Ending a relationship with someone, no matter how long you’ve dated, is never an easy thing. You have to face someone and tell them – in more or less words – that you don’t want to be with them anymore. For many, it can be quite devastating to the heart (not to mention, the ego).

So, how do you deal?

Some go for the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse. It makes sense; it’s always easier to come up with some reason that conveniently puts the blame on you rather than telling your soon-to-be ex that he really isn’t that funny and you’d rather stab your eyes out with a fork than hear another one of his lame jokes. And, sure, by doing so, you save face and spare their feelings, but ultimately, you’re not being completely honest if you can’t come out and tell them exactly why you’re ending it.

If I’ve ever had to break up with someone, I always try to be as honest as possible, but keep his or her feelings in mind. For example, when my ex and I of four years were falling apart (and even though I still loved him at the time) I knew I had to cut the cord. When I sat him down to discuss why we needed to break up, I was honest: we were killing each other, fighting all the time and I knew it wasn’t going to get any better, ever.

It was an incredibly hard conversation to have, but after 4 years, I felt he deserved that respect. Read More »

The Long Distance Relationship.

It sucks, but I keep telling myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I’ve been in an on and off relationship with this guy for eight years. Yes, we first started dating when I was about ten. That’s a very long time, and we’ve been through a lot, including six month periods of not talking at all. Times where I was depressed and mopey and times where I was rebellious and happy.

He’s my best friend, my love, and the one I’m pretty confident I will be with for the rest of my life. Well, we got back together, again, and now my boyfriend has moved across the country. Yet another hurdle to overcome.

Instead of getting angry or upset, I decided to look at the situation in a positive light. I could go visit for a few weeks, and he would be home for holidays. It can’t be that bad. In fact, I just returned home from a two and a half week visit with him, and it was the most amazing trip I’ve ever had. That vacation definitely solidified everything I’ve felt about him for so long. Yes, LDRs are difficult, but they can be done. If you are willing to work through it like we are, it will be worth it in the end.

But it will be work, so here a few things to keep in mind when you and your man go long distance: Read More »

There are many different views on people who cheat; some think they will forever be doomed to ruin monogamy and the ability to be with one person, faithfully, while others think that cheating once may be a simple human error and may not seal your fate as a serial cheater. The debate on cheating is one I have argued for some time, having been cheated on myself and having been one of those shunned individuals who has cheated as well.

Let’s start with my first scenario: high school boyfriend, dated two years, who happened to forget to tell me that he was simultaneously having a four month relationship with another chick, sleeping with the both of us. Stellar, right? Needless to say, I was crushed; he was the first real boyfriend I sunk my teeth into (Editor’s Note: Kinky!) only to find out he was actually having his cake and eating it too. We broke up once the lovely mistress contacted me and informed me of my wonderful boyfriends’ indiscretions.

A few years later, I’ve let go of what happened back in high school (after all, it was high school, a time when we all made some hasty decisions) and we’ve maintained an actually strong bond as friends. Would I ever consider being with him again, knowing what he did to me, despite our age and immaturity level? No way. I’ll love him as my friend forever, but would never bring myself to trust him again. He may not be a cheater forever, but it’s safe to say that with me, I will see him as someone who always has that possibility. Read More »

He wants to do me.

He wants to do me not.

He wants to do me…

…Then never call again, do me, then tell all of his friends, do me, then flip out about my guy friends…the list goes on. If only the “He wants to do me” sentence could exist without the predictable post sex behavior, I would be living in a much more sexually satisfying world.

The problem with most guys who I have encountered is this: They really believe that if they have intercourse with a girl, she will flip out and suddenly be in love. Maybe all of the guys I know have simply given themselves too much credit because I’m always recycling the same kind of guy over and over again: Artsy and ARROGANT.

I suppose that, for me, there’s a degree of truth to this. But at the end of the day, I don’t want to be in love with anyone. Being in love is a shamefully painful experience to me, honestly. I’d rather be in the casual sex club…but the older I get..the harder it is to stay a member of that club. Read More »

I have a history of falling in love with my best guy friends. I grew up with twin older brothers, so my interest in fart jokes and innate ability to kick back with the boys naturally attracted many males. Unfortunately, the males always looked to me as the best friend and never as the future bride.

It started in the fourth grade. That particular situation lasted until the middle of 8^th. In high school it happened again. First with Jordan, then with Joey. When I got to college it was Ben.

I am not one to keep my feelings to myself. I always need to know. So, after growing sick of giving these boys love advice to use on other ladies, I always ended up blurting out my own feelings. A lot of people I know always wonder how I 1) am constantly finding myself in situations like that, and 2) could ever just come out and lay my heart on the table. I understand their concerns – women have always been taught to let the guys take the lead, to make the guy chase you and to play hard to get. But that was just never my game. Read More »

Addiction. I felt like that was a pretty big theme in last night’s episode. No?

First we had the trainwrecks, Matt and Kimber living in a dump with their newborn baby, who might as well be smoking crystal meth too. Not to mention their brush with gay porn to make money to feed their habit, but I’ll get into that later.

Anyway, let the dissecting begin.

I am dying to know what will happen to Matt and Kimber’s baby. That poor thing may just cry itself to death. But I guess they aren’t completely terrible parents. I mean, they did bring her to the daycare center at the porn production studio. Um, seriously?

Since we’re on the topic of porn, Matt getting into the gay porn biz, is kind of hilarious. If I remember correctly, doesn’t he like to do guys? He may not have gone through with it this time, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he might consider it again since Kimber is now doing their drug dealer.

Now, on to Miss Eden. This bitch deserved to have her ass handed to her by Christian. Yes, he is so unbelievably shady and manipulative, but I really couldn’t help but adore him at this very moment. I never saw it coming. However, I have no doubt that Eden will return with some god awful scheme to get back at him.

Oh so exciting! Read More »

I have a tendency to speak my mind. Especially when my opinion is not particularly welcome.

I don’t think it is my fault; my mother is a very judgmental woman and if she thinks something, then everyone else should agree. Unfortunately, she passed that lovely trait onto me (along with big thighs, ugly toes and an obsession with a clean house).

I have tried to fix it.

For the past year I have made a conscious effort to be less judgmental and to let people make their own decisions.

The only problem I seem to have these days, though, is the inability to find the (oh so fine) line between being overly judgmental and being a good friend. I constantly find myself wondering where one ends and the other begins.

So, when my friend told me she met up with her ex who treated her like a piece of shit I didn’t know how to react.

On the one hand, I wanted to scream and tell her that he is not good for her; that he is only going to hurt her again. I wanted to make it cleat that even talking to him can lead to big, bad ugliness.

On the other hand, I wanted to let her make her own decisions. Let her see if he changed. Let her see if they would even be going down that road again. Then, if things end up as I predict they will, be there to bring her pretzels and frosting and make her smile.

I don’t know what to do. Is telling her how I feel – reminding her of her months of pain – the way to be a good friend? Read More »