Hey Dude,

I just broke up with my boyfriend of more than 6 months (who keeps count these days anyway?), and it’s been a rough time. Mostly, I think, neither one of us wanted to break up but we had been growing apart for sometime. New changes in his life prompted him to cut the cord, and we went our separate ways…kind of. In reality, as soon as things were officially over (I’m talking next day here), he and I went back to normal. We started texting nonstop again, calling a few times a day just “because this song reminded me of you,” or because “you’re going to die of laughter when you hear about my dinner mishap.”

Aside from the fact that we were no longer together absolutely NOTHING had changed… It’s as though all of the pressure of a formal relationship was suddenly off and we were that fun and exciting couple again…minus the couple.

I think you should know that we haven’t had to face the issue of hooking up yet because he lives in a land far far away (but really only like an hour and some change) so I don’t know how that little taboo will work out when we next see each other.

Now, I never wanted us to break up, I just wanted us to take some time to cool off and reconnect. So, as you can imagine after how well things have been going, I want us to be together again. Is this silly, is it time to start getting over him or should I continue to cling to the hope that it’s all going to work out?

-Ex-girlfriend

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One recent night at the bar, as I was sipping on my Long Island, a nearby guy began hitting on me. He asked me to dance, and my inebriated-state told me that this was a good idea. However, upon our dancing (read: trying to maintain balance in heels) and conversing (read: finding out basic facts), he told me casually that he used to see one of my sorority sisters. He said that he was surprised he hadn’t met me before, as he had slept at the house so often.

Red Flag.

Peace out, playa.

He seemed a little peeved and surprised that I was no longer interested in “gettin’ out of here” with him. Um, hello? You used to hook up with one of my sisters!

On my chilly, wobbly and lonely walk home, I started thinking about the whole situation.Why was this guy surprised at my sudden complete lack of interest? Moreover, why wasn’t knowing that I knew his ex a big red flag for him, too? Read More »