Bill Clinton’s still got it.

Find those hidden calories and beat ‘em.

Lady Gaga and Beyonce sweep VMA nominations.

But Brit is close behind!

Is this the future of hip hop?

10 secrets men are keeping from us.

Summer break has arrived!! (Sorry to those of you still studying for exams. You’ll enjoy that sweet taste of freedom soon.) No more studying or exams or long nights writing papers, but summer isn’t quite the freedom fest it used to be. Now you have jobs and internships taking up most of your tanning time. So, to help you make the most of the little time you will have to bask in the sunshine, use my book reviews as your summer reading list! I promise not to disappoint.

Now, I love my fiction, but sometimes I just get a hankering for a real fact-filled, non-fiction book. I was watching MTV Canada one day saw Rodrigo Bascunan, the author of a fantastic book called “Enter the Babylon System,” being interviewed. On a whim, I decided to get it from the library (if MTV likes him, then he must be bad ass, right?) and boy was I impressed!

Now, before you go grab this book yourself and stare blankly at the cover thinking “WTF is this sh*t?” let me explain something: the book is about guns.

Yeah, I know that you probably have no interest in guns, their history, or their evolution, but hear met out; the  book was seriously great.

Even if you have absolutely NO interest in guns, “Enter the Babylon System” will still entertain and inform you. I have no affiliation or opinion on guns and gun culture and was surprised by how easy the book was to understand despite this. Not to mention how interested I was in the topic once I began learning about it.

I learned so much, from the history of guns to their central role in the hip hop and rap industry today. Within this culture, most carry weapons, sometimes illegally, and many fatal shootings occur because of this easy access to firearms. The authors, who look more like the gang members they discuss than the scholarly men that they are, are vehemently opposed to this new gun culture and use their unique access and perspective to share their reasoning with the world.

I found the authors’ point of view the most interesting part of the book. It’s really nice to see two individuals who had many opportunities to immerse themselves in gun culture take a stance and tackle a national and international issue. They know what they are talking about and it shows, forcing many readers to give real thought to a topic they never considered before. It is a mature and thoughtful book, but as I said, one that can benefit even the least interested or knowledgeable in the topic. And I’m proud to say I now know who rappers are talking about when they name-drop Smith & Wesson or Colt.

Anyone who is looking for an informative, smart, yet entertaining summer read should pick up “Enter the Babylon System.” You’ll need something to make you think a bit after 8 hour days answering phones at that summer job and this book will give it to you in a way that isn’t dry or boring. I found it engrossing and unbiased and I highly recommend it for the non-fiction buff like myself.

(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E [Guys We Want to Eff]. Looking for a fella who has smart taste, style, and talent to boot? Check out Mos Def, our main rapper/actor we wanna eff!)

I have to confess that I’m a sucker for talent. I mean, who isn’t? If all these dancing/singing/acting/yadda yadda reality shows are doing so well, then the American public is certainly thirsty for some grade-A pizzazz. But while the hometown hotties on such shows are nice, what’s really effable is someone who’s taken time to hone their skills and grow into the limelight. A self-made man. And who’s a better example of that than Mos Def?

This week, he’s totally tops on my effable charts.

The Brooklyn hip-hop lyricist, born Dante Terrell Smith, first started recording music alongside his brother and sister as part of a group called Urban Thermal Dynamics. He has since broken off as a solo artist, and his 1999 album Black on Both Sides was his breakout achievement. He has also collaborated with such big names as Talib Kweli, Kanye West, and Common. And his slick, sexy, introspective side acquired a lot of recognition for his work on Russell Simmon’s Def Poetry on HBO. Confidence + smooth delivery= ultra-effability.

But that’s not all. He’s a respected actor whose Hollywood resume includes roles on The Chappelle Show, The Italian Job, and the newest Michel Gondry flick, Be Kind Rewind. Mos Def has been nominated for an Emmy, a Golden Globe, and multiple Grammys. Yeah, you could say he knows his way around the entertainment industry. Meow!

Mos Def’s newest film, Cadillac Records, opens today. How am I excited? Let me count the ways: 1) It’s a ’50s period piece (retro movies are always fun), 2) there’s sure to be a great soundtrack (it’s about a recording studio!) and 3) Mos Def plays Chuck Berry, the dynamic early rock-n-roll star. So while my man will be singing “Johnny B. Goode,” I’ll be thinking: Mos Def, be good to me tonight!

We heard him say…he’s the voice of our generation?

New ladies are taking the reigns tonight on SNL.

Mariah wears holiday lingerie on her own.

Lindsay still likes dudes, and wants Sam to be okay with that.

Angelina giving up acting?

So hot right now: zipper booties!l

Will Spencer please STFU?!

Un-effable names for dudes.

[Like a magpie, you gravitate towards things that are shiny: cell phones, TVs, anything that allows you to play Rock Band. But just because you love ‘em doesn’t mean you know much about ‘em. That’s where we come in. Every week we will be highlighting the best, coolest and shiniest in technology. Consider us your personal Geek Squad. And let us tell ya; with CC on your side, geek has never looked so chic.]

So who’s a fan of Adult Swim? I know I am.

Ever wonder who the rapper with the high pitched voice is on ATHF? You know MC Peepants/MC Vald. That would be real Nerdcore rapper, MC Chris.

I know what you’re thinking right now: what the hell is “Nerdcore”? Well think Weird Al Yankovic’s “White and Nerdy,” but, you know, BETTER.

Nerdcore is a genre of hip hop, but instead of rapping about ho’s, bling, and money, they rap about games, computers, and other fun geek stuff. I mean they talk about boobies too, but it’s just different.

Don’t let the content of the songs throw you off, though; the beats are just as good as the more mainstream stuff on the radio, which means you will find yourself jamming/dancing to songs about compuers in no time. Want a little help? Check out these performers and their more popular jams (well, popular amongst geeks like me).

MC Chris

He’s perhaps the most well known of all Nerdcore rappers due to his work with voice acting, which, you know, makes his voice quite distinctive. He’s easy to listen to and, believe it or not, fun. Very catchy and poppy. For something new to play on that long road-trip home, check out “Fett’s Vette.”

MC Frontalot

He has a slightly different sound to him with a bit mor ]e rhythm based and very smart lyrics. His music is actually something you could listen to all the time. My favorite pick? Check out “Secrets from the Future.”

MC Router

My friend is totally geeked because he got to talk to her online. (It’s the little things.) In any case she’s a hardcore geek girl with techy beats that are fun to dance to. If you are in the mood for some chick music besides Britney and Rhianna, check out “Emmulation Station.”

Image courtesy of boingboing.net

You know the setting: you’re at a dance, you and your friends are bopping along to the music with your well-intentioned renditions of the sprinkler (it’s okay- I’m totally that person, too).

Well, I just found a video that is the ultimate in one-upmanship when it comes to hot dance moves. A group of elderly women in China decided to form a hip-hop dance troupe for fun and for exercise. The Hip-Hop Grannies rock G-Unit tees and bandanas, and a third-place finish in the national Chinese hip-hop dance competition qualifier rocketed them to fame. Since their development in 2003, the Hip-Hop Grannies have shared the joy of dance, healthy living, and social activity with many senior ladies. Not to mention they’re good at it, too!

I hope I’m just as cool when I’m 65.

(Editor’s Note: I’m not this cool now.)

Yay! Project Runway was so good last night. So good! It was just like old times; the designers got to choose their models for once, which made this is first episode all season where models started to cry and designers turned on one another. A potential catfight between Leanne-inmal and Suede? Where do I buy tickets?

Then the designers find out they have to design for one another, which is when everything got really fun, because their designs had to be inspired by a certain genre of music.

And someone up above was watching over this situation and fulfilled my dreams of finally laughing at an episode of Project Runway by putting the most ridiculous pairings together.

Here’s the breakdown:

Jerell has to be dressed in rock and roll (where is Leatha Stella when you need her?)

Suede must be donned in punk rock attire.

Kenley is to look like a pop star

Korto has to go country.

Leanne has to rock the hip hop look.

Yeah, this is bonafide comedy fo sho.

The designers go to the fabric store where we see Kenley purchasing a floral fabric (SHOCK!) for a hip hop ensemble (Questionable…) We also find out that Suede classically trained cellist…and he’s dressed Britney Spears?

So much going on. So little time to care.

I really just want to get to the runway show. Until, of course, Tim comes in to do a little advising and totally bitch slaps that ugly red lipstick right off of Kenley’s face.

The problem with Kenley is that she can’t handle ANY criticism. She is like a guy in the bedroom; tell her she did something wrong and she turns her back to you and starts to cry (leaving you forced to finish everything yourself…wait…I think I took the analogy a step too far). I think the girl needs to step away from her hipster collection of vintage vinyl records and realize that she has NO IDEA what hip hop is.

Oh and she better respect Tim Gunn. No one talks back to that man and gets away with it. NO ONE.

So, as usual, Kenley decides she’s not gonna listen to Tim. And now it is time for the most amazing runway since the drag queens. The designers head to hair and makeup where Suede is given a multicolored front mullet, Kenley is totally turned into Britney Spears, Leanne is turned into a white girl trying too hard and Jerell….looks exactly the same.

The designers strut their stuff down the runway and I have to say – seeing Kenley dressed as a total slut, Korto in cowboy boots and Leanne do a “hip hop move” at the end of the runway makes this the best episode of all time. (Oh and did anyone else totally see Jerell’s junk in those pants?!)

Yes, I am including every single season. Even the whole “Andre, let’s go to Red Lobster” sitch.

Anyways, the judges (including LL Cool J…who totally put Kenley in her place…and is so effing hot) deliberated and crowned Korto’s punk design for Suede as the winning look.

Yayyy Korto!

The bottom 2 were Kenley and Suede. According to Heidi (and her terrible metaphor), Suede stayed too safe: “You could have turned up the volume but you stayed silent.” Get it? Cuz he was designing a rock and roll look? Heidi is so clever!

So, Suede was sent home. Wearing metallic green eyeshadow.

That’s just wackadoodle!

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I’m going to say what everyone is thinking. Ludacris is a modern day Shakespeare. Yeah, I said it, someone had to. If you don’t know every word to “Roll Out (My Business)” then I’m not sure you can be considered an American.

What could be better than a modern day Shakespeare? Pair him with today’s JFK or some other awesome leader of yesteryear. That of course, is Barack “Yeah I did coke, so what?!” Obama. Luda plus Obama? It’s like Batman and Robin, peanut butter and jelly, Paris and Nicole, boxed wine and passing out on a sidewalk! They just make sense together.

Naturally I was psyched when Barack and Luda first met up to talk about AIDS, empowering the youth or bling. My hopes were built up by a conversation that I could only assume they had.

Ludacris: YOU’S A HOOOO, OHHHHH!

Barack: Together… we can change America, Ludacris.

Ludacris: Yeah man, you’s going for that number one spot.

Barack: I want you, to be… my running mate.

Ludacris: YEAHHH Baby. Hells YES we CAN OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LUDA! YEPPP!

My dreams started to become closer to reality when Ludacris dropped his new song “Obama’s Here”. Brilliance, sheer brilliance. I’d even call it poetic if poetry wasn’t so boring. He even dropped the idea of him being the Vice President! I felt faint with excitement, Ludacris said all the things I simply couldn’t articulate. My personal favorite line? “Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant.”

However, things have taken a turn for the worse. Obama wasn’t as crazy about Ludacris’ single as I was. He formally REJECTED Luda’s delicately put-together song. I’m crushed. According to Ludacris, Obama would’ve even give him a “special pardon if [he’s] ever in the slammer.”

Barack! You’re going to pardon him for a future drive-by or shoot up of a club, but you won’t accept his praising lyrics? Ludicrous.

We all deal with the trials and tribulations of bikini line maintenance on a pretty regular basis. So, why (oh why) are we forced to ignore the hair problem when it comes to our men?

Those days may soon be over. When I was sitting at my salon waiting for my appointment, I was flipping through this week’s Us Weekly, when I learned some very personal information about some of Hip Hop’s biggest stars.

Apparently, both Puff Daddy and Jay-Z are all about the male Brazilian. (Yeah, Beyonce!)

As in: hot wax, being applied to their man parts (and cracks!) and being ripped off by a large woman (most likely in need of a lip wax). Jay-Z was even quoted as saying, “bald is beautiful.”

So. Many. Thoughts. Going. Through. My. Mind.

One, I would rather not think of Puff Daddy lying on the table getting his balls waxed. But, at the same time, I got sorta excited at the thought of those men – who are all about bangin’ bitches – feeling and understanding the pain that women go through to stay beautiful and “feminine.”

(My stylist says: “That sh*t hurts and it’s about freaking time they realized!”)

(Her gay assistant says: “It makes everything look so much bigger!”)

I also found myself grinning at the thought of this trend taking off and sweeping the nation. Just imagine doing naughty things to your man without having to deal with the hair hurdle!

I decided to do some research into the minds of boys. I needed to know if this was something I could look forward to the next time I brought a boy home.

Answer: no.

I guess I got a little ahead of myself on this one; looks like most guys don’t have the threshold for pain down there like our Diddy and Jay.

What do you think? Are you for or against the male Brazilian? You gonna make your man get one?

[Disturbing photo courtesy of VanityFair.com]

(Last week we began this series about meeting your dude’s friends. This week, we continue it as promised. Because we love follow through]

The Awkward Guy

If He Were an Animal He’d Be A : Sun bear. Has a vacant, awkward stare, poor fingernail maintenance, adorable, loving.

The awkward guy. I’m not going to call him a ‘nerd’ because sometimes the awkward guy is a totally jacked gym rat and sometimes he’s a complete sports freak. But sometimes he is a nerd. He’s got hobbies. Mad hobbies. They keep him from familiarizing himself with the female sex. He’s probably a professional Halo 3 player, a collector of ‘miniatures,’ comic books, DVDs. He likes to gather stuff and store it in a sterilized container.

Mostly, when you’re around, he either stares at you, the floor, or occupies himself with something else. He might be really quiet, soft spoken, or maybe just a man of few words. The truth is he’s got a lot of words in there but they probably involve orcs or batting averages or obscure Rhode Island based hip-hop artists.

He’s a little nervous about a girl breaking into ‘the club,’ and he’s not sure how to handle it. He and your boyfriend are mates because they like the same stuff. Same taste in music, video games, whatever, and he wants to do that stuff a lot.

He’s the most likely guy in the circle to really want to make a good impression, and such, because most of his interests are maybe a little off center, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to talk about. He doesn’t want you to think he’s a massive nerdface.

The thing to understand about Awkward Guy is that everyone has some type of ‘off center’ interest. Chances are you like one thing that he likes. So if you want to sorta connect (lets say he’s third wheelin’ a date) try to find that. You might go from ‘the girl’ to ‘man your girlfriend loves Wu-Tang and she told me to protect my neck and it was AWESOME.’

If there’s literally nothing, outing your nerd stuff (everyone has one, Broadway musicals, literature, whatever) might be good too.

Eventually he’ll realize you aren’t there to judge him and like a sun bear, the Awkward Guy will get used to you being around. He’ll open up and you can cradle him like adorable baby in swaddling.