No need to leave campus – ever. The big brands are comin’ to you.

The Democratic National Convention would only take a day if it weren’t for all the clapping.

The question on everyone’s mind: how do I store my sex toys?

Save a tree (or a thousand)!

Set your DVR – Lord knows you won’t be home on a Saturday night at midnight – Michael Phelps will be hosting SNL on September 13th.

Low Alcohol beer? Why on earth…?

New Orleans just can’t get a break.

Get to know America’s Next Top Model’s most – er – unique contestant.

He asked his GF out via Facebook relationship status.

A two-headed baby. For real.

The 30 porniest American Apparel ads.

Yes.

After reading her little quotefest in Britian’s Q magazine, I truly understood the idiocy of this girl—and almost hurled.

Some shining examples:

“Selling 24 million albums hasn’t really affected me”, the singer says when asked about her fame, “but it has changed things. I can’t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads.”

“I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy”, she goes on to say about her image, “and I sound a particular way. It’s good if you’re not easily ignored. And I’m not.”

Not only is Avril humble, but she’s also super charitable: 

“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”

So amazing she could take time out of her busy schedule to go through her closet for that “hurricane thing”. And giving “stuff” to her “workers”! How saint-like. Do you think she even gives them “vacation time”?!

Ugh. Someone hand me a bottle of Pepto-Bismol.