Ah, summer. The temperatures rise, the air thickens, our tans darken (unless you work in an office like me), and we go back to the old friends from home that we haven’t spent much time with in the past year. But among the mass of people you used to see all the time in high school, there are six different types of people that you will never see over your long summer vacation at home.

The Facebooker (or The Texter): She writes on your wall. She texts you. Every. Week. “OMG, when am I seeing you??” “What are you doing tonight? Can we make plans?!” She’s always in contact with you, but when you actually want to make plans, she’s vague and flaky. There’s always a conflict in your schedules, and she can never hang out even though she’s all up on your Facebook, sending you notifications like there’s no tomorrow and keeping the red light on your BlackBerry constantly flashing. Get it together, girl — do you want to hang out with me or not?!

The In-Class Friend: You were great friends in AP English, and AP biology, and AP calculus. She was that one cool girl you found amongst the nerds in your classes, and she helped you get through every last one. You got along really well, and you genuinely liked each other. You’d share notes, study together, laugh at your teacher’s ridiculous outfits, and share hilarious weekend stories on Monday morning. But that’s it. Once that bell rang every day, you didn’t really talk much. You’d actually like to hang out with her and catch up, but you’re in completely different circles of friends, haven’t texted her since your group project senior year, and basically lost touch in college, so it just never happens. But you can’t help wondering what she’s up to…

The Girl Who’s Always Working: She’s a bit of an over-achiever. She’s got an internship in the city, two weekend jobs, and a babysitting job at night. This girl is literally NEVER available; she’s either working or too exhausted to hang out. She wants to hang out with you, but she barely has time to breathe, let alone text you. She’s concentrating on building her resume and fattening her wallet this summer instead of soaking up the rays by the pool. You don’t really like it, but you can’t help but respect her for being in an office at 10AM on a Monday instead of sleepily rolling out of bed to go downstairs to eat last night’s leftover sesame noodles for breakfast. Not that any of us do that. Ever.

The Hideaway: This girl is legit MIA. You see her once in awhile, and then she just completely disappears. She’s never on Facebook, doesn’t answer her phone, and never contacts you. You often wonder if she is still alive. You have no idea what she’s up to this summer, except for that she’s taken it upon herself to completely isolate herself from the world. And the worst part is, she’s actually a fun friend who would bring something to the group. But she doesn’t. Because she’s nowhere to be found.

The Girl Who Got a Boyfriend at College: This girl was THE BEST – until she got a boyfriend. She was  that one friend who was always up for a froyo date, a spin class, or a kegger. But now she’s with him – ALL the time. She’s always planning her next visit to see him or going to the zoo with him or going to the beach with him or going back to school with him or video chatting with him or posting pictures on Facebook of the two of them in sepia Apple Photo Booth pictures. She used to be awesome, but now she’s got her boy whipped and is psyched about it. She’s never around, and even when you do see her on an extremely rare occasion (a.k.a. when her boyfriend has a funeral or a doctor’s appointment), she’s preoccupied with texting him, or doesn’t shut up about how amazing he is and how much she misses him. She views your single life as a phase she’s totes over (“I’m just so not into the whole random hookup thing anymore”), and makes you feel bad for not feeling the same way.

The Annoying One You Choose Not to See: The day you graduated, you bade this girl fare-freakin’-well and never looked back. She followed you around in high school and was obsessed with you and everything about you, but you never felt the same way about her. You politely invited her to things in high school because you felt bad, but as soon as you went to college, you knew you never would have to hang out with her again. She’s essentially “the friend nobody likes.” Now she won’t leave you alone, and you can’t stand it. You hate being a jerk, but you constantly have to blow her off by passing yourself as any of the girls above.

Drink up, little lady. It's gonna be a long and awkward night.

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.

How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the room.

What to Expect: Saying the same things over (and over and over) again.

How to Deal: I recommend printing a t-shirt that includes the following information: what school you go to, what (if any) sorority you are in, and an acknowledgment to the fact that you gained/lost weight. When you realize that these are the topics discussed all freaking night long you will thank me.

What to Expect: Awkwardly running into people you haven’t called back since you have been so busy doin’ your thang at school.

How to Deal: Is avoidance an option? If so, I recommend the duck and cover. If this is not an option (because ducking under the nearest table would cause quite a scene/you opted to wear a dress) turning the blame on the other person is always best. Approach them with intention and ask them why they don’t return your calls, explain that you have been tirelessly trying to reach them and it is so crazy that you can’t seem to connect. Make them feel guilty. Works like a charm.

What to Expect: The realization that a DD is necessary.

How to Deal: Make sure you don’t have a car available to you. Blame your parents, your siblings, or a dead battery; anything so you don’t have to be the sober one in the sea of awkward interactions. Trust me when I say that it is nearly impossible to get through this night without booze.

What to Expect: The realization that there is literally no late night food…especially in the form of delivery.

How to Deal: Those suburbs just don’t cater to the hungry-after-2am crowd. Pray for some Totino’s Pizza Rolls in mom’s freezer. Or some delicious leftovers. Do not – under any circumstances – dig into the pumpkin pie reserved for the following day. It is not worth that look of disappointment on mom’s face when she has nothing to serve for dessert.

Now you know and – as G.I. Joe once said – knowing is half the battle. The other half, of course, is finding the perfect outfit.

You may be packed, but are you ready?

Congratulations, freshwomen; you’re almost done with your first semester of college! Finals are coming faster than you can say “blue book,” but before you get there, you have one last big hurdle: going home for Thanksgiving. If you haven’t been home yet during the semester, odds are, you’re excited to see your friends and, though you’d hate to admit it, your family. Keep in mind, though, that your glorious homecoming might not be as bright and shiny as you imagined.

Remember to keep breathing.

The moment you step in your house and drop your bags onto your trundle bed, you’ll grab your parents’ car keys and meet up with your high school friends. These meetings are going to be your refuge from what’s happening at home, but they are also going show you how much you and your friends have changed in those few months at school. When you come together (at your old favorite restaurant/in someone’s basement) you will immediately compete one another with your “craziest college story EVER” and share new life experiences (“Wait. You did…it!?”). It may seem like everyone has changed, but things will fall right back into place when you reminisce about old times by your lockers and talk about all those weirdos who never left your hometown.

There will of course be uncomfortable run-ins with the people you were dying to get away from after graduation, the people you didn’t like that much to begin with and exes. These potentially awkward situations don’t have to be so bad if you remember to wear makeup be nice. It’s entirely possible your time apart has made things better. And if it hasn’t, well, just remember your breathing. And pretend you’re on the phone with someone and don’t see them as you scurry off in the opposite direction.

If you’re a town mouse who’s learned to make her way in the big city over the last few months, your town may feel small when you get back home. (Especially when you realize the only food that comes in the form of delivery is pizza…and only until 9pm.) The time between move-in day and Thanksgiving has flown by, and you’ve grown in leaps and bounds. Your new-found sense of freedom, your worldliness, and your social habits may not go over well. Mom and Dad are expecting to pick up their baby from the airport, not a young woman equally familiar with Marx and Long Islands. Let them let you go in their own time. They will keep telling you what to do and when to be home. They will keep talking to you like you are their baby. Just keep breathing, deeply. It will take some time for them to loosen up.

But that’s really the least of your problems. Your parents–nay, every adult family member–will want to know what your plans are. Do you have a major? What do you think you want to do after graduation? If you don’t know yet, tell them, “I think about being a [blank] major, but I’m still exploring my options.” Most are quick to back peddle and say, “Well, I guess you still have time.” Be prepared to answer the same questions about your major, your friends, your roommates, and your dating habits many, many times. This is perhaps one of the toughest parts of Thanksgiving. Try to talk to groups of family members at once to cut down on the number of times you have to explain things but do not, under any circumstances, show that you’re annoyed. Take a bite of mashed potatoes, swallow, and smile.

Somewhere between all of this you will have to fit in some reading/studying for your Monday classes. Just don’t bring the books out in front of the family; unless, of course, you want to answer 25 more questions on what you’re learning and how you’re doing in that class.

Eventually, with a full belly and a massive headache, you’ll it to Sunday. Pack up your leftovers (don’t forget the stuff in the freezer!), the things you forgot in August (like your high school yearbook), and hug your family and friends tight (promising to “be a lot better” about those weekly phone calls). Take a deep breath and head back to the sanctuary that is your college life.

And with that you’ve made it through your first Thanksgiving. It may have been tough at times (like when your parents made you come home on Saturday night by 11), but just indulge in that leftover stuffing and know that this was only a test run for the real race: Winter Break.

College is full of trial and error. And sadly we find ourselves running into a lot more error than we desire. Being stood up by that guy who we thought was really into us rings a bell. As does spending an entire night and next morning (okay and maybe the afternoon too) puking our guts out.

Eventually, we get a hang of things, but it would’ve been really nice to have some basic knowledge under our belts before we started. And since we are so caring, and so pissed off that no one did it for us, we’ve decided to let the next generation of college girls in on some scared knowledge that will save them a lot of trouble, and in some cases embarrassment, come freshman year and beyond.

1) When a boy wants to study, he does not want to study. When he wants to see a movie he does not want to watch a movie. When he wants to take you to dinner, he does not want to take you to dinner. The ultimate motive of every college guy is sex. When they ask you to do anything, replace the request with sex, if you’re okay with that proposal, then “eat,” “watch” and “study” away. If you would never dream of going there with this guy, then decline promptly, or he will make a move, and you will be caught in an awkward situation.

2) Nothing in the caf is healthy. You’ve been eating salads and sandwiches for 2 months, how could you have put on the freshman 15?! Cafeteria food is not your mother’s cooking. Everything about it is processed. That dressing you’re putting on your salad is going right to your thighs and the meat on the sandwich is far from lean. Save yourself the stress (and the stretch marks) and make your own food. If you are on a meal plan (we are very sorry for you) skip dressings, breaded meats and desserts of any kind. You. Will. Gain. Weight. End of story.

3) You don’t have to be completely wasted to have fun. It might seem like the girl who’s always drunk is sucking the most life out of college. This is where you are wrong. We aren’t saying to not drink, a buzz is always fun, and pretty much every nightlife activity is more fun tipsy (okay some daytime activities too). But drinking to the point of severe inebriation is unhealthy, unsafe and will have you kissing the toilet all night.

4) Beware of alcohol mixing. Everyone’s stomach is different. I have friends who can take a shot of vodka, have a margarita, and then down a can of Budweiser as their nightcap without having as much as a headache the next day. I also know girls who have a tequila shot and some jungle juice and start regurgitating it before they can get home. Don’t find out what your stomach can’t handle the hard way.

5) Don’t forget home. It is easy to get wrapped up in college life. It’s really exciting, we know! But don’t forget the things that have been the most important to you up until this point! Make it a habit to check in with your friends form home once every couple of weeks, the mode of communication is up to you (text, Facebook chat them, BBM…). This will save you hurt feelings and arguments come holiday breaks when you call them for the first time in 3 months. And don’t forget about your family. You parents’ hearts are already breaking now that their baby is grown up, don’t pour alcohol on the wound by never answering their calls. Plus, good children who call their mother are usually the ones receiving care packages filled with homemade cookies and extra cash.

What other tips would you guys give to the next generation of college girls to save them the hassle of figuring it out on their own?

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you. So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

So, you’re home for the holidays. God it feels good! No more exams, no more papers – just pure bliss for the next few weeks. Just you, the couch, your home friends and a fridge stocked with all your favorite foods.

The first few days are great: you sleep late, lay around all day and don’t change out of your pajamas until it’s time to meet an old friend for dinner, or run out to get your hair cut (because you would NEVER trust one of those people on campus to do it).

But by day three, the novelty of being home starts to wear off. Your mom starts yelling at you to make your bed or hang up your jacket. She starts waking you up at 10 am with the familiar, “you already wasted half the day!” She starts pestering you about your grades, about when you are going to maybe get a part-time job, and about your love life.

You love your family and are so grateful to be home, but you just need to get a little space. You call up some of your friends and ask them to meet up with you at the bar downtown (you know, the one you tried to sneak into when you thought you were a cool high school senior). As you go to leave the house, though, your mom is right there.

“Where you going?”

“This late?”

“Who ya going with?”

“Who is driving?”

“Will you have a designated driver?”

“What time are you coming home?”

“Do you plan on spending any time with the family?”

“You know, drinking on a weeknight means you have a problem.”

“Don’t get home too late, or you will sleep the day away again tomorrow and you have laundry to do and gifts to wrap and I need help shoveling the driveway….”

For a moment you wonder if the dorms are open early and if it would be awful to spend the holidays alone in your double. Or if anyone would notice if you kicked your mom in the shins and made a run for it. But then you think of that homemade lasagna in the fridge (and how good it will be when you get home from the bar) and you suck it up, kiss your mom goodbye, and leave. It’s only a few more weeks. You will survive.

Don’t worry; we’ve all been there. And, yes, the lasagna (or brownies, or kugel, or whatever her specialty is) is totally worth all the rest.

Sure, it was nice to be home. But I kept feeling like I had to go back to school, like this was more of a temporary sleepover than a homecoming. While the weekend kept me busy from noticing that my house was not exactly home, it also uncovered a new strangeness which college created—meeting up with high school friends.

Most of my high school friends, all of whom I have known for years, go to college within two hours of my hometown. So when a few of us come home for the weekend, we all come home for the weekend. And while I loved being around people who never need an explanation for my random songs or not-funny jokes, it was also startling to see how just a few months have changed us.

I left my friends for the entire summer, and I noticed little change when I came back. But now my friends are not just sitting around their houses or working at the local Dunkin’ Donuts; they’re making friends, testing their boundaries and (some of them) are becoming people who I never would have talked to in high school. When it’s just the few of us watching a movie or walking around town, I can’t entirely ignore the college sweatshirts, new belly-button rings and anecdotes starring new best friends. I can’t pretend that this is last June, when we all just graduated and were ready for something new.

We all desperately needed something different from our perfect little hometown. Well, we got what we wanted. And now, the constant of friends and home have been fogged. When I walked back into my dorm after Fall Break, arms filled with cleaned laundry and warmer coats, a friend leaned over the balcony and said hello. I realized then that while my house and my friends will never be exactly the same as they were, they will still be there for me when I need to escape from college.

But now I don’t need to escape so much. When I enter the dorm, I have people welcoming me home.

[Photo courtesy of danielbowen.com]