I could write a saga longer than the Twilight series about what sex means to a woman and why they have it.  Women will have sex to strike an extra intense emotional connection with someone else, boost their appeal in popularity, fulfill a fantasy, become physically and mentally closer to the one they love, gain revenge, because Cosmo say’s it is an easy way to beat off calories, or because a night out with their single lady friends made them feel like they needed to have more fun.

To make a long story long, sex to a woman means a plethora of complex things.  Sex is a loaded gun containing bullets of feelings, emotions, and meaning (even I’m getting a little poetic talking about it).

Sex for the dudes on the other hand?

It’s really just a three letter word. Read More »

Read my lips: I want you.

Life has taken an unexpected turn into the world of sharing your utmost sexual feelings…on your lips.  Now you can proudly pair your sexy black dress and pumps with this sexy new lip gloss, that let’s your pals know when you’re ready to romp.

This lip gloss, working with your body chemistry, changes shades to reflect how hot and bothered you are. It’s like a mood ring for your lips, but instead of telling you how cool and relaxed you are, it tells others how much you want to tear their clothes off and get frisky in your twin XL.

It looks like I am in business! But without understanding which colors equal “let’s get it on,” how are dudes supposed to know when we’re feeling frisky? I see a new pick-up line forming already, “Hey baby, my lips seem to be darkening into a deep shade of turned-on, join me on the dance floor to get jiggy to Lady Gaga?”

Is it just me, or does this mood-lip gloss thing seem like a terrible idea?  Here are five reasons why: Read More »

Hey dude,

I find myself constantly single, and I’m wondering if it’s because i’m too “forward.” I’ve been told I’m the “dateable” type and that I’m pretty, but I think sometimes I tend to rush things with guys a little bit. For example, this guy asked me on a date a week ago, and it was great! I’ve known him for a while through mutual friends, and I was really flattered he asked me. We ended up meeting up that night at the bars and I went to his friend’s house, then he spent the night at my place (no sex, though). We’ve hung out a bunch more times, and I’ve met all of his friends, but every time we have hung out we’ve been drinking and have hooked up. I know I should probably be taking it slow so he takes me seriously or whatever that nonsense is about the thrill of the chase, but girls have needs too!

We haven’t had sex, and I’m not thinking we will anytime soon, but I would still like the attention. How do I straddle this line between, frankly, being horny and still feeling special and not like a hook up? This scenario has occurred more than a few times throughout my three and a half years in college, and i’m beginning to think I don’t know how to be in a relationship or how to get to the point of starting one. Am I doing something wrong?

Thanks dude,
Horny Hook-up Read More »

Like most women, I get a little horny sometimes. (And like all women, I wish there were a less disgusting term to use to describe that phenomenon.) The fact is, I have needs and it gets a little old to be using a battery operated machine to fulfill them all the time. I love my vibrator, but it can’t cuddle with me, or play with my hair, or tell me how hot I look thanks to all those grueling Sunday morning boot camps.

And the longer I’m single (which is a long, LONG time – the closest thing I’ve had in the past 3 years was a guy I was dating for 2 months who broke it off with me via email…and called me the wrong name), the more I’m inclined to get into a Friends With Benefits relationship.

But I’m not sure I should really let my hormones make any decisions for me. Lord knows that doesn’t work out when I’m PMSing and those bitches tell me to eat an entire pizza…and dip it in ranch dressing.

Needless to say, I’m torn. Read More »

Phone sex. One of those taboos that’s so great, people are willing to pay $5.99 a minute just to get some. Of course, if you’re in a relationship, you can get it for free. But you haven’t, have you? Sure, phone sex might seem awkward at first, but under certain circusmtances, it can satisfy the carnal needs of you and your partner.What’s the big deal with phone sex, you ask. I mean, sure, I prefer a quality hump to a Cingular-shag, but sometimes, you’re horny and physical contact isn’t an option.

I lost my phone sex virginity when I was in a long-distance relationship. Actually, we were having phone sex long before we had actual intercourse, because my track record was a lot longer than my man’s and I was trying to be a “good girl” and take things slow, or some bullsh*t like that.

Anyway, you know all the fluff and butterflies that come when you have a new crush, or even better, a new boyfriend. I was really into this guy. I wanted him. Bad. But I was buried with school work, and wouldn’t be able to visit him for a week or two. One night, I called him, half in the bag and 100% horny. Obviously, the alcohol lowered my inhibitions, and I started talking dirty, telling him how much I wanted him…and the next thing I knew, BAM! Phone sex. Read More »

One of my biggest gripes about being a woman is not the fact that I can’t get paid as much as a man for doing the same amount of work (though that is up there), or the amount of maintenance that is expected our gender (hair, nails, waxing, working out, etc.).It is the fact that my period makes me really, really horny.

But it’s not like I can do anything about it, right? I mean, I don’t even want to think about what’s goin’ on down there, so how can I ask someone else to actually venture in that direction? At the same time, though, guys love sex and would do anything to have it. So maybe they really don’t care if their mate is currently hanging out with Aunt Flo?

I needed some answers, so I turned to someone who could get me the scoop: a dude. Read More »

If there’s one thing I learned from Gossip Girl last night, it’s that you can have sex with whomever you want, and the person you actually have feelings for (but aren’t banging, for some reason) will completely understand, and forgive you, and maybe even like you more.

If there’s one thing I already knew, it’s that when you’re the poor, unpopular kid on the Upper East Side, your life will be a continuous cycle of being walked over, speaking your mind, putting your foot in your mouth, and then being magically forgiven and allowed to advance to the next round.

Did you miss last night’s episode? Let me fill you in.

Within the first minute of GG, Nate mentions the inevitable party that will tangle everyone up in some drama that will continue to be played out next week.

Other expected GG staples: Catherine and Nate talk money; Serena and Dan are together but have issues (did I miss them deciding to be a “secret” couple?); and Jenny has some great ideas for her fashion internship, but she’s a lowly intern and isn’t allowed to have opinions.

The best thing about the first half? The mini gossip girls who approach Dan and throw in their two cents. If you missed it, two tweeny-bopping brunettes are on Dan’s side, and one tweeny-bopping blond is on team S. The blond asks Serena how she can kiss Dan, knowing his tongue has been in Georgina’s mouth, which seems a bit much when you consider the girs were, what, 11? The tweensters were obviously comic relief, but for some reason their opinions caused an awkward rift between S and Lonely Boy…which I was over by the next commercial. Read More »

Usually, we try to have some kind of theme to our Wednesday Night series, but when we went digging through the Casual Encounters this week, we spent so much time being supremely grossed out that it was all we could do to keep ourselves from falling on the floor and pouring printer ink into our eyes. I mean, there was some gross sh*t on the internet this week. For realz.

Below are just a bunch of people we really hope we never meet. Read More »

For this week’s Wednesday Night Encounters, we’re going to observe Men Of Few Words. Not everyone finds it necessary to go on and on about what they want in a partner. Some people enjoy eulogizing for hours about their likes and dislikes, their hopes and dreams, their “future”, but these guys aren’t interested in bogging us down with such trivial matters. In only a few small sentences, they get to the heart of the matter. They know what they want…and they want it now.

Nice. Read More »

[Editor's Note: I have no idea what this picture is, but it made me laugh so I used it. I hope you love it as much as me.]

Since learning that confidence is the most attractive thing to a man, I have been pretty successful in my late night endeavors. I see a man I want and I go for it. The general “walk up to a guy and flirt your heart out” approach is most definitely the way to go, but it is the variety of pick-up lines that makes the whole thing so much more fun.

My 5 most successful are listed below. Feel free to use ‘em…they work like a charm. (Just make sure to thank me later. I accept cookies, hugs and dates with Jake Gyllenhaal.)

1. Did you go to [Insert school here]? It is always good to have something to talk about when you approach a man. I mean, you would look pretty creepy if you just walked up to him and stood around. The school thing is always the best way to go because even if you know for a fact that kid did NOT go to Michigan, it is a great way to start off a convo. And let him know how smart you are. Read More »