Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

When I graduated from college, I told myself that I was never going to behave the way I had for the past four years. Especially since I was no longer going to be attending Thirsty Thursdays, Wasted Wednesdays and Tipsy Tuesdays, and there weren’t horny boys lurking around every corner. Essentially, ‘hooking up,’ in all of its glory, was taking a gracious bow out of my life.  And I accepted it. I was ready to burst into the world of dating, cute little kisses at my doorstep, waking up at 8 am alone and never again embarrassing myself when I walked home wearing a tutu and a Run DMC shirt.

My new mature self truly believed hooking up was for immature people who peaked in college. But not me. I was now an adult and completely grown out of my college meet-a-guy-in-the-corner-and-hump-him-against-a-wall self. Now I’d meet men in grocery stores and in passing on the sidewalk near the cigar shop. (What am I, 50?! Whatever, I saw it.) I had a little fantasy land in my mind where I would meet my knight in shining armor, he would work with numbers, wear a suit and have a passion for life so thick and deep, I would not be able to see the end of it.

I had no time for immature boys who wanted to spoon with me on a futon after we took red headed slut shots together at the bar and talked about Jurassic Park because it was “oh my gaw, so totally our favorite movie in grade school!”  I had no time for the silly guilt I’d feel the next morning until I smoothed it over with my girlfriends. And I had absolutely no tolerance for deciding mid-makeout sesh that I’d rather be eating a tortilla with cheese in my own bed. Read More »

Lesson 14: Sometimes a hookup is just a hookup.

So after a few too many neon blue shots, you’ve let yourself throw caution to the wind and you’ve found yourself in a pretty disconcerting position with your crush or even worse, a guy friend. In the heat of the moment, you’ve shared a steamy night with a guy that’s got you reelin’ for more, not just physically but emotionally, too.

You start to let your mind wander all of the places you’d never let it before, maybe because he was always just a good friend or because you finally got some kind of response from the crush you’ve had for what feels like forever now. While you’re probably not picking up bridal magazines, unleashing all your crazy, you can’t help but wonder what the two of you could be like together, even if you already know it could never work out with him.

Blame it on the female tendency to attach emotion to sexual activity, but there are just some of us girls out there, who cant help but overthink something as primal and physical as hooking up. No need to be ashamed – after all, it’s only natural! And why shouldn’t you connect sexual activity to emotion? For many girls, sex is a deeply personal thing. Read More »

You’re at a house party or a bar… or in line to get into a house party or bar. It doesn’t matter. Wherever you are, you’ve just spotted a very handsome boy and you want to talk to him. You turn to your friends and point him out.

“OMG, girl, he IS hot. Go to him,” they say. Then you spend the next 5 minutes debating the best conversation starter/reapplying lip gloss/yanking your shirt down a wee bit lower to show off the girls. When everything is in order (“Do I have anything in my teeth??” you ask your friends as you flash a big, toothy smile), you move in.

Due to some extreme Power Houring before leaving the house, your friends are feeling rather rambunctious. As you make your way to get a drink, they shove you into the boy. Not part of the carefully laid out plan, but that move has been known to work wonders in the past. Read More »

Dear Dude,

I’m in my first year of college, and there’s this one guy in one of my classes that I like. We aren’t what I’d call friends yet, but I’m working on the whole ‘getting to know him’ thing. So one night last week, he, I, and a couple of friends from the class went for a drink. We were discussing hair, and I was recounting a bad haircut received in my earlier youth. He replied ‘well, your hair looks really great now; you’re one of the most attractive girls on our course.’

…WTF, Dude!? I nearly choked on my drink! It literally came out of nowhere. I figured I’d just continue the becoming friends process, with few flirtations here and there. I must admit, however, I am completely terrible at flirting (I have never consciously flirted with somebody, let ALONE had a boyfriend) but I tried my best, and I thought I was getting some positive feedback…. He calls me sweetheart, I thought there was a bit of the eye contact flirty thing going on, there’s been a few more compliments, and he’s invited me to a few places. (Although with friends.)

A few days ago, we went out to a club, and I thought here was where something could potentially happen if we were all drinking. (That’s the way we all do it, right?)  Alcohol flowing through my veins, I attempted once more to be friendly, and sorta danced with him…. and…..nada. He didn’t reel back in horror, but I didn’t get the reaction I was hoping for. Same sorta thing as before, but nothing incredibly obvious. Disheartened, I tried to cover myself the day after, and blamed the alcohol.

Have I completely jumped the gun here? Because in my book (however limited) guys don’t tell girls they’re the most attractive girl in their class (which isn’t true, we have a professional model in or midst for goodness sake!) unless they’re into them.

I’ve asked my guy and girl friends for advice, and opinions on the matter are firmly divided. Some think he in into me, others think he was just paying me a friendly compliment. (Even when we weren’t really friends!) So…what should I do? Am I reading too much into this? Is he into me? What the heck is going on in this boy’s head?!

Sincerely,
Mindf*cked Read More »

It’s no secret that alcohol changes people. After a night of drinking, we’re often surprised by what we may or may not have done during a night of debauchery. Oftentimes we end up with great stories, but there are also those nights that leave us wondering how the hell we ended up on a stranger’s couch with only one shoe, a purse full of ping pong balls, and 17 new phone numbers in our phone (all listed under names like, “bathroom dude,” “cigarette guy,” and “hgjb52″) .

The truth is, alcohol lowers our inhibitions…and standards…for everything.  We do things when we’re drinking that we’d never, ever, in a million years consider when we’re sober (like mixing ranch dressing and brownies).

Here are five of the most common things that are oddly tolerable – and even preferred – when the booze is flowing through our systems: Read More »

Dear Dude,

I’m a college sophomore and still a virgin.  I’ve had my fair share of “almosts” and do enjoy the occasional heavy petting but I have yet to go “all the way.” I’m not waiting for marriage but I am waiting for a serious relationship with someone I can trust. I used to be confident in my decision (I mean, so what?) and felt no pressure to lose my virginity but lately I’ve been feeling like being a virgin is hurting my chances of finding that someone.

The problem is the handful of boys that I’ve started relationships with in college (emphasis on the word started because it never gets very far) initially say they respect the fact that I am a virgin. However, when that boy finds out that I’m REALLY not going to have sex with him (like never, ever) I don’t hear from him again. And when I try to hide the fact that I’m a virgin guys get mad at me for being a “tease” and disappear, too.

So basically I don’t want to lose my virginity because I’m waiting for “the right” relationship but I feel like being a virgin is preventing me from having ANY relationship. It’s a never ending cycle! Everyone around me is telling me to stick it out and wait for “the one,” but the thought of going through my college career without a real relationship is depressing. So dude, why do guys run away when they find out I’m a virgin? How does a virgin get a guy to stick around? Should I just give it up and get it over with? Or should I start filling out applications for the nearest nunnery?

Sincerely,
Not Necessarily DTF Read More »

Question?! Answer. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have a dilemma. Currently I’m (only) 17 and a junior in high school, though I would like to think that I seem ‘beyond my years.’ At 5’11″, it is not uncommon for adults to think I am older, which can be fun when I’m out on the town with my girls and older guys spark up convos. Lately though, this whole maturity thing has seemed like more of a burden than a blessing. I’m tired of high school; the way teachers still view me as ‘a kid’, the petty drama, and as you can probably guess–the boys.

I have a great group of girl friends who I love so much, and we always manage to cook up some crazy nights out. When I go out with my friends to meet up with guys, they always expect me to get with whoever hits on me. This usually puts me in the awkward situation of being left alone with a Bieber look-alike, trying to form the best pickup line he can muster.

I know that I’m intimidating. I know that I am one of the ‘hot bitch girls who thinks she’s better than everyone.’ But the truth is that I feel so done with it. Most of the guys at my school seem so young, and aren’t very…intellectual. I really love to have actual conversations, no matter how wasted I am, which makes me seem stand-offish to guys who are trying to hook up. The guys who I find interesting are usually people I see being friends with, not hooking up with. At this point I just want to get to know older men, though I am seriously wondering if I might be gay, because I have no interest at all in the guys my age. I am so confused right now, so sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I just don’t see why my friends, who are gorgeous and intelligent, can be open to hooking up with tons of boys, whereas I have to be the one closed off to boys that don’t fit my ‘criteria.’ I would love to be the girl who left all inhibitions at the door, guy-wise. Advice would be great, or just reassurance that this is just a phase.

XOXO,
Men Not Boys Read More »

You had good intentions. Sitting in your childhood bedroom for the 19th consecutive day, eating homemade cookies courtesy of your mom, with nothing stressing you out or occupying your time, you started thinking ahead to 2011. It’s a new year, you tell yourself, a new decade. There’s no better time to make some changes and improve upon yourself.

So you lick the gooey chocolate off of your forearm (how did that even get there?), open up a Word document and start your list of resolutions.

I will complete all of my reading assignments.
…and I will not wait until the last minute to do my reading assignments.
I will not party on weeknights (when I have a class the next day).
I will not eat after 10 pm.
I will make healthier snack choices.
I will workout 6 5 days a week.
I will not hook up with randos…or anyone that I’m not in a relationship with.
I will not wear sweats out of the house anymore.
I will experience the culture of my college town on the weekends instead of watching TV marathons all day long.

Satisfied with the realistically attainable yet positive goals, you save the document, down a few more cookies and go about your day.

NYE comes and goes in a blurry, late-night-pizza filled haze (“THIS IS MY LAST LATE NIGHT PIZZA EVERRRR”) and when you finally wake up sometime near dusk on January 1st, you set your plan in motion. First you hit the gym, then you put on jeans and a sweater to run errands with your mom, including a Staples run to stock up on all the supplies you’ll need for a successful semester. “This isn’t so hard,” you think as you give yourself a mental high five. Read More »

I have spent 8 years (not continuously) with my mouth between a dude’s legs, and while I finally know that I’m good at it (one fine young man – whose name I do not know – exclaimed, “Wow! That was good!”), I still don’t love all the work is involved. It kills my jaw, my neck, and I’d rather let the guy handle things on his own than risk lock jaw on a sweaty appendage.

And do I get paid back? Not often. Lots of guys I know and have “interacted” with really aren’t into making the trip downtown on a lady. “It’s so hard!” they say. “You don’t know what we’re dealing with down there!”

Um, excuse me? They think they have it hard (pun totes not intended)?

I decided to take this issue on myself with my favorite IMing male to see if we could work through our problems and come to some sort of truce for men and women everywhere. Will this entice more men to venture South? We can only hope. Read More »