According to StopHazing.org, hazing is defined as “any activity expected of someone joining a group (or to maintain full status in a group) that humiliates, degrades or risks emotional and/or physical harm, regardless of the person’s willingness to participate.” That can include everything from going to an event in costume to being thrown off a roof between two matresses (and yes, that did happen at my school).

In its original form, hazing was used to create a bond between a group of people. Basically, older members would put their new recruits through obstacles in attempts to force them to band together against their oppressors. And in theory it works – how many times during middle school did you and your classmates band together when faced with an evil teacher or, better, a sub?

The problem is that it has gone too far. Students are getting injured and sometimes even killed during acts of hazing. ABC recently did a study on this where they brought hazing out into the open to see if people would step up and stop the cruel acts. And what happened?

Well, when men were being hazed most people stepped in to stop it. When women were being hazed, however, most people stood by and watched, letting the poor girls be humiliated and hurt. It was a spectacle and people wanted to see what happened next.

It was horrifying and difficult to watch, but it made me realize that I have done this many times. Not only was I hazed as a freshman (mostly benign things like dressing up or being an older girl’s “slave”), but I knew about many other kids being hazed and never did anything about it. I wrote it off as just another thing that “everyone goes through” and let it continue. Yes, even when it was happening in front of me.

Campuses have cracked down on hazing recently, but it has not stopped. Could this be because we, the people closest to it, allow it to go on?

Every college student has encountered hazing in some way, so I’d like to know: would you stop hazing if you saw it? If not, why? Let it all out in the comments.

I’m the girl that was in an on-and-off relationship with a guy for eight years. Eight years. Eight long years of ups and downs, break ups, makeup sex, happy times, sad times, etc. He was my best friend. This year things changed a bit; I started college and he moved across the country. But we knew we’d be ok; we lasted this long didn’t we?

Before I left for school I visited him for three wonderful weeks. It was all lovey dovey and perfect. He was constantly telling me tat he loved me like he has for eight years, and we were going to get married, and blah blah blah.

When I got to college (about a month ago), I realized how much I disliked the school and told him how I wanted to go to New York next semester. He was really supportive and reminded me I could always transfer out there. Awww.

And then I didn’t hear from him for a few days. And then a few more days went on without contact. So I started to freak out. When I finally got a hold of him he told me we were fine, he missed me and loved me, and not to worry. So I didn’t; I figured we were back to normal.

But apparently we weren’t. No phone calls, no texts. He didn’t answer my calls or my texts. I was being ignored. I sent a long text explaining that he should want to talk to me because I was his girlfriend, and we needed to talk things out. I told him how I wasn’t mad (even though I was furious), and I just wanted to talk to my boyfriend. No answer. I got drunk (great solution to everything, eh?) and ended up calling fifteen times and sending four texts (according to my call log). Again, no answer.

I rarely get on Facebook chat, but I did on Tuesday night. This girl from my high school who goes to the same university as my boyfriend ex-boyfriend struck up a conversation with me. She asked if I was still dating the boy and went on to tell me about an interaction she had had with him:

He messaged her because she added him as her friend, and he didn’t know how he met her. She said that they had met at a party, he called her fresh meat, which wasn’t funny, and that she knew his girlfriend (ME.).

His reply: haha omg sorry that’s not funny but I am single.

WHAT. THE. EFF?!

My boyfriend broke up with me and DIDN’T. TELL. ME. Who does that? Who, after 8 years, is such a coward they can’t even be honest and up front? He told other people, but not me? And I had to find out via Facebook?

I have so many emotions running through me right now: anger, sadness, disbelief, embarassment. And it doesn’t help that I am at a school I don’t like without the comforts of my family and friends around me. I don’t know how to deal.

If you have any advice for me, I would truly appreciate it.

And please, don’t get discouraged if you’re in an LDR. Like I said before, I’m sure your boyfriends aren’t complete scum. And I’m sure there aren’t many guys who would leave it to Mark Zuckerberg to do their dirty work.

Okay, maybe not you, but these guys are being told by their company to pee in bags! Why? So the company saves time on bathroom breaks.

I can’t believe they’re seriously asking them to do this. Cutting back on cigarette breaks, I could see. But being asked to urinate in public in a bag given to you by your company? Totally humiliating.

On a slightly related note:

True story: I was once standing in a mall waiting for a friend. I was in a high-traffic area of said mall, with lots of people everywhere.

I notice this kid nearby tugging on his mom’s arm. She holds out a plastic bag…

…and he whips out his little kid weewee and pees in the bag.

I kid you not.

And THEN the mother took the bag and tied it up and just stood there, holding the kid’s urine.

I don’t know. Peeing in bags is nast.

But maybe it’s becoming mainstream (haha) and I’m just behind the trend.