Yes, it is possible to love J. Biebs TOO MUCH

8 reasons I wish I could afford Anthropologie

A week’s worth of calories in one sitting

Could you date someone who had sex with a hooker

The 50 best cities for love

Hahaha for recasting all movies with gnomes

Had no idea Olivia Wilde was married to an Italian prince

Xtina probably shouldn’t have pregamed…

There’s no way this is true, right?

Men dish on painful sex

Okay, so our generation has received a lot of flack for not being able to form real, long-lasting relationships, thanks to technology and archaic dating rules about college that span from the 1500′s. But here at CollegeCandy, we’d like to give a big smooch of thank you to the politicians who have set the standard for the foundation of great relationships. It’s people like them that give us faith that men can be intelligent, sexy, and cheaters – a three in one. In light of the accusations Al Gore has currently received, here are the 5 lessons these politicians have taught us in love, life and relationships. Thanks, ya’ll.

John Edwards: Keep everything under wraps, I mean everything. Totally okay to be having other relationships, just gotta make sure your significant other doesn’t know about it. I mean, the baby.

Mark Sanford: When married life gets tough, go to an exotic place to relax, unwind and meet the love of your live. Just don’t tell everyone and vanish in plain sight. It’s sooo mysterious and just plain sexy.

Larry Craig: Don’t let jet lag take the spice out of your love life. Take advantage of unique situations, like the ability to hook up in airport bathrooms. It’s convenient and adventurous – knock two birds with one stone.

Al Gore: Don’t let a sexual moment slip you by! Take a moment to appreciate the fact that someone is touching your naked body. Do them a favor and touch them back.

Elliot Spitzer. Having trouble meeting people? Have no fear, for $10K a night, you could have a companion to eat dinner with, talk to, and you know, do other stuff.

Hugs and kisses, these politicians sure have taught us valuable lessons in life and in love.

Thanks to Jezebel for keeping us up-to-date on how Al Gore destresses when saving the world gets too overwhelming.

Yet, for Halloween, “grow up” doesn’t have to always involve wearing see-through lingerie and animal ears and calling yourself a “Sexy Kitten.”  There’s a difference between “Sexy Kitten” and “Naked Kitten,” something that many girls don’t want to understand.  I’m all for celebrating the one night a year when you can dress seductively in public and nobody can say a word, but I’m also all for those girls who realize they don’t have to look like a total hooker to get into the Halloween spirit.

So if you’re stumped for ideas this year that don’t involve thongs, ass-less chaps, or stripper shoes, here are a few ideas that are sexy but don’t make guys stop and question if you’ll be charging for sex later on:

Hipster: But, let’s be real, Hipsters are not sexy.

Wayne & Garth (Wayne’s World): Ingredients: a brunette and blonde, black t-shirt, trucker hats, glasses, plaid shirt, ripped jeans (all things easily found in a dorm). Imagine how much warmer you’ll be instead of freezing your culo off. Speaking of culo…

Chola: To some, that brown lip liner and drawn-in eyebrows look may be sexy, but since it’s more likely to scare the crap out of people, it’s even more perfect for Halloween.

Risky business broad: Oversize white button-down, socks, wayfarer sunglasses, some booty shorts (or, if you’re willing, tighty-whiteys) and if you want to add a hint of seduction, add a red bra.  A little sexiness won’t kill you…

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, or that OxyClean Guy: Or anyone else who really stood out in 2009. Octomom? Jon Gosselin? Swine Flu? Lady Gaga? (Though I would avoid her costume with the fireworks boobs…that might get dangerous.)

Something actually SCARY: You can never fail with the classics: Witch, Vampire, Ghost, Zombie, Mummy, or just go as a dead version of yourself (always attractive).

Those creepy Guitar Hero characters: Everyone who is anyone (or everyone who will do anything not to study) has spent a long time looking at those band-members rocking out while you jam on the drums. If those don’t work, what about Mario Kart people? Or that crazy DDR dancer?

If you have the metaphorical balls and artistic capability: Then start tallying up how many people that will want a picture with you.

Decades: The 20th century had a pretty unique style in every decade, from the  flapper, to the beatnik, to the grunge girl and beyond.  With so many options to play around with, you must feel so conflicted.

After all those techno remixes to Monster Mash, pounding Courvoisier shotsk’s every time they say “Shots” in the song “Shots“, and the possibility of spending the night in someone else’s bed, you’ll be glad you skipped out doing the walk o’ shame in a bumblebee outfit.  Just hide under your Wayne’s World hat and plaid shirt and vow to never drink again until next Halloween.

And bonus points if you get laid while dressed as Garth…I would shake your hand right now.

Woo! Work for everyone! Forget that English major; sex is the way. to. go.

Proposition K is being proposed, not to illegalize prostitution, but to eliminate the power of the po-po to go after the Vivian Wards of San Francisco.

Opposers of the proposition say passing it will result in an overflow of prostitutes, pimps and possibly harm the fight against sex trafficking; since the proposition would not allow the investigation of prostitution, authorities wouldn’t have the opportunity to help those being victimized by sex trafficking. Clearly, that is incredibly serious.

On the flip side, though, this could be the push the economy needs! $700 billion bailout, schmailout – San Francisco has the right idea.

So what do you think? Should the pretty women of SF be allowed to keep their posts on the sidewalks without worry of being handcuffed (and not in the good way)? Or should the po-diggies be allowed to continue their investigation of prostitution and sex trafficking?

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Remember when Girls Gone Wild used to shame party girls across the country who had one too many body shots on Spring Break and had the bad luck to land in front of a camera? Since when has slutty behavior turned into a profitable asset and a celebrity vehicle? Mini Me’s lover is collecting big after a sex tape “somehow” leaked, and now Eliot Spitzer’s ex-whore is getting a REALITY TV SHOW. I can’t believe that we Americans will actually tune in to the lives of nutjobs like the Lohans, the Kardashians, and now, some hooker who happened to win the jackpot.

When Tila Tequila burst on the scene, she had a great gimmick: the first bisexual reality dating show. But after the Bobby Banhart breakup-scandal, and oh-so-predictable opposite-gender-choosing finale in season 2, there’s not much buzz left in Tequilaville. Bring in the hooker! If you thought Tila’s patented, “How will your parents react when they find out I’m bisexual?” act starts to get old, imagine the “How will your parents react when they find out I’m the whore that ruined Eliot Spitzer’s career?” segment.

Yes, Handprint Entertainment, the fine folks who bring the lives of Pamela Anderson and Nicole Ritchie to the small screen, are in talks with MTV to give Ashley Dupre a shot at love. Monica Lewinski must be green with envy. Sure, she got a book deal, but she could have found “true love” in front of millions of strangers, and the producers would probably have thrown in a mansion as well!

If the dating show falls through, I’d like to pitch some backup ideas to Dupre’s new producers:

1. Dupre’s Deal or No Deal- Combination dating-slash-game show: Dupre’s bachelors be able to buy some sex after their “one-on-one” dates. But what about after elimination?

2. Hooker and the Geek- 10 prostitutes and 10 geeks are paired up to learn from each other. The geeks teach the girls financial skills and politics (so they can find themselves their own Spitzer prototype), and, well, you can guess how the ladies reciprocate.

3. What Not to Wear: Escort Edition- I think the name says it all.

4. Real World: The Brothel- This is the true story of seven pimps and prostitutes picked to live in a house…

5. Are You Smarter than a Harlot?- Jeff Foxworthy would host this one for free!

6. The Slutty-real Life- Okay, so my Surreal Life pun needs work. But they can invite back reality skanks Trishelle Cannatella and Adrianne Curry, and let the STD’s begin!

Shows that probably won’t end up in TV Guide: Made: I Want to Have Sex for Money; So You Think You Can Screw; Celebrity F*** Club.

If programming catapults Ashley Dupre to the top of the celebutante ladder, why stop there? Throw in a record deal! If Brooke Hogan and Heidi Montag can cut an album, it might be a charttopping success! They can also add a movie deal, creating a modernized version of Pretty Woman… but in the end, instead of Richard Gere showing up with a limo, a money-hungry producer shows up with a TV contract.

Seriously, though, where are we going to go when this novelty wears off? How dirty is reality television going to get before draw the line? How many talentless nymphomaniacs are going to get rich while we struggle to pay off our student loans? I, personally, am sick of seeing these women re-objectify the gender every week and make a bad name for sexually liberated women who don’t need the cameras rolling 24/7. I prefer my walks of shame to go unrecorded, thank you very much.

I figured this was a bad idea, so I meandered over to health and beauty, where I knew I could find something to occupy myself with. And then I saw it– a Smashbox Picture Perfect Kit with eyeshadow quad, mini lip gloss trio (with pink leather mirrored case!), mascara, and face highlighter– for $19.99!! The kit came with detailed instructions on how to apply the makeup, much like other cosmetics brands that are now taking the guesswork out of makeup application . I snatched it, threw it inconspicuously into Mom’s cart and tore it open as soon as we were in the car.

Opening up the new makeup kit felt exactly the same way it did that very first time. My Grandma (against my mother’s desperate pleas not to) bought me a GIANT pink and purple kit full of awful pink lipsticks, hooker-blue eye shadow, fake mascara, fucshia blush and glitter, glitter, sweet glitter when I was three. It was then that I fell in love with makeup. I put on all of my face decorations, just like mommy did, every day before I left my house. I sometimes had loaded my face so full of makeup that it couldn’t take anymore, and, consequently, I applied some to my helpless baby brother.

Which brings me to my point.

Baby bro is now 16, with a healthy thirst for revenge. So to let him get back at me, I’ve enlisted his help in testing the “anyone can be a makeup artist!” attitude that so many companies (Almay, Smashbox, Hard Candy) have adopted. The kits come with fool proof instructions that are pretty straightforward. I sacrifice my body in the name of science, to determine whether these How To quads give you enough bang for your buck, or if you’re better off buying a regular set and playing around with trial and error.

Step 1: Apply lightest shade from corner of inner eye to brow bone.

Brother took brow bone very literally; I ended up with very pale eyebrows. He also neglected “inner eye” completely.

Step 1 Modification: Sweep lightest shade from inner corner of your eye to just under your brow in an arch the length of your eyebrow.

Step 2: Apply neutral shade from crease to brow.

This phase went fairly smoothly, although little bro didn’t apply enough pressure, so you can’t really tell I’m wearing any.

Step 2 Modification: Apply neutral from lash line to just under your first color. I like to add this extra step as a base for my darker colors, it just makes them pop more.

Step 3: Apply Second darkest shade from lash line to just above crease.

Again, little bro got it right! He did give up on using brushes at this point, but he blended the sparkly coal color into the neutral very nicely.

Step 3 Modifications: Use an angled brush to apply just above and below your crease. The brush allows for more even color distribution, and skipping the extra layer on your lower lid will keep if from looking cakey.

Step 4: Apply the darkest color from your lash line to just under your crease.

Brother used verrry little of the dark color (I think this may be that male fear of too much makeup kicking in), but managed not to make me look like I got into a fight. There was a little excess powder underneath my eyes, making it look like I was more than ready for nap time.

Step 4 Modification: Use a precision brush to slowly layer your darkest shade. You can always add more, but if you go too dark, you’ll ruin all of your hard work by removing it. Apply the darkest colors only to the outer third of your eyelid, to keep your eyes from looking small. And if you do catch a few flakes underneath your eye, use a fan brush to gently sweep them away, or very lightly use a tissue to sweep ‘em away.

Final Result: Not bad! A 16 year old boy, I think I can safely say, is the most inexperienced you can get when it comes to makeup (although I can think of a few 20 year old girlfriends of mine who would argue…) And if he can follow those directions, I have faith that even the most make up challenged can follow the guidelines in these idiot proof makeup kits.

[Photos courtesy of Smashbox.com and Neutrogena.com]

I lost my virginity at a 4-hour hooker motel in Bushwick, Brooklyn during a rainstorm at 3am. It was actually meant as a casual escape from a breakdancing party where I did not feel I fit in. Before I knew what I was doing, I was leaning close to the bright-red ear of my then-boyfriend and whispering that I thought tonight was the night. He grabbed my hand and we left without saying goodbye. And the rest is history.

But I digress. From what, I’m not sure.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, yeah, it’s a wild story and it was, actually, a very wild night, but we were safe (well, as safe as you can be in Bushwick). We used condoms. And to me, that’s all that matters.

I feel like the current trend is to act overtly sexual and then be really, really embarrassed about the actual act. It’s okay for 10-year-olds to wear lip gloss and bikinis, but it’s not okay to talk about sex itself.

The act of sex is intimate and, hopefully, loving. It’s natural. It’s necessary. Why are we so freaked out?

And why, seriously, why are we letting this affect our politics?

Elliot Spitzer was doing some pretty great things before this whole hooker scandal. While I agree that what he did was morally reprehensible (and I really do), it does not in any way tell us what kind of governor he is. Well, was. Yes, he was hypocritical. Yes, he was unfaithful. But politically, he was doing a great job. Why should he resign for something completely unrelated to politics?

On an almost opposite note, we take Hillary Clinton and we make her into this chaste prude. We call her ice queen, we crack jokes about her husband’s infidelity. We want her to have a little more femininity, a little more sex. Again, Clinton’s campaign has been one long roll of suck, but that has nothing to do with her sex life.

So which is it, America? More sex or less? Why must we be so puritanical that we demand an exact measure of sexual tension, no more, no less, from not only our citizens and our celebrities, but from our politicians?

First, the world had to deal with Bratz. Strange, big headed dolls with too much make-up and really skanky outfits. Dolls that—as far as I can tell—are totally aimed at creating 4th grade fashion disasters.

Besides making it seem cool to be so skinny your head looks like a watermelon, Bratz embody insipidness, sluttiness, and vapidness, limiting girls’ imaginations to taking their dolls to the “mall”, buying their dolls “stuff”, and seeing how many times their doll is mistaken for a hooker on the doll sidewalk.

Gone are the days when girls would be satisfied with a long, frilly pink dress for their dolls. Gone are the innocent one-piece bathing suits and “career” outfits. Now, thigh high stockings, tiny shirts, and skirts so short you can totally almost see plastic doll butt are all the rage.

Illustrating this disgusting theory even further is Barbie’s—or rather, Mattell’s—answer to the Bratz dynasty: My Scene Barbie.

Finding their way into Happy Meals until later this month, My Scene Barbies are almost exact replicas of the slutty toys they’re trying to imitate, except that their eyes have a slightly more “coked-out” expression and their lips look as though a collagen injection went horribly wrong.

My Scene Barbies wear their short outfits with pride, carrying a barrage of fashion “accessories” that include hooker heels and mock couture purses with a little dog stuffed inside.

Basically, we’re teaching little girls to dress and act like Paris Hilton.

Which makes me too depressed to type any longer.

Ever think to yourself, “Damn, Self, where can I go to find jeans that are not only ugly, but whorish at the same time?”

Well, someone did.

Bikini jeans, the new clothing invention by someone who worships Britney Spears, have begun their decent on fashion, fugging girls up one by one.

These blinding jeans supposedly have their origins in Japan, but after doing a little research, I found them being sold for $80 on a “Bazillion Fashion” website. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter what country is responsible, all that matters is that they cease and desist.

Underwear and jeans? Since when was this combo necessary?

I don’t know about you, but there has never been a day in my life where I’ve woken up and thought, “Ugh, I wish I didn’t have to put on my underwear AND my jeans today. Man, can’t somebody just come up with a pant that looks like my thong is sticking out without me having to go through the hassle of actually putting one on?“

Anything that considers itself “both underwear and jeans” should be ripped up and burned immediately. Nothing good can come of such a trend.

Unless you’re a hooker.

Not surprising that this is going on all the time, since Craigslist is free, available to everyone 24/7, immensely popular, constantly changing up its listings and crawling with creepy people.

Becoming a hooker is getting easier, thanks to growing technology and the Internet and the fact that hookers are learning how to use it. Hookers are getting smarter! Noooo!

The NY Times reports 70 prostitution arrests in one town alone over the past year, (Nassau County is freaky!) and the story of eight women who traveled to Nassau from all over the country to make some money the hard way. Literally.

Here’s a recent interview with the College Callgirl herself, and it’s pretty interesting. Some highlights:

How often do you use Craigslist to find clients?

I posted ads in the Erotic Services several times a week. My first ad was something like “College girl needs rent help.” I basically said I wasn’t a pro and I wasn’t a supermodel—just a cute, regular girl willing to utilize her talents in exchange for a donation to her “college fund.” Most of those ads [up there] are escort agencies, so I got tons of responses. I’ve also used it as a sex delivery service when I was looking to fulfill a specific fantasy or just too lazy to leave the house.

Would you have gotten into prostitution without Craigslist?

No chance. I don’t have the body for a high-end escort service or at least wouldn’t have had the confidence to approach one. Craigslist just made it so easy.

She also goes on to mention digital pimps, which are always fun.

So, I decided to do a little research and see if I could find some of these skeevy Craigslist ads that hint to sex and money and getting money for sex. New York was too obvious, so I picked an obscure city. (St. Paul Minnesota is freaky, too!) I kid you not, the first post I clicked on said this:

“I am NOT a Golddigger but money is scarce lately so I am looking for someone who has no problem paying when we go out to do things. Plus if you want to buy things or pay some bills that is a nice bonus but not a necessity my any means.

So if you are CHEAP then please don’t contact me.

Again, I am not a Golddigger and not looking for a Sugar Daddy.”

Haha!

I ain’t sayin’ I’m a golddigger, but if you wanna give me money for dating you and having sex with you, that’s totally cool.

And just for the hell of it, I ventured into the fabulous and always entertaining “casual encounters” of Craigslist and found a winner.

“I am looking for a woman or couple who will get into prostate milking.” m4mw – 47

Isn’t the Internet wonderful? So many possibilities out there…