But I think this is taking dedication too far.

A 37-year-old Alabama middle-school teacher is being accused of sleeping with 8 members of her middle school’s baseball team. 8 members. All under the age of 17 years old.

Julie Pritchett was apparently already having an affair with one 15 year old boy on the team when she woke up and decided that one little boy wasn’t enough. She wanted 7 more! Because who isn’t into having their own little coven of teenage boys? It’s like Snow White! Except instead of dwarfs and singing animals, you get a possible 20 year jail sentence for being a sexual predator! Yay!

As someone who finds men her own age alarmingly immature, I will never understand the issue of grown women boinking teenage boys. Obviously, there’s some mental problems there, but doesn’t she have a memory? Aren’t her own awkward high school experiences still bouncing around somewhere, begging her to remember what teenage boys are like? But perhaps that’s the problem. Maybe she never got any in high school. Maybe she’s trying to relive her teenage days 20 years too late. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It’s still so. very. WRONG.

I soon found out that this “dream boy” didn’t exist. And after a few disappointing months, I found myself thinking lustfully about certain guys from home. You know, the ones who were slightly more predictable than these frat boys, and–the more I thought about it–way cuter.

Screw Mr. Tall, Brutally Hot and Fun.

As soon as first semester was over, I pounced on the boys I’d once deemed passé. GOOD decision.

So, to the rest of you ladies who didn’t find your dream guy at college, I propose that this winter break, you embrace those boys you grew up with. Been there, done that, you say? Well, just check out my top ten reasons to re-romance (slash fool around with) your boys from home.

1. They are better than you remembered. I promise. After realizing how immature and ill-mannered the average college guy is, your hometown boys will have new value. His next-day phone call that you used consider standard will now leave you weak in the knees.

2. Wait, they are WAY better than you remembered. Seriously, all of the boys I knew in high school returned from college ten-times hotter. Perhaps my standards have just lowered. But I swear to God, guys that I’d always pulled the just-friends card on were suddenly boasting hot bodies and a new, sexy confidence.

3. They know you. This means that you don’t have to B.S. You don’t have to tame your pitchy voice, bat your eyes or even hold back your burps. Take a deep breath because, ladies, you get to be yourselves.

4. Reminiscing=Good conversation. Reflecting on the good ole days is sure to provide for interesting, and even flirty, conversation. Remember when your ex almost caught us and we had to hide in the closet for 2 hours? Voila! Used-to-be awkward stories become flirty banter.

5. The comfortable factor. Because your hometown boys know you so well, you don’t have to play the “I’m not that kind of girl” card. They know you’re not a slut (and if you are, they don’t care!), which means that you can hook up as soon as you hop off your plane. And you don’t have to worry about them losing respect.

6. The familiarity factor. You were right when you thought “been there, done that.” But you were wrong when you thought it was a drawback. This only applies to the boys you’ve already hooked up with, and it is a major perk of rekindling a past flame: you’ve already done it! No awkward, fumbling first encounters… just picking up where you left off. You know, like riding a bike.

7. You get priority. Hometown girls always trump college girls. After a few semesters of easy college biatches, your boys have likely come to value and respect their hometown girls. And don’t fret if he has a college girlfriend. Those K.I.T. relationships always fall through—especially if you put in a week or two of solid (ahem, suggestive) flirting.

8. New selection. Throw away the old rules about not hooking up with Jake because he used to date Rachael. After a year or two at college, Rachael really doesn’t care anymore. And you probably don’t talk to half the girls whose boyfriends you couldn’t date. So it’s a whole new ballgame: the untouchables are now extremely touchable. Remember that boy with the bitchy girlfriend, the one you had intense eye-sex with at every party? He’s your summer boy.

9. Knowledge is power. You have the advantage of knowing way more about your hometown boy than you’ve known about any college hook-up. Right off the bat, you probably know whether he’s booty-call or boyfriend material. He knows that you know this. So he probably won’t try to bullshit you.

10. What women want. Decide what you want from this boy, and it’s yours. Once you decide your boy’s role in your summer love plan, use your knowledge of his past—either with you or with others— and his personality to make it happen. If you want to make it an exclusive summer thing, you know this guy’s dos and don’ts. If you want to make sure it remains a casual hook up, just let him know upfront.

So, get your mind off Mr. McDreamy Frat Boy, kick back, relax and enjoy some hometown love. If it goes sour, you’ll just have a little extra incentive to make next semester’s quest for your college dream guy fiercer than ever.