I’ve had the pleasure to write a handful of College Candy’s Guys We Wanna Eff, and as a red-blooded twentysomething female it’s certainly not a difficult task to write about the hottest male stars. But I have to preface the ode to this week’s man of honor by saying I would trade in a year’s worth of paychecks and possibly Spring Break for one night with Rahm Emanuel. He takes the number-one spot on my Eff List. That’s right, I said it!

While Joe Biden (who, may I say, looks A-OK for a man of 66) is technically second-in-command behind President Obama, Rahm Emanuel occupies what many call “the second most powerful job in Washington” as the White House Chief of Staff. The position labels him as the highest-ranking officer of the Executive Branch (after the President), as well as Obama’s senior advisor. Before joining the new administration, Emanuel was a Congressman representing Chicago in the House of Representatives. Now, what woman doesn’t want to eff a man in power?

“Rahmbo” isn’t just a stiff politician, however. Did you know he studied ballet throughout childhood and college? Totally true; his mom still wishes he were a dancer! He followed his career in dance with a short stint as a civilian volunteer for the Israeli Defence Forces, and his brother Ari is the inspiration for Jeremy Piven’s character on Entourage. The man gets around–in a good way!

But it’s his feisty personality that really gets me going. He is known among politicos as “The Enforcer” for his ability to get things done. His way. Rahm once mailed a dead fish to a pollster he didn’t quite get along with back in the day–how’s that for teaching others not to eff with him? (Effing me, however, is a different story.)

To me, Rahm is one sharp-shooting silver fox who’s had me begging for a little effing action ever since I saw his dark bedroom eyes and wry, snarky grin. Oh, and I can’t help but love a man with a dirty mouth. He was once quoted as saying, “‘Rahm’ …roughly translated from Hebrew, means ‘go screw yourself.’” (Can I get your help with that?)

But to recap, the man’s a dancer (read: he’s flexible), he has megawatt connections to Hollywood (via his bro, Ari) as well as everyone in politics, he’s a smart-alec success who still can pull off frat-boy pranks (dead fish!) with pizzazz. In the words of Rahm, what more could you effing want?

A few months ago, we at CollegeCandy attempted to do a roundup of all the hotties on Capitol Hill.

The results were less than appealing.

Someone upstairs heard our cries and brought us this: the hottest guy ever to step foot into the House of Representatives. Might we introduce you to Aaron Schock, the newest and youngest (27, baby) Congressman from Illinois.

Time to send naughty photos write a letter to my congressman. Get your congressional eye candy below.

According to CNN.com, “Although another version of the plan will likely go before Congress, investors are concerned that passing the bill could be a more drawn-out process.”

Even though we recently interviewed an economically savvy insider, we’re still doing our best to keep from climbing out of our chairs and curling into the fetal position underneath our desks. While none of us in the CC office have enough money in the bank to worry that it won’t be insured, or enough money in the stock market to consider jumping out the window, we can’t help but worry that something drastic is happening.

But even though we are scared (and may or may not have consumed a large milkshake…out of FEAR) we do know what everyone should do to prevent a complete economic collapse/major emotional breakdown:

1. You should keep your money where it is. Do not take all that money out of the bank and store it in your Yaffa blocks; no matter how bad things get, that tiny lock on your dorm room door is still not a safer option.

2.  You should not freak out yet. Do not stop shopping, do not sell your stocks, do not head to the nearest Costco and stock up on canned tuna. Just keep living like you’re living. It’s when people stop doin’ their thing that the real economic sh*t hits the fan.

3. You should drink. Heavily. Go dancing, have a good time, then stimulate the economy buy loading up on pizza and breadsticks late night.