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Guess who Cameron Diaz was spotted with!

Our friends are supposed to be the ones we come to in our most dire times of need. The people who hold our hair back after a long night of Nuvo, the ones who we have on speed dial – right after mom and Chipotle pick up. Anyone lucky enough to have a good friend knows that if done correctly, friendship can be everything. Just not a living arrangement.

Now correct me if I’m wrong (and I know that CollegeCandy readers aren’t afraid to do this!), but friends do not make good roommates. Hanging out with friends at school is fine, lunch dates are cool and visits are awesome. But a year-round sleepover is a huge mistake!

If you get tired of being around your younger sister for 24 hours, imagine being around your bestie. You know little sissy’s deep, dark, disgusting habits and preferences – the way she leaves the carton of juice on the table after breakfast, how she hogs up the bathroom in the morning because “she wants to feel fresh before school,” how she sleeps with her closet light on because it reminds her of sunset – the list goes on and on. You don’t know every single annoying thing that your best friend does, and trust me; you don’t want to find out. You can expect the worst from your siblings because you’ve unfortunately seen it all by now. And if you’re lucky, one door slam makes it all go away. Getting adjusted to those close living quarters and your friends’ habits may be too much at one time.

Besides unexpected revisions to your internal best friend encyclopedia, expect to get tired of your home girl. The prospect of going to school with someone who is close to you is great, don’t get me wrong – especially if you’re coming from out of state. But imagine riding to school with her. Unpacking with her. Sleeping in the same room. Washing up together. Going to breakfast, going to class and going to the same social events. Amiga overload, much? I’ve seen it happen so many times; people come to school with pre-determined cliques and never take the initiative to meet new friends.  That’s a huge part of the college experience that shouldn’t be wasted.

Friends get into the hugest fights after living together. They can be over the smallest things (like sleeping arrangements or channel preferences). Those small problems have the potential to turn into bigger problems over time.  You don’t want to lose your friend over a miniscule issue – true buddies are harder to find as we get older. Maintaining a good, solid friendship is tough work. Adding a bunk bed and a small closet into the mix can throw things in the wrong direction.

I implore you to let your housing office do the choosing. Take a chance! If your friend is a good one, she’ll be waiting in the wings.

Disagree? So did Meg! Read her pro-living-with-high-school-friend post right here. Had your own similar experience? Tell us below.

Going to college with my BFF wasn’t always so kosher. Here are a few things that really helped us out.

1. DO make your own decision. We didn’t decide to go to school together. In fact, we refused to tell each other what our final results were from each college, just in case one of us would be swayed by the other’s decision. We wanted to make our own, independent decision.

2. DON’T rely only on each other. We didn’t speak for the first month of school. Okay, after that last one, I’m sure you’re beginning to wonder if we really were friends at all. Yes. I swear. We decided it was more important to make friends on our own during that first, crucial month. I fell in love with my floor, and she, hers. After that month passed, it was like we had two sets of friends. Her new friends became mine, and vice versa. It became a God-send to be able to escape to a different dorm or get coffee with a different crew. But it never would have happened, had we only held on to each other.

3. DON’T be afraid to not speak to each other for a while. It’s okay! College is a time to learn about yourself, and sometimes, that may mean ignoring your past for a little while. This doesn’t mean you’re not friends anymore, it means that you’re just figuring your life out. No harm in that!

4. DO realize how lucky you are. Most people don’t get to go to college with anyone they know, let alone their best friend. You’re guaranteed a shoulder to cry on, someone to call when your roommate goes off the deep-end or maybe just when you need a ride all the way home. Don’t take the little things for granted.

College is going to be the best four years of your life, and you’re lucky enough to spend it with your BFF!

Did you go to college with your BFF? Do you have tips?

Let’s be honest. There were times when you weren’t sure you’d make it. You were optimistic back in August, but less so as the months wore on. You started your countdown on Halloween, and were ready to tear your own hair out over Thanksgiving break. By the time finals week had rolled around you had already checked out. But somehow, somehow you’ve managed to make it through.

Well…almost.

Another few days and you’ll be free and clear. Done. Dunzo. Getting the hell out of Dodge. The fall 2010 semester will be over and you’ll be able to do whatever you like over the break. Want to know what I’m looking forward to the most?

10. Catching up with the high school BFFs. You never would have made it through prom without them and you’ll never make it through six weeks at home with your parents without them either. Go to the movies. Go to the bars. Sneak beer into your parents’ basement like you’re still 16. Or braid each other’s hair like you’re still six. Whatever. Like you really need me to tell you how to have a good time, right?

9. Movie marathons. There’s just something about those lazy days. Those days when you just know you won’t be getting out of your pajamas, the days when all you want to do is eat some Chunky Monkey and watch a few chick flicks. There’s no use fighting it, so pick your favorites and plop. Personally I’m planning on a Back to the ’90s sort of day.  Heath Ledger 10 Things I Hate About You and Freddie Prince Jr. She’s All That? Yes, please.

8. Organizing everything. Whenever the semester starts, everything is always so organized. My files are backed up on my external hard drive.  My iTunes music is arranged into the perfect playlists. All of my notes are placed neatly in my binders. I can find any book I want on my bookshelf. But somehow, as the semester wore on, I forget to back up my files. That new Katy Perry song never made it onto my playlist. And I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen my microbiology textbook since the first day of classes…

7. Enjoying some home cooked meals. No, not just the holiday meals and the week’s worth of leftovers that will surely follow, but your childhood favorites too. The dinners mom knows you love, the chocolate chip pancakes no one makes quite like your dad, or even your grandmother’s famous sugar cookies. (Note to self: Don’t forget all the elastic waist pants….)

6. Reading a book for enjoyment. I’m an English major. I read ALL. THE. TIME. But they’re not always books that I enjoy. (Oddly enough, before this semester I’d never felt inclined to have a go at 18^th Century Literature.) And even if they are books I enjoy I’m not reading them for enjoyment. I’m analyzing them. Most of the time from some crazy Marxist/Feminist/Deconstruction point of view that, I assure you, the original author never meant for us to use.

5. Sleeping until 2 p.m. Not that this one really needs an explanation or anything, but I have been looking forward to this moment since the first Monday morning I was unable to press the snooze button.

4. Hitting the post holiday sales. Yes, yes, I know you just finished shopping. But this shopping isn’t for other people, this shopping is for you. All those great gifts you wished someone would get you when you were shopping for other people?  Now you can get them for yourself. For a bazillion percent less. Go for it. And return that ugly sweater your aunt got you while you’re at it.

3. Catching up on my favorite TV shows. What’s that? You missed the last episode of Gossip Girl? (Editor’s Note: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?) You haven’t seen the latest episode of Glee? You haven’t been watching Grey’s Anatomy all season long? That’s okay; you have plenty of time to catch up! And the shows are all online now, anyway so you can grab that laptop and snuggle up in your childhood bedroom (surrounded by all your old favorite Beanie Babies and stuff).  Sure, you have to sit through those annoying ads for Lysol and birth control but at least you don’t have to wait three whole agonizing months to find out if Mark and Lexie are ever going to get back together!

2. Pampering myself. Just a little bit. Probably one of the things I am most looking forward to is having the time for a day of rest and relaxation. It will start will a trip to Starbucks, then I’ll head to the salon to finally get my hair trimmed, and then if I’m really feeling the love for myself I might even work in a manicure. One day of being pampered, just one. Because, honestly we all deserve it.

1. Doing absolutely nothing of importance. My absolute favorite part of winter break. You really don’t have to do anything. No dire emergencies. No homework assignments. No club meetings or class schedules. No appropriate times to sleep or dining hall hours to remember. You can do whatever you want whenever you want because you want to. Or you can do nothing at all. It’s perfectly acceptable. Because you’re on winter break. So enjoy it while you can.

Here are 5 Things to Know About Being Home for Thanksgiving:

“Honey, why are you sitting in your room with a bottle of Cherry Burnett’s and that T-Pain song on repeat?”

Okay, so Mom probably doesn’t know who T-Pain is.  And she probably also doesn’t know what pre-gaming looks like.  Meeting up with high school friends for a little reunion?  Avoid the sticky questions by taking your pre-game out of the parentals’ line of vision.

“Umm…will your friend be spending the night?”

Your childhood bedroom is not built from the same soundproof cinderblock walls as your dorm.  It’s also located in your parents’ house.  But you just found out that the geeky guy from senior statistics turned into a total babe during college and he totally wants to hook up with y-o-u!  Play on, player…but not at home.

“Now, your Uncle Melvin and I were wondering what you’re going to do with a degree in…philosophy?”

As you join hands and give thanks for the bountiful feast sitting on your Thanksgiving table, try to have a little patience with your relatives.  Their insistence that liberal arts majors can’t make a steady living are really just concerns for your well-being.  When you’re clutching the big turkey-cutting knife, repeat that to yourself.

“I’ll buy you a box of Sour Patch Kids if you come to the movies with me.”

Guess what?  Little siblings can be cool, especially if you’re stuck at home for a long weekend without any friends nearby.  Round up the troops and take them to see a movie or to grab a soda (with or without vodka, depending on their age).

“Didn’t we call you mouth-breather in high school?”

If you’re without siblings (or if they’re too cool for you), don’t ignore the people you might not have hung out with in high school.  “Wanna grab a drink?” is a universally understood phrase, especially during the stressful holiday season.

Why are you excited to go home for Thanksgiving? Tell us below and be automatically entered to win a $50 giftcard to BustedTees (only the FUNNIEST shirts ever made). That $50 is good for TWO t-shirts or one awesome MonsterHoodie. We’ll randomly draw a winner on Wednesday, November 24th and announce it on Facebook and Twitter.

Plus, just because they’re awesome, BustedTees is giving everyone 10% off their order with discount code ‘CollegeCandy’ at check-out! Yes! Just in time for all that holiday shopping!

…In case you’re wondering, we’d like this one, please.
CONTEST CLOSED!
Congrats to Kia for bringing home the bacon! Can’t wait to see what she buys!

It wouldn’t just be one friend that it would be hard to meet up with, it would be all of my friends.

College isn’t just about the classes. We’re here for four years. We make lives for ourselves. The people we spend our days with, eat lunch with, sit in class with, they become family. And next year that family will be scattered across the country. People move back home. People go to grad school. They make plans and they move on. And that’s what they’re supposed to do. That’s what they are in the process of doing. It’s what I’m in the process of doing.

But sometimes, we put so much emphasis on getting there, that we don’t stop and think about what will happen when we are there.

Relationships of all kinds are about convenience. It’s easy to stay friends with someone when you see them every Tuesday and Thursday from 9:40-11:10. It’s even easier to stay friends with someone when they live down the hall from you, eat dinner with you, take all the same classes as you. These people are a part of your life. They part of my life. Will they still be a year from now, ten years from now?

I know what you’re thinking: you’ll still be friends with the people that really matter. That’s what I’m thinking too. I’ll stay in touch with the people I care about. If both people make an effort, there’s no reason why two friends can’t stay in touch even when they barely see each other. Facebook and Twitter, texting and BBMing, and instant messaging and e-mailing have all made that possible. But think back a few years, back to the last time you graduated. Are you still friends with all those people you were hugging in your high school prom pictures?

I had a big group of friends in high school, but after we graduated, separated, became interested in different things, those friendships changed. I’m still in touch with some of them, but I’ve completely lost touch with others. It’s expected. It makes sense. Still, I can’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment every time I think about these people no longer being a part of my everyday life.

These are the friendships I’ll try to preserve. There will be late night phone calls, commenting wars, gatherings that will make up for lost time. We won’t see each other every day – it won’t be like it always was – but we’ll still be friends. I’ll make sure of it. There will be other people, though, that I won’t stay in touch with, and neither will you.  That guy in your psych class? The girl you share notes with in calculus? Those people you see every Dollar Pitcher night at the bar? You may not make plans with them or even have their numbers, but they are still there, in your life, every day.

But they won’t be for much longer

Senior year, I’m realizing, is all about the changes. As I take the necessary steps to make those changes, I can’t help but look back and think, why exactly do things have to change? Why can’t we just stay here forever?

But maybe I’m just being sentimental… or overdramatic. (I’ve been told I have a tendency to do that.) Or maybe it’s PMS?

What do you think, College Candy readers? Are friendships all about convenience? Will I stay in touch with my college friends? Or will my friendships start to dwindle as the distance between us increases? Does it matter?

Freaking out? Not ready to graduate? Let one of our resident post-grad’s give you a little real world (gr)advice.

Whether you’re fresh on campus or are a seasoned beer pong pro, everyone can remember the day they said goodbye to their high school friends.  It began a whole new type of LDR.  The long distance friendship (or LDF) is most common among people who have known one another for years, and are then forcefully separated by miles and ten different college towns.

Everyone wants to remain the same Popsicle-sharing, boy-loving, outfit-coordinating band of buds, so you promise to keep in touch.  Skype, AIM, gchat, Facebook…somehow you make it happen.  As you’re settling into your new dorm and meeting new people, sometimes it feels good to catch up with a familiar face.  While at first it’s all innocent I miss you’s and I’m coming to visit you’s, eventually friends start to brag.  Their cafeteria is delicious, they slept with their hot RA, they’ve made new BFFs galore.  The list usually goes on for another twenty pages, but I’ll let you just go back through your text inbox to read of the others.

Before you get down on yourself for wearily picking through mystery meat, pushing aside gray peas, and sitting with what you’re sure is the foreign exchange table, I’d like to decode your friends’ overzealous statements.  Don’t worry; they’re having a hard time adjusting, too.

What she says: “I get drunk every night.  This place is a constant party.  I love it!”
What she means: “I had too much tequila the other night and puked on my roommate’s shoes.  I’ve been hungover for three days and I never want to drink again.  End my life.”

What she says: “College is so much better than high school.  There are gorgeous guys everywhere.  It’s like a freakin’ Abercrombie catalog.  You know, back when Abercrombie was actually cool.”
What she means: “There are maybe two hot dudes on campus and they’d never talk to me.  I made out with a kid who still had braces last weekend.  I think I’ve regressed.”

What she says: “Hooked up with one of the basketball players and gave head for the first time.  I was totally amazing at it, he said I was, like, the best he’s ever had.”
What she means: “For some reason he kept saying, ‘Watch the teeth.’  Do you know what that’s supposed to mean? Huh.”

What she says: “I’m totally the most popular girl on my hall.  Everyone knows I’m where the party starts.”
What she means: “I’m where the party ends.  They call me Pukey.  Can I come home yet?”

What she says: “Chicken finger Wednesday is like my dream come true.  The food here is so good, I can’t get enough!”
What she means: “I’m totally getting fat.”

What she says: “I’m dating a total hottie.”
What she means: “I’m dating that kid with braces I never told you about.”

Ah, summer. The temperatures rise, the air thickens, our tans darken (unless you work in an office like me), and we go back to the old friends from home that we haven’t spent much time with in the past year. But among the mass of people you used to see all the time in high school, there are six different types of people that you will never see over your long summer vacation at home.

The Facebooker (or The Texter): She writes on your wall. She texts you. Every. Week. “OMG, when am I seeing you??” “What are you doing tonight? Can we make plans?!” She’s always in contact with you, but when you actually want to make plans, she’s vague and flaky. There’s always a conflict in your schedules, and she can never hang out even though she’s all up on your Facebook, sending you notifications like there’s no tomorrow and keeping the red light on your BlackBerry constantly flashing. Get it together, girl — do you want to hang out with me or not?!

The In-Class Friend: You were great friends in AP English, and AP biology, and AP calculus. She was that one cool girl you found amongst the nerds in your classes, and she helped you get through every last one. You got along really well, and you genuinely liked each other. You’d share notes, study together, laugh at your teacher’s ridiculous outfits, and share hilarious weekend stories on Monday morning. But that’s it. Once that bell rang every day, you didn’t really talk much. You’d actually like to hang out with her and catch up, but you’re in completely different circles of friends, haven’t texted her since your group project senior year, and basically lost touch in college, so it just never happens. But you can’t help wondering what she’s up to…

The Girl Who’s Always Working: She’s a bit of an over-achiever. She’s got an internship in the city, two weekend jobs, and a babysitting job at night. This girl is literally NEVER available; she’s either working or too exhausted to hang out. She wants to hang out with you, but she barely has time to breathe, let alone text you. She’s concentrating on building her resume and fattening her wallet this summer instead of soaking up the rays by the pool. You don’t really like it, but you can’t help but respect her for being in an office at 10AM on a Monday instead of sleepily rolling out of bed to go downstairs to eat last night’s leftover sesame noodles for breakfast. Not that any of us do that. Ever.

The Hideaway: This girl is legit MIA. You see her once in awhile, and then she just completely disappears. She’s never on Facebook, doesn’t answer her phone, and never contacts you. You often wonder if she is still alive. You have no idea what she’s up to this summer, except for that she’s taken it upon herself to completely isolate herself from the world. And the worst part is, she’s actually a fun friend who would bring something to the group. But she doesn’t. Because she’s nowhere to be found.

The Girl Who Got a Boyfriend at College: This girl was THE BEST – until she got a boyfriend. She was  that one friend who was always up for a froyo date, a spin class, or a kegger. But now she’s with him – ALL the time. She’s always planning her next visit to see him or going to the zoo with him or going to the beach with him or going back to school with him or video chatting with him or posting pictures on Facebook of the two of them in sepia Apple Photo Booth pictures. She used to be awesome, but now she’s got her boy whipped and is psyched about it. She’s never around, and even when you do see her on an extremely rare occasion (a.k.a. when her boyfriend has a funeral or a doctor’s appointment), she’s preoccupied with texting him, or doesn’t shut up about how amazing he is and how much she misses him. She views your single life as a phase she’s totes over (“I’m just so not into the whole random hookup thing anymore”), and makes you feel bad for not feeling the same way.

The Annoying One You Choose Not to See: The day you graduated, you bade this girl fare-freakin’-well and never looked back. She followed you around in high school and was obsessed with you and everything about you, but you never felt the same way about her. You politely invited her to things in high school because you felt bad, but as soon as you went to college, you knew you never would have to hang out with her again. She’s essentially “the friend nobody likes.” Now she won’t leave you alone, and you can’t stand it. You hate being a jerk, but you constantly have to blow her off by passing yourself as any of the girls above.

Whoa. That's TUBA TIM?!

For most of us the semester has come to an end and finals are right around the corner. After a week of sleeping two hours a night and living on Red Bulls and delivery food, we will all be sprinting home to nurse our under eye circles with homemade food and a queen-size bed.

Of course you will speed to your best friend’s doorstep the minute you’re in town and maul her with hugs and gossip. But you’ll need to catch up on your sleep (which may take the entire first week) before you’ll be ready to venture out into the town you once called home and reconnect with old high school buddies.

You might see them at a party, maybe at the mall, hopefully in the car next to you at the stoplight so you can make a quick getaway, but be prepared. Here are seven people from high school you will undoubtedly be running into over break.

1. The Girl Who Peaked in High School
She was hot sh*t and she knew it. She had all the football players drooling over her every move and all the girls wanted to be her. She owned the hallway with her posse trailing behind, and when she started wearing Ugg boots, every other girl in the school was wearing them come Monday. And then everyone else left town to go to college and she….didn’t. Now she’s living with the parentals and serving you dinner when you head out to your favorite restaurant with the family. Her hair isn’t quite as shiny, her face doesn’t look quite as beautiful and you awkwardly pretend not to know her as you chow down on that burger.

2. Band Nerd Turned Holy-Sh*t-Look-At-His-Abs
You wouldn’t be able to remember his name if you tried. The only times you ever really saw him in high school was behind a giant tuba and a music stand. He was quiet, nerdy and – you’re not going to lie – a little creepy. But, damn, look at him now. You didn’t recognize him at first without the band varsity jacket, but it suddenly clicks and – wowza – college has done band-boy good. Those abs. Those arms. The way his hair is all messy from that adorable winter hat. A winter break hookup, perhaps?

3. The Too-Cool-For-This-Small-Town City Girl
They went to NYU or Columbia or some other school in some other big city.  After spending months being “city girls,” sipping martinis at the hottest clubs, they are now way too cool for this small town where everything closes at 10. And nothing but Domino’s delivers. They’ll tell stories about how they hang out at café’s listening to jazz music and talking poetry into the wee hours of the morning, and drinking wine while discussing impressionism at art galleries. You’ll be able to see them coming from a mile away: their street-purchased pashminas, their perfectly distressed boots pulled up over their midnight black leggings, their noses in the air as they lecture on what’s “trendy” (independent coffee shops) and what’s “so small town” (Starbucks. Gross.).

4. The Activist
Most people go to college in hopes of finding something they are passionate about, and boy did these people succeed. They left town, saw the world, and realized all the injustice that needs to be fought for. Now they don’t wear shoes and only eat tofu, spreading their granola-crunching passion all over your town. They refuse to indulge in the “blatant capitalism” that is the holiday spirit and make it known to anyone within earshot how they feel about this new “cruel leather jacket trend,” and the evil empire that is Wal-mart.

5. The Stranger-Turned-BFFAEAEAE
You never spoke more than two words to each other in high school, but when you see her at a party she hugs you like you’re long lost best friends, gives you a double cheek-kiss and tells you how great you look. Then she corners you, asks about your life, your boys, your major, and then swears you two totes need to catch up over coffee. And talk about what, exactly? The one time you were in the same group and made a Power Point together?

6. The Super Sorostitute
Her sorority is her life and you’d be an idiot not to know it since she has her Greek letters plastered all over everything in her possession (her jacket, her keychain, her cell phone, her butt…). All she’ll talk about is her sorority house, her semi-formals and her amazing fraternity boyfriend.  She won’t be looking at you, of course, because she’ll be too busy BBMing her sisters, LOLing about their parents and telling each other how much they can’t wait to get back to the house. Then she’ll throw her sparkly Blackberry back into her giant $500 (knock-off) bag and hightail it to the mall.

7. The Reformed Druggie
You never saw him in high school. Ok, you did, but never actually in the actual school. He was usually out in his car surrounded by Cheetos bags, a skateboard and empty Visine bottles. And now? Wow, what happened to the long hair? The baggy pants? Are those….khakis? Boat shoes? Wait…you’re applying to law school?

I remember going to college expecting to make some of the best friends of my life. It had always seemed that way — you have nice high school friends, but gradually they fade out of the picture and your college friends dominate your life. Wasn’t that the way it was supposed to be?

As I arrived at school and plunged into the rigorous academic environment that was promised in the Princeton brochure, the social scene surprised me in some way. There were the usual kinds of people I expected — the jocks, the preps, the econ majors — but not the friendships I was looking forward to.

I had dining hall buddies (people to eat and swap jokes with), and homework buddies (people to frantically share answers on problem sets with), but there was no gang of girls sharing secrets and supporting each other the way there was in high school. I compared notes with other friends and they agreed; for one reason or another, no one had as close friendships in college as they did in high school.

Why?

It seems that high school is an altogether more social experience than college. The higher you rise in education, in fact, the more solitary and independent you’re expected to be, so if you get to grad school you’re basically holed up in your library cube  all day with little contact with the outside world.

People in college are independent and driven. They have career goals and they always have things to do and places to be, most of which don’t involve bonding. Even those so-called bonding sessions you think you are having seem like goals on the way to becoming the perfect, accomplished college student. That’s how the friendships seem to evolve as well: we need people to eat with, so we form dining-hall groups. We need people to help us with our work, so we form study groups. We need to bond with our sports team, so we hang out with other team members.

Friends just for the sake of friends are relatively rare.

College, in some ways, can be a lonely life. But that doesn’t mean connecting to people is impossible; you just need to know where to look.

Instead of just being drawn to the people on your hall out of geographic convenience, you’ll have to do a little sleuthing to find people who share your interests. Join a club related to what you feel passionate about. Chances are there’s a club on your campus that suits your interests, from literary magazines to ethnic identity groups to dance or film enthusiast organizations. If you’ve got problem-set buddies, that’s great, but maybe not everyone is taking the class because they love the subject. Seek out people in the class who really like what you do and talk about the homework together. Don’t just follow the crowd so you’ll have someone to party with on weekends — do a little extra work to find people you feel compatible with, and have lunch with them once or twice a week. That way, you can connect with people even if you don’t live close to them.

One thing you don’t want in college is to be hanging out with people who don’t care whether you fail or succeed, who only want to be with you as a step towards some other goal. Seek out people who will applaud your triumphs and sympathize with your hardships, and your social life on campus will be a vastly more rewarding one.