Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have a confession: I’m guilty of being a serial cheater.

The zenith of my misbehaving ways was probably when I was the girlfriend of around four guys at once from four differents countries, and I saw them all pretty much every week. And that was when I was very young (14).

I’m a bit older know, so I should know better, right? The thing is, I don’t really feel like cheating’s wrong, though I know whomever I’m seeing probably does. It just doesn’t bring me shame at all, mainly because I just argue that physical stuff is one thing and love is another.

Maybe it’s connected to the fact that I have a very hard time summoning actual emotion for the person(s) I am with, but I’m good at getting involved with guys (and girls) quickly. I give people that wild, bohemian, crazy lovin’ everybody needs to experience once before they die, and that’s me. That’s the free spirited affection and adventure I provide them with. I see it a little bit as an exciting game – something that’s just fun for me because I honestly believe that I am undesirable, so it’s always a pleasant surprise to have someone worship me. But then, when I let them get me, it’s not fun anymore and I have no emotion for them. I never did. I just make myself believe it, maybe to not let them down. Whatever; I still drive em for a while, then let them go.

Do I need help? How will I learn that cheating is wrong? Should I learn that cheating is wrong?

Love and car-sized cupcakes from Indienmark

Dear Love and car-sized cupcakes from Indienmark,

Honey, I like you. Really. I find your letter very endearing. But if you were a guy writing in about a girl like you, I’d say, drop that bitch.

Here’s why:

Forget, for a moment, the moral stuff. Because, yeah, you make your own morals. Unfortunately, you do not make your own antibodies to AIDS. Or herpes. Or any of that tasty stuff.

In Tuffy’s oh-so-humble opinion, ain’t nothing wrong with sleeping around. HOWEVER, you must ALWAYS use protection, and you REALLY should tell the other people, just to give them the option. You are perfectly allowed to have multiple partners. They, however, should, like you, be allowed to choose whether or not they want to have multiple partners.

But the larger issue is, of course, the fact that you feel undesirable. Girl, you’re obviously desirable! You really need to acknowledge how many people want you, and that you have value (and would even if they didn’t).

Here’s what I want you to do: I want you to sit down and make a list of all the things you don’t like about yourself. Take a look at the list. What things are valid and could actually be improved? What things are ridiculous and just low-self-esteemy? Okay, now rip that flippin’ list up and make a list of things you like about yourself. Hang the like-yourself list next to your mirror so you have to look at it every day. You gotta love yourself, girl. How else you gonna get what you need?

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

So, do I believe that all men are destined to cheat? Yes and No. Here’s why.

I think everyone – male or female – can be destined to cheat on his or her significant other. I think monogamy is an extremely hard thing to achieve, no matter what gender or age. Monogamy in your 20s is especially difficult; the temptations of college parties, combined with the excessive amounts of booze, plus a heated fight with your bf or gf, can lead to you waking up in the morning thinking, “oh my God!” when you swore to yourself you’d never cheat (trust me, I’ve been there).

But do I think men are more inclined to cheat than women? Well, that depends. Personally, I think men and women cheat for different reasons. Men (and I’m not talking ALL men, so you faithful ones, don’t get your boxer briefs in a twist) cheat because, well, they see a hot piece of ass and want to pounce. Men cheat because they feel an urge (usually in their pantelones) and want to act on that urge, with someone who isn’t constantly nagging them about doing this or doing that, as us girlfriends are known to do.

Women, however, cheat because they’re looking for someone to fill a void in their current relationship. Women look for what is missing and, if they feel like they’ve found someone who fills that void, that’s when they act and cheat.

Now, do I think men may be more likely to cheat than women? Yes I do. When it comes to cheating guys, there are the bad eggs everywhere; being able to weed out the good from the bad (mostly done so by learning the hard way) is when you’ll find the honest, faithful, and commitment-ready males we all know and love.

What do you think? Do men cheat more than women?

[photo from womansavers.com]