It’s the most wonderful time of the year— except for the fact that you’re at the top of Santa’s Naughty List.  Coal definitely isn’t something you put on your wish list this year but we both know you’ll be getting a lot of it.  Luckily it’s not too late to trick Santa into thinking you walk around with a halo on top of your head.  Here are some ways to redeem yourself.

Stay clear of your exes. You’ll be home for the holidays and so will all of the sexy beasts you left heartbroken back in high school.  Sure, you may be a little lonely stuck at home drinking eggnog and watching “Elf” every night with your cat (I know I will be), but that’s no excuse to be a Christmas break booty call.

Don’t be a Grinch. Christmas shopping for family and friends is always fun. Dad gets a nice Hawaiian shirt, Mom gets a cheese grater, your besties get posters of a shirtless Zac Efron, and you get new jeans, a purse, sunglasses…wait, what?!  Don’t be a gift slut.  I know it’s hard to shop solely for other people with all of the good deals out there, but try to limit the things you buy for yourself.  Plus, if you get everything you want before Christmas, what’s everyone else going to get you?  A freakin’ Shake Weight?

Don’t be “that girl” at the party. There’s bound to be plenty of holiday parties over break full of ugly sweaters, mistletoe, and lots of Christmas cheer.  Since you’ll probably be bumping into old classmates you haven’t seen in awhile and douchey boys that may have turned you down back in the day, you’re obviously going to want to impress them. Show them what they missed out on. And you will!  Drink a reasonable amount, flirt a little, have fun.  Just please don’t be the girl that ends up totally sloshed, facedown in a plate of fruitcake.

Leave extra cookies and milk. With how naughty you’ve been, it’s probably a good idea to fill Santa’s belly a little bit more this year.  Yes, I’m saying you need to suck up. Big time.

I can’t make any promises, but if you follow these guidelines, Santa will be sure to drop a couple “ho’s” off the end of your title this year.

We’ve reached the mid-way mark of October, and that means that we at CollegeCandy are really psyched for Halloween. We’re definitely still pondering what to wear on the 31st, but when it comes to children’s costumes, there are a few get-ups we’d rather not see prowling the streets.

The following is a list of Halloween costumes for children to avoid, containing several funny, inappropriate, and unsafe outfits we’d rather not see on our younger siblings and babysitting charges.

1. Pinocchio with Strings

A Pinocchio costume is all well and good, but the strings on this thing look really unsafe. Can you imagine this kid running around all hopped up on chocolate in the dark? That sh*t is gonna get tangled. And based on this photo, I don’t know what these strings are suspended from–maybe the kid’s chaperone is supposed to hold them? Putting your kid on a leash for Halloween. Nice.

2. Corpse Bride

This costume sort of looks like Lindsay Lohan’s “ex-wife” costume from Mean Girls. But what’s truly frightening here is dressing up your little sis as a sexualized, virginal corpse. Not so hot.

3. Austin Powers

I’ll definitely admit, when I first saw this costume I laughed my ass off. You can almost hear this kid snarling, “Yeeeah, baby!” But in order for him to pull off The Spy Who Shagged Me with charm, he’d have to know a thing or two about mojo. Maybe it’s best if we let boys be boys for now, since we all know the guys will start pimpin’ sooner or later…but hopefully not before they outgrow their Huggies.

4. Tween Pink Leopard Dress Costume

Ugh. There are SO many things wrong with this outfit. I wouldn’t wear it as a 20-year-old woman, much less a preteen girl. If you take off those ears, this poor child looks nothing less than a prostitute. Let’s see… ho collar? Check. Cheezy pink leopard print? Check. Lingerie gauze? Check. Slutty pleather miniskirt? Check. Revealed navel? Check. Hooker heels? CHECK. How did that old Ludacris song go? Oh yeah: YOU’S A HO.

5. Native American

Maybe this is just me, but I think this costume is really racist. It’s one thing if you want to dress up like Pocahontas, but it’s entirely another if you’re just a Native American. Would it be funny if a Native American child dressed up as a Colonial? My mother grew up just down the road from a Native American reservation, and I know costumes like this wouldn’t fly back in her hometown.

6. A Toilet

Seriously, you are asking for your kid to get a few swirlies with his Starbursts if you dress him in this. Flush this idea, people. Flush it down.

[Seen any other horrifying children's costumes this year? Let us know!!]