Want to be a classy woman?  Zenyatta could teach you something.  And I’m not talking about the Zenyatta Mondatta 1980 Police album, either. I’m talking about a living, breathing, Guinness drinking lady. Who also happens to be a horse. That’s right, a horse.

Which is more surprising?  The fact I just called a horse classy or the fact I said she drinks one Guinness a day?

When I meet a really classy woman, I can just smell it wafting from her like a spritz of Chanel No. 9.  She presents herself with ease and balance. She lifts her head high but does not turn her nose up at you. She exemplifies sophistication and showcases a confident attitude.

Have you met a classy woman? I’ve met quite a few in my time but none quite like the horsey woman inside the equine goddess, Zenyatta.

Before you go say I’m a crazy person for forcing you to look up to a horse, hear me out.  And follow her amazing story. Read More »

A few weeks ago I was on the treadmill at the gym watching the preliminary festivities for the Kentucky Derby, when I realized what my life is missing.

Giant. Ornate. Hats.

For realzies; Derby-style hats are the sh*t, for multiple reasons. For one, like all hats, they immediately cover a bad hair day. But, Derby hats are so huge and ostentatious, they can also distract from a host of other problems, such as a bad face day (don’t lie to yourself, you know you’ve had one).

That said, in addition to helping to conceal appearance issues, Derby hats are also good for drawing attention in a crowd, because, let’s face it, how often are people wearing hats with two foot brims covered in netting and ribbons and feathers and roses? They’re perfect for meeting friends in a crowded area or helping a blind date pick you out at a bar.

Also, Derby hats = insta-glamour. Whether paired with a frothy tulle ball gown or jeans and a tank top, Derby hats make a lady instantly look fabulously feminine and alluring. Don’t believe me? Watch an Audrey Hepburn movie and then try to tell me megahats aren’t the sh*t. Read More »