Ever look back on a relationship and say, “God, if only I’d known all this crap a the beginning”? I know I have. I know I still do. I know that I probably will in the future, hopefully not the near future, but I admit the possibility. Hindsight’s the most perfect vision there is. Look, it isn’t always feasible or conceivable to know everything that’s going to clearly point out things will not end well. And not everything you wish you knew right at the beginning is necessarily a deal breaker, but there’re things that are important enough to warrant disclosure. And while, yes, in the linear timeline we are forced to live within a lot of the big stuff does come out eventually, it doesn’t hurt to take stock of what we wish we’d known. Even if only as a way to help you approach the next relationship. These are 11 things you wish he’d been upfront about and thus could have saved you some serious grief!

initiating the gallery...

So there you have it, ladies. Almost a dozen damn things that you can look back on and say, “It’d have been nice to know THAT!” Again, disclaimer, not all of these need necessarily be deal breakers but they’d have been useful knowledge. The fact is that we never fully know what to expect from another person. We’re filled with quirks, habits and small moments of eccentricity that we never think about being a big deal to others. Well, kids, it seems pretty obvious, I’ll give you that…

Did I miss any? What are things you wish you’d known at the beginning that you were complicating things for you near the end?

Being An Open Book,

The Dude

There are those rare circumstances where you and your partner connect on every level and every romp in the sack is transcendent and magical and effortless. But for most of us, we usually end up with a partner who intuitively understands only some of our needs. The only way to get the most mindblowing sex you can imagine? Talk that ish out.

I know, sometimes talking about sex with the person you’re having it with is downright terrifying. You don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings, or maybe you tell yourself you’re okay with having sex that’s only 70 percent awesome. Eventually, however, you could start to get resentful of the fact that you only orgasm 30 percent of the time (when you know that you’re capable of orgasming 98 percent of the time), or you’re going to develop a complex about your boobs (because, OMG, WHY WON’T MY BOO TOUCH/LICK/SUCK them? ARE THEY NOT GOOD ENOUGH?). Or you’ve suddenly realized you really want to try spanking, but you assume your partner isn’t into it because they’ve never brought it up.

But really? All of those problems, and a lot of other sexually related ones, can be solved by just talking about it in a mature, respectful way.

If it’s something more significant, like a noticeable decrease in your partner’s sex drive, have a conversation about it outside of the bedroom (where pressure and expectations may hinder openness). Make sure you’re as non-confrontational as possible and have an open, two-way dialogue. Even if you don’t resolve your problem immediately, at least you’re both on the same page. If you find yourself hitting an awkward wall, either keep talking through it or take a break and then come back to it. Sure, the conversation may get awkward or tense, but the best way to get past that is to confront it head on.

Not all circumstances require a super intense convo, though. Sometimes, you can suggest things while you’re hot and heavy. If your partner has a tendency to neglect certain parts of your body, all you have to do is softly move their hand to wherever you want it (okay, so occasionally closed mouths can get fed…) And, you know, it’s amazing how much power one sexy whisper can have. If your partner has a tendency to stop licking/sucking/penetrating before you hit orgasm, a simple, encouraging “no, don’t stop, keep going” may be all you need. When their hard work is rewarded with you reaching the pinnacle of sexy pleasure, they’ll totally get the message (hello, positive reinforcement!)

When it comes to toys and kink, I’ve found that it’s always most comfortable to talk about it in post-coital, cuddly afterglow, when you can ask your partner questions about what they’ve fantasized about/what they’re interested in trying sexually, and you can divulge your interests too.

Maybe none of these suggestions will work because, worst case scenario, you’re not sexually compatible. And that’s when you decide whether you’re okay with settling for less than spectacular nookie or break it off. But there’s also the distinct possibility you and your partner are a lot more similar than you thought, and you can work together to have the most fabulous sex ever. Either way, you’ll be making decisions based on facts instead of assumptions.

At the end of the day, if you want something, you gotta communicate it. I firmly believe that if you’re willing to open your legs to someone, you should definitely be able to open your mouth.

And its only right that we return the favor, treat them equally awesome in all areas of friendship. But even with the best of intentions, it’s easy to get sidetracked. Life is busy and staying touch is hard. And scheduling time in for her panic attacks as well as your own can get kind of tricky.

Maybe CollegeCandy can make that a little easier?
Here are five easy ways to be a good friend.

1. Make time to chat. Like I said, life is busy. And whether you and your bestie live down the hall or across the country staying in touch is never easy. But if you don’t know what’s going on in her life how will you know when to start in on rules 2-5. Skype or Facebook message. Text or e-mail. Take a coffee break or do dinner. But make time to chat. She’ll appreciate that you care enough to care about her life.

2. Listen before you speak. It’s important to give advice (see rule number 3) but before you do that you need to know what’s going on. Okay fine, so maybe you know that the guy she’s crying over is so not worth her tears. But she obviously doesn’t think so. Find out why. Don’t speak over her and don’t give your opinion before she’s given hers. Know the situation, understand where she’s coming from, and then…

3. Tell the truth. Now that you know what’s going on, it’s time to talk. Whether she wants to know what you think of the new boy toy or which top to wear to dinner, be honest. It’s a cliché for a reason. She’ll appreciate your candidness, and she’ll know she can trust you. It’s simple, and to the point. It’s something everyone can do, and something everyone should do.

4. Make her laugh. We all have those days. You know, those days that make you want to curl up in a ball under the covers and never come out. And on those days when we feel like nothing is ever going to get better again, and the easiest thing a friend can do is make you realize that isn’t true. So tell a stupid joke. Or share your own embarrassing story. Or share one of ours! Make light of the uncomfortable situation. Just make her laugh. It’s a simple and easy way to make her realize things are going to be okay.

5. Know when to break out the chocolate. Or the chocolate martinis. But that’s just semantics. The point is that sometimes a girl needs to wallow. And you need to let her know its okay to do that. Whether she broke up with her boyfriend, failed a test, or is having family problems, breakout the Ben and Jerry’s and head on over. Watch old movies or listen to cheesy music or Facebook stalk all night long. It won’t solve her problems, but it will make her forget about them for a while.

This isn’t the stuff of brain surgeons. It doesn’t require crazy amounts of money, or endless planning. It  just requires cutting a little time out of your week to be there when she needs you to be. Because really, that’s all a good friend is, don’t you think?

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve been with my bf for two and a half years and I think it’s a good thing to be friends with his three guy best friends. Not in a way that says ‘I’m gonna be THAT girl and force myself into all of your conversations and hang out times,’ but they are a big part of my life. They aren’t going anywhere, they all grew up together, and I’m glad my guy has some really good friends who know him so well. My boyfriend is adorkable – he’s pretty nerdy but he’s not terribly socially awkward like his good friend … let us call him “C”.

After trying to help C land a girlfriend (I’m a good wingwoman), we’ve become close.  Lately, some friends have been hosting Saturday Drinking Nights every week or so at their apartment. My boyfriend and I meet up with C and go there to have a good time, play Circle of Death, important college type things.

At the first drinking night C kept insisting he put his arm around my shoulder so that I may function as a stabilizer. He was quite wobbly so I accepted that excuse. The next drinking night two weeks later, I was sooooooo drunk by the end. One of my friends said she swore he saw him start off leaning on me for support, then gradually put his arm around my waist and had been gradually moving his hands toward other places before he noticed her watching him like a hawk. I can’t verify with my boyfriend – he’d been out on a 7-11 run.

Three weeks later a dear friend of mine was over for dinner while my boyfriend was at a mandatory 3-day family reunion in another state. My friend brought some booze and we were drinking because it was her last night before she left. She got picked up, and I was alone in the house, sorta drunk and at 3 in the morning the dog started barking and growling. I’d never heard her bark in that way, so I thought someone was breaking in. So, being drunk, the first person I called was my bf. He said I should have C come check on me and the house.

So C came over and checked around the house for signs of a break-in while I freaked out a little. Then when he found none there was this awkward 27 minutes of us standing by the back door, me holding it open and him NOT LEAVING. He kept trying to check the windows, locks, curtains you name it. He kept hugging me and telling me it was okay and not to be scared, even though I had been thoroughly done with my mini-breakdown five minutes after he got there.

Then he kept asking me if i needed him to stay with me. At that point I felt very uncomfortable to be even that little drunk with someone who allegedly felt me up while I was too drunk to notice. So I lied and told him that I called a girlfriend before he got to the house and she would let me stay at her house if I was scared. He left very reluctantly, maybe after he realized I was not in the blackout stage and would NOT be taken advantage of. I haven’t talked to him since that night.

So after all this my question is: How the hell can I talk about this with my boyfriend without ruining their friendship? Is it possible?

Dear Stabilizer,
Okay, first of all, I love your use of the word “adorkable.” Coin that shiz.

On to your question:

Girl, stop flooping getting out of control drunk!!! GEEZ!!! Sorry, kids, but it’s just plain stoopid to get blackout drunk at a party. I mean, this guy who you’re supposed to be able to trust tried to feel you up. Imagine what a stranger might do.

Aside from that, though, you’ve actually got a problem on your hands.

I’m pretty sure C has decided he wants you for himself. This is SO not okay, but unfortunately guys are more flexible on that whole getting-with-friends’-lovers than girls are. I’m gonna go ahead and call C out for what he really is: a creep. Stay away.

But before you stay away, have a talk with him. Have the talk during the day and in a public place. AND NO DRINKING. Tell C that you feel his behavior has crossed a line. He will tell you, of course, that it has not. However, you MUST be firm and tell him that you feel it has. Be upfront and give him the details of what has made you uncomfortable. Look him in the eye the whole time and do NOT apologize for how you feel.

He will inevitably try to brush it off, but he’ll be listening. Stand your ground. Tell him that, whether or not he thinks it’s a big deal, it is absolutely a big deal to you, and, either way, you are giving him one chance. If he EVER acts inappropriately in this way to you again, you will tell your boyfriend. If not, then you two can remain distant (NOT close) friends.

There is, of course, the slight possibility that, to protect his own ash, he may turn around and tell a lie about you to your boyfriend. Be prepared for this. Actually, if it were me, I’d make him sign a dated contract saying that you two had this conversation (not that he agrees that he did it, but just that you talked about it). Don’t show the contract to your boyfriend unless C tries to backstab you.

Blech. Just thinking about this guy gives me the heebyjeebs.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

It’s not like you meant to be dishonest, but the words tumbled out of your mouth before you even had the chance to think about them. You’re not lying; you’re sparing her feelings. Does she really need to know that you think she completely overreacted or that no, you don’t think the reason he didn’t call was because he got run over by a truck? You’re just trying to be a good friend. But are you really? Not according to Lori Gottlieb, who believes that being one another’s “yes women” is turning our BFFs into our worst enemies.

I pride myself on always telling the truth, in friendships, in relationships, and at work. Always. Honesty is not only important; it’s necessary. It builds trust, gains respect, and keeps things simple. There is not a single situation that could possibly be made less complicated by lying. At least, that’s what I strive for, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I too have caved to the pressure of being a “yes women” on more than one occasion.

According to Gottlieb a “yes women” is a friend who tells you exactly what you want to hear. She reiterates your opinion right back to you, squashing your fears and reaffirming your beliefs. She makes you feel better about yourself, while also making herself feel better. If you’re right, then so is she. There’s safety in numbers. Misery loves company. We’re just helping each out, right?

Wrong. We think that by lying to our friends we’re helping them, when we’re actually doing just the opposite. Honesty is the best policy. It’s a tried and true cliché for a reason. Wouldn’t you want to know the truth? Isn’t it better that you have a BFF who cares enough to withstand your rage when she disagrees about your new boyfriend? Sometimes, the truth hurts. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable.

Granted, nothing is ever that simple. If the truth will do more harm than good should you still be honest? Your friend just finishes telling you about her horrible day. She woke up late, failed her Poli Sci pop quiz, and then had an argument with her boyfriend. The fight is over and done with and even though you disagree with the way she handled it, nothing can be done about that now. Ben and Jerry’s container in hand, she turns to you. “You think I did the right thing, right?” I applaud the women that won’t cave under that kind of pressure.

And even if you are one of the brave and blunt, that doesn’t always work in your favor. When someone asks for honesty, they don’t actually want honesty. At least, most women don’t. They want to hear you agree with them. They want to hear their own carefully crafted opinion repeated back to them. No one wants to hear “that dress makes you look fat”, or “yes I do think your boyfriend is cheating on you.” No one wants to hear the bad stuff. So on the off chance that your friend fesses up and tells you that the bright orange romper is best left on the sales rack, you probably won’t be particularly happy with her, either.

But maybe you should be?

When it comes down to it, it’s all about personal relationships. What do you want in a best friend? What type of person are you and who do you surround yourself with? Someone who will pat you on the back and tell you it will all work out, or someone who will tell you to stop whining and start dealing? Can you lie to your BFF to spare her feelings or are you always straightforward, despite the consequences?

It’s this ability to see a situation from someone else’s perspective that Gottlieb’s article lacks. She makes interesting points, and offers what could be life changing advice. (Her article has been described as the He’s Just Not That Into You of female friendships.)  But she makes the mistake of assuming that everyone holds the same values that she does. With Gottlieb, everything is black and white, right and wrong. Everyone is exactly the same, and there is only one way to react to a situation. She generalizes, speaks for all women, instead of just herself, and doesn’t stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, there are exceptions to her rules.

What do you think, CollegeCandy readers? Do you want the truth and nothing but the truth? Or would you prefer the white lie and the spared feelings? What would a true best friend do? When is it okay to lie and when are you doing your friend an injustice?

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like botox! ) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Cheating has always been, will always be, a touchy subject. We’ve debated what cheating is, whether you should forgive a cheater, but now it’s time to turn those sneers inward and ask the dirty little question – what if you cheat? (BF DISCLAIMER: This is all totally hypothetical, I promise!) There seems to be a little dissent about whether or not (assuming you don’t get caught) you should confess that you cheated and I think it’s time we got a consensus.

On the one hand – you cheated! Of course you should tell you significant other and take your lumps. Part of being in a grown up relationship (or even a not so grown up one) is being honest with each other and being able to trust that no matter what happens you will deal with it together. Admittedly, this would totally suck if you were the one who had to go begging for forgiveness, and there is a chance that the whole thing will fall apart because of your confession, but otherwise you’re basically forcing yourself and your SI to live a lie.

Also, there’s pretty much always some underlying reason why a person cheats, and if you never admit what you did, odds are that reason is just going to fester inside of your relationship and slowly destroy it anyway. Whether it’s breaking up or getting help for the relationship, at least by admitting it things are moving forward instead of stuck in the bogs fake intimacy.

But, there are some valid reasons not to come clean too (I can’t believe I’m saying this – don’t even think about it, mister!). Obviously, every situation is different, so it’s hard to make a no-exceptions ruling. Some people do cheat once and then realize what a mistake it was and recommit to their relationship. And if you’re never going to cheat again, then isn’t confessing making your partner suffer the torture of knowing they’ve been cheated on just to ease your own guilt? Wouldn’t it be kinder to take the burden of that misery on yourself, to make you and only you live with the pain of what you’ve done and spare the person you care about that anxiety that (let’s face it) will never totally go away? Is it fair that they should have to spend sleepless nights wondering about it, that they should have to question every night you come home late, every friend that’s a little too good looking? No, it’s not. So if you could save them from that, would it be better to?

So here I am on the fence. It’s hard to say what I would do in the situation, or what I would want my man to do if he found himself in it (have I mentioned what a nice bonfire all of your stuff would make, baby? Yeah, seriously, don’t.). Where do you stand? Have you been there? Does anyone else have that Usher song stuck in their heads?  Duke it out, girls!

[Tomorrow, Friday, April 30th, is National Honesty Day. We're all about telling the truth around here (often to a fault), but as one writer argues, sometimes honesty may not be the best policy.]

Whoever said that “honesty is the best policy” has obviously never been in a relationship, nor had a best friend on their period. Sometimes a girl’s best friend is a white lie. Trust me, I know from experience. Not only have I had a petition signed against me (yeah, really), but I’ve also gotten into many fights that could have been avoided by not being brutally honest.

I’m not saying that in every situation we need to lie. In fact, lies can lead to the end of many relationships. There are, however, times when honesty probably isn’t a good idea. Don’t know what I mean? Here are some situations when it’s best to just bite your tongue:

Probably not the best idea: “Sorry, mom; I look like crap because I’m hungover as hell and that dude that stayed over kept kicking me all night, dammit!”
Instead: “I had a late night.”

Probably not the best idea: “Not to be mean, but you are in desperate need of some Listerine. Seriously, what died in your mouth?”
Instead: “Want some gum? There are gonna be cute guys and we don’t want to smell like onion rings.”

Probably not the best idea: “Seriously? Shut up! All I asked you was how you are, not your life story. I don’t really care, I was just trying to make small talk.”
Instead: “Oh, well I’m running late for a study group….”

Probably not the best idea: “Honestly, your laugh is like nails on a chalkboard and I’d rather swap spit with a Golden Retriever than let your slobbery mouth near mine again.”
Instead: “Yeah, you’re a great guy, but things just aren’t working out. ”

Probably not the best idea: “Nice muffin top.”
Instead: “I’m not sure I love the way those jeans look on your butt. We can do better.”

Probably not the best idea: “You look slutty in that dress.”
Instead: “I like the other dress more.”

Probably not the best idea: “ARE YOU KIDDING? He’s clearly not interested in you so just move on already.”
Instead: “There are lots of guys here, what about that cute guy from your Physics lab?”

Probably not the best idea: “You’re the laziest mo-fo I’ve ever met.”
Instead: “Could you take out the trash today? Thanks!”

Probably not the best idea: “STOP STALKING THEM ON FACEBOOK! It’s creepy!”
Instead: Actually, no, that one’s OK. Someone needs to intervene.

In the long run, honesty generally is the best way to go. Lying will get you no where, as people will eventually discover the truth. I am not saying that we need to lie; I am just saying that sometimes being completely and totally honest isn’t appropriate. Sometimes you need to tell the truth in a much nicer way. When your boyfriend’s mother asks you how dinner was the first time he takes you home, tell her it was great. When your friend just got a horrible hair cut and comes to you teary eyed and depressed, do her make up and make her feel good about herself.

Honesty is about packaging. Know how to be honest, and use your discretion when deciding if it is appropriate.

Best friends. Waiting home for you with open arms when you take that first walk-of-shame (or hip to hip, if you’re in the good fight together). Your shoulder to cry on, owner of every secret known to your embarrassing character.  A best friend is there for you when you need to decode that late night text from your crush.  A best friend is there for you when all you want to do on a Friday night is veg out and discuss the important things… like Octo-mom. A best friend will accompany you on the dance floor and be honest if you’re ‘shopping cart’ move is outdated.

And a BFF is there for you to tell you you’re fat?

OK, let me put down my Caramello Bar, and let’s figure this out. A recent survey of 3,000 women revealed that one in five women secretly think her best friend is fat but won’t dare share this information with her.  The study also suggested that the truth was a big “no no” because 1 in 5 women ended the relationship post dishing the info. Now, this seems a little extreme. You mean to tell me relationships end because your BFF tells you to put down the bread stick?

On the surface, as natural as being there for me to watch trashy reality TV, I would want my BFF to be there to tell me the truth about my weight (especially after sifting through my freshman year Facebook album).  Double chins and Smirnoff do not go well together and maybe I need a little outside perspective (sans beer goggles) to see that. Best friends are supposed to be honest with one another and if she can’t tell me the truth about my ever growing muffin top, who can?

But on the other hand, I would be pissed off, hurt and embarrassed.  Maybe, when I attempted to squeeze into all 12 pairs of my jeans with no success, I already realized that. I don’t need someone else to point it out to me and make me feel worse. And maybe I feel good about what I’m wearing and my Beyonce curves; who is she to tell me the cupcake doesn’t add into that happy equation?

I guess I am contradicting myself here, because as much as I want someone (especially my best friend) telling me to lay off the Sun Chips, I want them to lay off my weight issues.  Those issues are mine to control and while I’d like my BFFAEAEAE to be honest with me, there is such a thing as too honest.

What do you think?
Is there an unspoken pact in a friendship to bolster each other and leave the mirror and a scale to do the dirty work?  Do you want your friend to lie to you, or is it your friend’s duty to tell you the truth?

I’m serious. Whether we’re looking for friends with benefits or a one night stand or – worst of all – an actual relationship, we’re terrified to openly admit it. We don’t want to be viewed as clingy or slutty or any other label that will send the guy running for the hills.

Because that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? The reason we’re so scared to say what we’re thinking? That once we do, once we admit what we’ve been praying they’ll pick up on telepathically, the guy in question is going to reject us so quickly we’ll practically see a blur as he leaves?

Not that we should want to be with a guy like that anyway. But the problem is we do want this guy – in some capacity – and we don’t want to know if the word “boyfriend” is repulsive to him. And society (and possibly some past experiences) has taught us that the words “relationship,” “boyfriend,” and “girlfriend” are instant boy repellent.

I’d been sort of seeing a friend of mine for about a month-and-a-half and before we left for winter break, I tried to be honest with him: I couldn’t deal with the crazy back-and-forth anymore, with him acting like we were in a relationship one day, then actively avoiding me the next. Or hugging and kissing me around strangers and my friends, but literally dropping my hand and stepping away when we saw one of his. I was so proud of myself for actually having the nerve to tell him all of this, and to go one step further and flat-out tell him that I wasn’t sure what he wanted, but I wanted a-

That word. The forbidden word we dare not speak. Even, in that vital moment when I was laying my heart on the line, I couldn’t bring myself to say the word “relationship.” I danced around it, alluded, gestured, everything but actually saying it. Imagine how ridiculous I looked…

And the reason was as simple as it was ludicrous: I was worried that since I genuinely had no idea where he stood – and even though I was essentially saying I wanted a relationship – if I actually said the word, he’d immediately reject me. As it stands now, whether I said the word or not probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference. We both knew exactly what I was alluding to, and our decision for him to take the winter break to decide what the hell he wanted probably wouldn’t have been any different had I just used the damn word.

But why are we so hung up on these words? Why do we believe so deeply that they’ll destroy our careful cultivation of anything substantial with a guy? I have tons of close guy friends and I know that plenty of them are perfectly fine with it; hell, one of my friends was smiling for weeks when the girl he was seeing finally agreed to be his girlfriend. And yet, when it comes down to actually using the words with a guy with whom I was personally involved – even though I know he’s a lot like the guy friends I have, seeing as he’s technically one of them – I couldn’t do it. It’s so ingrained in us from an early age not to use the words that it’s almost impossible to overcome.

Not that it would have made much of a difference in this situation; even with my game of charades things turned out to be a total bust. But maybe I would have figured that out a bit sooner had I not been so afraid to say the words.

We all lie, in some form or another. We lie to our parents (it’s not a hangover; it’s a stomach bug), our teachers (I’m late because the bus was delayed, not because I forgot to set my alarm), our employers (it’s my mom’s birthday, not some girl in my hall’s 21^st) and our sexual partners (you’re the best I’ve ever had!).

Lying to someone you’re sleeping with is dangerous territory, though. By lying to them, you could be endangering their physical (or mental) health. Which lies are OK to tell, and what things do we have to fess up too?

Lie: I’ve never worn this lingerie for anyone else.

Verdict: OK. We all have a favorite pair of lingerie, and we’ve probably worn it with more than one partner. After all, good lingerie is expensive, and we shouldn’t have to throw it out just because a relationship ends. But your partner probably doesn’t want to know what you wore last time you canoodled with someone else, so it’s okay to keep that information to yourself, or fib a little if it comes up.

Lie: I never slept with [insert friend here].

Verdict: BAD. The truth will come out eventually, and it will not be pretty. How would you feel if you found out one of your partner’s close friends was actually someone they used to sleep with? It’s best to have this information up front.

Lie: Your family/friends are so much fun.

Verdict: OK. You might hate the way his best friend burps or her crazy uncle that gets way too competitive playing volleyball, but your partner doesn’t need to be privy to this information. These people are going to be in their life for a while, so you best learn to deal with them, or at least act like you have.

Lie: I don’t have a crush on my chem professor.

Verdict: OK. You don’t have to fess up to every little crush you have, as long as there is no chance of the crush leading to anything real. Although, if you do fess up to it, you can probably convince your partner to role-play it with you.

Lie: I’ve always used condoms.

Verdict: BAD. Lying about your sexual health is never OK. If you have had unprotected sex, fess up and get tested, to keep you both healthy.

Lie: I came.

Verdict: BAD. Faking orgasms only hurts your sex life. When you say you like something, you encourage your partner to do it more often. If you lie about having orgasms, your partner will keep doing what they think works, and you’ll suffer the consequences.

What are some lies you’ve told to a sexual partner?