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You don’t have to fill a plastic pumpkin with candy corn to make the most out of fall’s best holiday. Even if the pumpkins are the best. things. on. earth. Halloween comes chock full of goodies, many of which won’t send you into a diabetic coma or give you a muffin top in your cheap vinyl pirate hooker costume. We’re less than two weeks away from Halloween, and I know I’m looking forward to way better treats than fun-sized Milky Way bars.

1. Horror Movie Overload

As a horror movie fanatic, this is my favorite time of the cable television year. On any given day of the week, you’ll find yourself choosing between installments of Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street. Scour the TV Guide, and you’ll probably also find lesser-known thrillers like The People Under the Stairs, or a wide selection of Steven King novel-turned-creepy-classics.

This is also the time of year for new horror flicks to hit the cinemas. I’m tempted to shell out $10 for Saw V, which hits theaters October 24. I also have to admit I’m tempted to check out The Haunting of Molly Hartley, which comes out on Halloween, and not just because of Chace Crawford.

2. The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Special

Can you believe that this year’s Simpsons Halloween Special will be number 19?!? Though we have to wait until November 2 to see ToH XIX, you can bet the other 18 episodes will be running in syndication every weeknight for the next couple of weeks. This year’s episode will supposedly feature spoofs of Transformers and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (another Halloween treat that deserves an honorable mention on this list). The opening credits are also rumored to have strong political ties, but I’d rather not spoil the surprise. If the blood and gore of horror flicks gross you out, you can still appreciate the hilarious parodies that The Simpsons bring us every year. Read More »

I am a horror movie buff. I love them. It’s stupid, because sometimes I see one that actually freaks me out and then I can’t sleep without staring around the dark room wondering if I’m going to hear weird noises or see something standing in the corner. But hey, whatever. Some people like roller coasters, I like my scary movies. So, in the spirit of the season, I present the top five scary movies, in no particular order:

5. Halloween–Okay, the first two originals are great, mostly because they are a continuation of each other, but the first film in the series definitely trumps the second. Also, the remake from last year by Rob Zombie was phenomenal. He delved into the psyche of knife-wielding Michael Myers a good bit and made the story much more three-dimensional.

At the same time, John Carpenter was a genius. His direction of the first film was what made it such a great jump-inducing movie. He doesn’t build up to his scary moments with music, so if you haven’t seen the movie, you won’t know when some of those “gasp” moments are coming–and it makes it sooo awesome.

4. House on Haunted Hill–I include this one because even though you might not find the original all that scary, it still has Vincent Price in one fantastic role. The plot is good and there are some cheesy scares, but if you’re not that into truly terrifying movies, this is a good one. House on Haunted Hill is also a good girls’ night movie: you can get  your thrills without feeling too scared to drive home at three o’clock in the morning when the popcorn and pizza has run out. Definitely a classic that everyone should see at least once. Read More »

I had a lot of nightmares as a kid. Thanks to these nightmares and various frightening films I’ve developed a hilarious set of OCD habits such as opening and closing closet doors before sleeping and checking behind the shower curtain before I saddle up to the toilet (you laugh but one day someone is gonna be in there and then who’s the dumb one!)

My imagination is easily inspired. For a while I couldn’t even watch a commercial for a horror movie because I knew those 30 seconds were enough to create an entire world of horrific fantasy that I’d be trapped inside for the rest of the evening. The one thing more unnerving then horror characters and sharks (I don’t swim in the ocean, at all, ever) is muppets.

Not all muppets, Kermit is fine, Fozzy, whatever. I’m talking about those LSD muppets that creators slip in films and TV shows, mixed with other cute, lovable creatures. They lure you in with Grover and then BAM, some abomination walks onto the screen that’s burned into your mind forever. Some horribly disfigured, warbly voiced monstrosity that may as well be drenched in blood, because thats how you’ll remember them, regardless.

Here’s five of the worst perpetrators. Read More »

I’ll admit it. I’m a huge wimp when it comes to scary movies. I get nightmares, have to sleep with the light on, run my foot underneath my bed just in case… all generally embarrassing stuff. I know my tolerance is lower than most people—this was proven when I was very young and my entire family watched E.T and loved it, while I sat on a rocking chair with a blanket over my head the entire time—and I fully accept my childish fear.

That being said, I have watched a few freaky films in my time and totally appreciate their craft and originality. Nightmare on Elm Street, Aliens, The Exorcist, Sixth Sense (come on, the first time you saw it…you were kinda scared), are some of my favorites, although I may still have to watch them from under a blanket.

But here’s the thing. I’ve been noticing a trend when it comes to horror movies these days. A trend that doesn’t make me want to watch from behind my hand, but turn the damn thing off all together. We’re not just making horror movies anymore, we’re churning out torture flicks.

Newsweek explains my argument in a much more eloquent way. According to them, since last fall, seven horror movies have topped the box office, the Saw franchise, Hostel, and The Hills Have Eyes leading the pack. And what do all these movies have in common? Blood. Gore. Tits. New York Magazine’s David Edelstein is even quoted as saying the trend verges on “torture porn”. Read More »