for someone. He’s clearly not into me.” Read More »

It’s the subject of half the love songs out there: soul mates and the idea of a happily ever after that awaits those lucky enough to find the so-called Knight in Shining Armor.  Take Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” for example, the poster child for a happy ending:

And I said,
“Romeo save me – I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think-”

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
“Marry me, Juliet – you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad – go pick out a white dress;
It’s a love story – baby just say ‘Yes.’”

Beautiful, right?  Makes your eyes mist up a bit?  Of course it does, it’s the quintessential love story.  Girl meets guy.  There is drama. Guy leaves. Girl waits for guy.  Guy comes back.  Cue the happily ever after.  Except…wait a second.  He left her, right?  And she waited around for him without any indication he was coming back?  Um, we might need to reconsider this. Read More »

Got something you need to know, but just can’t ask your friends (or the freaks who weigh in on Yahoo Answers)? Ask Tuffy. She’ll answer anything (seriously, anything!) honestly and without judgment. After all, her name isn’t Sugar Coater. So shoot her an email: tuffyluv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I went out with a guy a few weeks ago. We had a really good time (I think?). We had a few drinks, then he drove me all the way home, even though I told him I could walk. The convo was great, we had a lot in common and I thought he was a cutie patootie. I don’t want to be all annoying girl in “He’s Just Not That Into You,” but I really don’t understand why he never called? Aren’t all those things signs that he’s interested?

Perturbed.

Dear Perturbed,

Number one: If I catch you drinking and driving again, I will cut you in the face. Seriously, not cool. You heard, everyone?! No matter how short the distance, it’s NEVER okay to risk others’ lives.

And now to address your actual question. Okay. This is tricky because there actually is no answer. Let’s look at a couple o’ scenerios.

Numero unoski: He likes you and is too shy to make the next move. Actually, this is the most likely. Maybe you should give him a call and see if he wants to go out again. You never know what might happen. Read More »

A few  years ago, if someone mentioned a self-help book around me I would have cringed… and laughed in their face. I didn’t understand how people could pay money for books that any idiot with a computer could write and try to pawn off as good, sound advice. However, in light of some recent events, my attitude about self-help books and the like has done a complete 180.

Not to say I’m a total self-help junkie now, but I am pretty shameless about the fact that I read – and believe in – the healing power of self-help books. (Okay, that sounded unnecessarily cheesy, but you catch my drift.)

So, even if you’ve never snuck a peak at the Self Help section in Barnes & Nobles (or are just too embarrassed to admit it),  here’s some of my faves & some others whose street cred is pretty great, as far as self-help books goes:

1. You Can Heal Your Life – Louise L. Hay. I just recently started reading this one myself and I’m in love. It’s intense and has caused quite a few life-changing epiphanies, and Hay will seriously stop at nothing to help you create your perfect life.

2. The Secret – Rhonda Byrne. The now uber-famous Law of Attraction is explained in this simple, visually appealing, tiny book. And when you don’t exactly have time to sit down & waft through an intense self-help workshop like you’d get from something like You Can Heal Your Life, The Secret will totally suffice. You can easily soak up a chapter between classes or use it as a study distraction. It’s more exciting than King Lear, I promise. Read More »

One of my biggest pet peeves with the male population is when a guy doesn’t call back. Yes, I know that I should take a hint from He’s Just Not That Into You and know that no call = no interest, but it still makes me mad.

If a guy says he’s gonna call, then he should call. And if he’s not interested, then he should just suck it up, be a man, and tell me. I’m an adult – I can handle it. I who would rather have a definitive answer than be left wondering.

And wonder I do.

I can’t help it. As much as I know in my head that guys would call if they are interested, my heart takes control of the situation and I am left laying by the phone, willing it to ring. Or running to it every time it does in hopes that said boy has finally mustered up the courage to give me a buzz, only to be left disappointed when it’s my mother…again…calling to ask me what I thought of American Idol.

And then the tables turned.

I met a boy at the bar and in my booze-y haze I thought he was charming, cute and hilarious. We talked the whole night, went home together and had some fun in his living room. Why we couldn’t wait to take it to the bedroom I’ll never know, but I learned a valuable lesson that night about sex on a leather couch: don’t have it.

But I digress. The point is, after spending some time with him in the morning I realized that he was none of the things I was attracted to the night before. I just wasn’t that into him. Read More »