It’s back-to-school time, and I’ve been spending some time lately thinking about what college means for our sex lives. College is our time to explore anything that interests us to find out what we really like and what type of people we want to become. We explore different majors, career paths, friendships, relationships, and sexualities. College is the first time in our lives most of us can really embrace our sexuality, explore it, and figure out how to truly enjoy it.

I go to a women’s college, so my first year was filled with questions from friends back home asking if I’d become a lesbian. My answer: so what if I had? And why did they care?

Despite the freedom we gain in college from adults, we are still constrained by our peers’ expectations of us, which can make it difficult to remain true to ourselves and create a healthy personal (and sexual) identity.

Here are some tips I hope you girls (and guys) can keep in mind while exploring sex in college. Read More »

Every day, thousands of people turn to Yahoo.com’s readers to ask some very…er…interesting questions. Because other people’s stupidity makes us laugh, we spend a good 2/3rds of our online time perusing the questions to make us feel better about ourselves. (Other 1/3 of our time? TFLN, of course.)

And while the questions are often really disturbing, we totally get why people turn to the interwebs to ask them. After all, would you ever want to ask your BFF this question face to face?

But this question – well, this one totally takes the cake. Who knew there were people this dumb out there?

See what the Yahoo community had to say here.

Ok, so a lot of you didn’t like us ripping into California yesterday – we get it. And we’re sorry for being mean and rude and stereotypical, but we were just. so. angry. This whole Prop 8 thing has us really heated up – we can’t sleep, we can’t work, and we can’t stop drowning our anger and tears in whatever food happens to be in our sights (yes, that includes a near frozen waffle).

We are just baffled by some people’s blatant disrespect for others, not to mention their need to control something that has nothing to do with them. We really feel that sexuality is fluid, that anyone (yup, even you) could one day find yourself in love with someone of the same sex…and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Because this topic is so near and dear to our hearts right now – and since we don’t have the money to fly out to California and beat those idiots into submission – we thought we’d have a chat with our boys about sexuality. Granted, our boy doesn’t speak for all boys (especially on this topic), but he is always so insightful. And he was the only one awake this morning at 4am when we couldn’t sleep and needed someone to vent to while we shoveled pudding into our mouths to heal our battered hearts… Read More »

[We'd like to take this opportunity to welcome our favorite love, sex and relationship blogger - Lena Chen - to the CollegeCandy team. Lena is smart, funny, and her perspective on all things relationship is incredibly thought provoking. We're so pumped to have her here, so be sure to let us know in the comments what sorts of things you'd like Lena to discuss!]

Marriage isn’t a right; it’s a privilege. Depending on the time, place, and partner, getting married could be harder than getting into Harvard, if not downright impossible. As recently as fifty years ago, miscegenation laws would have forbid me from marrying my boyfriend (or any man not my race) in certain areas of the United States. Before that, the legal and social benefits to getting married were denied to minorities, immigrants, and the poor for centuries. Marriage is, for lack of a better analogy, membership into the biggest country club in the world.

For me, getting married would be a personal endorsement of some of the worst societal norms in existence.

The supposed “right” to marry has never been much of a right at all, and our understanding of marriage as a basic liberty is unique to contemporary times. Thanks to my predisposition for heterosexuality, it’s a liberty I could easily exercise, but I’d much rather march in a rally than down an aisle, because I find it difficult to take part in a practice that is denied to others (plenty of them my friends). Even with the best of intentions, I can’t imagine that my own wedding will serve any purpose but to reinforce existing norms, such as the idea that a relationship is only valuable if recognized by a third-party institution. Read More »

(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E. [Guys We Wanna Eff]. This week, we turn our attention to the slick, sarcastic, and suave Neil Patrick Harris, who has been revving up our engines since age sixteen.]

I know what you’re thinking: Neil Patrick Harris is a looker and all, but uh, doesn’t he bat for the other team? You would be right about that, but for this week’s GWWE (or would that be, GGWWE- Gay Guy We Wanna Eff?) I’m longing for that boy-he’s-so-awesome-maybe-I-can-score-a-conversion-eff.

Can you blame me? I’ve had a hard time keeping my temperature down since Neil was sporting lab coats in Doogie Howser, MD. He had everything my teenage heart desired: good looks, great smarts, and a stethoscope (what better way to hear my pulse beating, “eff-me, eff-me, eff-me”?).

And Mr. Harris beat the child-star stereotypes to become a successful (and sexy) entertainer. He has been seen most recently in the hit series How I Met Your Mother, but is also well known for his hilarious portrayal of—well, himself—in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. But best of all, he starred in the web-based mini-movie Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, as a mad scientist in love with pretty Penny from the laundromat. Was it absolutely hysterical? Yes. Did I superimpose my own image over Penny’s to imagine Dr. Eff Me singing and pleading for my affections? Maybe. Read More »

So for those of you who have been faithfully watching this season of Grey’s Anatomy, I’m sure you are equally as stunned, fascinated, and intrigued by Calli’s decision to play for both teams. Her relationship with heart surgeon, Dr. Erica Hahn, has been heating up our T.V. sets the last few weeks and has definitely created some OMG moments. But it looks like ABC isn’t feeling this girl-on-girl action, or the character in general.In a sudden turn of events, Erica Hahn, played by Brooke Smith, has been written off the show. Writer Shonda Rhimes had no part in the decision making, but rather was taking orders from the network, citing they had issues with the level of inappropriateness of Calli’s thoughts about Erica (ventures south of the border, playing with the girls, etc.), as well as issues with Dr. Hahn’s overall character.

After last week’s revelation of her homosexuality, Dr. Hahn will be making her last appearence at Seattle Grace in this weeks episode.

(WARNING: SPOILER!!)

Read More »

I have to admit that I usually know what to expect from Nip/Tuck:

a) a crazy, graphic display of plastic surgery

b) kinky sex

c) Dr. Troy being a creepy and naked

d) Dr. Troy having kinky sex, and of course

e) that one moment in the show where I’m like, “holy sh%$ that is messed up!”

But last night’s episode caught me totally off guard when it became quite obvious that Julia, MacNamara’s ex wife, was playing for “the other team.” Huh? And with the hot and beautiful girlfriend of Ellen Degeneres, Portia de Rossi, no less! I seriously never saw this one coming. I mean, think about it: Julia had been married to a hot plastic surgeon for years, she’s a mom and she’s even sexed it up kinky style with Troy a few times. Is this not hetero behavior?

Yet when Julia went to LA to introduce/explain her current lady love affair to the boys, she didn’t come out and say, yeah I’ve been into chicks all of this time. She explained to MacNamara that it was all about the “connection” and the fact that the communication and sex were easier.

Hmmm … First I thought, how in god’s name is the sex easier? But then, I began to wonder, is sexual preference really about the connection? Can the actual person, despite gender really be what seals the deal? Read More »

I’ll be the first to admit that I did some messed up shit to my frenemies during my younger years. One time in middle school, my friends and I poured Snapple and mashed strawberries in a girl’s backpack because we were fighting for absolutely no reason.

Seeing as our military isn’t in middle school (though they are in a similar predicament: fighting for absolutely no reason), I’d expect a little more tact from them. But apparently the U.S. military has come down with the mean girls-syndrome that I suffered circa the strawberry incident.

No, they didn’t mash strawberries in the backpacks of Iraqi extremists. But they did do some very Regina George-esque plotting to create a gay bomb to use against enemy soldiers. A gay bomb. Seriously.

A watchdog organization that tracks military spending exposed the U.S. military’s plan to build a bomb that could turn opposing soldiers gay—consequently shifting their focus from fighting to sex, CBS reported.

The watchdog group found that “the Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistibly attractive to one another.” Read More »

In case you’re still interested in the giant haired oddity that is Sanjaya Malakar, an article released by People Magazine today has the strangely vacant-eyed singer explaining that he’s not gay, he just “understands woman” better than most men.

Uh. Okay. If by understand woman you mean emulate their hair styles and songs, than sure. I’m with ya, Sanjy. Your face certainly looks womanly. You’ve got some of the best un-collagened lips I’ve seen on a celebrity in quite some time, and that voice is definitely reminiscent of a female warble. I mean, Justin Timberlake has a high voice, but you take the squeaky cake.

“I got teased in school because people figured I must be gay because I understand women” Sanjy is quoted as saying in the article, “I think that’s why guys didn’t like me – because I got along with girls so well. When I went up to girls they would give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek like I was their gay friend. But I was the straight guy that understood them.” Read More »