Question for Tuffy?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and leave a message at the BEEEEEEP.

Tuffy Question: Hey, where all the lesbians at?! How come I never hear from you girls?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we are just crazy about each other, but we are still virgins.  We were originally saving our virginity for religious/moral reasons, but we both changed our minds on that and want to have intercourse now.  However, we each live in our parents’ homes and his family is super-religious.  And if someone finds out, both of us will be in deep trouble.  Apart from simply waiting, what can we do?

–All revved up with nowhere to go

Dear Revved,

What can you do?! Why, many a thing, young lass! Let’s see–

But first, let lil’ ol’ Tuffy just lil’ ol’ say: ALWAYS USE CONDOMS. In EVERY situation. In ANY genital exchange, with ANY gender. Okay?! CONDOMS. CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS.

Okay, that said, first, I want to say that I am writing this advice to you, girl, assuming that you are of consenting age. Okay? Please, young ‘uns, wait till you’re ready. You should never feel pressure to have sex before YOU are ready to do it. No one tells you what to do with your body–you are your own and only your own.

So, now the fun! Things you can do:

1. Intercourse: Yes, you can have intercourse. Just take it slow. Kiss a lot. Talk, giggle, don’t take it too seriously. Just do what comes naturally. And, importantly: Tell him if it’s hurting you. Let’s be real, girls, it hurts the first time, but if you have a gentle and patient partner, he’ll go slow when you need him to and it’ll be much, much better. And, frankly, if you don’t have a gentle and patient partner, I highly recommend dumping his ass.

2. Making Out: What’s wrong with just heavy making out?! This can be a great precursor to sex. It’ll really help you find out what turns you guys on. Kissing and touching is the perfect way to experiment without having to go too far.

3. Oral Sex: This is SEX – oral is NOT casual. You still need a condom for this one (sorry, kids – no one likes the herp). Okay, the main thing here is being equals; you give him, and he gives you. It’s all about reciprocity. And it’s also all about listening. Don’t just get down there and try to look like a porn star; that ain’t doin’ nothin’ for no one. Listen to his reactions and learn from them (and expect him to do the same for you!!). And don’t be too shy to read up on the subject for tips (so to speak).

4. Manual Stimulation: You actually don’t need a condom for this one, but make sure the hands are CLEAN (and that you have a condom nearby, just in case you decide you want to switch activities). Again, feel each other out (haha. No, but seriously). See what works for you guys. It’s just touching to make each other feel good – remember, this is a person you love.

5. Anal: Okay, not for the beginner. Work your way up to this one. And, if you do eventually go there, use condoms and tons of lube.

Places, given the circumstances, where you can do said things:

1. Backseat of a car
2. Friend’s place (with friend’s permission, of course)
3. As a last resort, save up money and rent a hotel room during daytime hours (so no one gets suspicious)

This is all assuming you love each other. Remember, kids, Aunt Tuffy Sez: Don’t rush into anything. Sex is so much better when there’s love involved.

Good luck to you, girl. Use condoms, be safe, have fun!

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

If only everything else were so simple.

[Ever see something you want but don’t have the money to buy? Ever get sick of studying/watching TV and have the urge to get crafty and make things on your own? We know! Us too! We just don’t know where to start, which is why we got some of CollegeCandy’s craftiest writers to share their favorite DIY projects with everyone. These things are easy, fun and a great way to save some serious cashola.]

I was always a bangs girl. And by always I mean long after it was socially acceptable to have them. I even remember the monumental day when I finally listened to my stylist and grew those bad boys out. Too bad it was like 3 months before they started showing up in fashion magazines as the new “it” hairstyle.

Now bangs are everywhere and they add so much fierceness that I just have to have them back. And I can do it…all by myself.

Cutting your own bangs seems totally scary, but if you are careful and do it right, you can have a salon look without paying the salon price. So, grab some scissors, get in front of the mirror and get chopping.

Tools:
Shears (Do not use whatever scissors you have lying around the house – those will most definitely leave you with some seriously botched bangs. Invest in a pair of hair shears for a precise cut.)
Mirror
Hair clips
A good friend for moral support

Snip Snip:
1. Make sure your hair is dry and styled how you normally wear it. If your hair is wet it will be weighed down and you will cut off more than you mean to!

2. Gather the hair in the front that you’d like to cut into bangs. This can be as thick or thin as you want. Pull back the rest of your hair and secure it in hair clips so as not to accidentally cut something you shouldn’t.

3. Comb the bangs down in the front so everything is where it should be.

4. Grab the to-be-bangs between your index and middle finger and pull down lightly, holding them away from your face.

5. Take your scissors and, pointing them up, trim in upward snips. (Do not cut straight across! That will leave you with a very unflattering straight line. By snipping upwards, you will have more texture to the bangs and they will look less severe).

6. Make your way across and check your progress. If they are too long, repeat step 5, taking off very little length. Repeat as necessary until your bangs are at the desired length.

Remember to keep those hands steady. You don’t want to end up lookin’ like this. Also, it’s better to snip too little than to hack too much, so take your time. I did and I’m super happy with the chic and fabulous results.

Every Monday I will be back to teach you how to do something useful, even if it also happens to be completely random. Because, hey, you never know when you just might need to know how to change a tire…or mix a perfect martini.]

I’m off to the Obama inauguration with some friends this weekend, and I am sooo psyched about it. The inauguration itself will be cool, obviously (despite our lack of tickets—we hope), but what will really be cool is the ROAD TRIP!!!!!

There’s nothing better than hitting the road with some pals and feeling your everyday responsibilities and stresses trickle away behind you. Road trips seem to enable a greater sense of freedom than other vacations, and they can be done so spontaneously—just pack up and go, basically.

Still, a little planning goes a long way (both in terms of miles and preparedness). To ensure your road trip is a smashing success, follow these 4 tips.

1. Print directions!

A map is incredibly useful, yes, but it won’t necessarily get you to where you’re going. Some maps have such tiny print that you can’t read anything on them, and other maps aren’t detailed enough to get you back on track when you’re lost. To be safe and save time, use Google Maps or Mapquest to print driving directions for your trip, and designate the person sitting shotgun to be your navigator.

2. Be open to sideshows.

Road trips aren’t any fun if you just drive the whole way through—you have to explore! Before you take off, show your directions to everyone in your group, and ask each person to find a few places along the way that sounds interesting. They could be restaurants, museums, or really crazy national monuments, but if you hit up even half of them, you’ll be guaranteed an entertaining journey.

3. Keep a kit of essentials in the car.

On the open road, anything is possible—so do as the Scouts do, and be prepared. Store a box in the car that you’ve filled with a first-aid kit, wet wipes, Purell, a clean towel, a blanket (if you’re driving in cold weather), emergency phone numbers, a flashlight, and high-energy snacks.

4. Research detours, roadways, and traffic patterns.

I’m told that numerous streets and bridges will be blocked off in the D.C. area early next week for the inauguration. If I don’t check which streets are blocked before I go, I won’t be able to get home (which may not be entirely a bad thing…). To drive as safely as possible, try to learn about the roadways you’ll be traveling on before you go. That way, you won’t have to pull off any risky driving maneuvers or make any split-second risky decisions. Staying safe now means you can go on as many road trips as you want later!

[Image courtesy of autos.canada.com.]

I’m happy to share – after all, that is what this column is all about – so check them out!

1. Make a schedule for yourself.

This is really the most basic time-management tool. I use a daily planner and I write a new to-do list for each day. Then I cross things out as I finish them. For longer-term projects, I write down the due date and then I write down what I need to accomplish on the project on a daily or weekly basis. You can do whatever works for you—color-code your schedule, write it on a white board, use an electronic calendar, etc.

2. Consolidate activities.

I used to go to the bank every time I got a new check, which sometimes meant I’d be going several times per week. I wasn’t using that money immediately after depositing it, so there was no reason for me to go so often. Now, I only go to the bank once every two weeks. It saves me tons of time, and I just keep all my checks together until I go on my biweekly trip.

Think about the things you do often—run errands, cook, do homework—and then think about whether you can consolidate any of them. Maybe it would help you to cook several huge batches of food on weekends and then freeze them in meal-sized portions to use throughout the week. Can you do a quick math assignment while you’re riding the subway or waiting on the phone for a customer-service rep? If so, you’ll have more free time later.

3. Eliminate activities.

There are probably a few hobbies you have that you really enjoy doing, and a few things you do that you may consider a slight waste of time. I spend way too much time surfing the Internet, so if I’m going to write a big article or work on a portion of my book, I’ll disable my wireless connection. If you feel like you watch too much TV, you might want to drop a couple of shows from your repertoire and catch up on episodes online later (but only if you have extra time). Consider your biggest time-wasters (Bromance, anyone?), and get rid of them! You’ll be amazed at how your week opens up if you downgrade this way.

I know many of you guys are multitasking mavens, so please feel free to share more tips in the comments!

[Image courtesy of blogs.theage.com.]

For all of you out there who have ever wanted to do all of that crap that other people know how to do, your prayers have just been answered:

Instructables is here to save your life.

This site is one of the coolest sites ever (second only to CollegeCandy…) and I can hardly begin to explain all of the reasons why. Ok, so I will try. Here goes: they walk you through the instructions of how to do just about everything.

Literally, everything! No more asking guys to help with “guy” things or calling up your sister to teach you how to get your hair doing that perfect balance between chic and messy.

The Instructables people break their projects down for you by category. Once you decide between Art, Craft, Food, Games, Green, Home, Kids, Life, Music, Offbeat, Outdoors, Pets, Ride, Science, Sports, and Tech, they send you on your way to DIY heaven.

Step by step. Project by project. It doesn’t get any better than that.

The next time you have a project in mind, but just don’t know how the eff to do it, I can guarantee you Instructables will. And they’ll show you, too.

Tip 1: Search/Clip Coupons

I ordered my dad $30 worth of merchandise from Land’s End the other day and almost had a heart attack when I saw that the shipping was $8. Let’s get real here—it does not cost $8 to send two turtlenecks via 7-day delivery. In my incensed state of rage, I went to Google and typed in “land’s end coupons”—and lo and behold, a page with a free shipping code on it popped up.

Deals like that are only a few clicks away, so make sure to search every time you buy something online. If you prefer to do your shopping in the flesh, cough up a few quarters for the Sunday paper and comb all the ads. You can clip coupons from there and learn about the hot sales going on near you. It takes extra time, but you’ll make up for it in extra money.

Tip 2: Buy Used

It’s not always the best idea to give a gift that someone has already broken in (like undies), so use your discretion here. But for certain items and certain people, it’s a great bet. If you have a friend who has been dying to read a specific book, she probably won’t care if you picked it up at the used bookstore for $5 rather than paying the $25 price tag for the brand-new copy at Barnes & Noble.

This tip can also be used toward stylish purchases. If you know somebody who loves to dress uniquely, spend an afternoon hitting all the thrift stores in town and get them a few choice items that you know they’d love. An even better idea is to take them along with you and offer to buy them a full outfit of their choice—that way, you can be sure they like what they’re getting.

Tip 3: Think Practical

Yes, we all love unwrapping luxurious items when the holidays roll around. But wouldn’t it be nice to get something you actually need for a change? Sure, your automatic thought for a Mom Gift might be that nice cashmere-blend sweater you spied a few weeks ago, but before you part with too much of your hard-earned cash, stop and think. What could Mom really use? Maybe she’s always holding her place in books with old receipts and folded napkins, and you think she could make good use of a bookmark. Or maybe she’s always complaining about how food sticks to the bottom of her frying pan.

It doesn’t always make for an exciting gift, but thinking practically can help someone out far more in the long run than thinking luxuriously—and it’s probably also cheaper than springing for the cashmere-blend sweater.

[Image courtesy of ahckd.com.]

1. Will this keep me safe?

2. Will this prevent me from having a baby?

3. Did it break?

A condom is one of those things that you use (a lot, if you’re lucky…and smart), but never really think about. You know which kinds you like (Trojan), you know where to get them (CVS because it’s open 24 hours), and you know that they are a must-have for a night of passion.

But did you ever think about how they are made? (Me either, mostly because I didn’t care. If they are keeping my uterus empty, a drunk monkey could make em.) The entire process is actually really cool and interesting. They check each and every one for leaks! They wash and sterilize them! They fill them with air to test their durability!

Fascinating! Watch the video above. Just know: condoms have never looked less sexy.

[I used to think I knew everything…until I found myself stranded in the middle of adulthood with no map and no one to guide me when I got lost. I have learned a lot since then - from how to balance a checkbook to how to sew on a button - and will share my wisdom with you.

Every Monday I will be back to teach you how to do something useful, even if it also happens to be completely random. Because, hey, you never know when you just might need to know how to change a tire…or mix a perfect martini.]

It’s that time of year again—a chill is in the air, you’ll freeze without your scarf, and a salad just isn’t going to cut it for dinner anymore. You need heartiness, and what better way to get it than from soup?

But hold the phone. I’m not talking about Chicken and Stars here. Ohhhh, no. I’m talking about real soup; soup that you make with fresh vegetables and your hands (although please refrain from putting your actual hands in the soup).

Homemade soup is not just something your grandmother makes. It’s a very simple equation: ingredients + broth + flavor = soup. Each of these components can be mixed and matched to create tons of awesome soups, so here are some basics to get you started.

Ingredients

My favorite kind of soup to make is a variety that I affectionately deem “hobo soup”—it involves chopping up whatever I have in the fridge and tossing it in a big pot with some broth. If you are slightly more refined (which you probably are), you may want to decide on a kind of soup before you start making it. Get together the things you need—broccoli and cheese for cream of broccoli soup, pasta and carrots and celery and chicken for chicken noodle, flour for dumpling soup, etc. Basic soup recipes are available online, so when in doubt, Google. Get all your ingredients together and prepare them by chopping, sifting, and sorting. If you want more flavor to your soup, you can sauté certain ingredients (such as onions or celery) before adding broth.

Broth

The broth is the important base of your soup. You could also call it the stock. If you have leftover turkey stock from Thanksgiving, don’t throw it away—use it to make soup. If you don’t have any stock, don’t worry—you can use canned vegetable broth or chicken/beef/whatever broth. If you’re making a creamy soup, use milk as your broth. And in a real pinch, you can use water. Figure that you need between 1 and 1 ½ cups of broth for each serving of soup. When all of your ingredients are prepared, pour broth in your pot and add the ingredients. Simmer covered or uncovered for at least 20 minutes or until all of the ingredients are fully cooked and at the consistency you want. If you’d like a thick broth, whisk together 2 tablespoons of broth with 1 tablespoon of flour, and add that mixture to your broth.

Flavor

Much of your soup’s flavor will come from the broth, but it’s nice to add a little something extra. Italian Wedding soup will include basil, for example, and you may want to add cheese to a cream soup or a little bit of cumin to kick up a pumpkin soup. Stick with standbys for the first few times you make your own soup, but after that, you should have a good idea of how you can branch out and still end up with a delicious flavor every time.

All right. After writing that, I’m going to go dig into my leftover corn chowder (homemade soup keeps really well, by the way). I’ll share my recipe if you guys will share yours. What’s your favorite kind of homemade soup?

[Image courtesy of whatwereeating.com.]

The Smoky Eye. It’s one of the most powerful make up maneuvers a woman can use. It’s sexy and seductive, but do it wrong and you can look like you took a swift fist to the eye. Or like a crack whore. Thank God that some very clever brands took all the mystery out of the smoky eye. They’ve made it simple for us. So if you want a fool-proof smoky eye, try one of these fantastic products.

Stila Smoky Eye Talking Pallet ($40 sephora.com)

This little pallet could be called “Smoky Eye for Dummies.” It comes with 4 shades perfectly suited for a smoky eye, but the really crazy thing is that it actually talks you through the steps. You press a button, and it plays an audio recording taking you step by step through the process. Stila has some of the best eye shadows around, so you get the best of both worlds: quality product and technical instruction all in one little box! Plus is comes in 5 different color collections so you can pick the perfect shades for you.

Too- Faced Smoky Eye Pallet ($32 sephora.com)

So it may not talk to you, but the Too Faced Pallet does have a step by step instruction card. The thing that makes this pallet special is that is comes with NINE colors. They are divided up into three different looks – a soft brown for day, a classic black for evening, and a bold color combo. It keeps things simple and organized and gives you plenty of options for whatever mood you are in!

Sephora Brand Smoky Eyes Pallet ($38 sephora.com)

This pallet has four colors for the classic smoky eye. The thing that really separates this pallet from the rest is it’s the complete package. Every pallet has shadows, but this special little product has an eyeliner pencil and a mini-mascara. It’s the perfect thing to throw in your bag and have everything you need to create a sultry seductive smoky eye any time, any place!