Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m pretty sure you already answered a question like mine but I couldn’t find the answer, so here goes. I’m a high school senior applying to college and I’m having a bit of a problem with my safety school. It’s brilliant: great nightlife, safe area, amazing dorms and has a course that I love. One bad thing though: it’s my hometown. The dorms are down the road. The campus is a 10 minute drive from home. Not that I don’t love my hometown and my folks, but isn’t college my one chance to become independent and get a little space? When it comes down to it, I want to be able to stumble home drunk at 2 a.m and not have to worry about seeing people I know on every street corner.

Would staying in town for college be a waste of an experience? [Ed. Note: No! Just ask our commuter student!]

Should I apply to a worse school just because I don’t want to stay in my town? I mean, my folks think I should stay in dorms (and I will) but still. Any advice would be lovely

- Confused about College

Dear Confused about College,

Well, I’m more of a relationship columnist, but…well, I really like your question. So, okay, I’ll come at this from the angle of forming new (and dealing with old) relationships via college, yes?

Yes, a major function of college is to have new experiences. You may indeed feel the need to “stumble home drunk at 2am” (although, if you do, and this goes for ALL OF YOU, please NEVER NEVER do it alone!!! Stumbling in any condition at 2am anywhere is not safe enough to go it alone!!!), and certainly that is harder if you’re worried about running into people.

But, look, you’re certainly not gonna bump into your parents on campus. So that’s a plus. And I think it’s really great and supportive of them that they want you to live in a dorm even though the school’s so nearby. It’s cool that they want you to have new experiences without them.

This leads me to believe they’ll probably kinda leave you alone. So you can check that off your list of worries.

As for running into people you know from, say, high school–well, they’ll all be busy having their own new experiences. I doubt they’re gonna care what you’re doing, just as you probably could give a shoop about what they’re doing out at 2am.

Who knows? You might even find that, outside the context of high school, someone you’ve known for years and never connected with could be really cool. Old associates often become new friends.

And, honey–if it’s a good school, that, honestly, is more important. Don’t go to a worse school just to avoid old neighbors! Seriously, girl. You got a good head on your shoulders. Go to a good school and use it!!! Besides, it’s your safety school, yes? You may not even end up there.

Here’s to hoping you get into your first choice and have all the exciting, brand-new, branching-out experiences you crave and deserve! (WHILE, of course, maintaining your GPA!!!!!!!!)

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

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But while some are checking their luggage and loading on the sunscreen, more than half of college students will actually be sticking around for break. Maybe it’s the struggling economy, perhaps it’s a pair of hostile and nervous parents; whatever the reason and no matter your longitude and latitude, Spring Break is an annual week that should be soaked up by all. Yes, even in your teeny, tiny dormroom.

1)      Take time off: OK, so maybe your surroundings are missing a few palm trees and a couple thousand college students running wild but the point of Spring Break is to do just that: break. Close the text books, put away the planner and relax for the week. You will certainly need the relaxation after the midterms you have just endured and to plow you through the upcoming weeks leading up to finals.

2)      Be the biggest loser: Though you might feel like the big loser for not buying a boarding pass and a new bikini, I don’t mean it literally. Make like the contestants on The Biggest Loser and use the week to get on track with fitness. Maybe studying has veered you off the path towards that summer bod. Well then, use the week to get outdoors, pump iron at the gym (which will be nice and empty for a change!) and get back on track. Delight in the idea of saving yourself from all the calories that would love to take a vacation on your body, in the form of several margaritas and a plate full of nachos by the pool, and do yourself some good.

3)      Become a college connoisseur: The beauty of Spring Break is the fact that colleges break at all different times. See this week as an opportunity to visit friends from other schools. Take to the pull-out couch of some of your closest buds at other schools and appreciate the seven days you have to bridge the distance that school can put between some friendships.

4)      Finish your sentences (without any slurring): Spring break is a great excuse to tie up loose ends. Throughout the semester we rack up a long to-do list but don’t always find ample time to tackle it. Take the week to finish what you started – that book you got halfway through, your closet that you meant to clean out, a list of friends you have meant to catch up with.

5)      Think outside the bar: So you have your traditional hot spots that you hit up every Monday Thursday through Saturday.  And while it is hard to stray away from ritual during the semester, there is so much to do outside of these typical destinations. Hit up a new part of town, see what the “off-campus” area has to offer. You may just thank yourself for stepping away from the usual Friday night activities and finding a new hot spot to hit up when school is back in session.

6)      Treat yourself: You saved a ton of green ones by not charging the all-inclusive stay at the five-star hotel to your credit card. Isn’t it safe to say that you can splurge a little and treat yourself? A day at the spa, a shopping trip, tickets to see a good sports game. Not heading out of the country for Spring Break is not meant to be a torturous sentence;  give yourself the break you deserve and bask in the fact that you are spending 1/27 of what your classmates have in order to do so.

7)      Embrace the solitude: It’s hard to get any alone time when school is in session, so take advantage of having your room and your campus to yourself. Sleep late; do a power cleaning; watch what you want, when you want, without any distractions. Sure, one can be the loneliest number, but it can also be quite pleasant when you haven’t experienced it in awhile.

In my last blog, I wrote about the splendors of holiday hookups. (If you haven’t read it yet, get on it!) Now that most of us have exhausted the extent of our winter break hook-ups, I thought I’d take a second look at this most treasured of holiday traditions. As it turns out, there are a few things that actually can go wrong…

The Parent Thing: Even though we’ve moved out, most of us hate the thought of our parents knowing anything about our sex lives. This proves to be a huge problem when you’re actually hooking up under their roof. Nothing makes you feel like you’re back in high school more than tip-toeing through your house with a guy in tow. If you stay at his house, on the other hand, you run the risk of being discovered by his Mom and becoming “that slut” that’s sleeping with her baby.

The Small Town Thing: No matter how big of a city you live in, you can’t deny that we live in a very, very small world. And nothing proves that more true than a hometown hookup rumor spreading like a wildfire. I swear, once one person finds out and spills the beans, it’s all over. You can bet by the end of the week anybody and everybody, from his Mom to your 8th grade woodshop teacher, will know of your little rendezvous(s). Or, if you’re like me and accidentally leave a hickey on his neck, you don’t even need anybody to say anything for the entire world to know. My bad.

The High School History Thing: This is slightly related to the Small Town Thing. If you and your hookup of choice are from the same town or high school, it is very likely that they have been involved with other people that you know. Just be sure that if you’re hooking up with someone, that you’re not gonna piss off your or your partner’s ex-lovers, best friends, or relatives. I learned this puppy the hard way, and believe me, it really sucks.

The DTR Thing: By DTR, I mean the loved and loathed “Define The Relationship” conversation. Once you start hooking up, you and your guy are going to have to discuss where you want your relationship is and where you want it to go. This holds especially true if you’re hooking up with someone you’ve already been involved with. Do you want to get back together or stay friends with benefits? Hookups during school breaks put an expiration date on any affairs, often speeding up the onset of the DTR and the difficult questions that ensue.

Did anybody else run into obstacles with their holiday hook-ups? Or am I just severely crippled in the suave department?