My Sexual Evolution

Before I lost my virginity, I judged people for their sexual exploits. I made snide comments about the girls who went out in search of a one night stand. I frowned upon my friends who slept with friends, “just because.” I talked badly about those who had sex with their boyfriends after only a week.

I knew most of that stemmed from my self-esteem issues and lack of sexual opportunity, but I didn’t care. Sex was serious, important and emotional; people should be waiting for that special someone to share it with, instead of just throwing it away on some random dude.

Then I met that special someone, developed that deep and emotional connection, and had sex. And as soon as it was over I thought to myself, “That’s it?” It’s not that it wasn’t good, it is just that the actual act of sex was so…technical. The heat, passion and feeling I was looking for was there, but it wasn’t any different than when we were just holding hands, kissing or spooning while watching a movie. I didn’t feel any different about him after the sex than I did before.

But I did feel differently about sex. Read More »